Could my DGS be autistic?

tazdev3225

<font color=darkorchid>I sucked my thumb up with t
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Apr 2, 2008
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I don't come over here to often but I am hoping some of you may have advice. My DGS is 5. He graduated from preschool today and it was a struggle to get him to this point. I am convinced he is on the autistic spectrum, as is my DS but my DIL is still fighting it. DGS refused to wear his little cap and gown or to walk with his class. As they sang the songs for the show performed he cringed in a corner with his hands over his ears and then just pulled his shirt over his head. This is not unusual he hates people singing. He doesn't always answer to his own name preferring to be somebody else. He has never liked being hugged or restrained. He was a premie and managed to get out of every type of swaddling blanket they put him in. He plays next to other kids not with them. I can read a melt down coming just by the look on his face. He was sent for Early Intervention who said he qualified for help but wouldn't say why. He starts kindergarten in the fall and I am really worried that he will fall through the cracks. DDIL today finally admitted there is something wrong but is afraid to find out what. Those of you with experience does this sound like autism and where do I point her for help? I want my little guy to get the help he needs.
 
It sounds like you're more realistic than your DIL. Try asking her this: If she thought her son had a disease like diabetes, would she take him to the doctor or avoid finding out what's wrong and let him get sicker? If he *is* on the autistic spectrum, she's missing out on a lot of opportunities to help him while he's still young. Getting a diagnosis doesn't *cause* autism (or any other disabilities)- it provides help for a disorder that already exists and isn't going away. If she wants her son to reach his potential, she needs to face the situation head-on. The alternative is possibly years of struggling to make it in a world that doesn't make sense to him. Please try to convince her to get him evaluated- since he's old enough for kindergarten in the fall, he can be evaluated for free by the local public school system (whether or not he'll be enrolled in public school).
 
I would suggest getting a copy of Tony Attwood’s “The complete guide to aspergers” C2007 available on Amazon for about $25 after you read it you will have an improved ability to help you DGS. Also when you are done give it to DIL and it you can encourage her to read it.

Your DGS is entering in the age where anxiety can become a critical issues it proper accommodations and supports are not in place, and this can lead to some debilitating maladaptive manifestations.

bookwormde
 
There are a wide variety of neurovariencies and it could be SID/SPD where people like my mother are hypersensitive to sounds, smells, or touch while others are undersensitive. It could be aspergers also. The problem is that a person can have many neurovariancies or have two that overlap.

It will take a diary to keep track of his behaviors even if they do not seem strange to you but are not normal. He needs evaluation also. Bookworm is the expert on that. There is normal 5-year-old behavior but when a child cannot stand singing and is cringing from the noise then there is a problem. Most kids have meltdowns or refuse to do things but when a child does it all the time or over reacts then you should be concerned.
 

Thank you all for your advice. I have realized for a long time that something is not quite right with my guy but his mom is blaming herself instead of thinking clearly. I did talk with his teacher briefly, she also taught my DD so a long history, and she is concerned if he doesn't get help soon. I know it's hard because my DS was ADD with a LD. I am trying to make her realize that it is better to be proactive not reactive. My DS and I did have a talk yesterday and I said I will go with her to the pediatrician to get a referral for a nerologist for testing and go with her for all appointments. A cooler head reacts better than an emotional mom. I want him to be successful too and with the right help he can be.
 
tazdev3225 big hugs to you and yes the earlier the better for proper therapy, education and training of the brain to think normally. My mother and I are examples of what happens when people do not get help. Early intervention means that the child gets the proper help and assistance. Also a lot of kids get slapped with labels that are wrong. A kid who is raving because of food reactions turns into an angel with a proper diet but is labeled ADD or ODD. ADD is the catch phrase for all chilrdren who do not behave normally even if that child is aspie or has something else wrong with it.

