Child Support

[Turn the Page]

However, if my ex had paid the amount of child support he was required by law to pay and still wanted to pitch a fit over how he spent it he would have been more than welcome to just pay it directly to daycare every month so I didn't have to worry about that particular expense. I would have been down with that.

 

[wdwmom3]

However, if my ex had paid the amount of child support he was required by law to pay and still wanted to pitch a fit over how he spent it he would have been more than welcome to just pay it directly to daycare every month so I didn't have to worry about that particular expense. I would have been down with that.

People don't get how much it actually costs to raise a child. And I think people are quick to judge those receiving support. It's like the one paying support is put on a thrown if they make their payments. Then people think they have the right to comment on how the person receiving the support spends every cent. They see someone in nice clothes or hear they went on a vacation and they assume they paid for it with support. It's almost as if we should t receive any if we can pay the bills on our own. Make me sick.

I have heard it all from my ex cause he is not happy paying the small amount of support he has to. He has been very verbally abusive at times. It's makes me want to cry just thinking about it. I work my but of every day to provide a great life for my kids and he calls me all sorts of names and tells me I ruined his life because he has to pay $300 a month.

A lot of people commenting on this thread just don't get it.

 

[mamabear0222]

I'm sorry but I just can't see the logic here. I could see your point if the child was being deprived of decent clothes to wear or enough food to eat while the custodial parent is going on vacation every month and buying designer clothes for themselves. However, in many cases the custodial parent does not get enough in support to cover all of the childs expenses which means the custodial parent is also providing financial support to raise the child. As long as the child's needs are all met the noncustodial parent shouldn't have much of a say as to where the money goes.

Of course it shouldn't cover all the child's expenses. That's why it's called child support. The other parent does have a financial obligation as well.

I have to agree to disagree on this topic. IMO too many people feel a sense of entitlement regardless if the other person is suffering. It's not how I was raised. If I can afford something I would never feel right taking money from someone whose barely getting by because I feel its OWED.

Money does some terrible things to good people.

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[Turn the Page]

People don't get how much it actually costs to raise a child. And I think people are quick to judge those receiving support. It's like the one paying support is put on a thrown if they make their payments. Then people think they have the right to comment on how the person receiving the support spends every cent. They see someone in nice clothes or hear they went on a vacation and they assume they paid for it with support. It's almost as if we should t receive any if we can pay the bills on our own. Make me sick.

I have heard it all from my ex cause he is not happy paying the small amount of support he has to. He has been very verbally abusive at times. It's makes me want to cry just thinking about it. I work my but of every day to provide a great life for my kids and he calls me all sorts of names and tells me I ruined his life because he has to pay $300 a month.

A lot of people commenting on this thread just don't get it.

I think there are a lot of people on here who have experience on the paying end rather than the receiving end. They see their brothers or sons or whoever having to pay child support and complain that he is broke all the time and everyone wants to blame it on the child support and how the evil witch of an ex is leeching every cent they can get out of him.

 

[Turn the Page]

Of course it shouldn't cover all the child's expenses. That's why it's called child support. The other parent does have a financial obligation as well.

I have to agree to disagree on this topic. IMO too many people feel a sense of entitlement regardless if the other person is suffering. It's not how I was raised. If I can afford something I would never feel right taking money from someone whose barely getting by because I feel its OWED.

Money does some terrible things to good people.

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I'm not suggesting a noncustodial parent should have to pay $1500 a month when he only makes $2000 a month or something like that so the custodial parent can stay home. However, both parents have a financial obligation to support the child even if it is only $100 a month.

My ex tried to say he couldn't afford to pay anything at all. Well, you know what, he was living in his parents $250k house, his mommy did his laundry, cooked his food, and gave him spending money. He didn't have to worry about where his next meal was coming from. I constantly had to worry about where DD's next meal was coming from because he wouldn't get off his rear to get a job. He liked to say he couldn't afford to support his child because he had to buy his drugs but all that was doing was passing all the responsibility on to me. He complained about being ordered to pay any child support at all, even though he didn't, while he was out at the bar with his friends and buying his drugs off the street. If his parents paid me $200 in support and my salary had already paid all of DD's expenses that month I have every right to buy myself a new pair of shoes or something.

 

[mamabear0222]

I think there are a lot of people on here who have experience on the paying end rather than the receiving end. They see their brothers or sons or whoever having to pay child support and complain that he is broke all the time and everyone wants to blame it on the child support and how the evil witch of an ex is leeching every cent they can get out of him.

Actually in my case it was my own sister who was the evil witch leeching from my ex brother in law. I still feel sorry for him to this day. He had get a roommate to make ends meet while my sister sold her house that she got in the divorce to move to a better neighbourhood and a bigger house "for the kids". Meanwhile they all lived in the old house just fine.

And yes I'm sure my sister and I were raised by different parents lol
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[wdwmom3]

I think there are a lot of people on here who have experience on the paying end rather than the receiving end. They see their brothers or sons or whoever having to pay child support and complain that he is broke all the time and everyone wants to blame it on the child support and how the evil witch of an ex is leeching every cent they can get out of him.

