can i get your opinion on something?

[worm761]

this has to do with my not-quite MIL(boyfriends mom) and christmas. the question is do i buy her a gift?
the background and the basis for the question:
i am the one that does all the shopping so i am the one that has to come up with something for her. i strongly believe she does not like me. there are lots of little things that she does that just screams that she doesnt like me. she totally disagrees with my homeschooling my son but wont say things directly to me. just makes inappropriate comments about it. she refuses to acknowledge my boyfriend as my sons father. which technically he is not, but once the adoption is finalized he will be. dont get me wrong she loves my son. just not me. i dont work and i think she has a problem with that. although she doesnt really know me. anyway, for christmas last year i bought her a beautiful ribbon-bow cross necklace with all 5 of her childrens birthstones on it- in descending birth order! she never so much as acknowledged the gift!!!! this was a well thought out gift. and cost a fortune. it was real gold with real stones!!! the least she could have done was acknowledge that i had gotten her a gift. so now i am thinking do i bother with it this year???

 

[Serena]

She doesn't deserve your worry. But I'd get her something. Nothing expensive, just something. Flowers maybe.
{{{hugs}}}

 

[whirlsy]

I have one of those, buy her a fruit cake.

 

[minniecarousel]

Definitely buy her something. But I'd keep the cost down - something a little IMpersonal. Maybe a coffee table book.

 

[browneyes]

Buy her something. If you don't, you'll hear all kinds of stuff she's said to other people about that! Buy her something that you'd think she'd use to pamper herself. Do you have a spa in your area? Give her a gc to one if you do.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yes you buy her something. Just don't pour your heart, soul and wallet in it. Make it something nice and modest.

 

[tiggerlover]

Curious to know what your boyfriend thinks about this, first his mother not acknowledging your very thoughtful gift last year and your dilema this year?

I would get her something small, but definitely nothing extravagant. Flowers are nice, a poinsettia plant, a box of chocolate, but she definitely, IMHO, does not deserve yet another thoughtful and expensive gift.

Another curious question, does she wear the gift that you gave her last year?

 

[TIGGERSMOM]

I would do exactly what you did last year You sound like caring person and maybe just maybe she'll realize it soon.

 

[Otimon]

I would get her a gift certificate at her favorite store and let her pick out something she would like and, therefore, couldn't complain about.

I would also think twice about what I was getting into here.

 

[Ranatra]

I'm speechless. She didn't acknowledge the gift?? Does that mean she didn't even thank you for the gift?
If one of my son's girlfriends bought me a gift like that, I'd be totally blown away by the gesture.
I say, buy her something, but don't knock yourself out, she's already shown you how unappreciative she is.
I'm curious, did she get you a gift last year??
And, I also want to know, did she ever wear the gift you got her last year?

 

[worm761]

thank you for the opinions. i will find something.
for those of you that asked~ no she never so much as said thank you. and i know she recieved it because it was mailed and she had to sign for it. return reciept requested and insured.
i have never seen it on her. we dont see her often. she lives at the other end of the state. yes she buys me gifts. i always say thank you and make sure whatever it is is used when she is around.
my boyfriend thinks that i am crazy, that his mother does like me. he doesnt notice things like not acknowledging the gift. i buy my own gifts from him, works better that way. and you should see the ring "he" got me for mothers day!! LOL

 

[Rajah]

I agree, get her something but nothing so nice as what you got her last year since she doesn't seem to appreciate it. Flowers or a gift certificate would be good.

 

[AMClvsMKY]

I believe you should continue to buy her a gift. Sending flowers or something like that would be appropriate, imo. A gift certificate is nice but then she would know her gift amount and that could become an issue. Is your BF selecting the gift for his mom an option? Then you are not involved.

 

[disykat]

None of my dh's family acknowledge gifts. Unless I'm there when they're opened (never) I wouldn't know if they received them. Evidently I've offended them by sending thank yous and making the boys do the same. I guess they feel like family doesn't need thanking? I don't know if they thank non-family or not. Weird.

Although it sounds like you guys have a lot more issues than this -(join the club!) - could it be that she doesn't thank in general? I agree with the others - send something so she can't say you didn't, but don't spend much time or money.