Can You Leave Kids In The Cabin?

[jrabbit]

Remember even in fun there is always someone out there watching, no matter what age you must think in terms of what would my parents have dome in this situation..IMHO

what would my parents have dome in this situation ... Thats part of the "problem". If you are in your 40's (like me) when I was 6 or 8 years old I was going "whereever" I wanted by my self. I think that a lot of us that were under age 10 in the 60's had a lot of freedom because life wasn't nearly as scarry then as it is now. This applies in the big cities and out in the rural country. Some parents still are clueless as to what real dangers lurk in out society everywhere. You would think that the younger parents (you know late 20's and early 30's) would be MORE paranoid about leaving their children unattended.

All that being said, I think that the DCL's cruise ship enviornment is a little different than the "real world." Yep, with 3000+ people onboard there is going to be crime and has the potiential of some very horrific crimes (rape, molestation, kidnapping). It's quite likely that the demographic makeup of the guests are such that onboard we are actually safer from those type of crimes than off of the ship. A large percentage of pedophilia occurs inside of family groups (offender and victim are related to each other).

With my children, sitting here at home I think that I could have left them alone at those ages in the stateroom on the ship (as long as one of them was at least 8). Being on board and "in the moment" and having to make that decision, I might not do it.

 

[Mickeyhugger]

This would be a good question for DCL re having children unattended.

If children are able to sign themselves out at the Oceaneer's lab at age 9, then that's probably the same age for which they permit them to stay alone in the rooms?

I'm glad there are so many protective parents out there, but am sadder for the children of the ones who are negligent and careless. How awful for that 7 year-old. I cringe when I think I think of children being frightened.

 

[starwood]

What if there were a problem on the ship and they had to put on their life vests and get to lifeboat station? There are a lot of adults that would have a problem doing that and 2 sleepy children would never be able to accomplish that alone. You may not be able to get to the cabin to assist or you may be delayed because of people in the halls trying to get to their stations. I think that is just too worrysome for my blood.

 

[crisi]

Actually jrabbit, life was just as scary. Crime has actually gone down. We do a much better job now tracking and prosecuting pedophiles. The difference, the media didn't cover it (at least not often), media was local (so we would have never heard of Laci Peterson here in the Midwest), and a lot of the child crimes were covered up (mandatory stab at the Catholic Church). People didn't prosecute their "odd uncle" but hid (and often just denied) the family secret. And now with milk cartons, national alert systems, every child abduction is well known.

Crimes against children performed by strangers is statistically rare. As you said, its most often someone you know. The question is, do you want to risk even rare with your kids. Your kid has a better chance of having a serious bike injury, but most of us let them ride bikes. Risk is something each parent has to evaluate for themselves.

As I said, I'm not a lawyer. But I do know something about this topic. You won't find international law covering this - cultures vary far too much - when children as young as four work twelve hour days in factories in Asia, international lawyers aren't worried about leaving a six year old sleeping alone on a cruise ship. State laws are written intentionally vague....it allows a social worker to have leeway. After all, leaving a responsible twelve year old home for several hours is far different than leaving one that is mentally disabled alone - age is not the only indicatation of maturity. Leaving a responsible eight year old alone in the house for the ten minutes from the time he gets off the schoolbus until you get home from work every day is different from leaving a child in a "trash house" for two hours while you hang out in the bar. Guidelines generally include age and maturity and length of time, as well as "can the child reach help like a neighbor" and "will the child be required to feed himself."

Also, if everyone would keep in mind that not everyone has great choices. A lot of parents leave younger children home alone because they have no choices regarding afforable day care or other responsbile adults taking care of their kids. Obviously, this doesn't hold on a cruise ship, but I know many kids who became latchkey kids much younger than twelve out of financial necessity. State laws tend to understand this as well and that is another reason they are purposefully vague. I'm sure there are thousands of Florida moms who leave their elementary age kids alone for several hours each day until they get home from work. The other options - state provided daycare or state provided welfare - haven't gone over great with the taxpayers. I really wish the people who got excited about this topic would lobby their state governments to demand that our children are cared for properly - even if it costs us as a society more.

There, off my political soapbox.

 

[Mickeyhugger]

Very well said crisi and jrabbit.

