Caryn,
If one priest won't marry you, ask another. I think that our priest has realized that we live together. I think he would be happy to marry us as a way of nullifying the previous "indiscretions".
If I tried to go to confession and ask for forgiveness without the intent of ever marrying, but still living together, he said he can't offer forgiveness then. That's why I haven't been to confession since we moved in together!