Cheerful Funeral Clothing

[mrodgers]

Dang, I'm even getting priced out of attending funerals if I have to go out and buy more special clothing for it.

 

[ronandannette]

Someone on the counseling team at church was speaking on the topic of funeral services and said that the only time they would actively advise against something like this would be if it might be dangerous. Some of our staff get called to do services in the inner city and family/friends can think that having everyone wear gang colors can be a good way to show loyalty to the deceased. It can be walking on very thin ice to counsel a grieving family through this and suggest different, more neutral ideas while expressing compassionate support. Those team members have my great admiration!

I live in a bubble where things like this only happen on tv. It’s a far-cry from wearing pink because Aunt Mary loved it. I do thank you for your outreach to the community though.

Not a clothing thing, but we had "loot bags" at my mum's funeral (actually, Memorial, since we had a private funeral) since she often said it wasn't a party unless there were loot bags (we had little boxes of truffles).

I LOVE this. As the consummate party-planner, you’re giving me ideas for my own eventual send off!

We did something similar for my Grandmother. She was renowned in our little farm community for her popcorn balls, which had been handed out to 3 generations of kids each Halloween. She passed away mid-October and nothing would do but we had to make sure everyone left with one last “sweet” remembrance of her.

 

[ronandannette]

Dang, I'm even getting priced out of attending funerals if I have to go out and buy more special clothing for it.

Not really a crisis until they start insisting you cover your plate for the fellowship lunch.

 

[BrinkofSunshine]

At my grandma’s funeral in June, my mom, aunt and I all wore animal print blouses (and black slacks); I don’t know if it was seen as off-color, but we felt it was the perfect tribute.

 

[theluckyrabbit]

... We did something similar for my Grandmother. She was renowned in our little farm community for her popcorn balls, which had been handed out to 3 generations of kids each Halloween. She passed away mid-October and nothing would do but we had to make sure everyone left with one last “sweet” remembrance of her.

Love this! And how wonderful that 3 (!) generations of kids had good memories of your dear grandmother!

 

[scrhsa]

Where I live it is hit or miss on what people wear. I've seen them dressed to the nines and others just in their shorts....all at the same funeral.
I've told my girls that they can wear whatever they want, as long as it is respectful. After all, it will be a full on Catholic Mass funeral. I tell them that if they like the all black Victorian level of attire, go for it. If they want to wear my fav color, go for it etc etc!
Then they can have a party/ bbq and have a ball! Make it fun. Like others have said, it is a celebration. My Dad always said that he didn't like it when people cried when they lost someone. He thought it was selfish. They were crying for themselves because they no longer have that person in their lives. He had a point I guess. Poor guy, we all massively blubbered when he died, massively blubbered I tried to keep it together for him but he was too wonderful and I was very selfish and cried my eyes out because he was no longer in my life I would tell him 'too bad so sad old man, I miss you and I'm gonna cry'

 

[Jafar30]

At my sister's life celebration we had everyone wear clothing of their favorite sports team

 

[DisneyHardin]

Wearing black to a funeral seems to be very regional. We wear it to funerals here, but back south we attended one and everyone was wearing casual wear (khakis, white sundresses, jeans/polo, etc). We were literally the only ones in all black! There was no request here, just the way they do things in their region.

I've heard of requests for special clothes and would do as requested.

I definitely agree with this. I live in KY, which is the most northern part of the south I've never been to a funeral where people were all dressed in black. People are generally dressed in casualish clothes for the visitation and then church clothes for the actual funeral.

 

[KPeterso]

I have heard of that a few times.

My friend's nephew passed away last year and I went to the service. She told me that it was going to be casual (he was 18 and passed from a horrible cancer) and jeans were what he would want. My Mom was horrified so I wore nice pants and a nice shirt. His water polo team all walked in wearing shorts and crazy ties. It was something they did at school when they had meets and he always loved that, so they wanted to honor his memory in that way. It was actually fun to see what the boys chose to wear. The girls water polo team wore their team shirts.

For a relative a number of years ago, I had a nice black skirt with some embroidered flowers on the bottom. I normally wore it with a bright shell and cardigan set. I decided to do so since Aunt Betty loved bright and happy colors, so I knew she would have loved that. Her sister was thrilled that I chose to honor her that way.

 

[tzolkin]

I have only been to one where a specific request was made. Family friends whose daughter had died suddenly (late 20s). She was a very bubbly and bold person. The family recommended dressing in bright colors (especially pink) and feel free to include some "bling" because it was more fitting to celebrate her life. There were definitely still some tears, but overall it was a happy event.

 

[bcla]

I rather like the way that Edward Abbey went out. He requested that he be illegally buried on government land in his favorite sleeping bag without a coffin. They held a casual funeral for him where he requested gunfire and bagpipes along with copious amounts of alcoholic beverages. I don't know if he asked for it, but the funeral participants poured beer and whiskey on the grave in his honor.

As for how to dress, in other cultures wearing black isn't normal for a funeral. My Chinese friends tell me that the tradition is to wear white to a funeral.

 

[hereyago]

I want my lived ones to wear bathing suits(I plan to donate my body to science but your lived I was can get yiur ashes after. So I want my dd to fly out to Oahu and do a "paddle out"ceremony.

 

[fla4fun]

We asked people to wear colorful clothes to our parents memorial service because it was to be a celebration of their lives. Pretty much everyone did. One of my cousins lost her toddler to illness and he was into football. So most people wore football jerseys to the service. I like it when people are remembered for their interests and personalities.

 

[arminnie]

At my mother's funeral 20 years ago I paid no attention to what people wore. Several people commented afterwards about others wearing shorts/etc. I did not care at all. As a survivor I did not pay any attention as to what others were doing.

 

[gtpoohbear]

Wearing black to a funeral seems to be very regional. We wear it to funerals here, but back south we attended one and everyone was wearing casual wear (khakis, white sundresses, jeans/polo, etc). We were literally the only ones in all black! There was no request here, just the way they do things in their region.

I've heard of requests for special clothes and would do as requested.

I think that is true. I grew up in the south, and always thought that wearing black to funerals was only something they did in the movies, lol! We always dressed very formally (like church clothes), but not necessarily dark. Just not bright or tacky. I live in Colorado now, and most people don't even dress up at all for funerals.

I've started seeing a lot more funerals announced instead as a "Celebration of Life" ceremony, and I think that requesting attendees to wear something meaningful to the person is very fitting for that concept.