Come on Wishers, let's write a story!

[ZerasPride]

I saw this on another diet board I frequent and thought it was a cute idea for us Wishers.

How it works is that I'll start a story and each person gets to write 3 lines to contribue to our story. Keep on the topic - and please be CLEAN about it.

If two people post at the same time. The first response will be the one replied to - (so if this happens to you - please delete your last post and start over )

OK - LET'S GO HAVE SOME FUN!

The Adventures of Diet Dana

Diet Dana looks nervously at her Mickey countdown calendar. She realizes she has just 6 months, 20 days, 12 hours, 34 minutes and 2 seconds until her next Disney trip and she wants to lose 60 pounds. She decides to take one more stab at dieting so she can fit into her goofey bathing suit and gleefully slide down the new slide at Old Key West. So she decides to go on a diet, but which one? She decides to take a stab at them all. She first tries . . .

 

[thotfulspot]

... the Flamingo Diet, with which she can eat anything she wants, as long as she balances on one leg while eating. She didn't have problems with munching on her salad, but the results of her lunchtime chicken soup were frankly embarrassing, as well as extremely messy. 'Forget this one,' Diet Dana thought to herself. 'Next, I'll try ...'

 

[MelanieC]

The Cabbage Diet, after all Rabbit likes cabbage and well if he can stay so fit and thin eating carrots and cabbage all day well so can she. But on the second day she tires of eating cabbage all the time. She also feels she has gained some weight and confirms it while she steps aboard her scale that is covered with stickers of Disney Characters that she has collected from past trips. She has confirmed that she is up a pound and while she knows its probably just that she is bloated from eating too much cabbage, she hops down happily knowing that this wasn't the diet for her. After all, no one diet is right for everyone. Next she tries...........

 

[wtpclc]

The exercies while you eat diet. No way you can gain weight if you exercise while eating. It seemed to be going well for the first week. Then laundry day came and she could not remove the salsa a nd chocolate stains from her clothing. SHe decided that she must move on, because she cannot afford to change wardrobes every week.

 

[luvmydogs]

...She pulls on a pair of those salsa & chocolate stained jeans. Having trouble getting them over her thighs, she looks at her cat, Waffles, and says, "Hmmm...must've shrunk in the dryer." Waffles' silence is deafening, and he turns to go. "What do you know, Waffles?" she cries. "You're not low carb!"

 

[septbride2002]

She decides then to try the Slim Fast Diet - after all it didn't sound hard. Drink 2 shakes, 2 healthy snacks and a healthy dinner. Of course she didn't take into account how hungry she would be with only a shake and an apple at lunch. So on the 2nd day of her diet she couldn't take it anymore and hit the McDonalds drive thru and ordered a Quarter Pounder, Fries, and a Diet Soda......supersized.......

 

[rcyannacci]

...and when she got to the drive-thru window to pick up her food, she heard a voice. "Dana!" the voice said. "Yes?" she replied...how did the McDonald's worker know her name? She looked up and saw that it was none other than Ronald McDonald working the drive thru window, but instead of looking happy (like a clown usually does) he had a single tear sliding down his face. "You don't really want this Quarter Pounder and fries, do you Dana? It might make you happy now, but how will you feel tomorrow? Even though I'm a corporate clown, I still care about you and want you to have the best food possible to keep you energized. Why don't you go across the street and have a fruit bowl from Wendy's?"

The tears in Dana's eyes blurred her vision briefly, and when we wiped them away, Ronald had vanished, having been replaced by a teenage kid with pimples who was saying "Hello...Lady? Aren't you going to take your bag?"

Dana looked straight at the kid and said...

 

[lmhall2000]

And she said, "Nah, kid...I think I can do better." So she triumphantly puts her car in drive and makes it 5 feet. Her engine died. She reaches for her cellphone but realizes she had left it in her mad hurry to nourish her body after those two measly shakes. She realizes she must enter McDonald's to make the call....

 

[lizdotcom99]

So she calls Jenny Craig, to see if they deliver...and who answers the phone but Kirsty Alley. They have this long conversation, like they were old school pals. All of a sudden, Dana hears a loud......

