Couple kicked off of airplane for this:

[GAIL HAYDEN]

Originally posted by CEDmom
Ok, I thought a lot about this last night and even told my very levelheaded DH the story. He said if this happened to us he'd sue. His response surprised me because he doesn't respond to most things like that.

Anyway, I tried to imagine the scenario that these people really were abducting a child and the more I thought about it the more ridiculous it became to me. Seriously, what child abductors are going to get on a plane with the child? They just aren't going to risk having that many witnesses or being trapped if the child does make others aware of the situation. Most child abductions are the result of a custody dispute and involve the non-custodial parent. Stranger abductions, while they do happen, are quite rare. In incidences of stranger abductions unfortunately the child is usually molested and then killed not taken on a plane.

I can't say what happened was blatantly racist but it sure was ignorant. For people to just assume something sinister was happening because the child didn't look like the parents and was crying mommy, mommy while trying to get away is over the top IMHO.

Many posters said their children never did anything like this. Well, imagine this scenario. You and your DH get on a plane with your under 2 yo lap baby (I believe this child was actually under 2 or she would have been in a carseat and not held) and your child doesn't want to be held. You tighten your gripe while she tries to wiggle out of your arms. She starts to cry she wants to say mommy let go, mommy I want down, mommy you're holding me too tight. However she's under 2 and has a limited vocabulary so all that comes out whiles she's cry and struggling is mommy, mommy, mommy.

If you still honestly think what happened is perfectly ok then I hope you're prepared to be taken off a plane and interrogated when your child start to fuss even if he is a dead ringer for you.

I would have no problem with it, and would truly be happy they cared enough, just in case.
As to your thinking it absurd to abduct a child and take he/she on a plane, that is your right, but, I don't think it absurd in the least.
People who abduct children are not really the most level headed individuals and it would not be absurd to think they would do something stupid.

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

Originally posted by palmtreegirl
I agree I think it was racism.

Racism against whom? The child or the parents?

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

Originally posted by CEDmom
I sincerely believe the situation would have been ignored or handled completely differently if the parents and child were all blond and blue eyed. As for never having a child cry mommy when mommy was holding her my DD has done it. She didn't want to be held and was trying to say "mommy put me down" but all she could come up with because of her age and language skills at the time was mommy, mommy.

My opinion on this matter is the area they were flying from is not what I'd consider ethnically diverse. I bet the family got a lot of stares and attention. It's happened to us many times. I'm not going to go so far and say this was racially motivated. It was however motivated by ignorance.

I would like to believe that the child was the where the concern was focused.
I am not going for the "if they were blond blue eyed" thing in the least.
I would imagine the flight crew was "ethnically diverse" and alarmed enough to take action. The fact that the child is Asian and the parents are not means nothing IMHO. The fact that the kid appeared to be in distress is the key here.
There are very few areas in this country that have not heard of interracial adoptions and of many abductions.
I don't believe it was racially motivated, motivated by ignorance in the least, there was concern. Enough concern for authorities to be called in.

 

[tiggersmom2]

I think it was concern pure and simple. I've got a story for you. I was 16 and I went with my boyfriend and his best friend to PA. While we were there they visited a martial arts shop and bought a bunch of martial arts weapons and handcuffs. Well, my boyfriend was pulled over for speeding in PA and the officer noted these items, he also noted that I was a very young girl with two older boys. He pulled me out of the car and asked me if I was OK. The two guys started getting very belligerent and loud. He hand cuffed them both and threw them in the back of his car. He then came back to me and INSISTED I give him a home phone number so he could talk to my parents. When he found out everything was OK he uncuffed them and let us go on our way. I have always wished I got this officer's name - he went above and beyond the call of duty - he was looking out for MY best interest and I will be forever grateful. Even though it was a perfectly benign situation it was so nice to know there was a caring person out there looking out for me.

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

Originally posted by tiggersmom2
I think it was concern pure and simple. I've got a story for you. I was 16 and I went with my boyfriend and his best friend to PA. While we were there they visited a martial arts shop and bought a bunch of martial arts weapons and handcuffs. Well, my boyfriend was pulled over for speeding in PA and the officer noted these items, he also noted that I was a very young girl with two older boys. He pulled me out of the car and asked me if I was OK. The two guys started getting very belligerent and loud. He hand cuffed them both and threw them in the back of his car. He then came back to me and INSISTED I give him a home phone number so he could talk to my parents. When he found out everything was OK he uncuffed them and let us go on our way. I have always wished I got this officer's name - he went above and beyond the call of duty - he was looking out for MY best interest and I will be forever grateful. Even though it was a perfectly benign situation it was so nice to know there was a caring person out there looking out for me.

