Day 31 is tomorrow. Should I cancel? WWYD

[kmorlock]

So, day 31 is mere hours away. We have not traveled home since Jan 2020. We have 12 nights at BWV planned for next month. Tix for MM and H2O too! Our DD is 3 and can be VERY difficult with serious behavior issues. I’m worried about tantrums, screaming, crying. She definitely would run away if given the chance etc. Even at home, trips to the store often end in crying or just losing it. Today she’s freaked out over the suitcases and screams every time she sees them. I want to go on this trip but, don’t want to: A) waste points on what might be a miserable time. B) Waste AP’s considering the uncertainty there. C) Somewhat Worried about the heat My DH has been thru a lot and really needs a vacation. Our DS15 needs something fun over summer too. He has been so many times, he’d prefer the beach but, DH is not a fan of the beach. He thinks it would be boring. Wondering if I should let them go and just stay home? Or, go and plan on non-park days at the pool. Anyone else deal with severe behavior issues during travel? We could cancel and have until March & June to use 2021 points. We would lose H2O glow tix for DH & DS. Airfare is on points so no penalties. WWYD?

 

[crazylady]

How do you think she'll do at the airport and on the plane? If you think she'll do OK, I would go and plan on lots of pool time for her and one of you. If you don't think she'll do OK on the plan or in the airport, I would cancel or just send DS and DH. I'm sorry you all are struggling!

 

[jppeek]

I just returned and my 2 year old (will be 3 in July) has some behavior issues as well. Weeks leading up he would scream he didn’t wanna go away, he didn’t wanna go on a plane, esc.

Flight down was rough with him, he pretty much screamed himself to sleep. 45 minutes into flight if I was able to turn around and go home I would of lol. First night you could tell he was out of his routine, and anxious and was very fussy. To make him more comfortable I actually placed an Amazon order before we left for a few of his favorite toys and had them waiting for him there, I felt like that helped get him comfortable a little.

First real day at parks he was tough, would scream “no more people”, big tantrums on lines, was not the easiest of days. We did chef mickeys that night, he liked the characters but wouldn’t eat, and if characters weren’t around would be super fussy.

Day two we took off from parks, hung out in room, spent time at pool, he wanted to play in kids play area so we let him do that. Really let him determine the day and pace. Didn’t push at all and it seemed to settle him a bit. Did a lot of playing in room with toys he was comfortable with.

Day three back to the park and he was MUCH better, very mini tantrums, and he started really having fun. He was excited, and really was like a different kid. We would watch a ride, and ask him if he wanted to do that.

Every day he got more comfortable, and I literally watched him grow up a little in Disney. The memories I have are incredible, and I am very thankful I went (and didn’t turn that airplane around lol). I was the same as you, where I almost canceled the trip last minute but I am really glad I didn’t.

Things that worked well for us was really letting him go at his own pace. We pushed him to go to park the first day, but after that we would ask “do you wanna go do rides or go to the pool”. Originally I had lots of dinning reservations, ended up canceling a bunch and didn’t do more than one sit down a day max (many days zero). We found the things he really enjoyed and leaned heavily on them. We missed out on some of our favorites this trip, but we tried hard to avoid things we thought could be triggers. We were there from 5/26-6/6 so we had plenty of time And just took our time.

Hopefully this helps, and no matter what you decide good luck! Your welcome to direct message if you have any questions or would like to discuss more.

 

[HappyDisneyWife]

I’m so, so sorry

The fear of an explosive child is truly difficult. We now believe our youngest daughter may have fetal alcohol syndrome. In a drastic oversimplification- my complex little girl has no empathy, is very manipulative, and very angry (about everything). She’s also very smart, creative, and funny. We love her and continue working with her daily… but it’s hard. We’ve got 6 kids & all have their own unique needs, but her emotions take the most time and energy… from all of us (not to mention that she also has substantial physical, medical needs to add to it!).

