My step-mother was a member and all I know about it is:
When she passed away, the DAR took care of all the arrangments for the funeral wake. I mean EVERYTHING!! The food, the hall, the flowers. They may have even helped with the funeral but I'm not sure. They were all very gracious. After a few months they contacted my father and asked him if he needed any help cleaning out the closets, etc. and they would find homes for any of her belongings, clothing that he didn't want. They were so helpful and they really made things easier.
I tried to find lineage so I could join but the closest I came was "Daughter of the Confederacy" and I don't think that's really my cup of tea....