Class gift exchange - sigh.

[cabanafrau]

My favorite from when my kids were little were the years the whole school participated in filling warming trees. Christmas trees were set up around the school and the children would bring in mittens, gloves, hats, scarves to decorate them. They were then forwarded to organizations helping children in need.

 

[Hemlock]

I have no problem with the "give a toy from home" gift exchange. My daughter's class had a gift exchange this year and the limit was $5. The child who bought my daughter a gift ran up to make sure that she knew that he had spent $7.99 on the gift. His poor mother was very embarassed.

 

[Magpie]

I'm on the same page as everyone else who's posted here, so I won't repeat what they've all said. I really dislike school gift exchanges. One year my daughter was one of only two kids who got no present because their "secret Santas" punked out. The teacher gave her a "replacement" gift, but it still hurt her feelings to sit there and see all the gifts on other people's desks.

The next year we took that week off to go to Disney, in part because we just didn't want to have anything to do with the Christmas gift exchange. Apparently it was a disaster, though I don't know the details, because for next two years there was no gift exchange.

This year, my son's Grade 8 class tried to organize a new Secret Santa. Thankfully, we were once again in Orlando, so we missed the whole debacle! My son has been getting e-mails from all his friends, describing missing/stolen presents, non-compliant secret Santas, one person got a penny and another got a used eraser, while a third got a brand new video game worth almost 50 dollars...

Personally, I think school-run gift exchanges are an excellent reason to be out of town the last week before Christmas. And my children agree!

 

[torinsmom]

Our school doesn't do gift exchanges. As a teacher, I give the kids a small stocking with a lollipop or candy cane, a pencil, and a few other small items. This year I gave the girls "diamond" rings and the boys mini-koosh animals, and everyone got the curly-Q shoestrings. I also got them each a book using my Scholastic bonus points. Even the parents who don't celebrate Christmas don't seem to mind these little tokens.

 

[focusondisney]

As for all the haters, it's not my idea. All of div. 1 does it, but I thought it was rather a nice gesture. Oh well, you can never please everyone.

Haters? Well, that's nice. Christmas spirit & all.

Count me as a hater. I have never heard of a school exchange involving used toys. I've got 2 grown kids & 12 nieces & nephews, 4 different school districts. (My kids went to an "affluent district", too.) No one has had to give away used toys. I wouldn't want my kid getting a used toy like this. Safety & hygiene concerns come to mind. Surprized the district allows it with all the liability issues around now.

Our PTA would sponsor a Santa"s Shop so kids could purchase small gifts for their families. But the kids have never done gift exchanges with other students. We did do the food bank drive, mittens for kids or Toys for the local Children's hospital.

Seems like all the posters here so far don't like this idea. Maybe the parents who sent new toys are trying to send your district the same message. Sounds like it's time to survey the parents & get some feed back.

 

[matthew&haleysmom]

I would have been one of "those" parents who bought a new gift.. with 4 kids toys get played with HARD here... I can not think of any that would be okay to give as a gift to another child worth 15-25$ new! Only one of my children will be doing an exchange.. the limit is $5 I'm also sending in 2 extras "just in case". Last year only my one dd did it and the limit was $3 do you know how hard it is to buy something for under $3?

This my DS is in 1st grade. They are doing a gift exchange with one item under $3.00. I am sitting here racking my brain trying to figure out something to send in. My DS is insisting it must be something very cool.

 

[Magic Mom]

This my DS is in 1st grade. They are doing a gift exchange with one item under $3.00. I am sitting here racking my brain trying to figure out something to send in. My DS is insisting it must be something very cool.

The Dollar Tree has some pretty cool things for a dollar. You could get three rubber snakes or a glider plane or a water gun.

 

[Liberty Belle]

This my DS is in 1st grade. They are doing a gift exchange with one item under $3.00. I am sitting here racking my brain trying to figure out something to send in. My DS is insisting it must be something very cool.

A puzzle, a book, thing of silly bandz, balsam airplane kit...

I know some people got Cuponk at Target somehow for $2 after using an online coupon, but I think that's done.

 

[december]

I wouldn't be happy with the used toy exchange either. I surprised that so many schools do gift exchanges (from reading these boards lately, quite a few still do). My students are low income, so there would be issues there. We also have quite a few Jehovah Witness students, and a few Muslim students. It just wouldn't work here.

 

[sunnyday123]

It's a Christmas Miracle; we all agree.

My Dd goes to a private school, I don't know if I'd call it "affluent" but we pay for it and some of the parents are definitely better off than others (ie:me) and we have a shoebox thing ( the correct name escapes me ) that they fill up and then they ship out to deserving children.

If they suggested a gift swap of $15-$25 USED toys, I'd try my darndest to veto it. First of all, I don't want a used toy for my kid, I don't know if baby Joey spewed on it and really should a 1st grader be made to go through their toys and pick one to give to a friend? Like another poster, I tend to get rid of stuff that isn't played with, and I'm not making my kid give up something she enjoys.

It sounds like a bad idea that's getting progressively worse.

 

[Skywalker]

I wouldn't want my first grader sacrificing some toy of his that he wants just to hand it off to some other first grader. If it was for a charity or good cause then yes you bet. But for a child from an "affluent" family? No. I'd go out and buy something new within the price guidelines.

 

[HelenePA]

This my DS is in 1st grade. They are doing a gift exchange with one item under $3.00. I am sitting here racking my brain trying to figure out something to send in. My DS is insisting it must be something very cool.

I was bad and went over. I sent in a littlest pet shop. M dd came home with a small book & crayons. I did not have a dollar tree last year so my options were limited. Magic mom is right dollar tree has some cute stuff... I was there last night and spent 60$ on stocking stuffers lol. I got coloring books, dough that makes fart sounds in a can, a gun (which may or not may not be allowed) for a school gift, sticky icky bugs that go on windows. So if you have a dollar tree I'd go there first. Other wise littlest pet shops, or matchboxes.

