Children.

[ktbutterfly2011]

Yeah but do you know how much confusion that would cause. And time, that would take forever. Trust me it takes like forever for them to get your background check back.

That would never work. Nothing's going to change.

People who don't have enough time for children now, are not bad parents.

Yeah, I do know. Thats another reason why i'm saying a background check would never work.

I didn't say that people who don't have enough time for children were bad parents. I said someone who cared about their job more than their child was a bad parent and they are obviously.

 

[BabyPiglet]

That is an awesome law. That is a very awesome law. That is a law that deserves a supercalifragilisticexbealidocious because it's so awesome. Wow. I love that law.



Bad ones don't even bother to get a sitter?
It's a law around here that if there are children under the age of 8 or 9 (don't remember) without an 8 or 9 year old there, the parents are fined. There are charges against them.

My family is a foster home. We have fostered 10+ children. Some have been bad and we've seen their old homes. We've seen the damage done. One in particular had a huge scar running across her face. She says her father did it when she was around 5. Imagine that. It's depressing. I love being a foster family. Another story is of a little girl who hit. She hit and hit and hit. She hit when she was just a little mad. She was very physical. Imagine her past. It's hideous. For my foster program, we had to wait, one time, 5 years before getting another child. There either is a.) a lot of foster families or b.) not that many abuses.

What is that sitter thing supposed to mean? It makes no sense.

Don't even talk about Foster Care with me sweetie. We were a foster home, we had 50+ kids come through our house. I don't have enough time for all the horrible stories. A lot of foster families? Are you kidding me? You are right? Oh please only maybe if you live in perfect town. Around here they are scrounging to get someone to take the kids, they sometimes even have to take them acrosss state line. Not that many abuses? Don't even get me started.

I don't know what was up with your family, but obviously you don't know enough about the system or you live in perfect town.

We only fostered for one year and we had over 50 kids. It really is pathetic.

 

[ktbutterfly2011]

every case is different. Thats what a psychological analysis could show. A sociopath does not need children. Theres no real way to deny that. . A mentally unstable person does not need children. Children are enough to make the sanest person in the world crazy, let alone an already unstable one. Now, yeah, there are exceptions to everything. I'm sure there are some really nice sociopaths out there. and there are some great reformed murderers who would make good parents, and those that would, would pass the psychological analysis, but those that wouldn't, won't.

How would it be determined whether or not they passed?

 

[BabyPiglet]

Yeah, I do know. Thats another reason why i'm saying a background check would never work.

I didn't say that people who don't have enough time for children were bad parents. I said someone who cared about their job more than their child was a bad parent and they are obviously.

But not as bad a parents as one who beats their child every night. Or burns them with cigarettes or leave them in a car locked up in the middle of summer. Or one who rapes them all the time or a parent who lets their kids wonder in the middle of the highway.

There are some bad stuff out there.

 

[Sparx]

How would it be determined whether or not they passed?

the same way its determined if any one passes any other psychological analysis.......

 

[ktbutterfly2011]

But not as bad a parents as one who beats their child every night. Or burns them with cigarettes or leave them in a car locked up in the middle of summer. Or one who rapes them all the time or a parent who lets their kids wonder in the middle of the highway.

There are some bad stuff out there.

I know... but in my post I was trying to make a point about people that would pass under the physilogical analasys test, not people that wouldn't pass. I came up with an example that probably wouldn't be detected by the test.

 

[ktbutterfly2011]

the same way its determined if any one passes any other psychological analysis.......

Yeah... but it'd have to be different for having children, because of the reasons I said before. You can't just say, oh you're insane you can't have children or Oh you're sane, you're good to go! It wouldnt' be able to work that way. Some perfectly sane people just wouldn't be good parents.

 

[BabyPiglet]

I know... but in my post I was trying to make a point about people that would pass under the physilogical analasys test, not people that wouldn't pass. I came up with an example that probably wouldn't be detected by the test.

Yeah but this is all wonder talk anyway. If we really wanted to prevent bad parenting we would erase the human race. You never really can tell if someone is going to be a great parents or not. The most "perfect" family you could see..might not be that perfect.

 

[ktbutterfly2011]

Yeah but this is all wonder talk anyway. If we really wanted to prevent bad parenting we would erase the human race. You never really can tell if someone is going to be a great parents or not. The most "perfect" family you could see..might not be that perfect.

Uh... okay?

 

[BabyPiglet]

Uh... okay?

Tell me what you don't get Katie. Because if we honestly would only let perfectly suitable parents to have children we would erase the human race. Think about it.

A lot of parents who aren't "bad" parents aren't perfect ones either. There is a thread on the CB about letting your underage kids drink alcohol in the house, that would be considered bad parenting but I am sure those parents do whatever they can.

 

[tinkerbell12]

Don't even talk about Foster Care with me sweetie. We were a foster home, we had 50+ kids come through our house. I don't have enough time for all the horrible stories. A lot of foster families? Are you kidding me? You are right? Oh please only maybe if you live in perfect town. Around here they are scrounging to get someone to take the kids, they sometimes even have to take them acrosss state line. Not that many abuses? Don't even get me started.

