Children & Sleeping

[WDWorBUST]

How do I get my 6 year old DD to sleep by herself in HER bed in HER room? She says she's scared (which of course makes it harder).....but there has to be a less painful way than just making her do it (which I can't do anyway). Any ideas??

 

[shinysparklybubbles]

what is she scared of? You can give her monster spray (a squirt bottle with water that you decorate to say go away monster spray) that you can mist the room with before she goes to sleep. Supernanny has some great ideas (like sitting in her room and moving farther away each night.

http://www.supernanny.com/Advice/-/Your-child/-/Child-care/Get-your-child-to-sleep-alone.aspx

 

[DrMomof3]

We let my daughter pick out special princess bedding and got her a matching princess nightlight. Someone sits with her until she's asleep. She's been in her own room for a full week now!

Amanda

 

[mjkacmom]

None of our children ever slept with us, even when they were babies, but dd7 had some nightmare issues, and I had NO CLUE how to deal with getting her out of our bed. Turns out that if I offered up chocolate ice cream for breakfast if she stayed in her room all night, she'd do it. She now shares a room with dd8, and we haven't had an issue since.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Well, we tried everything and nothing worked with DS. We did make him sleep on a matress on our floor after about age 5 but he just had to outgrow it. He was older than 6.sorry. WE are now trying to get DGS 3 out of our bed. Ya think we would have learned.

 

[sunnyday123]

Good luck. DD has some major seperation issues because of her Dad's girlfriend ( long story and she's not in the picture any longer ) so I ended up with a 10 year old in my room. Maybe let her sleep in a shirt of yours so you can "hug" her all night? Monster spray is a good one, I did that when DD was little and afraid of the "booger monster" ( he wasn't the boogey monster in our house!) I also worked it into her allowance once she was over the ohmygodareyoustillhere panic attacks. Best money I ever spent.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

My now 5yo DS had some security issues after my DH left for Iraq when he was 3 and he got into the habit of sleeping in my bed and I wasn't getting any sleep. Finally the summer before kindergarten we started putting 3 pennies on the floor in the doorway of his bedroom. Each time he got up (except to go potty) he would lose a penny. If he got in my bed before 6am he lost all 3 pennies (he has a digital clock in his room). Whatever pennies were left in the morning he got to keep. We did it for about 2 weeks before he got it down, but he rarely lost any pennies. And we also let him play with small quiet toys in his bed until he fell asleep and made sure he was very active during the day so he could learn to fall asleep on his own easily.

It's worked very well, although we do have to start over with it again after he's been sick and is getting better because I let him sleep with us when he's sick so I can watch him. Oh, it also helps that he goes to bed at the same time as everyone else so there aren't any other kids up while he has to be in bed.

 

[wtrmlnlabs]

yeah, what is it that she's scared of? I'd assume you already have a night light, that helped DS. We did have issues with him when we was 3. I had to go "sleep" on his floor until he fell asleep. What I was told to do was do this and slowly move away from his bed. Over time you'd end up outside the room. I didn't get this far as I was 6-7 months pregnant with DS #2. After a short time I realized I could NOT breathe laying on the floor like that. I told DS this and he understood and was fine in his own bed after that. I have no idea why this worked, but I'm more than happy it did!!! He also prefers having the bunk beds, he was starting to have issues again at about 5 and asked for bunk beds. Now, as long as brother is sleeping in the room too, he's good. OR he'll ask if the dog can sleep in the room with him... don't know if you have a dog and can do this, but it makes him feel safe... before we go to bed we'd bring her out of the room... but we've really only done this once or twice.

 

[Tam1067]

My middle son has severe anxiety which was causing him not to sleep because he was scared to be in his room. Last summer, at the height of his panic attack problems, he would be up for several hours, and someone had to be outside his room or in the room befoer he'd sleep, and even that did not always work. I decided that this was beyond normal (he had some other behaviors that were troubling too). So we started therapy.

He now sees a therapist for the anxiety. Her techniques--which have worked very well for him--are that he's supposed to read for 10-15 minutes (he likes that), do deep breathing (in through the nose, out through the mouth), and to listen to relaxing music. He's supposed to think of pleasant thoughts, so at first, he and I would choose three different things that could make him happy, and he was supposed to make a list of all the reasons why he liked those things. For instance, one of his "things" was Disney, so he'd go through the list of what parts of the Disney trip were fun. If he ran out of those things and was still awake, then he'd move on to one of the other ideas. He was supposed to think about these things while he did his breathing, listened to the music, and was laying down.

His personal choice for music, which I bought in the stantionery section at Target, is Hawaiian music, so I tease him that he's pretending he's at the Polynesian.

Anyway, he does very well now with these simple techniques. Once in a while, he has some issues and gets up, but I just remind him to go back, do his breathing, and try again, and he's always been able to make it. Even if your daughter is not one with other anxiety issues like my son has, I think these types of techniques might help her. They changed our life.

I wish you the best.

 

[krcit]

I did a sticker chart with my ds. he was crazy about webkinz so we had a deal that if he got 14 stickers he would get a Webkinz. It worked for him. Good luck. I know it's so hard.

 

[nmmom95]

Bribery. It worked. We also set short goals, like if you sleep in you room for one night, then two, etc. It took a while. Good luck!

