Co-worker giving me the silent treatment

[starsandstripes]

2 1/2 weeks ago my co-worker and I had a minor disagreement. This is a 50 yr old woman who is as unprofessional as they come. Calls in sick the minute she earns sick leave, she has told 2 male co-workers with young children to "go home and make more babies", she walks into our lobby where visitors are eating peanut butter out of a jar, interrupts meetings to tell a co-worker there are donuts in the kitchen...the list goes on and on. I have worked with her for 11 years and have just learned to live with it even though she can be very immature and annoying.

Back to minor spat, we have had them in the past. This time though she wants me to apologize or she'll keep giving me the silent treatment (she did stop the silent treatment long enough to tell me that.) Bottom line, I do not think I owe her an apology. With the way she acts and treats people, she has owed me about a dozen apologies but I never get them but you don't see me stooping to the level of a 12 yr old and giving someone the silent treatment in a work environment.

It wouldn't bother me so much except that in our job we need to communicate. Her silent treatment is making the job that much harder. I am thinking about apologizing not because I think she deserves one, but for the good of the office. However, I do not want her to think she can bully me into an apology.

What would you do?

 

[dzorn]

2 1/2 weeks ago my co-worker and I had a minor disagreement. This is a 50 yr old woman who is as unprofessional as they come. Calls in sick the minute she earns sick leave, she has told 2 male co-workers with young children to "go home and make more babies", she walks into our lobby where visitors are eating peanut butter out of a jar, interrupts meetings to tell a co-worker there are donuts in the kitchen...the list goes on and on. I have worked with her for 11 years and have just learned to live with it even though she can be very immature and annoying.

Back to minor spat, we have had them in the past. This time though she wants me to apologize or she'll keep giving me the silent treatment (she did stop the silent treatment long enough to tell me that.) Bottom line, I do not think I owe her an apology. With the way she acts and treats people, she has owed me about a dozen apologies but I never get them but you don't see me stooping to the level of a 12 yr old and giving someone the silent treatment in a work environment.

It wouldn't bother me so much except that in our job we need to communicate. Her silent treatment is making the job that much harder. I am thinking about apologizing not because I think she deserves one, but for the good of the office. However, I do not want her to think she can bully me into an apology.

What would you do?

I would enjoy the silence. If you need to tell her something job related than do so, if she fails to inform you of important job related things inform your supervisor.

Denise in MI

 

[JaneBanks]

Let it go and only talk to her if you need to.

 

[I loveStitchnippyjon]

I would enjoy the silence. If you need to tell her something job related than do so, if she fails to inform you of important job related things inform your supervisor.

Denise in MI

I agree. You really only need to talk about work-related subjects, and if she doesn't, she's not doing her job. Keep a record if this happens!

 

[DefLepard]

Do you have an HR dept ?

I would talk to HR first

 

[WDSearcher]

I, too, would enjoy the silence and ignore her.

If you ask her a direct, work-related question that she will not answer, and the answer is necessary to complete the task, e-mail her the question and copy the boss. Start with a comment like, "I asked you this earlier and didn't get an answer ..."

However ... be really really sure that you don't have a role in this and that you're not simply refusing to apologize now because she hasn't before. Because then you're kind of playing the same game.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would apologize and this is the reason why....

Reasoning with someone who is not capable of having any empathy is pointless.

 

[happygirl]

Go to your boss

 

[dvcmom72]

Like most everyone has already said...enjoy the silence
If you NEED to communicate with her for work related matters and SHE is making that impossible...take it to your supervisor and/or HR.
Don't play her childish games.

 

[Nancyg56]

I, too, would enjoy the silence and ignore her.

If you ask her a direct, work-related question that she will not answer, and the answer is necessary to complete the task, e-mail her the question and copy the boss. Start with a comment like, "I asked you this earlier and didn't get an answer ..."

This is how I would handle it. After a few times either she or the manager will get the message. Just make sure that you don't use email before you attempt to communicate with her.

