Cheese.

[King Schultz]

Okay, I had a horrible evening.

I am the sole caretaker of my 81 year-old mother who has dementia. She stills knows who she is; who I am; where she is; our two dogs. . . but her short term memory has deteriorated to the point of non-existence.

This evening, I made us dinner and brought her's to her in the living room where she spends most of the day. She likes to share with the dogs, which is fine, but I don't eat out there because, as much as I adore the little fellas, I can't eat with two dogs watching my every motion.

So as usual, I get her dinner and make sure it's okay, then I come in here to my room where my computer is and check on the CB and eat mine.

About 10 minutes go by, and all of sudden I hear her screaming and hollering- I rush out, and for whatever reason she'd gotten up without my help (unusual) went into her room, and tripped and fell.


It took forever to get her up; I know how to it, but she kept fighting me. I finally got her up, and she was sure she'd broke her arm.

She didn't. She has a small bruise but could wiggle her fingers, move it up and down without expressing any pain- I'm sure it hurt, but no way it's broke.

But that started a solid three hours of her wanting me to take her to the ER and me saying no; it would have been a nightmare getting her dressed, getting her in my truck, sitting in the ER for who knows how long because it wasn't an emergency, and having them say it's not broken and sending us home.

To make a long story a little less long, after 4 hours of drama, I finally got her calmed down, in bed and asleep.


I got myself a well deserved drink, then realized I never finished eating.

So I got a dill pickle, another strong rum and coke. and a chunk of "Cabot's White Wisconsin Very Sharp Cheddar Cheese".

Good stuff. I feel much better now.

 

[mummabear]

 

[Happy_Haunt999]

 

[jevs]

I hope you guys have a better day tomorrow Willy

 

[King Schultz]

Thank you all for the hugs. . . I kind of need them.

 

[jevs]

Thank you all for the hugs. . . I kind of need them.

Have some more then

 

[King Schultz]

Have some more then

 

[King Schultz]

The cheese is really good. . . spared no expense.

 

[jevs]

Rugger bugger group

 

[powellrj]

Please watch her. My mom had dementia and falls are what really did her in. I know how hard this is. You are in my thoughts because it's hard for people that haven't been through this to know how hard it is.

 

[King Schultz]

Please watch her. My mom had dementia and falls are what really did her in. I know how hard this is. You are in my thoughts because it's hard for people that haven't been through this to know how hard it is.

Thank you for the kind words.

She almost never tries to get up on her own these days; it was unusual.

A broken hip or something would totally blow my desire to keep her home in her own bed with her dogs so I do try to keep her safe. . . she hasn't done any 'wandering' yet and I hope this isn't the start of that phase.

 

[powellrj]

Thank you for the kind words.

She almost never tries to get up on her own these days; it was unusual.

A broken hip or something would totally blow my desire to keep her home in her own bed with her dogs so I do try to keep her safe. . . she hasn't done any 'wandering' yet and I hope this isn't the start of that phase.

I hope she never wanders. That was when we had to place mom. She no longer knew us and would leave in the middle of the night and go to the neighbors telling them she didn't know who we were. Be sure you are also taking care of YOU, that is so important.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Sorry you all are going through this. I commend you for having the patience to take care of her & keep her at home. You're a good man.

 

[Lori74]

hope you have a better day Willy! My mom is down there in OK and im in MI, every time I talk to her, I hear her slipping away more and more. luckily her sister is there to take care of her, but the guilt is getting me, that im so far away. take care, it's a new day!

 

[PollyannaMom]

Just read this. Here's another hug.

I used to help a bit with DH's grandmother (who lived with his parents when she had dementia). SIL or I would go and sit with her during the day if they both needed to be out at once. Half the time she didn't really know who I was, but she seemed to like me even when I was "new," so I just went with it. I really admire that you can do it full time!

I hope she feels better today. (And if you're lucky, the short-term memory thing will work in your favor for a change, and she won't even remember falling.)

On a practical side, when DS was a baby, someone gave us a video monitor for his room. Could you do something like that if it wouldn't scare her?

 

[pocomom]

Got nothing but

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

Caregivers like you are saints. I mean that. You are a good son to be taking care of your mother.

 

[ronandannette]

Thank you all for the hugs. . . I kind of need them.

I'm genuinely concerned for you. I have shared in similar circumstances - I say shared because between my siblings, other family and friends and professional assistance, the burden was divided. In your previous brief mentions of your situation I don't remember you discussing any other support system - either for your DM or for YOU. This is a long, gut-wrenching (yet ultimately rewarding) road you're on. I pray you've got someone (or many people) to walk along-side and offer both of you respite when incidents like last night threaten to overwhelm. Unthinkably tough as this is, you will never regret honouring and serving your mother like this, but that doesn't mean you need to let it consume you in the process.

 

[gemini2727]

Caregivers like you are saints. I mean that. You are a good son to be taking care of your mother.

What she said...

Unlike caring for children who grow and progress to independence, caring for aging parents unfortunately means things are ultimately going to get more difficult, for everyone involved. (I foresee this with my own parents who are in their 80's also, it's been a roller-coaster with my dad.) Please be sure to have some respite care involved if you can, so you can take a break now and then. Your mom is lucky to have you.

 

[MSLRAC]

Aww, I'm sorry that happened and I hope you and your mother have a better day!