Can you say "No"?

[LisaTx]

Or are you the go to girl (or guy) that everyone asks when they need some help? Yes, I've been watching Dr. Phil today.

I used to help with PTA and the kids schools and everyone else who asked. I can't even count the number of times I told my kids "Not now. I'm doing PTA stuff." I finally got to the point that I felt like I was neglecting my family and more importantly myself. I finally learned how to say "No" about two years ago. It was hard at first, but got easier and easier each time. Now I don't feel guilty at all.

How about you? Do you overextend yourself, have you learned to say no, or have you found a happy medium?

 

[nativetxn]

I used to be the person everyone called on to do a job, especially a job no one else wanted.

I broke away when Travis entered public school at age 10.

I can mostly say no

 

[Princess_Aurora]

I'm the one my friends come to when they've messed up their lives and need to start over. I give them a place to stay until they get back on their feet. And no matter how many times they mess up their lives, I can't seem to tell them no. I'm also one of those people that want to please everyone so I tend to bend over backwards to make everyone happy.

 

[Blondie]

I have no problem saying no!

 

[grinningghost]

I have learned how to say no, but in a backhanded way - I just avoid getting into situations where there's an opportunity to be asked.

 

[Pat]

I have tried to limit how much of my time I will volunteer. When I feel I am at my limit, I will try to avoid situations where I can become too involved. I tend to open my mouth and find I am offering to help fix something or to do the work that needs to be done.

 

[Kitty 34]

I watched the show today, too Lisa and can definetly say I'm a "no" type of gal!! I help up to a point but then I back away and let others do things.

I do help a lot with sports in high school as I have a DS playing now and a DS who used to play when he was there.

My youngest DS (8th grade) is in the Band program and what I do to help out there is I sub whenever their band director is out. I actually get up there and conduct even tho I don't read music very well at all!!

 

[Pin Wizard]

I used to be the type to do anything asked. But after becoming a single parent, I learned to say no.

 

[fklhou]

Between Scouts, the Temple, the mens services auxillary, school activities and the like it is tough. I am two different special committee for the Temple on top of everything else.

 

[phillybeth]

I say no but I feel guilty for saying it.

 

[browneyes]

I'm the go to girl. Which doesn't bother me most of the time.

 

[Pop Daddy]

I dont know

 

[Brat862]

No




(now if I keep saying that maybe someone will believe me)

 

[bsnyder]

I am very "No" impaired.

But I'm in a 12 step program! Working on it every day!

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>I used to say 'yes' all the time.

My ds told me he was going to teach me how to say NO, and he was in 7th at the time!

I took a hard look at my time, or lack of, and have cut way back on the volunteer/school stuff I do.

It was hard saying no ... but, only at first.

 

[worm761]

kind of yes but no. LOL... i will help when i can. as long as it doesnt interfere with my DS. i will always go into work when they need me or something has to be done. (been working overtime alot lately...going on third week in a row) this week i am working alot but it is a trade off so i can take my son trick or treating/ wont have to work that night. i will help my friends as long as they are willing to help themselves! i will say no if i am trying to piece back their life together and they are doing nothing to help the situation or even better, making the situation worse. i do have a problem telling work no, but i am a manager and that is part of the job.

 

[powellrj]

I am getting better at saying no, but I always feel bad when I do. My DR said it was affecting my health so that makes it alittle easier, but not much.

 

[Serena]

no

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I am in transition, LOL! I used to say NO to most things and would ONLY do one thing, which was Girl Scouts.

Now I found myself in PTA, Girl Scouts, Neighborhood Trustee (I am up for vote right now, in which I will make it because I know too many people in my nieghborhood now), school volunteer once a week in dd's class, OH and I am her room mom.

EEEGADS...well I don't know how this all happened and why but next year, I will say NO! (to some things)

 

[disneygals]

Three years ago, I learned to say no. I still volunteer, but not as much. As grinningghost says, one way I am able to say no is to avoid situations where I will be asked. That's how I got so over-extended, at PTA meetings, friends would ask for help, so of course, I said yes.

I did it to myself again last fall, saying oh this is just one thing, until it just snowballed. This year I am dropping as much as I can in December since we're going to WDW on 12/26.

I DO NOT thrive on chaos!

One comment re: the Dr Phil show...if he thinks not getting a chance to shower or brush your teeth when the kids are all toddlers is strange, it's obvious that he's never been a mother!

Vivienne