Children's behavior in hotels

[cccdisney]

I agree with what everyone is saying - being respectful in public places and parents watching their kids, etc but i just have to add one other perspective to all this. If you see a kid having a melt down or yelling at an inappropriate time, please keep in mind that it is possible that the child might be autistic or have some other "hidden" issue. Not that it's appropriate for them to yell either but it's a totally different story of how to handle it and it doesn't mean that the parents aren't doing their job, it's just a difficult situation. My DS (4.5) looks totally "normal" but will sometimes yell if it's too loud (like a loud restaurant) and he sometimes has immediate melt downs about small issues with little warning. I hope I'm not starting some sort of debate by saying this, i just wanted to give a different perspective on the subject.

Thank you for bringing this up!
I have a perfect example of this: my middle DS (6.5) is severely autistic. We were in DLR this past week with him and my youngest. Unfortunately we had meltdown after meltdown. We do avoid situations if at all possible - such as not doing sit-down restaurants.
As for hotels, he has serious sleeping issues. Usually every three or four nights he only sleeps about 5 hours. Unfortunately one of these nights was our last night there (we were at PPH). He woke up at 3:30. For an hour I was able to keep him quiet with the TV, but by 4:30 he was wide awake. My dh and I decided we needed to get him out of the hotel room so he didn't wake up his younger brother (or even worse the rooms around us!) He is VERY LOUD and hyper and is also constantly trying to get out of the room.
So by 4:45am he was strapped in his special stroller and heading down the street with my dh to have a very very early breakfast at Denny's! He then walked around the hotel lobby of GCH, though DTD, back around to PPH and let him play in the arcade room for awhile. He had him out of the room for over 2 hours, bless his heart!
This is a perfect example of how parents of special kids need to go above and beyond to keep peace. And most of us do so willingly.

 

[mom4princesses]

I too do not have children, but I have been a middle school teacher so I have spent a fair amount of time around kids. I make sure to commend children that are well behaved. They often light up that someone has taken notice of their efforts. When I see a family really enjoying themselves, all the while respectful of those around them, that, to me, is a magical moment.

On that note, when someone comments on how well behaved my children are they get a treat. So if we are out to dinner and they get a comment we get desert. If we are somewhere else it Sonic or McDonalds ice cream there choice.

Another thing we do is Tinks treasures. Every night when we return from the park they have a gift from Tinkerbell in the room waiting. This helps with the tantrum at the park when they want something we just remind them of the treasure waiting for them. I get sale items from the Disney Store, anything from pjs, stickers, shirts (I would have got for the trip anyway) and little toys. Tink only leaves treasures for little girls who behave and it seems to work for us. Just a few ideas that might help.

 

[LavenderPeach]

Thank you so much for sharing this! We have a daughter with ADD and a son with severe disabilities. He is 10 (and mobile like a 10 year old) but behaves more like a 1.5 year old. Running and happy noises and also loud, crying noises are common with our family. We always try to contain them as much as we can.

I hope that I am tolerant of other families' issues as well. You can usually tell when a parent is helping their child learn proper behavior versus just ignoring it. And sometimes those hard-working parents just need a smile or a genuine offer to help. Once, when alone with my children, one of them had a meltdown. It was so wonderful to have someone stop and ask if they could help....rather than just staring, pointing or smirking....
This kind person wasn't able to help my distressed child, but did help distract my other children until I was able to give them more of my attention.

That's awesome that someone stopped to help you during a meltdown!

I had to sort of laugh when you mentioned about parents ignoring the situation because DS was going through a yelling phase awhile back where he would yell to get a reaction out of us and the only way to try to stop it was to ignore him! It didn't happen too much in public but it was really hard not to at least LOOK like i was trying to stop him instead of just ignoring it since i knew other people were watching. But I know that's not what you meant.

On that note, when someone comments on how well behaved my children are they get a treat. So if we are out to dinner and they get a comment we get desert. If we are somewhere else it Sonic or McDonalds ice cream there choice.

Another thing we do is Tinks treasures. Every night when we return from the park they have a gift from Tinkerbell in the room waiting. This helps with the tantrum at the park when they want something we just remind them of the treasure waiting for them. I get sale items from the Disney Store, anything from pjs, stickers, shirts (I would have got for the trip anyway) and little toys. Tink only leaves treasures for little girls who behave and it seems to work for us. Just a few ideas that might help.

Those are great ideas!

 

[nunzia]

Thank you for bringing this up!
I have a perfect example of this: my middle DS (6.5) is severely autistic. We were in DLR this past week with him and my youngest. Unfortunately we had meltdown after meltdown. We do avoid situations if at all possible - such as not doing sit-down restaurants.
As for hotels, he has serious sleeping issues. Usually every three or four nights he only sleeps about 5 hours. Unfortunately one of these nights was our last night there (we were at PPH). He woke up at 3:30. For an hour I was able to keep him quiet with the TV, but by 4:30 he was wide awake. My dh and I decided we needed to get him out of the hotel room so he didn't wake up his younger brother (or even worse the rooms around us!) He is VERY LOUD and hyper and is also constantly trying to get out of the room.
So by 4:45am he was strapped in his special stroller and heading down the street with my dh to have a very very early breakfast at Denny's! He then walked around the hotel lobby of GCH, though DTD, back around to PPH and let him play in the arcade room for awhile. He had him out of the room for over 2 hours, bless his heart!
This is a perfect example of how parents of special kids need to go above and beyond to keep peace. And most of us do so willingly.