 

[kellimomo3]

Just to clarify...not only did that 7 year old not appear frightened, she seemed to be used to roaming the halls alon AND I saw many more children alone during the course of our week on the Magic that looked to be around the same age.
If she had appeared frightened or lost, I would have escorted her to guest services or the club to have her parents paged.

Kelli

 

[grlzmom]

After our own personal bad experience, I wont leave the teenagers alone with younger siblings in the room. While I feel they can be responsible for themselves (and even their siblings while at home on familiar territory), being responsible for themselves and a sibling in a different environment is just not a good idea.

In August while visiting Great Wolf Lodge, (we had had a wonderful day at the waterpark, kids were exhausted). Back to the room, 22 month twins asleep, dd15 and dd13 1/2 watching t.v.. I leave the room to go and get them some cocoa. (approximately 2 minute walk down the hallway and they know exactly where I am). Stupid me thinking this is safe, after all they are both babysitter trained, cpr, first aid, the whole nine yards. While getting the drinks, alarms begin going off, doors closing, building being evacuated and I am NOT allowed back down my hallway.

Apparently there was a bomb threat and the entire building/area was cleared and each room was evacuated. I am shuffled out the front door and where are my kids? Well, they were of course a little panicked but level headed and took the babies out the appropriate exit door and waited, meanwhile I waited for the building to be cleared and be given permission to walk around the outside of it to locate the kids,(this took approximately 45 minutes due to crowds, dark and confusion). All was fine (but both girls were exhausted from trying to comfort the babies and carry them the whole time). But, lesson learned. You can plan for many things, but there are just some variables you cannot control.

Please don't flame me. I am only sharing this that others might reconsider who gets left in the stateroom

 

[JJsmama]

Do you really need the LAW to tell you it is unacceptable to leave a child unattended on a huge ship full of strangers in the middle of the ocean?

I'm sorry, but the original poster asked our opinion... We recently cruised and my husband and I never saw the inside of any adult club or took part in any evening activities because our children were sleeping. Neither of us ever considered that going out was more important than our childrens' safety. Had we been determined to go out at night, we would have left the kids in the club where they would be safe.

 

[crisi]

No JJsmama, you don't need the law. But if people are going to say its illegal, I'd like to see some cites to back that up. Law is a matter of fact. What we have here is a matter of opinion. I'm fine with people whose opinion is "I'll leave my two year old asleep" (I'll think they are poor parents, but that is my opinion) or "I won't leave my sixteen year old alone" (you know your kid, but I hope those apron strings will cut when they leave for college, once again, only my opinion). I'm not fine with "that's illegal" and "turn them in" unless someone is ready to cite legal code.

 

[MdmMim]

Okay, I know this is a Disney cruise but are people really naive enough to believe that out of the 3000+ "strangers" on board there are no pedafiles??

Many times on these boards, I see people posting their children's ages, gender, cruise dates, and cabin numbers. I shudder!! We have no way of knowing a creep from a normal person. How would you know if a weirdo was keeping an eye on your room/kids? Suppose the creep saw you leave, then decided to knock on the cabin door, saying, "Room Service from Mickey!!" or used some other ploy to get the kids to open the door.

Way too much can happen if children are left alone. I'd rather be safe than sorry. JMHO

 

[jdm]

Well! Now, that's a different spin and quite a good point! Something I had never, ever, thought about.

I've enjoyed this thread and everyones views. I thought Jrabbit made excellents points (being in my 40's myself) but Crisi's counter was very thoughtprovoking and true also.

That's what is so great about these boards, so many different takes and opinions. It's wonderful to part of this board community!!

Jenn

 

[gshoemate]

Many times on these boards, I see people posting their children's ages, gender, cruise dates, and cabin numbers. I shudder!! We have no way of knowing a creep from a normal person. How would you know if a weirdo was keeping an eye on your room/kids? Suppose the creep saw you leave, then decided to knock on the cabin door, saying, "Room Service from Mickey!!" or used some other ploy to get the kids to open the door.

Way too much can happen if children are left alone. I'd rather be safe than sorry. JMHO

Very well said. I know on our last cruise I went up on deck around 11:00 p.m. It was a windy night and there was only me and another man on the whole deck and I felt way uncomfortable. You just never know what is in another persons head and I am not willing to risk anything happening to my children.

