desnik: i don't think what you said is offensive or mean spirited in any way, but i do think it would come out better if instead of saying "i don't see how YOU can do that" just say you prefer not to do it for your own kids.
i am a graduate of the virginia mcmartin preschool in manhattan beach, ca (not that that means anything, but it does give me an interesting background) and i am a prosecuting attorney. i know how disgusting perverts can be. but, i refuse to live my life and make my kids live their lives in a constant cloud of suspicion and fear. i let my kids play in the back yard while i stay in the house and cook dinner. my kids go to public school. i work outside the home - and proud of it. we use babysitters here at home on occasion. my kids go to daycare.
even saying all of that - we will use the kids club - since our kids are old enough. i am not saying i wouldn't use the in-room babysitters if my kids were too young for the clubs, i don't know if i would or wouldn't. but, at this age (4/6) i will use the kids club because it is just less risky. it is more public. there will be more than one employee. to comit some kind of atrocity there would have to be some kind of conspiracy. i think both choices are fine. i don't live in a world of fear, but i will choose the one that i perceive as the least risky.
for my family, we prefer splitting up for an evening so my dh and i can go to a quiet dinner and the girls can expend their energy elsewhere. it allows us to have a little of our own vacation. it energizes us so we will be our best with our girls. for us, we enjoy fostering independence and showing our girls that leaving them for an hour or two is fine because we will always come back to them.
so, make sure the babysitter's employer is reputable. make sure they do extensive background checks. get some references. make sure they have been in business for a decent amount of time - and go have fun on your vacation!!
