Coworker confusion

[Sphyrna]

Update:

So I had been thinking about it this week. I also got advice from my best friend. After thinking about it I decided for now talking is all I'm going to do with him. And not talking about us, but about what he's feeling, thinking, etc. Today was the first day this week we were both at work. Having not seen him since Friday my initial reaction was to throw the plan of talking out the window and follow Wally's advice! Mmmm he looked good!! But I'm trying to be responsible here. I wanted to find out if he wanted to talk. Talking about this stuff isn't something I want to do at work, but at least wanted to find out if he wanted to talk about it.

The first time I tried talking during a smoke break I didn't get the chance to say much more than he shocked the **** out of me and has had my head spinning. Later in the day I asked him if he wanted to have a talk about it. He started saying how he thinks it'd be weird for us. I stopped him and clarified I don't mean having a talk about us, but about what he's thinking, feeling, why, etc. He said he didn't really want to talk about it. I let him know that I'm here if he does need or want to talk about it. I also explained that any talk about "us" would come after a really long talk.

So I think we're just going to leave things where they are. I think I did a good job of handling the situation, especially given my feelings. In a way I'm kind of relieved he's not interested in talking more about it. I don't have to worry about what would happen or not happen. Plus, like I emailed my best friend this morning telling him I'm only going to talk to my coworker at this point...sometimes fantasies are better left as fantasies, as the reality can be quite different!

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Kind of like group travel? You think it will be all magical and fun and by the end you are twitchy and borderline homicidal. Yes, some fantasies are better left unfulfilled.

 

[wallyb]

I still say - Peel him like a grape!

 

[Sphyrna]

Kind of like group travel? You think it will be all magical and fun and by the end you are twitchy and borderline homicidal. Yes, some fantasies are better left unfulfilled.

If I did decide to do something, would I need to sit down with him and come up with a spreadsheet of what we can do, when to do it, and where?

 

[wallyb]

If I did decide to do something, would I need to sit down with him and come up with a spreadsheet of what we can do, when to do it, and where?

I'm thinking spread and sheets may in fact be involved.

 

[Sassagoula Billy]

As Olympia Dukakis's character Rose says in Moonstruck, "Don't crap where you eat." Not that the other posters haven't already stated as such. But it just packs more of a wallop.

I hope everything works out well, and it sounds from your update like it will. Gay, straight, whatever your orientation, dating at work is the riskiest of territory. If things work out, great. But think of facing him everyday if they didn't. Sure, you'd get over it, but it'd be a nightmare.

 

[Sphyrna]

Well even though we work in the same department, we're on separate teams. He's on the web team and I'm on the hardware/network team. So we don't have to interact for work too much. If things did happen and went south the only thing I'd lose is my hang out/smoking buddy. And although he's my best friend at work, we don't hang out outside of work. So it's not like a close friendship to lose.

I was really depressed last night. I'm not sure if it's b/c of this or just coincidence. Perhaps it's the thought of losing some potential fun or something more? But I think it was just a fluke feeling, as tonight I'm fine.

 

[colaboy29]

I'm thinking spread and sheets may in fact be involved.

I hope he will Excel at the chance if it ever arises.