I don't know what was up with your family, but obviously you don't know enough about the system or you live in perfect town.

We only fostered for one year and we had over 50 kids. It really is pathetic.

Jenny. Please. Breathe. It's. OK. I can tell you're very opinionated on this subject. Breathe.

1st off- The sitter thing. I don't know if you mean the law around here or not and I don't want to hurt my carpals writing a whole page on it. You want info? Ask but I'm not sure.

2nd- My town is not perfect. We've just not had to have many children. I don't know. Please don't try to blame it on me. Fostering is not pathetic. It's wonderful. I'm sure you didn't mean it but that's how I interpreted it at first. Fostering is scary. You see how people have treated children. We had a baby whom's at lest half of her bones were broken from being dropped. Many times. Over 50 kids? In one year? Wow, that's a lot. We've had only about 20 kids in 5 years. (Sorry, I pressed 10 on the previous post instead of 20) It's scary, yea. It feels wonderful knowing you've helped someone.

I don't get why your post seemed so angry. I don't understand. Jenny, we're on the same side. We both approve of fostering. I'm not sure
I understand.

 

[ktbutterfly2011]

Tell me what you don't get Katie. Because if we honestly would only let perfectly suitable parents to have children we would erase the human race. Think about it.

A lot of parents who aren't "bad" parents aren't perfect ones either. There is a thread on the CB about letting your underage kids drink alcohol in the house, that would be considered bad parenting but I am sure those parents do whatever they can.

The first paragraph seems to be headed a little by anger. Please don't be angry at me, i'm not angry at you.

Its not that I don't "get it", its just that I do understand your point but, I dunno I thought we were acting like this is a real thing that could actually happen.

But, whatever this is just a thread, a topic, something thats never going to happen and I'm having such a good day that I'm going to let it go.

 

[BabyPiglet]

Jenny. Please. Breathe. It's. OK. I can tell you're very opinionated on this subject. Breathe.

1st off- The sitter thing. I don't know if you mean the law around here or not and I don't want to hurt my carpals writing a whole page on it. You want info? Ask but I'm not sure.

2nd- My town is not perfect. We've just not had to have many children. I don't know. Please don't try to blame it on me. Fostering is not pathetic. It's wonderful. I'm sure you didn't mean it but that's how I interpreted it at first. Fostering is scary. You see how people have treated children. We had a baby whom's at lest half of her bones were broken from being dropped. Many times. Over 50 kids? In one year? Wow, that's a lot. We've had only about 20 kids in 5 years. (Sorry, I pressed 10 on the previous post instead of 20) It's scary, yea. It feels wonderful knowing you've helped someone.

I don't get why your post seemed so angry. I don't understand. Jenny, we're on the same side. We both approve of fostering. I'm not sure
I understand.

Sorry it's just I have a very big mouth. I didn't mean foster care was pathetic I was speaking of the number of abused children we've had. And that is pathetic.

I am just very very opinionated and I took it as you were saying child abuse isn't a big problem, which I understand now you weren't...

My dream is to be a social worker and change foster care, make the "system" better.

It pains me to see those kids. We had one girl who was locked up in a car on a hot summer day with the windows rolled up. She went into a coma b/c she was only 5 weeks old and after that she had permenent brain damage. We had her for 4 months until get this, they gave her back to her mother!

Some things just boggle me.

Sorry about seeming big mouthed, I just...well yeah...Sorry.

 

[Sparx]

Yeah... but it'd have to be different for having children, because of the reasons I said before. You can't just say, oh you're insane you can't have children or Oh you're sane, you're good to go! It wouldnt' be able to work that way. Some perfectly sane people just wouldn't be good parents.

With a psychological analysis, it would detect HUGE problems that would be sociopathic tendencies. Which, I dunno if you know that much about psychology, but you don't want to hand a sociopath a child.

A psychological analysis couldn't tell if you'd be a good parent or not. but it could tell if you had some disorder which would cause someone to not want you to have a child.

There is no way to fix a sociopath. You just can't do it. Extensive therapy can't make them 'normal'. There is no medication. They're just the way they are. They have no conscience. They have no formation of "right" or "wrong", and you can't teach them. They view things as black or white.

Someone like that can not be a good parent. Someone like that would neglect or hurt a child.

Yeah, you couldn't weed out everyone, but if you can stop one child from being neglected or abused, I think its worth it.

Now, it'll never happen and nothing is changing, but in an ideal world, it would work that way.

 

[BabyPiglet]

The first paragraph seems to be headed a little by anger. Please don't be angry at me, i'm not angry at you.

Its not that I don't "get it", its just that I do understand your point but, I dunno I thought we were acting like this is a real thing that could actually happen.

But, whatever this is just a thread, a topic, something thats never going to happen and I'm having such a good day that I'm going to let it go.

No I am not angry, I was trying to get you to understand. I'm not angry about a fictitial thing.

Sorry I've come across that way.