 

[ZerasPride]

crash over the phone. She asks Kirsty what's wrong and that's when Kirsty confesses that the crash Dana just heard was a jar of cookies falling out of Kirsty's hands.

"Kirsty, I'm shocked. You're the new poster child for Jenny Craig, how could you betray those of us who look up to you? Don't you know cheating isn't about cookies or something like that, it's when you make a commitment to yourself to get healthy and DON'T KEEP IT!"

"Mb*#ji-psemmmmm". Was all Kirsty could say. It's hard to talk with a mouth stuffed full of chocolate chip cookies. Disgusted and disillusioned, Diet Dana hangs up the phone, heads out the McDonald's with her stomach rumbling and . . .

 

[wtpclc]

collapses in the parking lot. Her sugar had gone way too low. An off-duty EMT walks out just behind her and revives her. She awakens to find her worried rescuer asking her when the last time she ate was. She goes through the whole story in shame. He calls a tow truck for her and helps her into his car. He proceeds to take her....

 

[rcyannacci]

...down the street, and looks over to ask her if she'll join him for dinner at a little bistro he knows downtown. Because she had been so embarrassed, Dana had not looked at the EMT closely, but now she looked over and saw that her rescuers was none other than...George Clooney! "Yes!" she said, "I'd love to have dinner with you...except I can't because...

 

[ZerasPride]

. . . how could she bring herself to tell him that she was too self conscious because of her weight. She thinks as quickly as she can as she sees the look of disappiontment on his face.

"You see, George, I've decided to start a new diet and I don't believe the bistro you invited me to will allow me stay on program."

"Oh." George says disappointed. "May I ask what diet you are starting?"

"It's called the cookie diet." Dana lies as she looks him straight in his handsome face. "I am allowed to eat 6 cookies of my choice and one sensible meal per day. The weight is supposed to melt off you. A lady in Australia lost 75 pounds following this program in 5 months." Dana says feels herself babbling.

"Look lady," George starts with anguish in his voice, "if you didn't want to go out with me, all you had to do was say so! You don't have to make up a ridiculous fake story."

As they pull up to her place, Dana feels bad and says to George . . .

 

[ZerasPride]

(pause in story)

Okay, WISHers, don't leave George and Dana hanging. I need someone to pick up the story for us - please!

 

[rcyannacci]

As they pull up to her place, Dana feels bad and says to George, "It's not you...it's me..." And, with that, George puts his car in gear and leaves her in a cloud of dust. "Wow, I just blew it with a major Hollywood star, AND I'm still hungry! This just isn't my day," said Dana. She went inside her house, opened up the refridgerator, and saw that there was only a stalk of celery. But, then she remembered...

 

[ZerasPride]

She had a side of beef thawing on her back porch from her low carb days.

She thinks to herself that she is hungry enough to eat a horse, or a cow in this instance.

She fires up the grill and decides low carb is the way to go as she enjoys a T-Bone steak, 1/2 pound cheeseburger with bacon strips and 6 fried eggs for her dinner.

In the morning, as her head is bent over the toilet, she realizes that she may have overdid it a bit on the meat so she turns to . . .

 

[rcyannacci]

...her dog and says "Poochie...I think I need some professional help, and not just anyone will do. I need...Richard Simmons! Yes, I've sunk that low! He's the only one that can help me now! I realize that sweating to the oldies is out of vogue, and I know that those shorts he wears are literally the most tacky things on the face of the earth, but I just have to discover his source of energy!"

Dana went into her bedroom, packed a suitcase, threw it in her car, and set out for LA to find the exercise guru. But just as she reached Hollywood...

 

[wtpclc]

That darn car broke down again. As she's walking down a rather questionable street, she notices a women of the evening on the corner. Seeing as she was getting a little anxious walking alone in the area, she goes to the women to ask her where the nearest grage is. Low and behold it's Julia Roberts! She's practicing for the Pretty Woman sequel where Vivian ends up back on the street after Edmond dumps her and tells the world how they met.

Seeing as how Julia has alreadey recovered from childbirth, Dana inquires as to how she stays so thin. Juila replied that....