So, yes, I get it… and it’s a big reason why we don’t usually all travel together. We kinda take turns. It’s best for everyone. We’ve found our groove, and it works for us. We still have whole family trips & times to make those memories TOGETHER, but it’s not our norm, and that’s ok.

My hubby isn’t huge into Disney (like me), but enjoys going with me. He does, however, love the DVC resorts. At first he thought he wouldn’t want to take any kids to WDW himself (without me), but he changed his mind & has enjoyed an all boys trip and 1 with just our older daughters. He loved those trips!! But I think part of the reason for that is that the kids were always excited to go with him (even though some may want a vacay somewhere else, they all still love Disney- even as young adults).

So, in your case… if your son wouldn’t want to go, would it make your DH have less fun too?? In my house, daddy is the fun one- yet, when we talk Disney all the kids love going with me bc I LOVE it and that energy is contagious (that’s what they say anyway )!! The same is true for party-poopers though … So, I’d have quick a heart-to-heart with DH & DS, and see what they really want. You’re sweet to be ready to give up your vacation time- and it might be the right call… I have no idea. On the other hand, if you’re the Disney glue & they would have more fun if you’re all there together, think about how that could work. More pool time with just you & DD was my first thought (like the PP suggested)!

For our daughter, the closer we keep her to “normal” life while on vacation, the better. So, if we nap at home- we nap at Disney. If bedtime is 8, so be it. If we wouldn’t eat dessert every night at home, we’re not loading her up with sugar on a trip. Being overtired, or having a sugar crash, can make ANYone less pleasant… but if they’re a already a little powder keg… it’s like throwing on some kerosene before striking a match. Our other 5 kids, however, can truly enjoy all the “specialness” of a trip to Disney, bc they handle everything so very differently. I’m sure you’ll figure out what works for you & both your kids.

Stress that overshadows vacations is hard. It’s totally understandable that you’re having cold feet right now. Just talk it out with your family. I’m sure you’ll be able to find a solution everyone can be ok with (we’re not looking for perfect here )

Sorry this got so long… I wish you the absolute best!


… @jppeek just posted & I'm so thankful for their perspective! We have no idea the context for what is making your little one struggle so much right now… and that makes a big difference! But you asked for thoughts on “severe behavior problems during travel” …and these are mine. But it also makes me think that we had years of “experiments” before we figured out the best system for us. I wouldn’t let fear stop you from trying an experiment… it might go better than you think! (Fingers crossed!!) And if not- it will be something to learn from in order to make the next trip better

 

[LRdismom]

I say go for it. Plan on pool time as someone else suggested. A vacation sounds like exactly what all of you need. If DD is having what you call behavioral issues at home, why not at least be in Disney where there plenty of distractions and it might help. Totally not comparing, but my children have certainly had their fair share of misbehaving at Disney, but I've never felt like it was a waste of my points or money. There are plenty of good memories from those trips and there truly is something for everyone to do. Not every moment will be bad. I waited a long time to travel once Covid hit, and our mental health took a hit from being in the house for so long without getting away. You guys need the change of scenery if you haven't been anywhere. I hope it all works out for the best.

 

[howardlee2]

that is a LONG trip! what about cutting it to 6 nights? If that goes well you could rebook the other 6 for next winter sometime??

 

[BamaGuy44]

Personally I would go. IMO vacations with young kids, you take the good with the bad. A few bad/frustrating times will happen during almost any family vacation, and to me it wouldn't mean the trip was a waste. With 12 nights there will be plenty of time to go at a moderate pace, take breaks, non park days etc.

If you felt like the little one really wouldn't enjoy it all and would be miserable the entire time, that's a different story.

Also, and this is probably just my own stubbornness character flaw, I wouldn't want a 3 year old forcing me with their bad behavior to change or cancel a trip that I've put lot of time into planning, as you obviously have. If I felt like she'd have fun most of the time, I'd make the best of the other "stuff"

 

[cm8]

I’d go, we don’t know what the future holds in regards to future travel or health issues that may arise. This is about all of your family members not just the 3 year old. Your DH deserves his trip too.

