Dating Troubles....Advice Needed

[helenabear]

I read through your posts here and I will also say give it some time. Relax & don't even think about what is there or isn't there when you are out together. Sometime that spark hides a bit... I know it did with me and one of my most serious b/f prior to my DH. And even with my DH it took a while to get there too (we were long distance, so it was different at first). Both within about 4-5 months there was an undeniable spark. With my husband it has never faded.

So give it time... see where it goes! And I think you are so smart not to get the little girl involved yet. That is really for the best I think! But you may find something amazing in this guy, or he could turn out being a good friend. No matter what, I'd still see where it may go

 

[Tuffcookie]

Snoopy wrote:

Mom always said its best to find a guy who loves you a little more than you love him...let me tell you how right she was.

Your mom was a very wise woman!!!

TC

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Snoopy wrote:

Mom always said its best to find a guy who loves you a little more than you love him...let me tell you how right she was.

Your mom was a very wise woman!!!

TC

I agree. I've heard it as "In every relationship, one person loves the other more. Don't be that person."

 

[SDFgirl]

You know, you could have been me 8 years ago. When I was 20, I started dating a very successful, nice, and considerate 30-year-old. But, there was no spark, and I couldn't force it. I felt badly about ending things, but I didn't want to settle. And, it's not fair to the guy either.

Spark is very, very important. Now I'm engaged to a wonderful, caring man - AND THE SPARK IS THERE! It's what makes me want to rush into his arms after a long day, what keeps us laughing, what still makes my heart flip-flop when I miss him. Trust me, it's worth waiting for. Be confident about your feelings! You're feeling them for a reason.

 

[pattyT]

I've read enough offensive things from you today, but this one I can't sit back and zip my lip about. It hits home. Obviously, he LOVES this child and that's why he adopted her. A man wouldn't have done that otherwise. I don't know this man or the OP, but it takes a MAN to do what he did for that little girl. I applaud him for what he did. There are far too many biological parents who are deadbeats. Your response has nothing to do with what the OP is asking.


Greenskyp, if there is no "spark" I would be hesitant to get more involved with him, especially with a child involved. If the spark "just isn't there", it may never be there and you may regret it one day.

GO GIRL!
I am sooo with you on that one!
if only you knew!

Now back to the regularly schedualed thread-
I think spark to some degree is a must - it may fade , but it usually ccomes back when you least expect it...
as for the love someone who loves you more crap - yup I think its just that - crap -
the ones who loved me more than I loved then DROVE ME NUTS... they tried to hard, pushed me away...
I think you need to relax, keep your options open , have fun, and see what happens... or doesn't happen...

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

GO GIRL!
I am sooo with you on that one!
if only you knew!

Now back to the regularly schedualed thread-
I think spark to some degree is a must - it may fade , but it usually ccomes back when you least expect it...
as for the love someone who loves you more crap - yup I think its just that - crap -
the ones who loved me more than I loved then DROVE ME NUTS... they tried to hard, pushed me away...
I think you need to relax, keep your options open , have fun, and see what happens... or doesn't happen...

Well, it's supposed to be "slightly" more. Not "drive by your house to make sure you're really there" more.

 

[erinz]

I REALLY recommend that you don't even worry about whether this is 'The Guy". Just enjoy the good things in the relaionship and don't feel like there is ANY need to decide one way or another about a long term comittment.

I would find some books about relationships, and how to know if "He's the One". There are some good ones out there.

And if I can sound like an old person who thinks she has good advice......The longer you are single and work on finding out who you are, and what is truely important to you, the better the chance will be that whoever you eventually pick will truely be the right one.

Ok, I'm done.....

Good Luck!

 

[chell]

No advice here, sorry. Take it slow and see what happens.

Now that I'm ready to head out into the dating world maybe you can give me some tips too.

 

[Caradana]

Keep dating whomever you want - don't date him exclusively. The spark is out there. Make yourself available to find it. In the meanwhile, have fun.

 

[Pop Daddy]

dump him, he is gay

 

[weaselboy]

dump him, he is gay

do you want to be her boyfriend, papdaddy? what a sweetums!

 

[greenyskp]

do you want to be her boyfriend, papdaddy? what a sweetums!

Popdaddy can be my Disboards Boyfriend any day!!!

 

[snoopy]

Well, it's supposed to be "slightly" more. Not "drive by your house to make sure you're really there" more.

LOL, exactly!

As I said earlier, women are by nature more nurturing and lovey. If you find a guy who loves you ever so slightly more than you love him, you're good to go, trust me. When all is said and done, it evens out perfectly.

Now on the other hand, if you the female are the one who loves the guy a little too much, you are gonna find yourself fetching for him once he realizes he has the upper hand. Mark my words.

Let the flames begin.

(of course I should add that some women live to fetch for men. I'm not one of them, so take the advice with that in mind. I'm not interested in being anyone's maid or dormat! But I'll be his queen, thank you kindly. )

 

[Pop Daddy]

Popdaddy can be my Disboards Boyfriend any day!!!

and when I kiss you, your gonna feel it

 

[greenyskp]

Now on the other hand, if you the female are the one who loves the guy a little too much, you are gonna find yourself fetching for him once he realizes he has the upper hand. Mark my words.

This was me in my last relationship. I fully agree. I got manipulated worse than I ever thought it could be done.

 

[greenyskp]

and when I kiss you, your gonna feel it

I need a cold shower now.

 

[popeyeohoh]

He sounds very much like every guy my sister has dated in the last 15 years. Never married one though. I wonder what she thought was missing. I always think they are gay. When I think about the guys she dates one thought pops in my mind "Be careful of what you wish for"

 

[Caradana]

LOL, exactly!

As I said earlier, women are by nature more nurturing and lovey. If you find a guy who loves you ever so slightly more than you love him, you're good to go, trust me. When all is said and done, it evens out perfectly.

Now on the other hand, if you the female are the one who loves the guy a little too much, you are gonna find yourself fetching for him once he realizes he has the upper hand. Mark my words.

Let the flames begin.

Truer words have never been said! Many women have enjoyed long marriages where they feel a warm sense of like and comraderie, if not classical romantic love. But men need to love you and think you are the goddess of civilization for the whole marriage thing to work. Think about your friends and their husbands - we all know the guys who obviously show all the love that they feel in their eyes.

 

[Keli]

LOL, exactly!

As I said earlier, women are by nature more nurturing and lovey. If you find a guy who loves you ever so slightly more than you love him, you're good to go, trust me. When all is said and done, it evens out perfectly.

Now on the other hand, if you the female are the one who loves the guy a little too much, you are gonna find yourself fetching for him once he realizes he has the upper hand. Mark my words.

Let the flames begin.

(of course I should add that some women live to fetch for men. I'm not one of them, so take the advice with that in mind. I'm not interested in being anyone's maid or dormat! But I'll be his queen, thank you kindly. )

You know what's the funniest part about guys that feel this way about their wives? You can't always tell from looking at the wives what makes them so special to their husbands. I love it when I see an apparently ordinary woman with a clearly facinated husband.

 

[greenyskp]

You know what's the funniest part about guys that feel this way about their wives? You can't always tell from looking at the wives what makes them so special to their husbands. I love it when I see an apparently ordinary woman with a clearly facinated husband.

heeeeey... are you trying to say im ordinary looking? Cuz the pic in my sig is for hilarity, not hotness. lol