Can I please have some prayers and pixie dust?

[HollyMac71]

I don't ask for much but now I need some support from my friends.

My Mother and I have been told that my Father rapid deteriorating form of dementia. He has several medical problems and they feel the culmination of this and a major infection has spred up the speed of the dementia. My Mother and I are at a loss for words. What do you when the person who was "normal" 6 months ago is barely able to work the TV remote today. My Mom has someone staying with her to help him with his every need but we believe he will have to be somewhere that is "safer" for him.
On the other hand last weekend my Grandmother fell and has a fracture clavicle. Today she called and wanted to be placed in a nursing home because she doesn't think she could be at home anymore then I talked to her this morning and she doesn't recall saying that.

It feels like everything is spinning out of control right now and all I want to do it get off.
Holly

 

[DisneyKevin]

Holly, I am so sorry that you are facing this.

We're always around and many of us understand that spinning feeling.

No one ever warns you that your positions might someday change.

I wish you strength.

All good thoughts coming your way.

 

[OKW Lover]

Sending your way. Hope it helps.

For your Dad, perhaps an Assisted Living facility will help. Did that for my Dad and, once he got over it not being home, it was a good thing. There's always somebody there if needed and it will take a big load of your Mom's shoulders.

I'm guessing your Grandmother needs an evaluation. She might benefit from being at an Assisted Living facility as well.

In my experience, Assisted Living facilities are much nicer than most nursing homes and a lot cheaper. Oh, and if you do decide to go this route, evaluate the facility based on the people rather than just the physical building. Its the people that will make all the difference.

 

[MINNEMUMMUM]

Holly, I am sending good thoughts your way. my husband and I have been in your situation, with elderly parents.First, take one day at a time. And one family member at a time. It is important that your mom stays well. Assisted living is great. They will evaluate your dad and place him in the section of the community where he will get the best care.

Your grandmother may just need to have a home health aide come in to check on her and do light housekeeping and cook meals and tend to her needs.they will evaluate her and they can recommend what type of care she needs.

There is sooo much help available for these situations. Just remember you are only one person. it is a feeling of being overwhelmed! Our responsibilities are to make sure that our loved ones have the care that is needed. Everything always works out.
Sending pixie dust as well!

 

[sayhello]

Holly, I am *so* sorry to hear this. No-one should have to go through this kind of thing, but there doesn't seem to be much stopping it. I agree with Jeff, an Assisted Living facility is probably the best way to go here. Less expensive, and less severe than a nursing home. At some point, you have to admit you can't do it all yourself, as much as you may want to.

((((((Hugs))))))))

Ping if you need to chat

Sayhello

 

[mdvlprof]

You have my prayers.

It's so hard watching as elderly parents decline.

As others have said, look into assisted living. Mom is living at one. It's a blessing.

 

[chirurgeon]

Holly, I know things have not been good. I am so sorry it has come to this point. I think you have gotten good advice. One person at a time. And have a long talk with the appropriate dr. Make a list of all your questions. And if they don't answer you with something clear, keep asking.

You are all in my prayers and

Kim

 

[dansyr2514]

Holly,

Sending prayers and good thoughts your way. Just remember, you have lots of friend around here to help.....even if it's just listening when you're having a hard day!

 

[jcb]

Thinking about you Holly. I hope the Doctors can get you Dad over the infection. There may be no medical correlation and I don't want to give false hope but my mom's dementia got much worse with her infection and improved noticeably when she got over the infection. I hope for the same with your Dad.

 

[SamSam]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I'm at an age (as are all of my friends) where we are finding our situations changing constantly with aging parents and all that goes with it, so I feel for you.

Thoughts and prayers for the strength to deal with everything in the months to come.

 

[Sarabi's Cubs]

So sorry to hear this Holly! Sending positive thoughts and your way!!!

Laurie

 

[TinkerChelle]

Holly I am so sorry to hear about your Father and your Grandmother. My prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. We are here for you

 

[*NikkiBell*]

So sorry to hear this news, Holly. You'll pull through stronger than ever! Hugs and hope to see you soon.

 

[apurplebrat]

So sorry to hear Holly
Sending prayers & hugs

 

[disneym2m]

Thoughts and prayers and pixie dust to help you during this time.

Sometimes it seems life has to throw everything at you all at once. Just take one thing at a time and remember to take a deep breathe now and then. And if you need to vent, we are here.



Lots of hugs.

 

[3happydancers]

Like others here have stressed, take it one day at a time. It is never easy watching loved ones struggle with medical conditions you cannot change. I remember when my mom took a turn for the worst. My family felt helpless.

I worked in a nursing home for several years as a companion in the dementia wing. Please but don't forget to take care of yourself. Many times when one is consumed with caring for their loved ones, they neglect themselves and they become run down. Is it possible for you to tag team with other family members? I did this with my brothers and sisters for my mom and it was a tremendous help.

 

[NitroStitch]

I'm so sorry about all that's happening, and especially that it's all at once. Sending tons of pixie dust and hugs to you and your family!

 

[1Grumpy9]

Good thoughts and pixie dust to you Holly!! ((HUGS)) Dealing with aging parents is something we all don't want to have to deal with, but unfortunately it is something we have to deal with. As others have said, make sure you get your questions answered and make sure you take care of yourself.

 

[Phoenixblue]

 

[HollyMac71]

It seems like we take 2 steps forward and 3 back. Last week Dad went back in the hospital for CHF (congestive heart failure) then back to another skilled nursing facility. Dad is not happy there and doesn't understand why he has to be there. Fortunately this is a more "aggresive" facility and hopefully he will improved instead of what happened last time.

My Mother and I have asked for a care plan to be done and meetings with the doctors involved. I cannot tell you how upsetting it is to see my Father just "giving up" on doing things.