 

[shortbun]

We never had toys around that my son wanted to give away because we packaged them up in October or early November and took them to Goodwill or the Salvation Army. A few of his toys went to friends who played with them here more than he did. But, I would have been hardpressed to come up with something. I would have purchased a new toy but stayed in the price guidelines.

 

[tasha99]

I hate school gift exchanges because they're always made to accommodate the majority, forgetting that any class has minority groups in it. Even affluent private schools have a kid or two who is poor and is there because the grandparents pay, or because of sacrifices made by the parents for a religious education. Even affluent families might be too busy, especially at Christmas, to go out and buy a particular type of gift (all gifts must be blah blah blah). There could be affluent families who cut their own consumption and don't have a bunch of used things appropriate for giving, etc. Gifts from the Dollar Store . . . hmmm. . . is the Dollar Store on the bus line?

People assume a low cost gift exchange is okay, but it's not so low cost when a family has more than one kid, or every dang group wants to do a gift exchange (3 low cost gift exchanges at $5 each, for 3 kids . . . that's $45!)

I guess the thing that gets me the most is how it's all "expected" rather than requested.

And then there are the families who are upset because their snowflake didn't get as good a gift as they gave. Rather than letting it be a life lesson about not expecting quid pro quo in everything, they're offended that Johnny couldn't afford enough this year, or Johnny's mom was too busy to buy pumpkin a name brand Barbie doll.

Yeah, I pretty much hate forced gift exchanges. Bah humbug.

 

[marcyinPA]

If you teach in an affluent school, I don't understand why the children are exchanging used toys with each other. That makes no sense to me. They should be giving gifts (new...not used) to children who are less fortunate than they are. I'm sure there are shelters in your area that could give you lists of names and ages to buy for. I'm sure the parents would appreciate it more than getting someone else's used junky toy too.

If you didn't want to do toys, you could do coats, or gloves and hats, or food, or blankets, or personal hygiene products, etc. etc.

OP, you say it wasn't your idea to do the exchange this way, but you do have to take a certain amount of responsibility for following along with it. If I were in your shoes, I would be campaigning pretty hard to change things for next year.

 

[marcyinPA]

And to answer the question:

My oldest DS only had one exchange in elementary school. I think it was fourth grade, and they did three days of "secret santa". They were not to spend more than $5 total, but were to leave a little treat of some kind each day for three days, and to leave it anonymously. Most of the children gave candy. It's not easy to buy three items for under $5. We did the exchange because he wanted to, but there were a couple of kids who forgot to bring stuff in. I would never do a class exchange if I were a teacher, for that reason. Too many kids left out.

 

[luvsJack]

Not sure why everyone has such an issue with this?

It sounds to me like they are trying to teach their students about the spirit of giving without money being involved. It sounds like because these kids come from affluent familes, gift exchanges were getting out of hand and they needed something to bring them down a notch. Like maybe the spirit of giving was being lost in the scramble of which mom can one up the other mom.

I don't think its a bad idea at all. The lesson is a good one.

OP, maybe next year you could give options. A "gently used" toy, original worth of $10 or a new toy up to $7. Or another idea, if you have a great class mom, is to collect $10 from each parent and have class mom to go buy the gifts. (all the girls get the same thing and all the boys get the same thing) and along with this have each child bring in something for Toys for Tots to be able to teach your lesson.

 

[lil mermaid]

Every year we do a gift exchange for the grade one students. We ask them to choose one toy of their own to wrap and bring in for the exchange. Letters go home to parents at the beginning of December, with notes on the original value of the toy ($15 - $25), no books, and about cleaning it before wrapping it. We try to stress that you should give something you'd like to receive.

We're in a very affluent area where many of the students are very well off, so this is a way of keeping giving from getting out of hand. (In the past we had parents bringing the whole class gifts, and then it would become a game of one-upmanship, with kids wanting to know why so and so brought everyone gifts, but this child didn't... ) I think it also stresses the giving rather than the getting, as the children are choosing something of their own to give away, in the hopes that their classmates will like it as much as they did.

We also tie it into social studies about sharing and giving, being part of a group and a community.

Well, this year out of 16 students who participated we had 7 new gifts, most way above the original limit. Thankfully, all the children seemed happy with their gift, but it was really disappointing. I'm not sure if the parents were trying to show off, if they were unwilling to let their child give away their own toy, or if the kid refused so they just bought something new. But it felt like the whole point of the exchange was lost.

The exchange has worked very well in the past, this year just seemed to fall flat.

If your school does student gift exchanges, how do they work?

Honestly, I wouldn't care for this kind of gift exchange at all. I don't want someone else's unwanted toy. When our kids get tired of a toy, or don't play with it any more, I try to donate them to someone who needs them or I give them away. If we had to participate in this kind of exchange, I don't even know what I would give.

My DD is in first grade, and this year we did a book exchange. New book, under $5.00. Perfect.

 

[golfgal]

Our kids did Secret Santa presents at that age. The first 3 weeks were a gifts for $1, most kids got candy of some kind. The last week was a $5 gift. The kids had fun with this and it was pretty easy to find something for those prices. I would NOT have liked a used gift exchange either, sorry.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Or another idea, if you have a great class mom, is to collect $10 from each parent and have class mom to go buy the gifts. (all the girls get the same thing and all the boys get the same thing) and along with this have each child bring in something for Toys for Tots to be able to teach your lesson.

I don't like the original idea, but something this sexist would bother me more.

I'm hoping this is a private school. Christmas, in my opinion, doesn't belong in public schools. Even in a private school I wouldn't love it, but also probably wouldn't bother to complain.