Bless you. I admire the commitment and love I see so from those with special needs kids. My oldest grandson has Aspergers, so there are some challenges there as well..not as difficult as yours by any means, but there are indicators we learn to watch for when we are out and about. Overall he is very well behaved and becomming more engaged, but his Mom and Dad especially work hard to know if something new can be done well or if it's time to just move on.

 

[fronkfam]

Thank you for bringing this up!
I have a perfect example of this: my middle DS (6.5) is severely autistic. We were in DLR this past week with him and my youngest. Unfortunately we had meltdown after meltdown. We do avoid situations if at all possible - such as not doing sit-down restaurants.
As for hotels, he has serious sleeping issues. Usually every three or four nights he only sleeps about 5 hours. Unfortunately one of these nights was our last night there (we were at PPH). He woke up at 3:30. For an hour I was able to keep him quiet with the TV, but by 4:30 he was wide awake. My dh and I decided we needed to get him out of the hotel room so he didn't wake up his younger brother (or even worse the rooms around us!) He is VERY LOUD and hyper and is also constantly trying to get out of the room.
So by 4:45am he was strapped in his special stroller and heading down the street with my dh to have a very very early breakfast at Denny's! He then walked around the hotel lobby of GCH, though DTD, back around to PPH and let him play in the arcade room for awhile. He had him out of the room for over 2 hours, bless his heart!
This is a perfect example of how parents of special kids need to go above and beyond to keep peace. And most of us do so willingly.

I know where you're coming from. We do a ton of walking with our little guy. Usually not at 4:30 in the morning....you guys are great!!

 

[fronkfam]

I had to sort of laugh when you mentioned about parents ignoring the situation because DS was going through a yelling phase awhile back where he would yell to get a reaction out of us and the only way to try to stop it was to ignore him! It didn't happen too much in public but it was really hard not to at least LOOK like i was trying to stop him instead of just ignoring it since i knew other people were watching. But I know that's not what you meant.

Glad you knew that wasn't what I meant. I didn't even think about that. But we've had to do similar things with our daughter....keep up the amazing work!

 

[fronkfam]

On that note, when someone comments on how well behaved my children are they get a treat. So if we are out to dinner and they get a comment we get desert. If we are somewhere else it Sonic or McDonalds ice cream there choice.

Another thing we do is Tinks treasures. Every night when we return from the park they have a gift from Tinkerbell in the room waiting. This helps with the tantrum at the park when they want something we just remind them of the treasure waiting for them. I get sale items from the Disney Store, anything from pjs, stickers, shirts (I would have got for the trip anyway) and little toys. Tink only leaves treasures for little girls who behave and it seems to work for us. Just a few ideas that might help.

What great ideas!!!

 

[*BTMRR*]

We finally made a rule that NO ONE is allowed to push elevator buttons AT ALL except for Mom or Dad. That stopped the grand elephant-stampede down the halls toward the elevator, and the fight over "who gets to push the button?" inside the elevator.

This made a huge difference in our enjoyment of our vacations! It sounds like a little thing but it has helped. Our kids are old enough now that we could probably relax the elevator button rule, but I'm not planning to any time soon!

We also don't allow jumping on the beds and we try to keep voices down (especially in the halls) but it is hard when the kids are so excited. Especially at Disney I expect reasonable, decent behavior but some kid noise is just a part of the atmosphere I guess.

 

[amym2]

As others have said, just that the fact that you bring up the point is evidence that your kids are most likely well behaved and responsible. We have stayed in numerous hotels and it's the door slamming that has always bothered me the most. We make sure our kids always close the door gently. We stayed in a hotel once and there were kids running in the hallways until 11pm. We all went to bed around 10pm and none of us could sleep. I opened the door once to see what all the noise was and of course there wasn't a parent in sight. Our kids are typically early risers (and will be up horribly early at DLR with our time change) so we emphasize before we leave the room that others are sleeping and they need to be quiet. I always try to use gentle reminders and positive reinforcement whenever possible.

 

[amym2]

Oh, and I love the comment about compliments. We ate in a very nice revolving restaurant when our kids were 4 and 6 and dinner took over 2 hours. When we were done, a lovely couple seated near us took the time to compliment our kids on their behavior. We were so proud and praised the kids tremendously. I've always thought we should make an effort to do that for others!

 

[pixiewings71]

We have the same rules, unfortunately others do not. At least in our experience they don't. We've had some really horrible issues with people in rooms next to us, one was soooooooooooo bad that DBF actually pounded on the wall between our rooms to get them to stop, but the only thing we heard was the kid saying "It wasn't meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" in a horrible high pitched whine...mind you, they woke us up at 5 AM with their whining and noise.....and the hotel did nothing about it, except to tell us they were full and couldn't move us, as if WE were the problem.......
but yes, our kids are expected to behave with respect to others, no running in the halls or jumping on beds or anything like that...

