Consequences for bad behavior

[tiggerlover]

What kind of consequences (or punishments) do you give your kids for bad behavior?

 

[CBRorBust]

I don't have kids, but when I was in Jr. High the worst was having my phone taken away from me! UGH that was horrible!

In High School it was my car/going out that really made me tick.

But there are some kids that don't care about either. The trick is you have to find the root of their heart and rip it out cold turkey! LOL! Geez that sounds evil, but hey they never had to tell me twice.

 

[cosette24601]

consequences should relate to the behvior, if possible, and should only be as severe as the conduct warrants.

in our house, the primary reason the chores and homework weren't done is the computer. consequently, banishment form the computer is usually the consequence for failing to do what is expected.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

The trick is you have to find the root of their heart and rip it out cold turkey!

I like you CBR.
My favorite is scrubbing my kitchen floor. They work off the energy and I get a clean floor.


Around our house video games, the computer and tv are privaleges that you only get to enjoy when you are doing your "real" job adequately. So whenever grades slip....those are taken away until the grades are back up. I really don't view that as a punishment however....just that they haven't earned the right.

If they are incredibly messy around the house....I'll clean up after them during the day and present them with a bill for my time and effort that evening....they have to pay me from their allowance. That seems to work fairly well.

My oldest two now are old enough that if they misbehave in a restaurant or the mall or whatever they are just told to go wait in the car until the rest of the family finishes. Most often they don't even get a warning -- just "Go to the car, I'll bring your food out when we're done."

 

[preshi]

We've been taking things away for bad behavior. You throw the puzzle peices, the puzzle gets taken away. You wont stay in your room at bedtime, a privlege for the next day gets taken away. That usually solves things quickly.

 

[delikado]

Originally posted by Toby'sFriend
If they are incredibly messy around the house....I'll clean up after them during the day and present them with a bill for my time and effort that evening....they have to pay me from their allowance. That seems to work fairly well.

That is awesome! Definitely something to keep in mind when I have critters of my own!

 

[tiggerlover]

Thanks for your responses. I especially like Toby's friend's idea about presenting a bill to the kids, that one had me LOL.

Since Christmas break DS (7) has been having a little difficulty with following the rules and he has been trying to struggle for power lately. (He is an only child and just doesn't realize he is only 7-1/2). Anyway, his teacher has suggested making a list of actions with the consequences that will result if he doesn't follow the rules (ie - we tell him to go to bed at 8, he resists or pleads to stay up, the following night he will go to bed at 7:45). I am looking for some consequences for talking back and not doing what he is told to do and would love some idea's.

 

[Lewski709]

In addition to beating them senseless?

 

[C.Ann]

Writing "I will not talk back" a certain number of times..

Not only do they have to write it, but they have to "think" about it in order to get it down on paper.. Kind of learning by"rote" if you will..

 

[DemonLlama]

For talking back, I think you need to look at what your DS really cares about, and explain that his respect for his parents, teachers, etc. is as important as those things that he loves, so that when he talks back, he forfeits one of those things.

This has to be individualized to each child, but if you can find a number of them, write them down in a list, and link each one to either the severity of the back talking, or the frequency, it could work. Putting things on poster board on the fridge works as a constant reminder around our house.

On the flip side, you might want to create a poster to reward him when he shows respect and responds/answers "correctly" (depending on the situation). You can award stars on the poster for each one, and work out a larger reward (ice cream or a trip to a favorite place, maybe) when he's earned, say, 50 stars. This will reinforce good behavior, rather than only focusing on the bad. If this is going on at school, you might want to take a sheet to school for the teacher to record "stars" and "minuses" to record at home.

 

[FreshTressa]

If we are out, they go to bed for 5 minutes for first reminder, add 10 minutes for second, add 20 minutes for third, rest of night if it hits a fourth. This has only happened once.

They lose toys, gameboy, TV, outings etc. depending on what I feel is most appropriate at the time.

We don't have to do consequences a lot. I have tried to teach my kids a lot about making good choices, and they seem to do a pretty good job. I think phrasing things like a choice helps a lot, at least for us.

 

[Pam]

Debbi,
From your last post - it seems like you are on the right track.

I do know from experience that taking away privileges has always worked best for my two - are now 18 and 15. Going to bed early, losing computer/XBox time, being grounded and not allowed to go to the movies, playdates, etc. worked gret when they were younger.

 

[tiggerlover]

Some great ideas, thanks. His teacher said that in 3rd grade kids start trying to be more assertive and since DS is in a 2/3 combo class this year he is just asserting a little early. I am confident with the proper actions we will get this under control because he is a good kid. It is just another one of those stages that we have to make it through.

 

[Pop Daddy]

Im an old fassion spanking guy as long as the kids are still young

 

[dianeschlicht]

It depended on which kid it was. Our DD loved to go to her room, so that was no punishment for her. She hated the loft over our living room, so that was her punishment spot. DS hated to go to his room, so that was his. As they got older, taking away a priveledge was the ticket. DS got grounded from the phone sometimes too.