Class gift exchange - sigh.

[Ember]

Every year we do a gift exchange for the grade one students. We ask them to choose one toy of their own to wrap and bring in for the exchange. Letters go home to parents at the beginning of December, with notes on the original value of the toy ($15 - $25), no books, and about cleaning it before wrapping it. We try to stress that you should give something you'd like to receive.

We're in a very affluent area where many of the students are very well off, so this is a way of keeping giving from getting out of hand. (In the past we had parents bringing the whole class gifts, and then it would become a game of one-upmanship, with kids wanting to know why so and so brought everyone gifts, but this child didn't... ) I think it also stresses the giving rather than the getting, as the children are choosing something of their own to give away, in the hopes that their classmates will like it as much as they did.

We also tie it into social studies about sharing and giving, being part of a group and a community.

Well, this year out of 16 students who participated we had 7 new gifts, most way above the original limit. Thankfully, all the children seemed happy with their gift, but it was really disappointing. I'm not sure if the parents were trying to show off, if they were unwilling to let their child give away their own toy, or if the kid refused so they just bought something new. But it felt like the whole point of the exchange was lost.

The exchange has worked very well in the past, this year just seemed to fall flat.

If your school does student gift exchanges, how do they work?

 

[VAfamily1998]

Honestly, as a parent of a first grader, I would REALLY resent this type of gift exchange. We are very concious in our home of not accumulating clutter and waste. When family ask for gift suggestions at holidays and birthdays, I usually suggest "experiences"--tickets to a movie, play or museum, gift cards for activities like bowling, etc. My children have VERY few toys, but every one of them is something very deliberately, specifically chosen and much loved.
It really burns me up that you are criticizing parents for not wanting their child to give up something they already have and sending a new toy instead. Is being critical of someone else's effort in keeping with "the whole point of the exchange"?

The more I think about this, the more outraged I get. "No books"? Really? What kind of school discourages a love and appreciation of reading?

 

[Cindy B]

My school s (my own children and the one where I work) do not and have never done an exchange like that.

1) The district where I work is below the poverty line. So many of the kids have only one uniform for the entire school weeks, no health care, and such limited means it would be just so wrong. My school is 100% free lunch.. so many have so many needs. It would just be awful. If there was no poverty, there are so many children that are Muslim/Jehovah Witnesses that they do not celebrate any holiday and it just isn't prudent.

2) My childrens district has other reasons. It is a more affluent area, but we have many Jewish/Muslim/Buddhist/Jehovah Witness children to celebrate one holiday just wouldn't be fair. In elementary school, my childrens classrooms would have a small party and it woudl be a winter party. No connotations to Christmas, Jesus, Hanukah, no red/no green. All party items hd to have a generic winter theme (snowflakes, gingerbread men, snowmen). All crafts had to have the specific non denominational winter theme.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I don't think I would want my boys to participate in a gift exchange at school. The lessons that you are trying to teach are the parents to teach, IMO.

 

[Liberty Belle]

My kids have never done gift exchanges. I did when I was in grade school, though, and it was a lot of fun. The price limit was low (of course this was in the seventies, too), and there were at least five of the book of lifesavers given. I always enjoyed it.

I wish my son's school (my other son is in highschool now) would do a book gift exchange. I wouldn't mind bringing in one of our books or buying a new one, whatever the rules stated.

I don't like the idea of giving up a favorite toy. Seems like that would breed resentment more than a sense of giving.

 

[mickeywho?]

Add me to the list of parents that would not go along with this.

At our school we have a "dove" tree. The kids (with parent's permission) each pick a dove from the tree and then bring the gift it indicates. ie boy age 11 or girl age 2 etc.

My boys each picked a dove this year and went out and bought the gifts they chose with their own money. It was to be a new unwrapped toy/book/gift card...with no min/max on cost.

Teaches the kids the lesson of giving with the parents and school jointly guiding and a child in need of a gift benefits. You may want to rethink the way you are doing this...

 

[minkydog]

Not loving the used toy exchange. When i taught 3rd grade my class opted to bring in items for the local food pantry. THe kids loved it and we collected a bunch.

 

[dismom2]

I don't really like the idea of wrapping up one of our own toys, either. What if there isn't anything we want to give away at that time? And, even though you tell the parents to clean the toy before wrapping, who knows if the other parents do.

I like the book, coloring book, or some sort of school supply exchange better.

 

[effervescent]

I wouldn't mind the exchange part, although the price seems a little steep to me (my children already participate in other exchanges with some of their activities). I would not have them send in their own toys though. We also do not keep a lot of toys in our home and I would not make them give up one just for a gift exchange. I also would not want them to be the only (or one of the only) one not participating so therefore I would purchase a gift for the exchange. I also do not like the no books rule - I'd rather my kids get a book over a toy any day.

I personally think that the rules of the exchange put the parents and kids in a crappy situation and you should rethink your guidelines for next year.

 

[chabs]

Add me to the list of people that thinks that this idea is really bizarre. First of all, I don't have time to dig through my kids toys to find something in decent shape that I have to clean up and wrap for someone else's kid for Christmas. Also, anything that my kids would want to give up would be something older-so would it still be age appropriate for a gift exchange for kids the same age? Why not just do a donate for Toys for Tots? If the kids in your area are well off, they don't need someone else's used stuff anyway.

