co-ed baby shower

[irishsharon]

After three years of fertility treatments my sister and her dh are having a baby She would like to have a co-ed shower,I have never been to one so I was wondering if any of you have and could tell me what you liked and did'nt.I am thinking of having it at a restaurant because there will be so many people.

 

[dakcp2001]

I have never been to a coed baby shower. I have been to a coed wedding shower. The men that showed up were miserable. They ended up in the other room watching football and drinking beer while we watched the bride open gifts. I am curious to see what other people have to say about this, perhaps it is just my area of the country that does not do coed showers. I learn a lot on the dis.

 

[dreamin_disney]

When I had my dd, LIL and dh threw me a shower. The party was held outside/backyard. The women played games and so on in the backyard, hungout ,ate and talked. The guys hungout in the garage watching sports and ate in there. When it came time to open the gift and cake dh was with me.

I've also been to several and its just like a regular party food, games etc

 

[JessB320]

We had close friends do a coed shower. It worked well. There was a core group of 5-6 couples who were all close so it seemed weird to not have the guys there. We didn't do games, it was more of a dinner party. Mom to be opened gifts at the end and there was a baby themed cake but otherwise it was like most of the dinner parties we did. It was a fun evening. I do remember the called it a baby Sprinkle not a shower, because they weren't doing a lot of traditional baby shower things, they just wanted to get together with friends to celebrate. I thought that part was cute.

 

[bumbershoot]

I'm so jealous that you'll do it for her. My friends REFUSED. My husband is probably 1000x more sentimental than I am, and he really really wanted to go to the shower but the ones hosting it said no. (if that happened to us *now* there would be a very different response)

MY main reason for wanting a coed shower was that I despise normal baby showers with a huge, burning passion. And that's what I ended up having.

A shower with men there NEEDS to become something other than the typical shower with ridiculous games etc. It needs to be more of a celebration, a happy, looking-forward time, with gifts for the baby and LOVE for the new family. Not "what's this in the diaper" nonsense. (although DH being DH, he would have loved that, too...they should have let HIM have the shower and let me go off and do other things, frankly!)


Anyway, good for you for wanting to give her what she wants! And congratulations to her, too.

 

[Jenny3]

We had a coed shower; it was more of a picnic with lots of kids, swimming, horseshoes, tons of food, beer and some baby gifts thrown in. All around a great family day! Everyone had a great time, including the guys

 

[HeatherFeather]

Also did the co-ed thing way back when...we even made the guys play a shower game. They had to see who could drink a baby bottle full of beer the fastest. DH and I were both military at the time so we had lots of male friends and couples. It was a lot of fun and very laid back.

 

[loveshak22]

I'm so jealous that you'll do it for her. My friends REFUSED. My husband is probably 1000x more sentimental than I am, and he really really wanted to go to the shower but the ones hosting it said no. (if that happened to us *now* there would be a very different response)

MY main reason for wanting a coed shower was that I despise normal baby showers with a huge, burning passion. And that's what I ended up having.

A shower with men there NEEDS to become something other than the typical shower with ridiculous games etc. It needs to be more of a celebration, a happy, looking-forward time, with gifts for the baby and LOVE for the new family. Not "what's this in the diaper" nonsense. (although DH being DH, he would have loved that, too...they should have let HIM have the shower and let me go off and do other things, frankly!)


Anyway, good for you for wanting to give her what she wants! And congratulations to her, too.

I'm sorry to hear that for you! I've hosted 3 baby showers and have always been willing to do what the mom-to-be wanted! I couldn't imagine any of my friends asking for something and me saying no!

