Controlling Peope

[MsDisney23]

Do you know anyone? Peopel like this drive me crazy, everything has to be there way or noway......

 

[DMRick]

Do you know anyone? Peopel like this drive me crazy, everything has to be there way or noway......

I have known a few in the past, but I just ignore them. Too full of their own self importance.

 

[JESW]

My SIL is one and that is why we don't have a relationship...

Jill

 

[scrapbookworm]

I know of someone who almost seems co-dependent upon her sister. It's odd at times how fixated she is on her sister's life. She's always trying to make her sister do this, do that, and of course the sister doesn't listen to her. But, some of the advice she is trying to shove down her throat is incorrect. She does that to me too, and will definitely let me know she is angry if I don't do what she tells me (heavy sighs, sulking, etc). She's given me the most bizarre suggestions, stuff that would cost me my job or damage my marriage. I filter out most of it.

I've told her that most people don't appreciate unsolicited advice, especially if it makes the person feel like an idiot. Sometimes you just have to let others fall flat on their face and not worry so much about what others do and don't do.

Of course she didn't appreciate the unsolicited advice that I was giving her, lol.

 

[Carly_Roach]

My SIL is one and that is why we don't have a relationship...

Jill

Ditto. I won't be around people who try to control me with P/A or other social engineering techniques. Life's too short to be playing a supporting role in someone else's movie.

 

[PelletierBears]

Ditto. I won't be around people who try to control me with P/A or other social engineering techniques. Life's too short to be playing a supporting role in someone else's movie.

ditto...ditto...ditto

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

I’ve known quite a few people who could be called “controlling.” I’m not usually bothered by that type as I’m usually very go with the flow. However, one in particular really makes me feel like this at times.

 

[starrzone]

I’ve known quite a few people who could be called “controlling.” I’m not usually bothered by that type as I’m usually very go with the flow. However, one in particular really makes me feel like this at times.

Yes, she's called my mother! What bugs the (not-DIS word) out of me is that if you don't take her advice, it means that you don't respect her, that no one EVER listens to her, etc...she's ALWAYS been this way and it drives me CRAZY!!!!!!!

 

[momtoprincess A]

Yes, she's called my mother! What bugs the (not-DIS) word out of me is that if you don't take your advice, it means that you don't respect her, that no one EVER listens to her, etc...she's ALWAYS been this way and it drives me CRAZY!!!!!!!

My husband is like this, and he's getting worse and worse the more I don't listen to him. I need to get a job so I can kick him out of the house. I'm so sick of living like this.
He reads self help books and phychology books all the time and tells me what I should be doing to fix myself.

 

[Stitchfans]

That is my ex husband and yes that is one of the big reasons he is now my EX. Our DD (my oldest of my two DDs) is almost 30 and he still controls her life. He continues to try to control mine and it irks him to no end that he no longer can.

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

you realize that most controlling people are empowered by the very people they are percieved to control?

I have had people attempt to do that, but I don't allow it.

and it dosn't really have to be confrontational.

just be a pirate!


(what is a "Peope?" heheheheheeee)

 

[Maridw]

That's the way my sister is. It is also why I have not been to visit her in years. Recently she basically called me a bad mother to my 23yo DD.

I just listen and nod when she tries to give me advice. Also my BFF is similar to this and I take things she says with a grain of salt and choose whether I want to follow the advice or not.

 

[momof1princess]

my aunt (dad's sister) was like this. it was her way, or the highway, no discussion. her daughter is just like her-already married and divorced twice-her stubbornness and refusal to compromise just drove away husband #2. i felt bad for him, he was a nice guy, but she just ground him down to nothing and he couldn't take any more.

 

[sunnyday123]

you realize that most controlling people are empowered by the very people they are percieved to control?

I have had people attempt to do that, but I don't allow it.

and it dosn't really have to be confrontational.

just be a pirate!