 

[RunningGirl]

Have to agree with PP's that I would not appreciate this type of exchange. My kids, when they were of the age, did not have a lot of toys. And what if someone brings in a gift that another child had given them as a birthday gift? Looks like regifting to me. I'd rather do a toy drive for needy kids. That I could fully support.

 

[Ember]

The more I think about this, the more outraged I get. "No books"? Really? What kind of school discourages a love and appreciation of reading?

We give the kids a book (from the teachers), the school give them a book (from the admin), and they get a book from the library teacher as well. So they're already getting three books. The "no books" thing came in because when one child gets a toy and another a book, there was upset. So we thought that with so many books already being given, a toy was best.

As for all the haters, it's not my idea. All of div. 1 does it, but I thought it was rather a nice gesture. Oh well, you can never please everyone.

 

[design_mom]

I'm also the mother of a first grader and I wouldn't be crazy about that kind of gift exchange either. I honestly can't think of any of our toys that would fit the guidelines.
-- DD's favorites (webkinz, jigsaw puzzles, board games) are mostly under your price range. DD would happily give away her Barbie dolls, but those are under the range too.
-- We have Leapster games, but what if the recipient doesn't' have a Leapster?
-- We have some Lego sets that might work, but after we build them for the first time, we dump all the pieces in a big bin. It would take me *hours* to fish out the right ones.
-- Many of our toys (like Legos) become "family toys" and giving away certain things would not only be giving away *her* item, but also her brother's.

DD's Elementary school collects money/food/books/coats for a "sister school" in an economically depressed area, and we participate in that. They do not do a gift exchange.

DD's preschool did a book exchange (wrapped books), but the cost of the book was to be $3 or less. It was announced far enough in advance that you could order your book through the Scholastic book order... and there were plenty of $3 options in there. (We also found some in the bookstore.) I was "fine" with that exchange... but I would have been fine without one, too.

 

[olwyngdh]

My DD8's class is doing a used book gift exchange--the hope is that it will give every kid something new to read over Christmas break. I don't have a problem with this at all, but I am having a hard time getting DD to give up one of her books, even if she is getting a different one in exchange

 

[kirstenb1]

Our school doesn't do gift exchanges.

OP, maybe you could make the suggestion that the children do a collection of new toys for "Toys for Tots" or whatever your local charity is. Since it's an affluent area, probably the kids don't need extra toys from each other.

 

[Hannathy]

My DS's class does it over 3 days. the first 2 days they bring in a gift for 25-50 cents, these are brought in the day before and the teachers put them in a brown bag with the person who they are going to's name on it then on the 3rd they bring in the main gift not to exceed $5.

I wouldn't like the used toy either and the value could vary so greatly that I could see some hurt feelings.

 

[NikitaZee]

Our school doesn't do a gift exchange like that, and I'm glad. We donate our children's toys to various charities - with their help, so they share in the spirit of giving. Some years have been hard - they didn't always understand the idea of charity and giving away toys that they once loved playing with. They don't need to do that at school. I agree with the PP who said they'd rather the kids donate to the food pantry - that's what our school is doing right now.

 

[Christine]

I don't care for this type of gift exchange. We would have never been able to do it. Like another poster, we didn't have a lot of toys at home and didn't hang on to excess ones.

We probably would have had to go out and buy a new toy.

Having said that, I'll tell you what I think you should do.

Since you live in an affluent area, ask that each child go out and shop for a new toy (value the same) and bring it in for Toys for Tots. Then, if you really want to do an exchange between kids, do a "book" exchange. There are tons of ways to do this. Have the kids pick out books for their classmates.

Then you've done the charitable thing doing Toys for Tots and you given book gifts which are educational and kids would probably be thrilled to read a book picked out by a classmate.

 

[Magic Mom]

Every year we do a gift exchange for the grade one students. We ask them to choose one toy of their own to wrap and bring in for the exchange. Letters go home to parents at the beginning of December, with notes on the original value of the toy ($15 - $25), no books, and about cleaning it before wrapping it. We try to stress that you should give something you'd like to receive.

We're in a very affluent area where many of the students are very well off, so this is a way of keeping giving from getting out of hand. (In the past we had parents bringing the whole class gifts, and then it would become a game of one-upmanship, with kids wanting to know why so and so brought everyone gifts, but this child didn't... ) I think it also stresses the giving rather than the getting, as the children are choosing something of their own to give away, in the hopes that their classmates will like it as much as they did.

We also tie it into social studies about sharing and giving, being part of a group and a community.

Well, this year out of 16 students who participated we had 7 new gifts, most way above the original limit. Thankfully, all the children seemed happy with their gift, but it was really disappointing. I'm not sure if the parents were trying to show off, if they were unwilling to let their child give away their own toy, or if the kid refused so they just bought something new. But it felt like the whole point of the exchange was lost.

The exchange has worked very well in the past, this year just seemed to fall flat.

If your school does student gift exchanges, how do they work?

No offense, but I would not participate in that gift exchange, and if I did I would purchase new. I don't understand the reasoning behind having to bring their own toys. What if a family buys very few toys for their child?

If you want to keep it under control, have a book exchange. Each child brings 1 book to exchange.

 

[HelenePA]

I would have been one of "those" parents who bought a new gift.. with 4 kids toys get played with HARD here... I can not think of any that would be okay to give as a gift to another child worth 15-25$ new! Only one of my children will be doing an exchange.. the limit is $5 I'm also sending in 2 extras "just in case". Last year only my one dd did it and the limit was $3 do you know how hard it is to buy something for under $3?