 

[marv]

This is an interesting topic and there are lots of opinions on it. My opinion is that my own children will be 14 ,12,12 on are forthcoming trip, ime happy for them to have their own room to sleep in as long as it it is next door or has joining doors. The 2 12 year old's will be allowed to go off, if its to a certain area, but not just wondering around on the ship and they must stay together. This is not because ime worrying about the many pedo's that may be on the ship, this is because i know my children and i know they are happier with some rules and boundries. My 14 yr old will be aloud to go off but again i want to know where she is, how long she will be,and what time she will be back.
Really it will be know different than at home the only thing that will be is that they will have their own little private room where they can have some fun, feel grown up and order theirself some room service.

I wouldn't of allowed my children to wonder around the ship at 6,7 or 8yrs

I know it's so hard to let your children grow and be free but i believe that are own fears could get in the way of allowing are chilren to develop in a normal way. We cant wrap them up in cotton wool forever.

 

[Cruella]

If you are bringing your children, then it is a family vacation. Why would you even leave them alone? They never have to be alone, as their are activities for them 16 hours a day! It would not be worth it for me to have a couple cocktails, I could have them on my verandah!! On our last cruise, DH and myself and dd, did everything together. We never even got to go to a club because she was sleeping at the dinner table every night. So we brought her back to cabin and relaxed there.
Also, the other night at my home DS (14) was sleepwalking!!! He walked right into my room and was talking, making no sense at all and then tried to get into DD's toddler Bed!!! This has never happened to him before, so it could happen to anyone at any time!!! Imagine one of your children wondering down the hall or going out to your balcony?
Also, when we first entered the cabin on the ship, DD stood on the table by the railing, So that said, Why would you think that nothing could happen to your children??
Take advantage of the free babysitting!!

 

[Cruella]

My friend and her DH made reservations for Palo one night, her 2 DD (5) & (7) did not want to do the Kids Club since they had done it earlier in the day, so my friend ordered room service and once the meal came her and her DH went for dinner. The girls knew how to reach them if needed but felt awfully grown up. This was the first time she did this and the girls were fine. I also believe that it is a personal choice.

Your friend left your kids alone in the room with food? Call me paranoid, but weren't you worried that they could have choked?

 

[Cruella]

As I keep reading the replies on this post, I am absolutely beside myself. I had a friend who threw up in his sleep and choked to death. Do you people actually believe that nothing could happen to your children when they are left alone? Sleeping or not? Well you're wrong. That is why they are called "Children" and "Children" need guidance. We are responsible for them.

 

[marv]

I would like to just point out that we will be traveling 9 hours to take our children to the next vacation and even though we will be on the other side of the world the natural thing that my children will want is to spend time with other children.
Wether it be a a family vacation, it will be their vacation too. So they will want to go off and do the clubs and things and wont need myself and DH around. I would love them to want to spend every waking minute with me and DH, but as they get older they naturally want to spread their wings.
I think as long as ime aware of where they are and if i have too keep checking on them to stop me from worrying,then i will as long as they are doing what they want on their vacation.

 

[kaseyC]

Many times on these boards, I see people posting their children's ages, gender, cruise dates, and cabin numbers. I shudder!! We have no way of knowing a creep from a normal person. How would you know if a weirdo was keeping an eye on your room/kids? Suppose the creep saw you leave, then decided to knock on the cabin door, saying, "Room Service from Mickey!!" or used some other ploy to get the kids to open the door.

Way too much can happen if children are left alone. I'd rather be safe than sorry. JMHO

Not only that, we also need to remember that many of the ships employees - such as your room steward, head of housekeeping and maintenance have master keys to your cabin. There are "bad" employees out there who could also be watching you and your children. If you are leaving the kids sleeping in the cabin, you are definately not using the extra security deadbolt or you would not be able to get back into your cabin.

As parents we just need to be aware of all the possibilities and risks to our children. Bottom line, you are on a ship with about 3000 strangers.

 

[marv]

Cruella

Is your 14 yr Ds happy to sleep in room with parents, i know mine isn't.

 

[crisi]

As I keep reading the replies on this post, I am absolutely beside myself. I had a friend who threw up in his sleep and choked to death. Do you people actually believe that nothing could happen to your children when they are left alone? Sleeping or not? Well you're wrong. That is why they are called "Children" and "Children" need guidance. We are responsible for them.

So you co sleep with your kids in case they choke in the middle of the night. Wow! You are a way better parent than I am. I sleep across the hall, and I really doubt I'd wake up in time to perform the Heimlich manuveur.