I've hosted a coed shower and been to a few. When I hosted we had it at a tea house but the menu was good for men/women. It was more of a get-together than a shower. While we did have games it wasn't the "guess the baby food" or the "what's in the diaper game." Mainly because I don't like those - hahaha. I had a guess celebrity baby names and asked a man and woman to pair up (it's funny for men to admit how much celeb gossip they know), measure the belly where people cut strings they think is the size of the mom-to-be's belly (with her permission of course because some women do not like this game) and made the dad-to-be make a guess as well, and had people pick baby names using the letters of the mom and dad's names. Then I had the dad pick the winner. I think being in public gives people enough distractions with food and drink and they can't really get away so everyone was pretty good natured about playing along.

The worst co-ed shower I went to was at a friend's house. I did not host but wanted to keep jumping in to control the situation because the hostess was out of her element, but I held back I think the main problem was they had the T.V. on and people were inside and outside and it just was not organized and I know the mom-to-be wanted it to be a co-ed/get together feeling but I know she also wanted some of the traditional shower type stuff as well and it was like herding cats. We finally got some of the guys to finally get in the spirit and had a few fun games.

I went to another co-ed shower that was basically a BBQ but it was still organized (no T.V. on and some planning strong personalities to keep things on track).

I would honestly say that in the co-ed showers that I feel were "successful" the dads were very into it. I think the other men will take the lead of the dad-to-be. If he's all into the shower thing and is being a good sport with whatever you plan for them then I think the other guys will follow. And having it in a restaurant where everyone is in one place focuses the party around your planning. Just make sure to include him and not just the mom in events - let him be the judge of something, or like when we made him play the guess the mommy's belly size game we teased him about not getting into too much trouble. I've seen people make a daddy tool belt and give to him at some point during the shower to let him have the "spotlight" for awhile (http://www.littlegreenduckling.com/Black-Daddys-Diaper-Dootie-Tool-Belt/A/B001E3JKUS.htm).

I'm sure whatever you plan will be great! Also, make sure the prizes for the games are gender neutral - chocolates, gift cards, etc.

Hope this helps!

 

[kkwis2]

Our friends threw a co-ed shower for us for both our wedding and our first child. It was great fun to be able to include my husband in some of the excitement building up to the birth. It's not just about the mom and the baby!

It was actually held in our back yard since we have more space, but our friends (a couple) "hosted". We did the drink beer from a bottle game for the guys as someone else mentioned. We also did a couple of games that the couples had to complete together. I also vaguely remember some sort of game where each team had to come up with some sort of picture with parts that had been cut out from magazines (it's been a while though, so that memory is pretty foggy).

Regardless, I think it's a great idea! This has been a journey for both your sister and her DH, so both should be able to celebrate the upcoming birth. Just have fun and choose activities that fit the style of couple that they are.

 

[North of Mouse]

I have gone to lots of baby showers in this area where the *parents to be* were both there, AND both opened the gifts. There was mostly only women in attendance at all of them, but that was no issue. Why shouldn't *daddy to be* enjoy the fun too - it's about his *pride & joy* also

 

[irishsharon]

WOW thank you everyone! I was thinking of doing a candy buffet, what do you think? Also I found a great place that has a great brunch. It will have an omlette station and waffle station and LOTS of other yummy food,plus it includes bloody marys and mimosas and juice.I think it will be great if the guys can get up and move around instead of a sitdown meal As far as games I want to do something but keep it low key..My sister is 8 years younger than I am and she was not even 2 when our mom passed away she thinks of me as her mom and I really want to make this day super special.all ideas and fun stories welcomed

 

[pixiewings71]

I did a co-ed shower for my DD and her DH. We did the silly games but not the lame what's in the diaper game. LOL I have always disliked that game. We did the tray of baby things remember game, we did the taste the baby food and ID it game, we did another game that was fun, it was like a trivia type game, I had clues and you had to match a name to the clue, like "toilet" would be John, to transport would be Carrie. Things like that, the guys who came had fun with the games and we had plenty of munchies to snack on. It wasn't centered on games, it was centered on being together and having fun.

 

[Happyjen27]

I had a co-ed shower, since half of my siblings are brothers, and half of my siblings are sisters, my mom saw no reason to exclude the men. It was more like a regular party that my family frequently throws, with drinks and food and fun.