Thank you for sharing that story!!!!! There is simply NOT ENOUGH caring out there these days and when it is shown, there is a sue happy mentality and more often than not caring is turned into being stupid or the pull the "race card".

 

[CEDmom]

Originally posted by GAIL HAYDEN
Thank you for sharing that story!!!!! There is simply NOT ENOUGH caring out there these days and when it is shown, there is a sue happy mentality and more often than not caring is turned into being stupid or the pull the "race card".

Please don't assume because I think this situation was blown out of proportion and could have been handled better that I'm not a caring person. Believe me if I ever saw a child or anyone for that matter in trouble I would help in a second. Actually I have helped in situations in the past and will continue to.

However, I still stand by my position that people reacted the way they did because of the difference in race between the child and parents. This of course is based on the facts reported. If more information is ever available it may change the way I feel.

I don't profess to even begin to know what it feels like to be the victim of racism. However having a child of a different race has opened my eyes to how narrow minded and ignorant people can be and how they can jump to conclusions without all the facts. DH, DD and I will continue to travel with her passport and birth certificate so I can't actually imagine this happening to us. If it did even with this documentation you better believe we would pursue the matter.

 

[Keli]

I don't know about all this, maybe I'd have to have been there to really make up my mind on what happened and what everyone's motivations were but one thing keeps coming to mind for me...If that child had been truely kidnapped and later it was discovered that she threw an absolute fit on the plane calling for her mommy, well, people would have had plenty to say about the 'non-caring' people on that plane. It's a no win situation, if they investigated then their motives were racial and if they did not then they don't care about anyone but themselves. I feel really sorry for these people and this airline either way.

 

[C.Ann]

Originally posted by CEDmom
you better believe we would pursue the matter.

-------------------

Not trying to be argumentative here, really - but how would you PROVE that it was racially motivated? If you go back and read the original article it clearly states that it was not done because of the racial difference, but rather due to the fact that the baby was crying "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy" and trying to squirm away from the female holding the baby..

Unless the two people mentioned in the article came forward and said, "Yes - we were suspicious because the baby was of a different race" you wouldn't have a leg to stand on and it would simply be another lawsuit tying up the court system..

No one was hurt - the baby is safe - and to me, that equals a happy ending..

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

Originally posted by CEDmom
Please don't assume because I think this situation was blown out of proportion and could have been handled better that I'm not a caring person. Believe me if I ever saw a child or anyone for that matter in trouble I would help in a second. Actually I have helped in situations in the past and will continue to.

However, I still stand by my position that people reacted the way they did because of the difference in race between the child and parents. This of course is based on the facts reported. If more information is ever available it may change the way I feel.

I don't profess to even begin to know what it feels like to be the victim of racism. However having a child of a different race has opened my eyes to how narrow minded and ignorant people can be and how they can jump to conclusions without all the facts. DH, DD and I will continue to travel with her passport and birth certificate so I can't actually imagine this happening to us. If it did even with this documentation you better believe we would pursue the matter.

I was not referring to you in my post.

Your last paragraph was excellent and people are narrow minded and ignorant. I have been the victum of racism and it is not fun and Dee is constantly a victum of it. That is why I am ultra sensative to the "racism card" being pulled.

I cannot imagine this happening to you either, mainly because you are obviously prepared. IMHO, no one should travel without this information for their children, biological or not.

 

[emmagata]

Originally posted by GAIL HAYDEN
Imagine the outrage IF this child was abducted and nothing was done by the airline. It is obvious that they are in a lose/lose situation.
IMHO, always better to err on the side of caution. Racism, nah, I don't buy that, concern, definitely.
Any child trying to get away from someone and screaming Mommy, mommy, etc, while the female is holding them is going to get my attention.

MTE.

 

[CEDmom]

Originally posted by C.Ann
-------------------

Not trying to be argumentative here, really - but how would you PROVE that it was racially motivated? If you go back and read the original article it clearly states that it was not done because of the racial difference, but rather due to the fact that the baby was crying "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy" and trying to squirm away from the female holding the baby..

Unless the two people mentioned in the article came forward and said, "Yes - we were suspicious because the baby was of a different race" you wouldn't have a leg to stand on and it would simply be another lawsuit tying up the court system..

No one was hurt - the baby is safe - and to me, that equals a happy ending..

