Coffee Shop Boycott by "Moms". Debate?

[luvmydogs]

Well, if I never patronized that coffee shop before, I certainly would now.

When my ds10 was three, a group of moms (including me) would meet at out local library for storytime. After a while I couldn't stand it--many would let their children run all over the place--yelling, screaming, taking books off the shelves, etc.... It drove me crazy. Three years of age is certainly not too young to be teaching proper situational behavior.

If a parent feels her 'outgoing' child needs to be free to express herself, I'd suggest a playground. Children should be allowed to be their exhuberant selves--but in appropriate places.

 

[Jennasis]

There is a "SUbway" near our home that has a sign on the counter that says "Sorry but we are unable to help any customer who is using a cell phone at this time". Apparently the use of cell phones had become such a nuissance (either people talking while giving their order or trying to relay their coworkers orders through the phone that store management finally got fed up)...it's awesome!

 

[poohbear1029]

This is on the Today show right now!

 

[wasabi girl]

I'm with the owner on this one too. I have a small restaurant. There have been numerous occasions where parents let their children scream, run, play, make tons of noise (banging silverware on the table) while they sit, oblivious to the fact that the kids are bothering other patrons...when we have to say something to the parents (we do our best to be polite and tactful), there is an amazingly large number who have fits. About how rude we are, children are children and behave like children....they usually end with "I'll never come back", I'm usually thinking "Thank you". What has happened to parents? If I'd behaved in a way that made an owner or manger correct my behavior I would have been is so much trouble! It's crazy these days...
I don't have a family restaurant by the way....it is a sushi bar/ bar.

 

[poohbear1029]

It amazes me how many people let their kids treat public places like their playground. I am not talking about the crying ababy or screeching toddler, who may be unable to control themselves, but the older school age children who just have not been taught manners. There are times for kids to run and explore and there are times for more controlled behavior.

And , if it is a crying baby, etc that is becoming disruptive, I would expect that I as a parent would remove myself from the situation so as not to ruin everyone elses meal. Especially when someone else may have spent hard earned money on a babysitter so they could have a quiet adult meal.

 

[Olaf]

I saw the guy this morning on FOX and agree with him completely. The red flag for me was when the mom stated that her daughter was "very verbal." The store owner was a bit creepy though--weird smile.

I have problems with kids running wild in the bookstore, and I'm not talking about the kid's section. It's happening more and more at my local Borders--drives me nuts.

 

[clarabelle]

There are loads of family places to go to most of the time (Hello McDonalds?)
That you can take children. I would be suprised to hear that these Moms didn't have some other choices.

 

[minkydog]

Sorry I don't have a link but just heard this on news. A coffee shop called "Taste of Heaven" has posted a very small, innocuous sign that says "children of all ages must use their inside voices". This has prompted a boycott among some of the local mothers. One mother called to confront the owner who said that her very garulous, outgoing three year old was asked to be quiet and the mom was asked to leave. The store owner said that he spoke to the server that day who didn't recall the incident happening as the mother had described. The mother did however discribe her daughter as outgoing, someone who talks and likes to engage strangers in conversation, asking them what their name is, etc.
She is offended that her daughter was made to feel bad for being outgoing and will not return to the shop.
My thoughts. I like children. I had four but if I want a quiet cup of coffee someplace, want to talk quietly to whom ever I am sitting with or just want to read the paper, I should not feel compelled to talk with an "outgoing three year old who wants to know my name". I think that this gets back to our child centered society where everything must stop in order to make that particular child the center of the universe. I think my parents were onto something when they said, "don't speak until you are spoken to". Any thoughts?

I had one of those "garulous" three year olds and I didn't particularly enjoy being asked questions either. My MIL put a stop to it, though: When DS asked her once too often "how old are you?" (his standard opening line) she snapped back, "None of your business." He came crying to me, "she's not my friend!" Sorry son. You started it.

I totally support the business owner here. He has the right to expect his patrons to be considerate of each other so as to not drive away business. Frankly, I get tired of seeing moms socializing in restaurants, the library, the mall, etc. and letting their kids run wild. It's rude and annoying. If they want to let the kids blow off some steam, then start a coffee klatch at home--that's what i did and it worked out great! My wonderful precocious-but- annoying son could swing, run, and shriek his head off while me & the girls could drink coffee until we turned brown and it never bothered a soul.

 

[RadioNate]

I agree with the owner, and I'm a parent. Every Sunday morning I sleep in and DH take DS to Starbucks. DS quietly sits and eats his lemon cake, drinks his juice, and flips though the ad books in the paper while DH reads the paper and drinks his coffee. He never runs around the shop, never talks to other patrons or acts unruley in any way.

It's not that I think kids should totally stay out of coffee shops. I just think they should behave while they are there.

