College/Dating Question..

[cindys_castle2011]

I was just looking at my friend's myspace and noticed that her and her boyfriend, of almost 5 years broke up..

I texted my boyfriend because his best friend is the guy's brother. He said that they broke up because he's going to college at Prat (Kansas) and he didn't want that to be hard on them living so far away.

Well I went on his myspace and saw some chick in his profile picture with him. I read his about me and it said something like 'And I have the most AMAZING girlfriend blahblahblah' etc.

I don't see how someone can break up with someone they've been dating for so long and then just move on to the next one in line just like that.

Anyways that has nothing to do with my question..

If you were in a stable relationship and your boyfriend/girlfriend moved out of state for college. What would you do? Would your trust level for them change? Would you break up? Stay together and try to make it work..? etc.

 

[pigletgirl]

I have found thru friends that it is incredibly difficult to stay together in a long term relationship, and college just makes it that much harder.

To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure if DBF and I would have stayed together had I or him gone off to another school. And yeah, I would probably become super jealous, and he wouldnt have my trust.

But yeah....seen tons of breakups due to college. Its a whole new chapter in your life.

 

[Babyjustrun]

I would break up, but not because I didn't trust them. I'd break up because it wouldn't seem like fun to be in a relationship and never ever see the person. I think it would be an annoying thing weighing you, and the other person down.
Not worth it, if it's meant to be, you'll come back to the person once you're done school.

 

[PigletGurl]

I wouldn't break up. My boyfriend and I will probably see each other twice a month, at the least. I love 'long distance relationships', cuz it makes the time you actually see each other all the more special.

 

[Sparx]

when matt and i got together, he was graduating college, and i was graduating high school. he followed me to where i'm going to college now, since he had nothing tying him down to where he was before, after graduation.

i wouldn't have really done it any other way. its hard and honestly just not worth it in my opinion.

its normal to break up due to college, and its also pretty normal for a couple (the same age) to go to the same college, and then break up, because a lot of people can't handle their freedom or living together (whichever is their situation)

not all relationships work, thats just the fact of the matter, and sometimes you have to take a cue to end the relationship when its ready to end.

 

[JulielovesDisney]

a bunch of my friend's have broken up because of college. it's such a drastic change for a person, especially if they live on campus. they will go through a lot of changes. i'm pretty much a different person than i was 1 year ago.

plus there's the whole jealousy thing. because people party a lot in college, get drunk, and have random hook-ups. it's basically the way of life for most college students. that new taste of freedom is intoxicating and they might want to be completely free and out of a relationship.

maybe your friends will get back together in a few months or years. but whatever happens..happens for a reason. the few couples who want to stay in a relationship will make it work. my bf and i go to the same college, but we live 2 hours apart on breaks. we want to make it work, so we find ways around the distance. it's very hard, but it worth it because we care about eachother so much.

sorry your friends broke up though. that's always sad.

 

[Axel]

I would break up, but not because I didn't trust them. I'd break up because it wouldn't seem like fun to be in a relationship and never ever see the person. I think it would be an annoying thing weighing you, and the other person down.
Not worth it, if it's meant to be, you'll come back to the person once you're done school.

I never see my DBF. I actually haven't seen him in over a year. But I'm happy with that because I know it means he's off chasing his dreams and I'm chasing mine here. I trust him enough to know that he's not going to cheat on me because he knows how hurt I've gotten in the past. If we're lucky, I'll get to see him over Christmas.

 

[DramaQueen]

Well, I have experience with this, so I'll talk a bit about my situation.
I've been dating Derek for 3 years. After year 1 we had to decide what we were doing about university. I was staying at home, and he was going away. His uni campus is only 2 hours away from me, but that's really really far sometimes.

I honestly can't even begin to describe how hard it was at the beginning, I cried a LOT, we were both upset a lot. it was hard, but not unbearable. it was worth it to us because when we finally did get to see each other it was like everything else just disappeared.

We hit a big rough patch this past winter, he was going through a hard time, not doing well in classes, his grandfather had passed away, he was having trouble with his friends, and he thought we needed to go on a break.
That 'break' was literally the hardest 3 months of my life. I cried for the majority of every day....anyways it sucked. the distance had a lot to do with the 'break'. anyways enough with my life story....we worked everything out and are honestly better than we ever have been.

we're going into our 3rd yr of university, so this will be the 3rd time i have to send him off, it never gets easier saying goodbye. i still tear up almost every time. but after everything i find it is getting easier and that we're more independent yet we're there for each other when we need it.

anyways, in short if you want to skip by thesis of a post, no i wouldnt breal up because of that. if you really truly love each other, you can make it work and it'll be worth it. i truly love derek and we plan on getting married someday, so to me, it's definitely worth it to stick it out through the extremely tough school year.
my best friend dated someone who lived in england for the first 3 years of their relationship, now they live together and all that distance and missing each other was worth it!

