Christmas vent already

[golfgal]

Last year we had DH's family here for Christmas, first time in 18 years DH and I didn't have to travel for Christmas (we do Christmas with his family the Saturday before). Several of his siblings stayed at a local hotel and the kids had a grand time swimming in the pool. My MIL felt we should make this an annual event, spending our Christmas time at a hotel so no one has to do any prep work, cooking, etc. Great.

I suggested we go to a resort that we have stayed at many times and have always had a great time. They have a HUGE indoor waterpark that is fun for all ages of kids (the kids range from 1-13 years old). It would be about a 2 hour drive for everyone in the family, which I though was reasonable. When I suggested that my MIL just looks at me and said "well who wants to drive that far for Christmas"? Well, it would be SHORTER for us and DH's one brother and his family to go there then the hotel, Comfort Inn, in their town which is a 3 hour drive for us now.

Sometimes it just bugs me when they don't consider the rest of the family in their plans. When our DS was the only grandchild they (the rest of the family) always complained that we didn't visit often enough, yet they never came to our place-the only time DH's sister has ever come to visit us was Christmas last year and for DS's Baptism and First Communion-in 18 years remember. Then everyone else started having kids and started complaining about how much traveling with kids was a pain in the rear, oh really.

I am still trying to figure out how to get them to someplace more central so we aren't stuck doing all the driving, again!

 

[RadioFanatic]

I would respond to your MIL what you told us - that you would like to cut the distance and make it fair for EVERYONE, including yourself and BIL and that's why you suggested that place.

 

[Jasminesmommy]

I feel your pain.I moved to indiana 2 years ago and every holiday i travel back to Chicago which is a good 3 hours and noone comes here. This christmas though I said i am doing it at my homeso hopefully they come. They are all complaining how far it is. No kidding.

 

[EthansMom]

Spending time with extended family members is one of the blessings and curses of the Holiday Season.

Honestly, golfgal, when my brother and I got older (late high school/early college years) there was finally one year when no one in our immediate family wanted to travel all the way to Grandma's house for Thanksgiving (and sleep on the floor, share one bathroom with 15 other people, and still sit at the kid's table at 20 years old). So we didn't.

If the hassles outweigh the enjoyment, then make alternative arrangements.

 

[golfgal]

I feel your pain.I moved to indiana 2 years ago and every holiday i travel back to Chicago which is a good 3 hours and noone comes here. This christmas though I said i am doing it at my homeso hopefully they come. They are all complaining how far it is. No kidding.

We always get "it's so far to go there, why don't you come here" because it is shorter coming from our house to their house then it is coming from their house to our house.

I did mention to my MIL that the driving distance would be equal for everyone, but that didn't do any good.

 

[RadioFanatic]

then don't do it - enjoy a nice Christmas at home. If they aren't willing to compromise (and I would put it that way to them) then you aren't willing to go at all.

 

[disneymom3]

We always get "it's so far to go there, why don't you come here" because it is shorter coming from our house to their house then it is coming from their house to our house.

I sooo know what you mean! Several years ago, my grandma died. She lived in the cities, so do I and one other sister but all other siblings are in another state. Several of them came out for the funeral. I was 7 months pregnant at the time, had a 5 yo who had just started kindergarten, was MOVING, AND had a not quite 1.5 yo baby. To top it all off, DH was out of town at his nephew's baptism as he was the godfather and you can't really plan ahead for a funeral. My sisters were staying at my other sister's house and I invited them to come up one of the nights for dinner and dessert. I was informed that it was really far to drive and they didn't want to come that far when they were here for such a short time and couldn't I drive down there? On a weeknight, by myself, an hour away.....oh yes, I can see the logic in that plan.

Sometimes families are just dumb!

 

[golfgal]

then don't do it - enjoy a nice Christmas at home. If they aren't willing to compromise (and I would put it that way to them) then you aren't willing to go at all.

We are home on Christmas, this is the weekend before Christmas, it is our "compromise" unfortunately. I would really like to say that if we can't meet half way we won't be coming but that will go over like a lead balloon.

 

[RadioFanatic]

well, it's time to stand up for yourself. Does your dh agree with you or them? Last year, dh and I decided to stay home for christmas - yes, it went over like a lead balloon, but you know what? it was the most enjoyable christmas I had in a long time. and yes, you're compromising the time, but everyone should also compromise the place - good luck!