Be brave and boldly go forth fro the sake of your child.


hug
alurie
 
I don't come over here to often but I am hoping some of you may have advice. My DGS is 5. He graduated from preschool today and it was a struggle to get him to this point. I am convinced he is on the autistic spectrum, as is my DS but my DIL is still fighting it. DGS refused to wear his little cap and gown or to walk with his class. As they sang the songs for the show performed he cringed in a corner with his hands over his ears and then just pulled his shirt over his head. This is not unusual he hates people singing. He doesn't always answer to his own name preferring to be somebody else. He has never liked being hugged or restrained. He was a premie and managed to get out of every type of swaddling blanket they put him in. He plays next to other kids not with them. I can read a melt down coming just by the look on his face. He was sent for Early Intervention who said he qualified for help but wouldn't say why. He starts kindergarten in the fall and I am really worried that he will fall through the cracks. DDIL today finally admitted there is something wrong but is afraid to find out what. Those of you with experience does this sound like autism and where do I point her for help? I want my little guy to get the help he needs.

Everyone these days rushes to the ASD conclusion right away....it indeed might be something else, too. So be sure you get a GOOD diagnosis from somebody who has ALL diagnoses on the table and is experienced with an outstanding accuracy rate....not somebody who just stamps the ever-widening ASD label out to every kid he/she meets.

A book I like is The Mislabeld Child, by a pediatric neurologist in Washington and her internist husband. They go through all kinds of disabilities, what to do about them, and how to tell one disability from another, which they say unfortunately, too many people aren't doing these days.
 
Jodifa’s point is well taken. I am not sure that the situation is truly mislabeling or a system which promotes labeling without sufficient understanding and useful clinical underpinnings. This is a big reason why one of the best things you can do for your child is to become as educated about the intricacies of neurovariations that your child may have.

There are broad arrays of neurological variations that compromise the Autism spectrum. Sometimes they are completely benign or even beneficial. Sometimes an individual have only 1 or 2 or these variations but they create profound challenges. Others have a broad array which when in combinations create both challenges and gifts.

Real understanding and appropriate individual clinical and educational supports come from identifying each of the nerovariations and identifying the challenges and/or benefits that they present.

There are lots of people out there like Jodifa’s child who has neurovariations, which are part of the broader genetics, which are included in the set of autism spectrum genetics, but to label these children as Autistic/PDD-nos/Aspergers even if it might or might not be clinically “appropriate” does not really help the child without detailed information on the contributing genetic components and for those farther form the formal clinical definition can greatly distract for meeting the specific needs of that child. Yes in the broadest understanding of the science all of these individuals are somewhere “on the Autistic spectrum” but sometimes are better served by focusing on the specific variations, since so many poorly trained and informed clinicians and educators feel that there is some standard set of therapies and supports, which we all know is about as far from the true scientific understanding of Autism genetics as is possible.

Unfortunately since the much of the clinical, governmental, insurance and educational communities choose to only provide “support “ once an Autism diagnosis is in place (even poorly done ones which lack any significant documentation, recommendations or individual specifics as the neurovariations which contributed to the diagnosis). Clinicians and parents are often “stuck” with applying a diagnosis which it for the most part “useless” just to get “something” in the way of services. The good news is that NIH has a group working an best practices draft document that focuses on better and broader diagnostic procedures and including the individual genetic variations and their impact, findings and recommendations as an integral part of the diagnosis, of course this is the government we are talking about so it may be 5 year before it is finalized.

So for now the most important thing is to not accept a “label” diagnosis but to insist that the diagnosing clinician specify the underlying genetic variations and their impact and manifestations which are apparent form each of these and as additional ones are “found” (which is quite common) the they be formally added to the diagnosis. Without this the individualized therapies and supports that are so effective are often missed or underemphasized while unnecessary, ineffective and sometimes counterproductive therapies are done by well meaning but grossly undereducated clinicians and educators who do not have the skills and experience to differentiate the individual “pieces” themselves.

Like Jodifa sometimes if the parent is exceptionally well informed and does not need an Autism diagnosis to get services and/or if the autism genetic characteristics are limited and well enough defined you are far better of to avoid or not “stretch to” the formal diagnosis, if additional genetic characteristic become apparent as the child gets older, a high quality formal diagnosis can always be added.