 

[sndral]

There comes a moment every time I travel where I just want to chuck the whole thing & not go, especially if it’s been awhile since I’ve traveled or if there’s something new/overwhelming about a particular trip. I realize I am feeling fear of the unknown, I am afraid to leave the safety of my ‘known’ comfort zone. It’s normal to feel apprehensive & even afraid of the unknown, but IME if I just accept my feelings & keep going despite my fears my focus shifts. For me that’s usually when I’m sitting at the gate at the airport & instead of fearing the unknown my focus shifts to solving immediate issues & I start to get excited about possibilities for the future.
Every journey is made up of thousands of small steps, sometimes the hardest step to take is that first one.

 

[CraigInPA]

Flame me all you want, but it sounds like your 3 year old DD isn't quite ready for the intensity of a WDW trip.

I've been there making the decision to book a trip with a 4 year old and an 8 year old, and decided the 4 year old wasn't going to do well. When she was 5, it was a completely different decision.

 

[Imkarlawithak2005]

All kids throw tantrums. I feel most parents sympathize with you. Our son got himself so worked up one day he made himself sick on my husband and we had to buy them both new shirts. At the moment it was frustrating and we we we’re on the verge of tears, but now we laugh and he doesn’t remember. There have been many more behavior issues at the parks, but the good outweigh the bad. If you go and sense she is getting overwhelmed or on the verge of melting down, take a break. I guarantee you will make more good memories than bad ones.

 

[kmorlock]

Thanks to everyone for their kind input. As of now, we are forging ahead with the trip. We planned to take it easy and have a lot of pool time and not push. DH & DS can run ahead if they need to catch rides. We’ll take breaks and relax as needed. Disney vacations were so much easier when she was a baby!

 

[bobbiwoz]

Thanks to everyone for their kind input. As of now, we are forging ahead with the trip. We planned to take it easy and have a lot of pool time and not push. DH & DS can run ahead if they need to catch rides. We’ll take breaks and relax as needed. Disney vacations were so much easier when she was a baby!

I hope it all goes wonderful for you!

 

[RoseGold]

I don't see what canceling would do if it just shifts the trip a few months. I assume the same issues will exist then as well.

I went on a trip with a challenging child, and it was really difficult for everyone involved. I was honestly really frustrated, and it wasn't even my kid or my responsibility. I'd have conversations with your teenager and try to give them some space away from this kid's behavioral issues. Disney is a stressful environment, and it could definitely cause some significant challenges.

I'm not worried about strangers, who cares if kids are melting down, there's another one over there too. But I do think you need to give some care to how it could impact your other family members.

Maybe worth mentioning that your teenager could enjoy some freedom within Disney and the skyliner. With an AP and Disney transport, maybe he is mature enough to go on his own?

 

[Pinnochio]

I'd go....sounds like you all want to....many 3 year olds have tantrums....don't let it stop you from having fun and living....if she acts up take turns removing her from the situation....and breathe!

 

[yeahdisney]

When the kids were younger, we too kept close to their at home wake/sleep schedule.

I figured if 8 hours of school was their limit- 8 hours of Disney; and Disney is way more stimulating.

I would, if needed, take turns and let the older ones either start earlier or stay later with alternate parents to let them enjoy special time too.

 

[Sammie]

All kids throw tantrums. I feel most parents sympathize with you. Our son got himself so worked up one day he made himself sick on my husband and we had to buy them both new shirts. At the moment it was frustrating and we we we’re on the verge of tears, but now we laugh and he doesn’t remember. There have been many more behavior issues at the parks, but the good outweigh the bad. If you go and sense she is getting overwhelmed or on the verge of melting down, take a break. I guarantee you will make more good memories than bad ones.

I don't advise parents about situations that I have never experienced so I have no advice for the OP, but please do not say all kids throw tantrums is that not true> many do but just as many don't even within the same family.