Custodial parent question???

[Shannon1984]

Hi, I will be cruising in September and am worried I may be refused from the ship because I don't have a letter from my 3 year olds father. I have the birth certifacate without his name on it because after his name was added I never picked up the new one. I don't know where he is so I wouldn't be able to get a letter from him. We have never went to court for custody and have never been maried. Can anyone tell me if they will let us on the ship? when I called they said I'd be fine but I'm still worried. Someone please help!! Thank you.

 

[Aurora's Mommy]

If they told you it was fine, I wouldn't worry about it, but just to be safe, you might want to get him a passport. As a minor, you would have to take him to a passport acceptance place, and when you do, you will have to prove your relationship to the child. My DH and I will have to take my kids together, but if he couldn't make it, I would have to have a notarized letter indicating that getting passports for the kids was alright by him. As a single parent, if I am reading the passport website correctly, you would have a show proof of sole custody, like a certified birth certificate with only your name on it (and you have that, right?). You may want to check the passport website (I don't have the address handy, but I typed "u.s. passport" into a search engine, and found it easily).

I know that the rules for getting passports for kids has been tightened up because of the fear of people leaving the country with the kids due to custody issues, so if the passport official would take the application, and a passport is issued, I doubt DCL would refuse boarding.

Have fun!

P.S. It takes at least 6 weeks to get the passport, so if you want to go this route, and you are going in September, you may want to do it soon!

 

[crisi]

You need to call a family attorney and get some advice. This could be a much bigger deal than not letting you on a cruise ship.

 

[Cruise04]

I agree about calling an attorney. I have custody of my daughter and had a letter as well as a passport (that was harder than worrying about getting on the ship). I was never asked for the letter (and our last names are different). But, some airlines are getting trickier and trickier about this kind of stuff and it also depends what country you are cruising into also. Talk to an attorney just to be safe.

 

[littleclover]

According to the passport rules, if there is only one parent listed on the birth certificate then you are fine. I have a friend who recently picked one up for her DS and there was no problem since she was the only one listed. Since my DS's bc has his father listed then I got the passport form notarized with a signature.

 

[aprilgail2]

I have only my name listed on my daughters B/C and never had trouble cruising, flying etc....my friend sailed with me and she had her daughters fathers name on the childs birth cert and they never questioned her about where he was and she never needed notes of any kind (he had passed away anyway so there were no notes to be gotten from him!)

 

[Rence]

You really really really need to go to court and get sole custody. Not just for this trip, but for everything that lies ahead. You are the sole parent for your child, you have have this legally established.

 

[littleclover]

You really really really need to go to court and get sole custody. Not just for this trip, but for everything that lies ahead. You are the sole parent for your child, you have have this legally established.

This is not completely accurate in all states. I left my ex boyfriend when my son was 15 months old. I talked to a lawyer and was advised I do not need to do anything unless my ex brought this up in court prior to my DS turning 2, then he would lose all custodial rights. Flash forward to my DS turning 5 and in Kindergarten, I found out my ex was on disablility I called Social Security and within 1 month I now received child support until my DS turns 18.

Sometimes it is in the best interest of the child and other parent to leave well enough alone. I am sole custodial parent since I did not marry and my ex never claimed custody in court.

this is only MY example for Illinois, may not be true in other states.

 

[crisi]

Which is why she should call an attorney and make sure to get good advice for her state.

The official birth certificate apparently does have the birth father's name on it, she just has a copy from before that was added.

I have a friend who's mother just died. His minor half brother may end up in the custody of his bio father - who he hasn't seen for years, and who wants the kid primarily (according to my friend) because he gets access to the kids social security checks from Mom dying. The two adult half siblings are going to fight it and will probably win (the kid is old enough that his input will count), but its going to be expensive. Had mom bothered to file for sole custody when he was little (and leave a will giving custody to his adult siblings) there would be much less of a problem.

 

[Memaw2Wm]

If you're worried about the expensive of talking to an attorney call (or visit) your county courthouse and ask for the juvenile welfare department ... one of the clerks should be able to assist you in obtaining a custody order.

You'll probably have to file a petition, then place a legal ad notifying the father that you are petitioning the court for sole custody, then obtain a judge's signature on a custody order.

 

[logan1_2000]

And I'm not admitted in your state and there is no retainer agreement between us and therefore no attorney client relationship therefore nothing I say here is legal advise and you may not come after me for malpractice. Whew--aren't disclaimers bothersome?

While issuance of passports is a Federal matter, custody is a state matter and is governed by state law, which may vary greatly state to state. You need to find someone reliable to answer some basic questions about your own state. You should do so before making any decisions about what you do or do not need to do for various purposes. And in some states the answer may be a matter of statute, and in some it may be a matter of caselaw.

I do interpret the example here of someone who delayed certain steps and then lo and behold the child gets disability payments because of the estranged father's accident to be an example of fluke, random luck (or bad luck if you are the disabled person in that fact pattern), but sometimes stuff happens.

Good luck in getting through the process smoothly, not just for the sake of the cruise, either.

 

[kcashner]

I am a single mom and am the only parent named on my 14 year old's birth certificate. We have sailed on the Magic 12 times with no problems at all. The first time, I was prepared for questions, etc. None were ever asked.


Since my daughter is adopted, her birth certificate looks a little strange--there is no hospital of birth or city of birth listed, no father, etc. Never had any questions raised by DCL.

 

[clten]

The only thing I want to add here is that the destination may make a difference. Mexico is always tougher with a child traveling with one parent than most Caribbean islands. You don't mention if you are just doing Bahamas, Eastern or Western Caribbean. The people who mentioned they didn't have problems didn't mention where they sailed either. Just thought I would add my 2 cents.

 

[poconoboatniks]

Here's my 2 cents. The laws concerning travel abroad are changing and are being phased in over the next couple of years. I read somewhere on the boards that by 2007 everyone will need a passport to go out of and back into this country. This means that you will even need a passport to go to Canada. What has happened in the past will no longer be the case for those traveling in the next year or so. An attorney who specializes in child custody law should be able to answer your questions.

 

[Shannon1984]

Thank you everyone for your advice. I am going to take her father for custody. I was just hoping to wait until after the cruise so I didn't get stuck not being able to go. They told me it would take 4-6 months before I would even be able to get a court date. I just hope they will let me on the ship. I am just going on a 4 day and we're only going to Nasau so I don't think it should be a problem. Thanks again for all your advice.