Yep we are the evil ones. No recognition for our hard work or sacrifices. When as single parents we actually manage to make something of ourselves it gets even worse. The single parent who can't pay their bills is looked down upon and judged. And the single parent who succeeds is now greedy and selfish if they expect the other parent to contribute.

And yes you deserve those new shoes and to have your nails done too. I know first hand how hard you must work

 

[mamabear0222]

Yep we are the evil ones. No recognition for our hard work or sacrifices. When as single parents we actually manage to make something of ourselves it gets even worse. The single parent who can't pay their bills is looked down upon and judged. And the single parent who succeeds is now greedy and selfish if they expect the other parent to contribute.

And yes you deserve those new shoes and to have your nails done too. I know first hand how hard you must work

No offence but you sound very bitter. No one says you don't deserve those things. But I still believe if you're off getting your nails done and new shoes and your ex is trying to figure out where his or her next meal is coming from....there's something very wrong with that picture.

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[Turn the Page]

No offence but you sound very bitter. No one says you don't deserve those things. But I still believe if you're off getting your nails done and new shoes and your ex is trying to figure out where his or her next meal is coming from....there's something very wrong with that picture.

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From what the poster you are referring to said her ex only pays $300 a month in child support. If $300 puts him in such a bind that he doesn't know where his next meal is coming from there is something wrong with the way he is doing things.

I worked full time and paid all of the household expenses. I went months without any support at all. Like I said my ex didn't have to worry about where his next meal was coming from. I didn't have the option to tell DD that I was out of money for the month so she was going to have to go hungry until pay day. I had to figure it out. I had to figure out how to get her the things that she needed. Noncustodial parents should be held to the same standard. Their kids need to eat and have clothes to wear whether they are rolling in cash or not.

 

[wdwmom3]

Actually in my case it was my own sister who was the evil witch leeching from my ex brother in law. I still feel sorry for him to this day. He had get a roommate to make ends meet while my sister sold her house that she got in the divorce to move to a better neighbourhood and a bigger house "for the kids". Meanwhile they all lived in the old house just fine.

And yes I'm sure my sister and I were raised by different parents lol
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I'm sorry but needing to get a room mate is not being that hard up. And who are you to judge how she spent her money. I'm not sure how child support works where you are but I don't get any more if my bills are higher. He would likely pay the same amount regardless of where he lived. And even if she can afford to take care of the kids on her own. Why should he not pay something. And I'm not meaning 1/2 his salary.

My ex makes a decent wage. And I only get $300 a month. He struggled with bills sometimes because of stupid choices he has made. He thinks he shouldn't have to pay anything because I make more then him. He has called be all sorts of names including an evil which and much worse. So are you saying he shouldn't pay anything because I am good with my money? That the responsibility should be all mine? I don't try to get more from him. I can't. I just expect him to pay what the law says he should.

But I guess I'm just a b

 

[mamabear0222]

From what the poster you are referring to said her ex only pays $300 a month in child support. If $300 puts him in such a bind that he doesn't know where his next meal is coming from there is something wrong with the way he is doing things.

I worked full time and paid all of the household expenses. I went months without any support at all. Like I said my ex didn't have to worry about where his next meal was coming from. I didn't have the option to tell DD that I was out of money for the month so she was going to have to go hungry until pay day. I had to figure it out. I had to figure out how to get her the things that she needed. Noncustodial parents should be held to the same standard. Their kids need to eat and have clothes to wear whether they are rolling in cash or not.

I wasn't specifically referring to HER ex. I don't know people's person situations and the comment I made was a general one.

Non custodial parents shouldn't be stretched so far beyond their means they can't live themselves either.

Their kids need to be taken care of yes. I agree 100%.

However if I was going on trips. ..getting my nails done etc and my ex was having trouble...I dont get how someone could accept money with a clear conscious if he was visibily struggling. (And I don't mean crying poor me). But that's just me.

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[mamabear0222]

I'm sorry but needing to get a room mate is not being that hard up. And who are you to judge how she spent her money. I'm not sure how child support works where you are but I don't get any more if my bills are higher. He would likely pay the same amount regardless of where he lived. And even if she can afford to take care of the kids on her own. Why should he not pay something. And I'm not meaning 1/2 his salary.

My ex makes a decent wage. And I only get $300 a month. He struggled with bills sometimes because of stupid choices he has made. He thinks he shouldn't have to pay anything because I make more then him. He has called be all sorts of names including an evil which and much worse. So are you saying he shouldn't pay anything because I am good with my money? That the responsibility should be all mine? I don't try to get more from him. I can't. I just expect him to pay what the law says he should.

But I guess I'm just a b

The roommate issue was just one of many things. Why isn't it "that hard up" when she sells her perfectly good house to upgrade because god forbid her girls share a room. While he downgrades to a two bedroom apt with another divorced guy at the age of 40????