Of course there is the “social semantics” of the autism spectrum which some will avoid at all cost despite the advancement of the scientific understanding over the past few year due to the stigma issues that those who are not informed as to the true nature of autism genetics still hold. This and the broad lack of competence by clinicians leaves many children with long term disabilities which they would otherwise overcome with targeted and effective therapies and supports, not to mentions the maladaptive manifestations that occur which lead to other clinically significant levels of anxiety, OCD and so forth.

bookwormde
 
Tazdev, welcome and :hug::hug: While we're giving you suggestions on books to read, I'd recommend "Understanding the Special Needs Child" by Stanley Greenspan. Another one is "The OUt of Sync Child" by Carol Kranowitz and Lucy Jane Miller. Try to get your doctor's appt ASAP!! It can be a lengthy wait to get into the specialist. Also, it sounds like he has lots of sensory issues. See if there are any summer camps in your area that can help with this.

There's an Occupational Therapist here who does summer camps to help kids manage sensory issues. She "plays" with the kids in small groups, and they do social skills therapy too.

My older dd has lots of sensory issues, but ironically, no ASD. Our younger dd who's 3 has ASD. She's gotten enormous help from her special ed preschool program. Would it be an option to delay Kindergarten for a year, and try to work with his sensory needs?

I'm a little worried, because although I love our school system overall, there's a gap in services for new kids at the beginning of the year. It can take a while for the various therapists in the school system (PT, OT, ST) to do an assessment, then an IEP to set up services. A child like your grandson might not receive actual services here until November, and that's a long time to go through kindergarten without accomodations and therapy.

Anyway, good for you for advocating for him!!
 
You are lucky you have access to CHOP. I'll email a group I am in to see if anyone can recommend a developmental neuropsychologist there. They can do IQ tests, autism spectrum diagnosis, other learning disability diagnosis'. The best thing now is to get help, therapy, etc. I am sure the mom is devastated and ALOT of things will go thru her mind; been there,done that. I'll get back to you about some doctors at CHOP.
 
Yes CHOP (Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia) has a good group for diagnosing neurological variations, while I would not put them at the to tier of centers in the country they are one of the best in the Philadelphia area. One thing to remember is that you will be working with a multidisciplinary group so being comfortable with the qualifications and experiance of all the clinicians involved is important.

bookwormde
 
Thank you all for the advice and book suggestions. I have some understanding of what we are looking at as I am a psychology major and have taken educational psychology courses. I also know that the sooner we know what we are dealing with, the better it is for him. My DIL is overwhelmed right now and is blaming herself. We are lucky that we have 2 excellent childrens hospitals here in Philly. Hopefully after I have read the books my DIL will read them and be a little calmer. She sees Ky's differences and just doesn't understand that it doesn't change who he is, we just have to work with who he is.
 
I live in the Philly area, and I really cannot say anything great about CHOP or St. Chris. My daughter has numerous medical issues, and we have been forced to take her all over the country for medical care because they are just clueless at CHOP. If he does indeed have autism, you might get a diagnosis out of them but not much else. I know of some excellent clinics in the area for sensory integration, speech, OT, PT, etc. PM me if you'd like some info.
 
Just wanted to offer words of encouragement.:grouphug:
I knew that DNephew10 was having troubles from the time he was very young, but nobody in my family wanted to hear it; especially not his parents or grandparents. They all thought I was just comparing him to his cousin (DS10) who was the same age. The poor little thing fell apart in K. Finally, people started listening. I guided them through the whole process. They got a diagnosis (SID) and I fought with them until we got him the help he needed. He is in 4th grade and doing extremely well.
Keep doing your research (I, too, recommend The Out of Sync Child for info. about SID) and keep being supportive. You will get there. :thumbsup2
 
Thank you all. I haven't really checked on here lately. I did get the book recommended and am giving it to my DIL. There was so much in there that sounded just like my little guy. It is hard on her because my DS has an older son with no problems. I also have a DGD the same age who is extremely bright. She compares my DGS to them and we have told her repeatedly that each kid is different, this is just Ky. She was thrilled that I did take pictures at his pre-school graduation because she realized later what she would have missed. She just needs to stop comparing him to what she thinks are perfect kids and realize that there is no such thing.
 












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