 

[Rafiki31]

2 1/2 weeks ago my co-worker and I had a minor disagreement. This is a 50 yr old woman who is as unprofessional as they come. Calls in sick the minute she earns sick leave, she has told 2 male co-workers with young children to "go home and make more babies", she walks into our lobby where visitors are eating peanut butter out of a jar, interrupts meetings to tell a co-worker there are donuts in the kitchen...the list goes on and on. I have worked with her for 11 years and have just learned to live with it even though she can be very immature and annoying.

Back to minor spat, we have had them in the past. This time though she wants me to apologize or she'll keep giving me the silent treatment (she did stop the silent treatment long enough to tell me that.) Bottom line, I do not think I owe her an apology. With the way she acts and treats people, she has owed me about a dozen apologies but I never get them but you don't see me stooping to the level of a 12 yr old and giving someone the silent treatment in a work environment.

It wouldn't bother me so much except that in our job we need to communicate. Her silent treatment is making the job that much harder. I am thinking about apologizing not because I think she deserves one, but for the good of the office. However, I do not want her to think she can bully me into an apology.

What would you do?

How old are you? This seems like seventh grade crap to me, and you are both a party to it. I'd let her give me the silent treatment and be done with her sounds like she is a huge pain in the you know what. I'd prefer to not talk with her. If she doesn't do her work, complain up. You don't have to like each other, sounds like you already don't. You DO have to act professional and do your jobs.

 

[TacoBaco]

I, too, would enjoy the silence and ignore her.

If you ask her a direct, work-related question that she will not answer, and the answer is necessary to complete the task, e-mail her the question and copy the boss. Start with a comment like, "I asked you this earlier and didn't get an answer ..."

Agreed, that's exactly what I would do.

 

[Sanchez]

Work it out.

As an employer, if this came to my attention I would probably consider replacing both of you. Then again, we strive for a drama free workplace.

 

[Bob NC]

Can you put her on here for a few minutes? I'd like to hear her side of the story.

 

[KatelynnsAuntie]

yikes. Not sure what I would do.

 

[marmalade]

And to think I am contemplating going back to work after being a SAHM to be with other adults.

 

[denisenh]

2 1/2 weeks ago my co-worker and I had a minor disagreement. This is a 50 yr old woman who is as unprofessional as they come. Calls in sick the minute she earns sick leave, she has told 2 male co-workers with young children to "go home and make more babies", she walks into our lobby where visitors are eating peanut butter out of a jar, interrupts meetings to tell a co-worker there are donuts in the kitchen...the list goes on and on. I have worked with her for 11 years and have just learned to live with it even though she can be very immature and annoying.

Back to minor spat, we have had them in the past. This time though she wants me to apologize or she'll keep giving me the silent treatment (she did stop the silent treatment long enough to tell me that.) Bottom line, I do not think I owe her an apology. With the way she acts and treats people, she has owed me about a dozen apologies but I never get them but you don't see me stooping to the level of a 12 yr old and giving someone the silent treatment in a work environment.

It wouldn't bother me so much except that in our job we need to communicate. Her silent treatment is making the job that much harder. I am thinking about apologizing not because I think she deserves one, but for the good of the office. However, I do not want her to think she can bully me into an apology.

What would you do?

where do you work and why do visitors eat peanut butter out of a jar in the lobby?

 

[hj0519]

where do you work and why do visitors eat peanut butter out of a jar in the lobby?

I'm pretty sure it's the coworker that goes into the lobby (where visitors are) while eating peanut butter out of the jar. It's the coworker and not the visitors that are eating peanut butter...

 

[tar heel]

Her behavior should not stop YOU from acting like a professional. This is not a time for "winning." If you ignore her, don't speak to her, etc., then you are becoming part of the problem. Work it out.

 

[Bluestars]

We have a few annoying people like her where I work. I just avoid them whenever possible. I am nice and polite when I speak to them though.

I wouldn't give in to a silent temper tantrum. I would be professional and deal with her for work related issues.