 

[minkydog]

I'm with the owner on this one too. I have a small restaurant. There have been numerous occasions where parents let their children scream, run, play, make tons of noise (banging silverware on the table) while they sit, oblivious to the fact that the kids are bothering other patrons...when we have to say something to the parents (we do our best to be polite and tactful), there is an amazingly large number who have fits. About how rude we are, children are children and behave like children....they usually end with "I'll never come back", I'm usually thinking "Thank you". What has happened to parents? If I'd behaved in a way that made an owner or manger correct my behavior I would have been is so much trouble! It's crazy these days...
I don't have a family restaurant by the way....it is a sushi bar/ bar.

Do a lot of kids eat sushi? or do their parents bring in Happy Meals? This just aggravates me to no end. We purposely don't bring our youngest to certain restaurants because we know he has a limited capacity to sit still. A sushi bar would be the last place I would take him.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Sounds like a great place! I'm there!!!

 

[Marseeya]

And , if it is a crying baby, etc that is becoming disruptive, I would expect that I as a parent would remove myself from the situation so as not to ruin everyone elses meal. Especially when someone else may have spent hard earned money on a babysitter so they could have a quiet adult meal.

Ohhhh, you just totally mentioned one of my biggest peeves! I can't tell you how many times DH and I have gone for a night out alone, only to have someone else's kids bugging us. I think the two of us just look like friendly parents, so kids typically aren't afraid of us and want to come to our table or hang over the seat to "chat." Ya know, I could have saved myself the money and brought my own kids to talk to!

The other night we went to Applebees, which yes I know is a family place, but there was a young couple sitting behind me with a very fussy baby. The parents were chatting it up and having a good time with a friend, while the baby was practically climbing on top of my head from the seat behind me, squalling and fussing the entire time. DH and I couldn't even hear each other talk, so I said to him very loudly, "Can I come sit on your side of the table??? I think I'm going deaf here!" and the lady finally paid attention to her baby and tried to calm him.

How hard is it to take the child outside, or to the waiting area or restroom? I mean, geez, I'd hate for you to miss anything good.

 

[DawnCt1]

I saw the guy this morning on FOX and agree with him completely. The red flag for me was when the mom stated that her daughter was "very verbal." The store owner was a bit creepy though--weird smile.

.

Yeah, he was a little different. I figured he was just the mellow, laid back father earth type. Sort of a refined tree hugger.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Marseeya, GOOD FOR YOU for saying something!!!! I would be going bananas!

 

[golfgal]

I don't know why people insist on not only having their ringer on, but having it on full blast! It's SOOO obnoxious!

Anne

This would be me! I have it on full blast otherwise I can't hear it ring. Sorry.

 

[Planogirl]

Where is this coffee shop? I wish that some places around here had this much courage. I wouldn't hesitate to patronize such a place, OFTEN!

 

[allie&mattsmom]

I think it's great. I think kids should always have to use their "inside" voices in any restaurant, unless of course it's Chuckie Cheese or someplace where kids are supposed to running around playing. I am a huge worrier and am always on my kids about behaving due to being concerned that they are disturbing others.

 

[wasabi girl]

Minkydog...
it depends on the parents...there are many kids who do eat sushi, those who have been exposed to it by their parents...there are many who don't (we have spring rolls, tempura and other options)...we finally had to post a large notice about bringing in outside food though, it didn't really bother us when parents with toddlers brought happy meals, but when parents of school age children and even other adults who just didn't like Japanese food brought in everything from hot dogs from the gas station to an entire pizza (I am not kidding) we just decided no more outside food. Period.

 

[mickeymo]

Do a lot of kids eat sushi? or do their parents bring in Happy Meals? This just aggravates me to no end. We purposely don't bring our youngest to certain restaurants because we know he has a limited capacity to sit still. A sushi bar would be the last place I would take him.

My kids are 8 and 11 - while they enjoy trying new foods, we take them to restaurants we know will have foods they enjoy. Teaching restaurant manners at an early age was done at family friendly restaurants so that now, when we go to a nicer restaurant, they know how to behave.

My kids love sushi, we introduced them to sushi early, california rolls, etc...then they've since progressed onto more adventuresome fare - taco - unagi (I'm spelling it phonetically) and the roe aka the eggs that pop and the eggs that squirt...I'm not that adventuresome - but, they love it!!! I think they liked the positive attention and comments they received both about their manners and that you don't see many caucasian young children eating sushi or sashimi...It reinforced our teaching that people notice behaviors - both good and bad...

back to the op - I like that the coffee shop was reminding children of all ages to use their inside voices. Adults need that gentle reminder, too...

 

[meb51]

Ok - I usually just lurk but had to join in on this thread. I saw the "interview" with the mom and store owner on Fox this morning. I was most annoyed with how poorly the Fox person (sorry- don't know his name) treated the store owner. The Fox person was so rude to him - not giving him an appropriate opportunity to respond and so very obviously siding with the mom. I actually thought the store owner did a great job keeping his cool. I don't think I could have done the same in that situation. I actually looked on the Fox news web page to find an email address to send a note expressing this view but haven't found it yet.