 

[AJRitz]

We let our youngest come up with his own "defenses".
He has explained to us that he has two crocodiles that live under his bed and play music with him. They also chase away the monsters.

 

[WDWorBUST]

These are all great ideas.....I have tried bribery, I lay down with her to go to sleep but it's getting harder as she is getting bigger. And she still wakes up and ends up in our bed between 11pm and 2am typically. No one in our house is sleeping well which makes it harder to be tough and stick with anything and something has to give. As far as being scared she says it is of the dark. But her room has a fish tank in it that is brighter than a nightlight so it isn't really dark in there. We did have our dogs crate in there and Maddy slept in DD's room....but Maddy died which I think might be a trigger to a lot of the problems we're having with her. (It was a freak accident and Maddy was her dog and only 18 months old) I just don't know what to do. This last week I've just let her sleep with us and not even made it an issue - well I say us....it has gotten so uncomfortable that DH ended up in her bed a couple of nights. I feel like I'm failing her because I just don't seem to have the energy to do what is necessary to get her past this.

 

[katykate]

LOVE the monster spray idea!! hehehe

 

[shinysparklybubbles]

I know a 6 year old vs 1 year old are two totally different situations, but my 1 year old was not STTN and it was making everyone miserable, and like you I would just bring him into bed with us because that way we all got sleep. After many failed attempts (on my part because I would cave) we decided that a 4 day weekend was when we were going to suck it up and work on the issue. That way we had a long weekend to try and catch up on the missed sleep we would get while trying a form of cry it out.

What you said about the dog dieing in her room may have a huge part to do with it. When I was younger my friend's dog had to be "put to sleep" well that scare the crapola out of all us, thinking we'd never wake up once we went to sleep. I'm not sure how to talk it out with her to explain that won't happen to her. Maybe google for some suggestions?

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

LOVE the monster spray idea!! hehehe

This is what we used to do. I would also line their stuffed animals along their beds like they were keeping the kids safe from the "monsters". I used to squirt a small amount of body spray into the air , just enough for them to smell it, not too much, and the smell would last until they fell asleep.

 

[princessmom29]

I hate to tell you this, but if it has gotten as far a six year old sleeping in your bed every night you are not going to get her out without some kind of letting her cry/scream whatever unless you are willing to deal with her in your bed until she no longer wants to be there. For the vast majority of kids, by six it is no longer about real fear, anixety, or seperation issues but about wanting to be in control of the situation and get the attention from Mom and Dad. Don't get me wrong six year olds have real fears, but most of them are not so overwhelmed by them that it requires sleeping with mom and dad every night. She cries, you give in and let her in your bed. She knows that crying will get her what she wants so she continues to do so. She won't stop untill you show her that crying is not going to get her what she wants. I don't think this is about being afraid at all but about wanting her way, because she has no specific fear. She says the dark, but her room isn't dark and she still won't sleep there. Sounds like "I want to sleep in the big bed" rarther than "I'm scared". I think you are either going to have to put your foot down here or deal with it until she decides she is done sleeping with you.

 

[indimom]

Let her leave the lights on. Honestly. My DS9 had some issues around that age (this is not actually an uncommon age for fears/insecurities I promise you). He had no problem going to bed, but he would have bad dreams, wake up and come into our room. I finally told him if he was scared, he could turn on the overhead light, but not come in our room. He would read, turn on music, whatever, and would fall back to sleep with the light on. He never seemed too tired in the AM, so I really don't think having the lights on hurt at all...
Seems to me that if she was accustomed to having "someone" (the dog) in her room, she is just having a hard time adjusting to being alone. I grew up sharing a bedroom with my sister. When she would have overnights with friends, etc., I know I had a hard time going to sleep because I was used to having someone there...even as a preteen/teen. She will adjust, but it may take a little while.

 

[sunnyday123]

This is what we used to do. I would also line their stuffed animals along their beds like they were keeping the kids safe from the "monsters". I used to squirt a small amount of body spray into the air , just enough for them to smell it, not too much, and the smell would last until they fell asleep.

Lol! I used some crappy Victoria's Secret spray so you could smell it. The only bad part was, if I left it in the room, she'd spray it too and always ended up spraying it in her eyes. Always.

OP, how about a stuffed animal that resembles her lost puppy? That way Maddy can still be with her. We lost our lab 16 months ago, and have a new puppy now, but she said it's nice to have the stuffed lab. She said she tells her how bad the new puppy is.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

We bought DS(3) a turtle from Cloud B that turns on and displays stars all over the room using LED lights and runs on AAA batteries. It stays on for 45 minutes then has an automatic shut off. They have turtles and ladybugs. The company specialize in products to help people sleep that are afraid of the dark or have general sleep problems.

DS pulls the "I'm afraid of my room/I don't like my room" several times too. Heck, last night, DS asked if he could watch a movie in his room and I told him no. Then he got quiet. I went to check on him and he wasn't in his bed. He crawled up in my bed and went to sleep. I had no idea as I was still up watching the Super Bowl.

Sometimes he'll have a bad dream and crawl into bed with us in the middle of the night but we just wait until he's back out and put him back in his bed.

We still have DS in a toddler bed and told him that we wouldn't get him a big boy bed until he could prove to us that he would use it. Have you tried offering some form of upgrade/change/etc. in her room as a treat for staying in there?