 

[Alicnwondrln]

sorry
sounds like my mom and sister
they live about a hour and ahalf away in Nirthern NH
they NEVER NEVER come here but call me constantly complaining that I never come there
they drive my nuts

 

[MsLeFever]

Can you afford to pay for their hotel room? It's probably too late this year - but maybe if the hotel room was their Christmas present it would be harder for them to refuse to travel! Devious.

 

[binny]

ahhh yes the age old problem.. " But its so FAR to your house"

I cant tell you many times weve heard that over the years!


Yep, your house is so much closer to drag 3 kids to


Good luck, wish I had some advice for you but just know youre not alone.

 

[princess momma]

I feel your pain. It seems like we spend from Thanksgiving to January driving around. My SIL gives us a list of exactly what to get her kids. Sometimes we have a hard time finding the exact item and drive all over looking for it. And then she calls to make sure we have gotten what she told us to. We usually find out she has allready purchased it in case we couldn't find it. Last year we just wrote her a check - she had purchased the toy, wrapped it, and signed the card. I want the kids to get something they like, but I think we should have some options - maybe a list with more than 1 thing on it. It just takes the joy out of giving gifts.

And then there's the organizing when you see each family, which just gets more complicated every year - factor in the divorces and who gets the kids when. Plus, my sister and I are both nurses and have to work holidays. I don't think we've made it to the same get together in 10 years.

I don't know about you but I'm ready to just go on a DisneyCruise and forget about the whole thing. Now if I could just convince my husband ...

 

[minkydog]

sorry
sounds like my mom and sister
they live about a hour and ahalf away in Nirthern NH
they NEVER NEVER come here but call me constantly complaining that I never come there
they drive my nuts

Tell them the road goes both ways. We live 400 miles from our families and we have been hearing it for 24years. My family comes several times a year, but DH family almost never comes--oh that's right, SIL came. Once. When DH had a brain tumor. But she left. "He's not sick enough."

 

[golfgal]

well, it's time to stand up for yourself. Does your dh agree with you or them? Last year, dh and I decided to stay home for christmas - yes, it went over like a lead balloon, but you know what? it was the most enjoyable christmas I had in a long time. and yes, you're compromising the time, but everyone should also compromise the place - good luck!

Dh doesn't see what the "big deal" is but he also isn't the one that has to do the shopping, get everything packed, get the house ready to go out of town, get the car prepped, pack up the car, get the kids to get their stuff ready and so on. He comes home from work and hops in the car . They were looking at one hotel that had a indoor waterpark that was close to their house. We had stayed there and told them that it wasn't a good place to stay. The tables and such around the pool area were not plentiful enough, the pool was VERY crowded always and the food at the hotel was horrible. They looked anyway. Whatever.

 

[mrsltg]

yikes! Sounds like quite a situation. We refuse to travel on Christmas. We made a deal before we were married that once the oldest was 3 (with a firm belief in Santa) we would not be going anywhere for Christmas. We, too, hear all about how far it is to our house. Meanwhile, my in-laws are retired and hardly come to visit. My parents also live 5 hours away and a lot of the time I am expected to come to them - with the kids (5 and 5mos) by myself. Honestly, you can't win for loosing!

Erin

 

[golfgal]

Well, they made reservations at an Americinn right by their house, a 3 hour drive for us. I just found out that the twins have their first basketball games that same day. I work with a Christmas charity and that is also our distribution day that I was going to miss. I think I might go for part of that, then go to the twins' games and we will get there when we get there.

 

[Disney Ella]

Dh doesn't see what the "big deal" is but he also isn't the one that has to do the shopping, get everything packed, get the house ready to go out of town, get the car prepped, pack up the car, get the kids to get their stuff ready and so on. He comes home from work and hops in the car .

That's exactly what it's like at my house too. It's a lot of work going away. Much nicer just to stay at home.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

Not that it helps but I feel your pain! I will end up getting up early Christmas Day and driving 2 hours to my SIL. I just HATE it so much! What can you do? We switch off every other year going for either Thanksgiving or Christmas. The worst is they really don't care if any of us but DH are there! But I love him too much to make him go alone! I should add doing it all in 1 day is my choice (no way am I spending the night!)

I think my reward will be a trip to Disney in Feb. I'll take my planning books and enjoy the day reading and planning with the kids! Ya gotta make the best of it I guess!