Choosing between family members while at WDW

[Abra Cat]

We're planning a trip to WDW for our 10th wedding anniversary in December. We will have our kids with us, and they'll be 6, 3 and 3 months when we go. When we found out I was pregnant, we invited my husband's mother to join us (she lives in Florida) for a little extra help with the kids (we've visited before with our two older kids, but never with an infant), and we would pay her way. She agreed, and we went ahead making plans. Then a few weeks ago, my husband was talking to her on the phone and he mentioned the dates of our trip, and she realized she had screwed up the dates and scheduled herself on a cruise during the same week we'd be at WDW. She didn't think she could get out of it, but she said she'd try, and meanwhile my husband and I considered other options.

So a week went by, and then two, and she still didn't have a definite answer for us. Then a week and a half ago she sent an email saying that she was walking out the door to leave on a trip with her sister, and she'd call when she got back. Turns out, she went to Alaska on a whim! So my husband decided she probably wasn't going to be able to go with us, otherwise she would have mentioned it (knowing we were waiting for an answer) and I invited my cousin (who also lives in Florida) to join us, although only for the first few days of our trip, instead of the full week we'd invited my mother-in-law for. My cousin said she'd love to go, but wouldn't know for a while how much vacation time she'd have from work, so I told her to try and let me know by August. I think you can probably guess where this is going... My mother-in-law got back from her trip Monday night, called my husband and said she got out of her cruise plans and will be going to WDW with us! Specifically, she said she would join us for the first three days of our trip— the same days I already invited my cousin (although she never gave me a definite answer).

I'm glad my mother-in-law will be able to join us. I'd like to see my cousin (my closest relative). But I'd rather they both didn't visit us at once. They barely know each other, and I'd just as soon not try to make two totally different people comfortable together while on my vacation. I know my cousin won't mind if I change the dates I invited her for so their visits don't overlap, but now that my husband and I have had some time to think about it, we feel comfortable with dealing with the kids at the parks by ourselves for a couple days, and were now actually looking forward to it. The obvious solution to my "problem" is to invite my cousin to visit later in the week, but I'm feeling a bit selfish, and would like to have some family time with just my husband and our kids while we're on vacation.

So, how do we see both my mother-in-law and my cousin, without shortchanging either of them, and still get family time by ourselves? I've considered extending our vacation so we can visit the town they both live in, but aside from cost, I'd rather not do that. We just bought our house in January, and we also have four cats, so I'd rather not be away from the house or the cats for longer than a week. Suggestions would be appreciated!

 

[Lisa96]

Wow, that's a sticky situation! Could you explain to your cousin that your MIL changed her plans to come, and while you appreciate her offer of help, you'd rather visit her when it's not so hectic? If you really do want to see her, maybe you could plan a special day just for the two of you-during the days MIL is around- and let DH and MIL take the kids while you and cousin go to the spa or to tea or just lounge by the pool with "boat drinks" and gossip. That way she wouldn't have to use too much vacation, you'd get a much needed break, and the kids could spend time with their grandma - and you'd have the remaining time alone with your family.

Or ask if cousin can spend just two days with you starting on MIL's last day. Then you could do one day as "girls day" and ask cousin to watch the kids part of the next day while you and DH do something special together for your anniversary.

I think if you concentrate on letting your cousin know how grateful you are that she was willing to pitch in and help you that you will be able to work it out. Just talk to her NOW - if she has to ask for vacation time off it may be difficult later for her to change it and then she would be upset! She might not be as disappointed as you think (especially if you make alternate plans to see her) - as someone who often says "sure, I'll do that for you!" and then realizes I then have no time for myself, I am sometimes very happy when family change their plans and let me off the hook (as much as I love them!)

Just remember that it's a special trip for you, DH and family - you have important things like a new home, children, and a marriage to celebrate, so don't stress and have a great time!

 

[Abra Cat]

Thanks for the suggestions, Lisa. The spa one was my favorite. I'm still considering all options, but I think I'll just have to suck it up and break the trip up into three parts— mother-in-law part, family part, and cousin part. I'll probably invite my cousin for the last 2 days of our trip. One of those is a shopping/exploring the hotel day, so that's probably better just so she can spend more time with my kids (you think she's coming to see ME? Yeah, right... ). Thanks again for the great suggestions!

 

[Harryo]

Tell them all you canceled your trip!!!! LOL !!! Just kidding

 

[Abra Cat]

Don't think I haven't considered that!

Originally posted by Harryo
Tell them all you canceled your trip!!!! LOL !!! Just kidding