Children know too much!!!

[Aurora63]

I teach third grade. At the end of the day, we were working on a math challenge problem. As we worked, I noticed two of my students passing a note. So, I took the note and kept on teaching.

As the other children worked, I read the note...it had some of the most VILE sexual referrences I have seen. Basically, one student telling the other that they did a certain "sexual act" with a parent, and the other writing back that the other had done another act with their parent. Basically, calling each other names, but instead of names, the most explicit sexual talk imaginable.

Aren't eight and nine year olds supposed to be innocent?

I was/am totally disgusted. Their parents got a pretty irritated teacher on the phone this afternoon. I hope they get punished really badly. I know at least one will.

 

[flaps]

I was a "sheltered kid." As an adult, I'm SO thankful to my folks for that.

 

[Royalbear]

OMG, I remember getting in trouble in 5th grade cuz some boy was telling me that having sex was when a guy peed inside a woman. Now, I had just finished having the sex talk with my mom so I corrected him by a note saying it was ejaculation, not peeing. The teacher intercepted the note and both she and I were mortified.

I apologized and nothing further happened, but I really was only educating, I could never imagine what those notes must have said.

 

[gr8tpanther]

My kids are 10 and 11 and don't know anything. You know when your kids know. I like that they don't know anything, but I suppose it is time to start telling them things.

 

[tiggerlover]

I have a third grader and I can't even imagine mine knowing anything sexually explicit!! Oh my, you have to wonder where 8/9 years olds are hearing this stuff. I sure hope their parents take this seriously and have a nice loooong talk with them.

 

[eeyore45]

You're kidding right?

Honestly, I've been a teacher for 20 years maybe... and I can tell you that today if I found a note with that explicit, I would ask for the social worker for a referal, I would notify the principal of my concerns, and I would want to know how to talk to the parents.

Last year when my dd was in first grade, she had an "in school suspension" her transgression, she wrote a note that had the word "kill" in it. I was completely upset that my dd had so little regard for life, that she may be angry etc... in a word, "I" over reacted!! I have now realized in context she was just mimicking her older brothers, and tv cartoons...

but I also taught 5th grade 20 years ago, '81 in a predominately blue collar area in IN, and I had a student (who had been 'held back) and who was pregnant.

Nope I wouldnt assume the parents would have a long talk with them, we dont live in a perfect world... we live in a world where Sex in the City is on regular tv in reruns, where you can catch episodes of Friends, and Seinfeld all times of the day...

 

[Dan Murphy]

I would say the kids are watching a lot of TV, as eeyore45 said above. "Regular' TV, for much of the viewing time, is one trash program after another. Kids learn. Sad it is.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Knowing where you live, Aurora, I can't say I'm surprised. I was a town south of you for many years. When DS was a baby and I would take him out in his stroller, on more than one occasion I remember hearing the neighborhood kids talking about sex. I'd have to say there were 5th graders down to kinders. And when one little girl started talking I was shocked! She couldn't have been more than 7 years old.

Then a couple years ago my DS started saying some things that bothered me a bit. Picked it up from kids at school. So we had "the talk" when he was in 4th grade. I had a book geared for 5-8 year olds I think, and he had trouble digesting that! He must have been 9 at the time. Unfortunately, these kids are growing up way too soon these days. I hope those kids parents straighten them out on things.

 

[LisaR]

Originally posted by Aurora63
I teach third grade. At the end of the day, we were working on a math challenge problem. As we worked, I noticed two of my students passing a note. So, I took the note and kept on teaching.

As the other children worked, I read the note...it had some of the most VILE sexual referrences I have seen. Basically, one student telling the other that they did a certain "sexual act" with a parent, and the other writing back that the other had done another act with their parent. Basically, calling each other names, but instead of names, the most explicit sexual talk imaginable.

Aren't eight and nine year olds supposed to be innocent?

I was/am totally disgusted. Their parents got a pretty irritated teacher on the phone this afternoon. I hope they get punished really badly. I know at least one will.

Come on! If this really took place like you said then you have an obligation to notify the police. If any type of sexual act is occuring period much less WITH a parent, I would certainly think you would do more then make a phone call to the parents. How could you even let these children return home if this is taking place? What am I missing here?

Lisa

 

[capthooksmom]

Unfortunately, I'm not surprised about the language. I taught 3rd grade several years ago, and one of my students mother was a prostitute. She actually brought her clients home, closed the door, and told the children never to bother her. This child's younger brother had been sexually molested. He also witnessed a murder while going through a fast food drive through. He talked about it like it was cool.
Most of this kind of talk comes from older siblings, cousins, friends, etc. I rue the day an older 3 year old (who was educated in the subject by his older sister) told my son about "****ies." They have become quite a fascination for him now.

 

[sha_lyn]

Originally posted by LisaR
Come on! If this really took place like you said then you have an obligation to notify the police. If any type of sexual act is occuring period much less WITH a parent, I would certainly think you would do more then make a phone call to the parents. How could you even let these children return home if this is taking place? What am I missing here?

Lisa

From what I get the kids were trading insults, they weren't admitting to having sexual acts with their parents

IE... kid 1 says
You (blanked) your mama
kid 2 says you (blanked) your daddy

 

[HollyNEd]

ok this really bothers me on many levels but the biggest thing is why in heaven's name didn't you contact your local child abuse hotline???? I am a foster parent to 2 children who were both sexually molested by several family members and we had a problem last week with them acting out on each other and it was hotlined by their therapist and I would have if I could of! Just calling the parents will do nothing!! Please hotline these cases those poor children could be in real danger!!
I thought teachers were taught that anything suspicious was to be reported immediatly no if and or's or buts?

 

[Rutt and Tuke]

My initial reaction was similar to those who said it should be reported, but then I realized what the notes probably said. They weren't saying what they had done with their own parent but what the other child had done with his parent. Think two insults that end in ucker.

 

[sha_lyn]

ok this really bothers me on many levels but the biggest thing is why in heaven's name didn't you contact your local child abuse hotline????

You've got to be joking. Call a child abuse hotline to report kids trading insults? How in the heck are they in danger because they are insulting eachother?

 

[HollyNEd]

oops sorry I thought she meant the kids had been doing things with their own parents not trading insults!

 

[LisaR]

Originally posted by sha_lyn
From what I get the kids were trading insults, they weren't admitting to having sexual acts with their parents

IE... kid 1 says
You (blanked) your mama
kid 2 says you (blanked) your daddy

Okay, if they were just trading insults then I misread the original thread. Sorry. If that is all they were doing then a call to the parents is appropriate. If the kids made any reference to a sexual act actually taking place then I have to assume the OP would have notified the proper authorities.

Lisa

 

[sha_lyn]

From this line in the OP

Basically, calling each other names, but instead of names, the most explicit sexual talk imaginable.

IMHO it really just seems like they were trading insults

I do think some punishment at school should happen, but unless there is a set punishment for using such language the punishment should be handled by the teacher. I also think that in some cases it would qualify as sexual harassment and in many schools that would carry a mandatory punishment.

 

[missyc]

Originally posted by LisaR
Okay, if they were just trading insults then I misread the original thread. Sorry. If that is all they were doing then a call to the parents is appropriate. If the kids made any reference to a sexual act actually taking place then I have to assume the OP would have notified the proper authorities.

Lisa

You aren't the only one.