Dating question: Is it weird or creepy to ask someone out at a public place like the local gym or grocery store?

[GreatLakes]

I asked because there is more of second guessing now in dating I think due to the movement. Not that what the movement is promoting is a bad thing (most on here would agree with it entirely). But when on a date in today’s world, what was seen as classic genuine romantic gestures (ex. putting an arm around the date’s shoulder when sitting in a movie theater), are going to happen a lot less sporadically due to fear of a law suit.

I'm trying to think of a scenario where putting your arm around someone in a movie theater would get you sued. Assuming you are able to read social queues I think you'll have a reasonable understanding when to try something like putting your arm around someone or going in for a goodnight kiss along with the ability to read a reaction if you overstepped. This was always the case though, if you can't read social queues you'll end up being through of as a creep and won't get second dates.

 

[Buzz Rules]

I'm trying to think of a scenario where putting your arm around someone in a movie theater would get you sued. Assuming you are able to read social queues I think you'll have a reasonable understanding when to try something like putting your arm around someone or going in for a goodnight kiss along with the ability to read a reaction if you overstepped. This was always the case though, if you can't read social queues you'll end up being through of as a creep and won't get second dates.

What I’m trying to say is that things that people used to think were little things not thought of much in the past compared to today. I know my example is a little extreme but it was the first I thought of. I agree with your point though.

 

[disneychrista]

If I were currently dating, I'd be concerned about misreading the signs, and the woman deciding a "no" is not enough (even though I listened and obeyed) and deciding to cause problems. Yes, it can happen and did to someone I know.

Yes, I know you (general) are supposed to ask about every step...
Can I hold your hand?
Can I put my hand on the small of your back?
Can I kiss you?
Can I put my hand on your thigh?
Can I put my hand... etc, etc, etc.

I can't picture a bigger mood killer.

There was a scene in Picket Fences (ended in '95?) that showcased that. I think it was Picket Fences, I just rewatched the series a month or so ago. I can't find a clip unfortunately.

I don't know of anyone who goes to this extreme in getting "consent." I think that is a bit excessive.

 

[Jangles]

@Buzz Rules , if you have Netflix watch 23 walks! You may have to buy a dog.

 

[Buzz Rules]

@Buzz Rules , if you have Netflix watch 23 walks! You may have to buy a dog.

Then you might still end up with the dog instead of the girl:

 

[Buzz Rules]

Bump.

 

[clappyclaps]

To answer the original question, like others have said I don't think its weird to ask someone out in a public place as long as its done as part of an initial conversation. As someone who has spent far too long on dating apps and hates them with a passion, I'd love to get asked out in person like this!

 

[disneychrista]

To answer the original question, like others have said I don't think its weird to ask someone out in a public place as long as its done as part of an initial conversation. As someone who has spent far too long on dating apps and hates them with a passion, I'd love to get asked out in person like this!

I agree! I’m taking an extended break from dating apps and may never go back to them. This is the first summer in 4 years that I simply don’t have the urge to get back on and try again.

 

[TiggerTrigger]

GYM

While it's perfectly normal to have a gym crush, and there may be a certain amount of staring and common courtesies extended if you're in the gym together at the same time, most people I know are iffy on actually pursuing gym people. If you're a gym regular, to the point that you have a crush that you see often, getting involved with them and having things go bad could lead to really miserable gym time for the future. It's kind of like dating someone at work. Still, it's a fun place for eye candy.

GROCERY STORE

This one is less problematic since I don't shop as often as I gym and my timing for store visits is far less consistent. There's also online ordering and other nearby stores that are just as easy if I really wanted to lay low and avoid it for a while. Not that I've ever dated anyone that's approached me at the market, but I find men are far more bold in this setting. Not that I'm looking, but I think I shocked a guy the other day when he started talking to me about eggs and I actually responded... as if he was floored that I was willing to converse with him.