Confused. :(

Discussion in 'Coping and Compassion' started by Luv0fDisney, Feb 10, 2018.

  1. Luv0fDisney

    Luv0fDisney DIS Veteran

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    Hi, (again). I'm confused more and more as each day goes by.
    I feel like a 3rd person in life altogether like the sky is not really blue but green for me. I feel stiff inside and don't know what I'm supposed to feel or what I"m supposed to think about.

    I was watching a talk show on youtube with Tom selleck on it and he was talking about his anniversary about how he was in NYC and his wife was in CA with HER dogs. They are married for 30 so years and the dogs are "HERS?" I thought if you were married for 30 years the dogs would be "their's" or "ours."

    I don't have any connection w/ anyone and don't feel 'Normal." I went to the dr's and I feel like no one is really listening to me. I feel like I literally gone crazy. I don't feel anything... Never tired, never hungry, never thirsty. Like I"m alone and everyone is against me. :( Every time we have a conversation it feels like everyone takes the other person's side. :(.

    I feel like I'm blind because i can see but I don't experiance anything like I don't trust what I see, and don't trust my own instincts. :(. I feel like nothing registers and everything goes in one ear out the other. Like today at dinner. I was feeling nothing but apparently my dad was saying I was in a bad mood. I wasn't in a bad mood.

    Everytime i bring something up to my parents, my dad gets mad and always tells me to get a job, and my mom "shh's" me. :(. I don't know what to do anymore. People who don't know me, says "that doesn't sound like you," like they actually know who i am. I don't know who I am, let alone other people do?

    I don't feel emotions any more. Like Someone could die and I wouldn't care. All I hear is people complaining about stuff. I just don't understand.
     
  2. Luv0fDisney

    Luv0fDisney DIS Veteran

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    I can't make any decision's because I don't know what the out come will be. I don't talk because I feel like my brain doesn't know any words. Like my mind is blank 100% of the time and don't know HOW to respond to simple questions.

    I just don't know how to view people any more. Like my parents I just see two people. I don't have any connections like I used to. Also watching television... i just see people move across the screen, like there's no story line. :(
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2018
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  4. Queen of the WDW Scene

    Queen of the WDW Scene DIS Veteran

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    My suggestion would be to walk i9nto a hospital and tell them this and they will listen and they will help you in whatever way they can. They would have the resources and understand what you're going through more than the average person.
     
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  5. Luv0fDisney

    Luv0fDisney DIS Veteran

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    i don't know. :( i'm thinking of going back to the doctor's one more time and seeing if i'm depressed and seeing if they can prescribe anything. :( I just don't know who i am any more and I know there's no "Magical Pill."
     
  6. Tigerlulu

    Tigerlulu DIS Veteran

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    I can’t help you specifically but I’ve worked extensively in the mental health field and it sounds to me like you may have clinical depression.

    Couple of things—go to your PCP. They will either prescribe you something themselves or refer you to a psychiatrist who will handle your meds. Also find a LPC—a licensed professional counselor. Someone who you can talk and counsel with.

    The good news is it’s very treatable and many people have felt like you do and have been able to get help and get better. And the fact that you are reaching out shows that you recognize that something is wrong and that you want to get better. That is step one!

    If your parents are not understanding or listening to you, try to reach out to someone else that you trust. Every bit of support you get helps.

    If you feel like you need immediate attention, please go to the ER or call 911. A hospital evaluation can be a good way to get a jump start on your treatment.

    If you need help affording therapy, there are several ways to handle that. First check your health insurance. They may cover it without you realizing it.
    Check into local resources for counseling that may be offered on a sliding scale—income level based. The amount you pay will be based on your income. Talk to your local NAMI office or sometimes the local United way will have a resource too. They may be able to point you towards a local non-profit counseling agency.

    Most importantly, please know that you are not alone. This is an actual condition and there is help. Many people suffer from this. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and it is treatable.

    In the meantime, google is your friend for ideas on what changes you can start to make that can help you.

    Hugs!
     
  7. Tigerlulu

    Tigerlulu DIS Veteran

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    Also, residential treatment does exist for depression. It’s always an option and there are some very good ones that are not typical mental health ward cliches. They are effective and spending 4-6 weeks in one can really help. Just another option if you feel it would be useful. Again, google is your friend for this. There is loads of information out there for them.
     
  8. mommasita

    mommasita DIS VETERAN Moderator

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    Sorry to read about your being so down and out again.

    I totally agree here with Tigerlulu. You mire than likely would be benefit from a specialist/Dr care.

    I need to bow out of this, due to personal reasons , please get help , it’s there and you are worth it
     
  9. Luv0fDisney

    Luv0fDisney DIS Veteran

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    I'm here... Checking in.
    I have started to take vitamins...Vitamins b6 b12...Vitamin D and Vitamin c. hoping that perhaps I'm just low on vitamins... if there is a deficiency I won't show any symptoms of improving until 90 days according to many websites. If I am not deficiency in anything it would mean I would be using the bathroom more often, which I'm not. I know i'm not eating healthy, although I've been making better choices when dining out, which is very often. Many times I'd get a drink at starbucks with a treat, or wendys. But instead of the bacon chicken sandwich I get the grilled chicken go wrap for the 4 for 4 dollar menu. I also eat at home.

    I just don't know what to expect any more. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel like as a human being. I miss the old me when I had passions...for Disney for example. Now I just don't care if I ever go back. I ache all the time. :( I go for daily walks just to do "something" to try to feel better. but nothing helps and the doctors all say the same thing. I don't know. Perhaps nothing is wrong w/ me and I'm just being "lazy" as my dad puts it. I'm scared, of the future..w/o my parents. I'm 31 years old and feel like I am still dependent on them. :(

    I just am....here. I see myself just as an item like only $$ wasted. :( It's more of a feeling that won't go away rather than anything else. :(
     
  10. Queen of the WDW Scene

    Queen of the WDW Scene DIS Veteran

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    This sounds more like a mental health related issue rather than physical.
    You may have a chemical imbalance.
    I would suggest telling your doctor about your emotions and they can refer you to a counselor.
    Thing is you won't get help until you can admit to yourself you need it.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2018

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