(what is a "Peope?" heheheheheeee)

Yes, my X-h, which is primarily why he is an x ( well, that and his refusal to stop dating after we were married) and a friend I had for about 20 years. Her constant need to be in control, tell everyone what to do, and subsequent temper tantrums led to the demise of that friendship. I honestly don't know why it lasted as long as it did.

Oh, and GP, I think a "Peope" is similar to a "people" but more controlling. And without rum.

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

Yes, my X-h, which is primarily why he is an x ( well, that and his refusal to stop dating after we were married) and a friend I had for about 20 years. Her constant need to be in control, tell everyone what to do, and subsequent temper tantrums led to the demise of that friendship. I honestly don't know why it lasted as long as it did.

Oh, and GP, I think a "Peope" is similar to a "people" but more controlling. And without rum.

thats rather small minded of you, don't you think? I mean, a guy HAS to maintain his social connections!

and the "Peope" comment came from an obscure reference of a movie called "forgetting Sarah marshall" there is a scene where the main character is asking about surfing lessons, and the head case behind the counter gives him a "hawaiian name" that sort of sounds like "peope"

 

[C.Ann]

Definitely.. Then the "controlling" turns into always having to "be right" - which then goes on to always having to "get the last word in" - which eventually ends up biting them in the butt.. It's all so unnecessary - it's kind of sad really..

Fortunately I'm now in the position where no one close to me - or anyone that I really care for - is controlling - or at least not with me.. All of the people I formerly had in my life who were of a controlling nature have been eliminated.. After giving them numerous chances to "back off", I eventually realized people like that rarely "want" to change, so it was a wasted effort on my part.. Life is too short to invest my time and energy in people like that - and it's certainly not healthy for my own well being.. My life is much more peaceful and stress-free now, so I would venture to say I made the "right" choice..

If you find that you have people like that in your life - and it's not crucial that you maintain a relationship with them - I would strongly suggest you cut all ties.. Life is much more pleasant without them..

 

[mamacatnv]

Self professed control freak checking in!

I grew up with a schizophrenic Mother who was abusive and a spineless father who hid from her and used my Bro and I as shields. Now that I am an adult I am very very careful about the types of situations I put myself and my family into.
My friends tell me that I do not try to control people, just situations.

I do a ton of volunteer work but am in charge of whatever it is I am doing.
I work for a small company where I am in charge of my office and the surrounding environment.
I have 2 kids and a DH who will all tell you that when Momma is happy everyone is happy.

We have a friend who we spent some extra time with recently and DH came to see what I have always known, she is high maintenance, manipulative, controlling and basically a 45 year old brat. He said to me, that while my family teases me about my issues the one thing they all know is that I don't demand they all sort me out, I sort out my own issues and take care of my needs myself.

I think most people have control issues of some sort, its how they manage them and what they do with those tendencies that make the difference. What the majority of you have descibed is manipulative people. I guess manipulative and controlling can be one in the same but I tend to view them very differently.

 

[VAN]

I'm also a controller! But don't worry, I have no interest in controlling most people I meet. Now I do like to try to keep control of my environment, my day, my bank account, my children, my home, etc. I try to keep control of my DH but it doesn't always work ... that's why I love him - he'll stand up to me and I respect that.

So call me controlling .... thank you for the compliment!!

 

[Piglet4Ever]

I have a family member by marriage like this. They like to make extensive lists and plans for everything. We don't live by them, but when we visit or take a vacation with them, we let eveyone know up front we are willing to go along with some of the plans but we will be doing our own thing too. Seems to solve the problem for us.

 

[Myothername]

My SIL. I can't stand this woman. She nearly killed her mother earlier this month with her controlling. My MIL was very ill and refused to take her to the doctor or the ER over the weekend. We are 6 hours away and could do nothing. SIL lives in another state and was home visiting and of course once they got her to the ER she skips town. We have a trip planned for August and I am so dreading it. But SIL will be spending all her time ferrying her drug addict son and loser husband back and forth to the airport (3 hours away) so hopefully we won't see her much. But I have already told my husband (it is his sister) that she is not dictating anything we do.