I just have a strong opinion on parenting and things.

Sorry again

 

[2HOT2touch]

Sorry it's just I have a very big mouth. I didn't mean foster care was pathetic I was speaking of the number of abused children we've had. And that is pathetic.

I am just very very opinionated and I took it as you were saying child abuse isn't a big problem, which I understand now you weren't...

My dream is to be a social worker and change foster care, make the "system" better.

It pains me to see those kids. We had one girl who was locked up in a car on a hot summer day with the windows rolled up. She went into a coma b/c she was only 5 weeks old and after that she had permenent brain damage. We had her for 4 months until get this, they gave her back to her mother!

Some things just boggle me.

Sorry about seeming big mouthed, I just...well yeah...Sorry.

That is because parents will push and push and push to get their children back. like i said most parents don't know that they are bad parents and even if they do, they don't want their flesh and blood to be taken away from them. If you had a child would you want them to be taken away?(whether or not you are a good parent) Some people will do ANYTHING to get their children back, I'm sure many of them even sue. And some take classes and prove to be better parents. I agree with you that it is wrong that the parents are given back their children in most cases, but you can't change that, people go to great lengths when something close to them such as their children are taken away from them.

 

[BabyPiglet]

That is because parents will push and push and push to get their children back. like i said most parents don't know that they are bad parents and even if they do, they don't want their flesh and blood to be taken away from them. If you had a child would you want them to be taken away?(whether or not you are a good parent) Some people will do ANYTHING to get their children back, I'm sure many of them even sue. And some take classes and prove to be better parents. I agree with you that it is wrong that the parents are given back their children in most cases, but you can't change that, people go to great lengths when something close to them such as their children are taken away from them.

Calm Jenny...

Okay well she is a bad parent. She done it on purpose. It's awful. It's horrible. It's savage.

They wouldn't win a lawsuit unless the State honestly did take a kid for absolutely no reason. But that doesn't happen often at all.

I honestly couldn't care less how the parents are feeling. I want them to cry and moan and whine because they miss there children. I want them to suffer. Child abuse is not exceptable, at all. And no matter how much they say they will be better parents, I will never believe them because normally the kids will be in the system again soon.

It may seem harsh, but I don't think so. And I don't care.

I will never try to see it from the parents point of view.

 

[2HOT2touch]

Calm Jenny...

Okay well she is a bad parent. She done it on purpose. It's awful. It's horrible. It's savage.

They wouldn't win a lawsuit unless the State honestly did take a kid for absolutely no reason. But that doesn't happen often at all.

I honestly couldn't care less how the parents are feeling. I want them to cry and moan and whine because they miss there children. I want them to suffer. Child abuse is not exceptable, at all. And no matter how much they say they will be better parents, I will never believe them because normally the kids will be in the system again soon.

It may seem harsh, but I don't think so. And I don't care.

I will never try to see it from the parents point of view.

I COMPLETELY agree with you, I think that the parents should suffer as much as they made their children suffer. But I was just showing you why they let those kind of things happen. And there are ways that parents can win lawsuits. I want to be a lawyer for this sort of thing, so it is logical for me to look at both sides of the case.

 

[BabyPiglet]

I COMPLETELY agree with you, I think that the parents should suffer as much as they made their children suffer. But I was just showing you why they let those kind of things happen. And there are ways that parents can win lawsuits. I want to be a lawyer for this sort of thing, so it is logical for me to look at both sides of the case.

Yes I understand. But around here when a child is taken the only way they get them back is they show they have changed by going to anger managment and parenting classes. Getting there life together, having a clean home and then the judge might show mercy on them.

We had a little girl named Angela she was 6. She was a big ball of energy, always boucing off the walls. When we got her her entire arm was bruised. She had cigearette burns all up both of her legs. And a burn in her mouth from a cigarette. Her hair was chopped off. And she had a huge scar down her stomach to her pelvic region. It was horrible.

Mercy. Her parents should get no mercy.

 

[2HOT2touch]

Yes I understand. But around here when a child is taken the only way they get them back is they show they have changed by going to anger managment and parenting classes. Getting there life together, having a clean home and then the judge might show mercy on them.

We had a little girl named Angela she was 6. She was a big ball of energy, always boucing off the walls. When we got her her entire arm was bruised. She had cigearette burns all up both of her legs. And a burn in her mouth from a cigarette. Her hair was chopped off. And she had a huge scar down her stomach to her pelvic region. It was horrible.

Mercy. Her parents should get no mercy.

I'm sure that is the only way pretty much everywhere. But there are people who cheat the system, just like people cheat any kind of system. That is why I want to put all those people away and never let them out.

My best friend in 3rd grade was abused by her mother, she burned her hair off and would put her cigarretes out on her scalp and she would throw things at my friend. My friend's father got costody of her but her 3 sisters still lived with their mother. And when she would go over there for visits she would be abused all over again. She is really messed up now, so I know what it is like to see people like this and have them be really close to you. But the law is not fair and you can't do much about it. Again why I want to be a lawyer.