I don't want to be argumentative either. I guess my point all along is that unless you've been in a position where just by the nature of how you look you draw attention then maybe you don't understand where I'm coming from. My whole point here is that I think it wasn't just the child crying that drew attention I think attention was being drawn because of her being different than her parents. I can't begin to tell you the looks and whispered comments we've gotten in various parts of this country. Luckily DD is oblivious to it. It's one thing for people to know interracial families exist but it's a whole other issue when they actually see one. I think people were gawking at the family and when the baby started fussing they jumped to conclusions.

As far as pursuing the matter my point is that DH and I travel with documents showing DD is our child if airline personel still wanted to have us investigated after seeing these then DH and I would file a complaint. I don't necessarily mean we'd sue.

 

[CEDmom]

Originally posted by GAIL HAYDEN
I was not referring to you in my post.

Your last paragraph was excellent and people are narrow minded and ignorant. I have been the victum of racism and it is not fun and Dee is constantly a victum of it. That is why I am ultra sensative to the "racism card" being pulled.

I cannot imagine this happening to you either, mainly because you are obviously prepared. IMHO, no one should travel without this information for their children, biological or not.

Thanks Gail. Is Dee your husband? Is that a picture of you is your siggy? If so, you make a cute couple. If not, then some other people make a cute couple . I don't like when people use the race card either and I've never done so before in my life. I think because we could so easily be that family that I can really put myself in their shoes. I can feel the anger and humiliation and it just makes me crazy.

I think I'm done with this topic. I'm off to get DD's birth certificate and passport out for our Vegas trip this week.

 

[mtblujeans]

Originally posted by GAIL HAYDEN
Any child trying to get away from someone and screaming Mommy, mommy, etc, while the female is holding them is going to get my attention.

That was my thought. I would have concerns about that sight if I had been on the plane. That has nothing to do with the race of either the child or the parent. Just seems unusual!

 

[ripleysmom]

Is it possible that the reason that they are claiming that it was racial is that the parents were not caucasian?

 

[kellib36]

> Just imagine if..........<

Airport screeners are paid to observe and notice, NOT to imagine.

 

[arminnie]

Originally posted by ripleysmom
Is it possible that the reason that they are claiming that it was racial is that the parents were not caucasian?

The parents were caucasian. The child was of Chinese descent.

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

can't begin to tell you the looks and whispered comments we've gotten in various parts of this country.

take a look at the picture in my sig, bottom right. I have been tempted to ask people to borrow their camera so they could get a picture.
I have NOTHING but the most incredible admiration for you and your DH for adopting your beautiful child. It took guts, IMHO, with all the judgemental morons out there to do it.
It saddens me to see that people are so incredibly hung up on "it must be like me or it is not right" mind set.
My hope for you and your DD is that she never figures it out and she remains as blissfully happy as her picture shows her to be.
Having said that, I will, respectfully, disagree that it was driven by the fact that the child was not of the same "race" as the parents. I REALLY want to believe that someone actually cared about the child and it was driven by caring and concern. I will tell you, if it was driven by anything else I will not only admit I was wrong, but will be totally PO'd.

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

Originally posted by CEDmom
Thanks Gail. Is Dee your husband? Is that a picture of you is your siggy? If so, you make a cute couple. If not, then some other people make a cute couple . I don't like when people use the race card either and I've never done so before in my life. I think because we could so easily be that family that I can really put myself in their shoes. I can feel the anger and humiliation and it just makes me crazy.

I think I'm done with this topic. I'm off to get DD's birth certificate and passport out for our Vegas trip this week.

Nope, not my husband, but my s/o and we have been together for almost 9 years (met him, btw via online personals, lol). Thank you for the compliment, he is a great person and has taught me a bunch.

I can, btw, understand your position and like I said before, have NOTHING but admiration for you and you DH.

 

[Bojangles]

No one pays much attention to a screaming baby in a supermarket or most other public places. If this incident had happened almost anywhere else, I doubt if anyone would have batted an eyelash. On an airplane, everyone will be staring, criticizing, and probably wondering if this child will be crying during the entire flight.

 

[GAIL HAYDEN]

Originally posted by Bojangles
No one pays much attention to a screaming baby in a supermarket or most other public places. If this incident had happened almost anywhere else, I doubt if anyone would have batted an eyelash. On an airplane, everyone will be staring, criticizing, and probably wondering if this child will be crying during the entire flight.

I sure do pay attention to a screaming child......anywhere.

However, it is highly unlikely someone is going to take an abducted child shopping at WALMART or a grocery store, they are going to get them somewhere quickly, a shopping trip would definitely slow them down.