I wouldn't judge at all if she wasn't crying poor me all.the.time and soaking the poor guy. She has her kids in tons of extra curricular so she can have "time to herself". Then complains how he only pays half for ONE activity per season per kid but she wants them in 3 each. (There's 3 kids) Anyways I dont need to get started on the lack of morals my sister has.

I never said not pay something. Like I said in this case he's visibly struggling and she's taking trips...only buys kids clothes from the best place. Lives in the best neighbourhood. Drives a new car. The whole situation makes me sick.

Like I said...money does crappy things to people.

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[Teresa Pitman]

The roommate issue was just one of many things. Why isn't it "that hard up" when she sells her perfectly good house to upgrade because god forbid her girls share a room. While he downgrades to a two bedroom apt with another divorced guy at the age of 40????

I wouldn't judge at all if she wasn't crying poor me all.the.time and soaking the poor guy. She has her kids in tons of extra curricular so she can have "time to herself". Then complains how he only pays half for ONE activity per season per kid but she wants them in 3 each. (There's 3 kids) Anyways I dont need to get started on the lack of morals my sister has.

I never said not pay something. Like I said in this case he's visibly struggling and she's taking trips...only buys kids clothes from the best place. Lives in the best neighbourhood. Drives a new car. The whole situation makes me sick.

Like I said...money does crappy things to people.

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Well, I can see how this would happen in Canada, if Parent A is not making much money, and Parent B has custody of the kids and is earning a lot more money. Each is expected to pay towards the care of the kids, according to their income, so Parent A will have to pay some child support. And if his income is low, he may well have to share an apartment.

Parent B who is earning more money may be able to buy a bigger house and go on trips. I don't see why that is unfair.

TP

 

[wdwmom3]

The roommate issue was just one of many things. Why isn't it "that hard up" when she sells her perfectly good house to upgrade because god forbid her girls share a room. While he downgrades to a two bedroom apt with another divorced guy at the age of 40????

I wouldn't judge at all if she wasn't crying poor me all.the.time and soaking the poor guy. She has her kids in tons of extra curricular so she can have "time to herself". Then complains how he only pays half for ONE activity per season per kid but she wants them in 3 each. (There's 3 kids) Anyways I dont need to get started on the lack of morals my sister has.

I never said not pay something. Like I said in this case he's visibly struggling and she's taking trips...only buys kids clothes from the best place. Lives in the best neighbourhood. Drives a new car. The whole situation makes me sick.

Like I said...money does crappy things to people.

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The things you are saying about her are the same things my ex has said about me. Bottom line is people should be paying a reasonable amount of support. Unfortunately there are many who complain about paying even a small amount and then make the other parent look like a money hungry evil person. That is not right. And as long as the children's needs are being met the person receiving the support should not have to justify what they do with the money.

 

[mamabear0222]

Well, I can see how this would happen in Canada, if Parent A is not making much money, and Parent B has custody of the kids and is earning a lot more money. Each is expected to pay towards the care of the kids, according to their income, so Parent A will have to pay some child support. And if his income is low, he may well have to share an apartment.

Parent B who is earning more money may be able to buy a bigger house and go on trips. I don't see why that is unfair.

TP

In this case parent b was unemployed at the time of divorce so he had to pay her spousal support and child support for a max of 4 yrs or until she found a job. And take a wild guess when that happened??? You got it. At 3yrs 11 months she by a miracle found s job lol

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[mamabear0222]

The things you are saying about her are the same things my ex has said about me. Bottom line is people should be paying a reasonable amount of support. Unfortunately there are many who complain about paying even a small amount and then make the other parent look like a money hungry evil person. That is not right. And as long as the children's needs are being met the person receiving the support should not have to justify what they do with the money.

I agree with the children's needs being met. I disagree with not being held accountable for where the money goes.

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[wdwmom3]

In this case parent b was unemployed at the time of divorce so he had to pay her spousal support and child support for a max of 4 yrs or until she found a job. And take a wild guess when that happened??? You got it. At 3yrs 11 months she by a miracle found s job lol

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Spousal support is totally different then child support. I would agree with you if someone was abusing spousal support. I think spousal support should be very limited.

 

[mamabear0222]

Spousal support is totally different then child support. I would agree with you if someone was abusing spousal support. I think spousal support should be very limited.

I realize this...but she uses the children as a weapon for money. The spousal support is over now but the child support continues of course and she doesn't have to justify squat

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[wdwmom3]

I agree with the children's needs being met. I disagree with not being held accountable for where the money goes.

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Who decides where the money goes? If the kids needs are being met why does it matter where it goes. Here in Canada someone can't pay less support just because the costs related to the child aren't that high. It's based on the paying parties income. If you make $x and have 1 child you pay $y. It's the law. So why does it matter how the money is spent? The custodial parent is accountable because they are responsible for caring the child. It doesn't mean the other parent has any right to comment on how it's spent.

 

[wilderness01]

And I can sympathize with everyone's distress at the loss of your husband. But had your son stayed married, he still would have lost his father and he'd still be supporting the same children.

I have read your posts for years. I like your direct responses, however, this response, in my opinion, was very insensitive.