I have since heard about men only parties that are "diapers and beer" parties. Where the men get together and do man stuff, and all the attendees bring diapers. I think my husband would have preferred that.

 

[mjkacmom]

We had a coed shower; it was more of a picnic with lots of kids, swimming, horseshoes, tons of food, beer and some baby gifts thrown in. All around a great family day! Everyone had a great time, including the guys

I was there! The one I went to was very similar, just like your typical backyard bbq (with better food), and for an hour, the ladies and some of the kids went inside for the gift opening (no guys). If I am going to give up an afternoon for a party, I'd rather it be fun!

 

[Pigeon]

Basically throw a party with some time set aside for opening gifts. With good food, drink and company, everyone will enjoy themselves. By all means, skip the idiotic games.

 

[Maggie Lizer]

Basically throw a party with some time set aside for opening gifts. With good food, drink and company, everyone will enjoy themselves. By all means, skip the idiotic games.

That's pretty much what mine was. A cook-out with some opening of presents. We just hung out and talked, we had some music on in the background, the moms and dads in attendance gave advice or "warnings." It was super-low key. Because I wasn't offereing a lot of variety as far as drinks go (only one kind of beer and one kind of white wine), I did a big dessert bar with about 5 or 6 different cakes and pies, and some cookies and candy. I was in my 3rd trimseter and ravenously hungry all the time.

 

[North of Mouse]

Basically throw a party with some time set aside for opening gifts. With good food, drink and company, everyone will enjoy themselves. By all means, skip the idiotic games.

All the baby showers I have been to have had great games played, and nobody considered them idiotic, a fun, light hearted time was had by all.

To each their own though, but have never been to one without games - really helps relax and *break the ice*. Lots of laughter!

 

[riley2008]

WOW thank you everyone! I was thinking of doing a candy buffet, what do you think? Also I found a great place that has a great brunch. It will have an omlette station and waffle station and LOTS of other yummy food,plus it includes bloody marys and mimosas and juice.I think it will be great if the guys can get up and move around instead of a sitdown meal As far as games I want to do something but keep it low key..My sister is 8 years younger than I am and she was not even 2 when our mom passed away she thinks of me as her mom and I really want to make this day super special.all ideas and fun stories welcomed

IMO - sounds like a great place for a ladies shower. I would enjoy it - and probably go alone.

Also, the last 6 (or more) baby showers I've been too, have been co-ed. Some with games geared to couples, some without. All but one had both parents opening the gifts and that was a couple with their 3rd child (12 years difference between new baby and youngest).

All but one was at someone house and involved cooking out in some form - fish fry, barbeque, burgers. One was at a rural "bar", but during the day can be rented out - had horshoes, washers and a playground just off the patio. (Kids were invited, too)

I thought all of these were successful and fun - like a dinner get-to-together, but larger.

 

[kokomos]

We threw a co-ed shower with crawfish boil. Even had the guys get in on some of the games. They raced drinking beer out of baby bottles, also raced changing diapers on baby dolls, also blind folded a few ladies and had them feed husbands cake. Much more fun than traditional baby shower.

 

[js]

I have never been to a coed baby shower. I have been to a coed wedding shower. The men that showed up were miserable. They ended up in the other room watching football and drinking beer while we watched the bride open gifts. I am curious to see what other people have to say about this, perhaps it is just my area of the country that does not do coed showers. I learn a lot on the dis.

I don't know what your area of the country is but I am in NY and my dh would also be miserable. We have close friends that just had a granddaughter and the men went to a bar/restaurant during the shower to all hang together but would NEVER want to be in the same room as the ladies opening gifts and playing stupid, oops, silly games.
My dh would have an excuse why he couldn't go and not attend.

Good luck OP, I hope and I'm sure, you will have a wonderful co-ed shower for your sil. Congratulations!