 

[nana50]

Bless you. I admire the commitment and love I see so from those with special needs kids. My oldest grandson has Aspergers, so there are some challenges there as well..not as difficult as yours by any means, but there are indicators we learn to watch for when we are out and about. Overall he is very well behaved and becoming more engaged, but his Mom and Dad especially work hard to know if something new can be done well or if it's time to just move on.

I'm a Nana of two aspergers grandchildren. One a 10 year old boy and a 7 year old girl. The girl has more meltdowns than the boy and it can be embarrassing. I'm learning how to deal with it though.

 

[Karlzmom]

I expect my child to behave as he would at home...with courtesy and respect for property and people.

As for others traveling with children, I would hope they would do the same but have learned not expect much...of course, can't expect much from many adults traveling alone...its unbelievable how obnoxious some grownups can be coming in late at night, especially when they are yelling in drunken/slurred voices!

 

[hobbit]

If you see a kid having a melt down or yelling at an inappropriate time, please keep in mind that it is possible that the child might be autistic or have some other "hidden" issue.

YES! Everyone should be VERY aware of this, and have compassion for the parents. I have a son with Aspergers and the problem is that they don't process normal commands very well, like; "Come here" or "Stop that". You can shout till the cows come home sometimes and there'll be no response, and at first glance it looks like there's something gone wrong in how the parents have taught the child. I usually end up having to actually go over and physically remove, force or wrestle with my son to get him to do as I am asking. He has trouble processing commands, but will respond to physically showing him what i want him to do, which can really drain you as he is very strong. That is why I usually think carefully before making the choice to put out a command for him; ie is this really important, and do I have the energy to follow through that might involve a wrestling match? I know there is nothing wrong with my discipline methods or "technique" in telling my child what to do as I was a nanny for a year once and those kids responded to me instantly.

 

[NVDisMom]

Special needs children aside...We have never had any issues with our children acting inappropriately during our hotel stays, restaurant visits, etc. I think it comes down to this: set a good example for your children, set firm boundaries when they are young and everything else will fall into place. My girls are appalled at the behavior at some of the other children they see and hear.

Special needs children require extra special understanding from their parents and others. The parents have an extra onerous job of maintaining normal schedules and being on the lookout for those all important indicators of potential melt down while attempting to give their child an experience of a lifetime in less than ideal conditions. Major kudos to those of you that pull it off successfully!

 

[femommy]

Your child is going to behave how they are trained to behave (special needs aside). I have been working with my children since they were little how to act in public places. It takes time and can't be done as you are traveling on your vacation. When I ask my school kids if they act the way that they are acting at home, they usually say worse

That aside three and 1/2 year olds do throw fits, they do kick and cry and scream. I have learned with mine that the calmer I get the calmer she gets, if I get worked up she will get worse. I am hoping that this will work for us next week. Fortunately she does have pretty good reasoning skills and I can usually talk her out of it.

For those of you with special needs children I commend you and the difficult task that you have. Your children need to experience the same things and they still need to have heard the boundaries. Good luck. Each child is so different and you as parents are the experts in their needs, not strangers.

 

[XTinabell]

For me without kids, I'm also super excited to be at DL so I'm far more tolerant of noisy children than I would under other circumstances I'm sure. As long as children are being respectful I will have no issues. By Respectful I just mean not tearing down the halls scratching at the wall paper and banging on doors, or pushing past me, that sort of thing.
If your child decides to have a fit outside the elevator while you're in the elevator please do not hold the doors open waiting for the child. Get out and let me use the elevator while you deal with your child please. That's all for me.

 

[FlameGirl]

Oh man...

When we stayed at PPH in December, there was a family next door to us that was awful. AWFUL. Up at the crack of dawn, the mom screeching at her kids, kids running up and down the halls knocking on doors, jumping on the beds...you name it. I had it one night and went next door to speak with them. The grandpa opened the door and just looked at me and said "Is it too much?"

I told him that yes, it really was, and that my daughter was actually trying to do her homework that we brought with us. He apologized profusely and then things got REAL quiet.

I went over there expecting a fight and was really, really appreciative when he was understanding and compliant. I saw him in the park the next day and we smiled at each other.

 

[heatherleigh]

Flameg, that was really nice of you to go speak w/ them yourself, rather than call the front desk immediately. I would have appreciated that too. I wanted to add one more thing (and my kids have been guilty of this too): try not to let your kids block the elevator when you are waiting for it. What I mean is, people may be trying to get off of it, and it's a pain for them to have a kid standing in the way.

 

[Eeyore's Wife]

When we were there in December we stayed in the family suite on the first floor just a few steps from the sundries store. We had no neighbors on the left or the right and no one beneath us. The noise abatement wall did a great job silencing the freeway. It was a wonderful room and while my teens and baby are not overly loud, I didn't worry that we were bothering anyone, nor were we bothered.