 

[pigletgirl]

I never see my DBF. I actually haven't seen him in over a year. But I'm happy with that because I know it means he's off chasing his dreams and I'm chasing mine here. I trust him enough to know that he's not going to cheat on me because he knows how hurt I've gotten in the past. If we're lucky, I'll get to see him over Christmas.

Wow, that is impressive!

 

[3mtn-kate]

I can't see myself being able to take a boyfriend to college with me, I mean not like literally but even just in my heart.
I have trust issues to begin with and I just don't think that I would be able to trust someone so much to let them be far away from me for a long period of time.
I haven't seen my boyfriend in two months and thats hard enough for me, I won't see him again until school starts and it's been really difficult, and this is really the only distance I can trust him completely with, I don't even want to think about college.

 

[kelly7ak]

people party a lot in college, get drunk, and have random hook-ups. it's basically the way of life for most college students.

I would have to disagree with this statement ... it may be for SOME college students but not most. Things like Spring Break on MTV give people that impression, but remember, for all those college students that you see on those shows, there are a LOT more who aren't there, and aren't doing stuff like that.

 

[Sparx]

I would have to disagree with this statement ... it may be for SOME college students but not most. Things like Spring Break on MTV give people that impression, but remember, for all those college students that you see on those shows, there are a LOT more who aren't there, and aren't doing stuff like that.

i remember they gave us information about it when i went to my orientation at school. 70% of college students (there) drink, and 20% of those have dangerous drinking habits (binging, drinking and driving, etc)

so at my school, yes, most students drink.

 

[CrazySteph]

I have found thru friends that it is incredibly difficult to stay together in a long term relationship, and college just makes it that much harder.
To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure if DBF and I would have stayed together had I or him gone off to another school. And yeah, I would probably become super jealous, and he wouldnt have my trust.

But yeah....seen tons of breakups due to college. Its a whole new chapter in your life.

ITA

My Ex Boyfriend and I last year TRIED to make it work when he went to college and it didn't work at all.. lol

but Now im dating a guy.. going to college in a few days.. but idk what to think of it.. cause we AREN'T together.. but we are dating.. so we kinda still have all options open.. and idk maybe it will be better this way.. we'll see.

 

[DramaQueen]

I would have to disagree with this statement ... it may be for SOME college students but not most. Things like Spring Break on MTV give people that impression, but remember, for all those college students that you see on those shows, there are a LOT more who aren't there, and aren't doing stuff like that.

i definitely think that saying most college kids drink and hook up is accurate.
though SOME don't, in my 3 years at university i have yet to meet anyone who doesn't drink. not trying to start an arguement or anything, but i think it's safe to say that most college kids get drunk, and often. my orientation week for university i saw more drunk people and heard about more hook up than anything i'd ever seen on mtv! lol

 

[DramaQueen]

and to get back on topic, speaking about jealousy and trust and stuff, i think that having dated my bf for a year before we went to out respective schools helped a lot because we had established a trust between us and knew we could count of the other to be faithful.
i can't lie, i did get jealous a lot in the beginning when he started making friends with new people (and new girls) but i KNOW i can trust him, we're both really honest wit each other, so i never really get jealous anymore.

i think i'm really lucky to have found someone i can make this work with. though it's not the ideal situation, we definitely have learned how to deal with it and it's soooo worth it to us.

 

[pigletgirl]

and to get back on topic, speaking about jealousy and trust and stuff, i think that having dated my bf for a year before we went to out respective schools helped a lot because we had established a trust between us and knew we could count of the other to be faithful.
i can't lie, i did get jealous a lot in the beginning when he started making friends with new people (and new girls) but i KNOW i can trust him, we're both really honest wit each other, so i never really get jealous anymore.

i think i'm really lucky to have found someone i can make this work with. though it's not the ideal situation, we definitely have learned how to deal with it and it's soooo worth it to us.

That's how I feel now! And it amazes me every single day that we make it. There are so many distractions for me that our relationship could be pushed to the wayside, but we try every day to keep it alive and well.

Having a relationship at all in college is a huge commitment, despite what others say.