Can I do it with NO PLANNING?

[ballarinamom]

Maybe make some PS at some restaurants without telling them. Then if everything is crowded and everyone is hungry- SURPRISE!!! You can always cancel the PS

 

[bumbershoot]

Well, I don't really like what your husband is telling you...sounds like he's using this trip to get something that maybe HE wants.

But you can plan, yet not make it very obvious, and you will all have a better trip for it. I mean, some things you can't obliterate from your head, like FP and how you can use it after the time is up, or if you turn left instead of right you have a better chance of lower lines (go to Indy while everyone else is heading to Space), or to avoid lunch lines at noon. And there are other things you can find out about the family, things they might want to do, and you can figure out when it would be best to do them, then have little "ideas" every so often about what you could do next.

Basically, whenever they want to stop and look at a map (in the middle of a walkway), look at it fast and come up with "ooh I have an idea, let's do" whatever you think is best to do at that time. That way you're just giving suggestions to a suggestable crowd, and you haven't planned their day.

Now about the walking slow, I don't know how you deal with that, it drives me nuts. Until I want to walk slow. Then again, I think that just knowing where you're going gives you an advantage even if you're getting there slower than you want to...

 

[TiggerandTink]

Yeah the slow walking thing is a big annoyance for me, but I promise to try and be good about it.

We vacation with these people every year but a lot of times it is just the adults and we do Vegas. They walk slow there too but we are used to it there and the slot machines don't close and there are no lines to wait in, if a machine or table is full, you just move to the next one.

So anyway this year we couldn't afford 2 vacations like we normally do (1 adults only and 1 for just my family) so we decided to combine the two and do one family trip to Disneyland. I thought she was all on board with it but lately she is saying things like "I just can't get excited about this trip, maybe when it gets closer, but I'm sure the girls will have fun". Excuse me, how can you not get excited for Disneyland! And of course the girls will have fun!! And it took me a while to get her to book a hotel because she actually thought we could just drive down there and pick a hotel when we got there. HELLO!! She really doesn't get it does she.

The more I think about it the more the splitting the groups up sounds good/doable, without hurting anyones feelings. They have 2 girls, 11 and 6 1/2. The younger one is very small stature so she may not be able to do many of the bigger rides, while her older sister loves the big rides. It may work to split up and say we will take the older one with us to do one or two of the bigger rides while you do something with the younger one. And maybe my youngest would want to stay with them, who knows.

I have to say that just talking about this has calmed my fears a bit. I think I can still do some "suggesting" without them feeling like their day is planned out as Bumpershoot pointed out.

Thanks you guys.

 

[Califgirl]

If you are used to Vegas vacations, perhaps your friend would like to spend some time in DTD shopping? Or perhaps at the Grove, which is still opening stores and restaurants. I know that doesn't solve the Disneyland dillema for you, but it might be something your friend would enjoy, and this is everyone's vacation. Then maybe she would be more willing to go along with your Disney plans.

The one key thing with planning a trip with non-planners is to pick one 'land' and do all or most of the attractions there. I know that sounds obvious to Disney people, but her family might want to run from Space Mountain to Indy, to the Matterhorn, to Big Thunder and then to Splash. That's a lot of criss-crossing the park, taking up time and making everyone extra tired. Try to guide them to the other attractions in that land, since you're passing right by them anyway.

They have 2 girls, 11 and 6 1/2. The younger one is very small stature so she may not be able to do many of the bigger rides, while her older sister loves the big rides. It may work to split up and say we will take the older one with us to do one or two of the bigger rides while you do something with the younger one.

How close in age are these girls to your children? I think the younger girl might feel quite left out if she's not able to go with 'the girls' especially her big sister. Would it bother you to ride some smaller rides or is it all thrill rides for your family? Can you teach her parents about 'kid swap' for things she doesn't want to or can't ride? It might slow you down a little more, but it would be a kindness to share some Disney secrets like that with your friends.

How long are you staying? Is there enough time to show your friends the 'lay of the land' and then let them on their own for a bit? I would suggest to them to take a Walk in Walts Footsteps tour, or some other tour that gives them some Disney background. But then, I love tours (and I go to Disneyland all the time!)

Try to relax and slow down. There are lots of people involved in this trip, I'm sure there will be lots of compromises from everyone.
Enjoy the magic!

 

[geetey]

Well, if you are like my family, they don't expect you to plan every trip but you should "know" - especially when it comes to Disney! So I would go ahead and do the planning but not to the point of having a 'ride by ride' list and printing it on small cards to carry in your pocket. Not that I would do something like that.....

 

[MPHARJ]

I would have to agree with the other posters, you need to have some split time. Do some things with them and others apart. I think if you stay together the entire trip, it will put a strain on the relationship. We all do things our way and when you put 2 families together that are different there will be some tension. Let them enjoy the parks their way and on their own for some time. I admit I have no plans this year for our DL trip, I do not plan everything, I only plan our meals which are already scheduled and the days we are doing which park. I do plan on being up early to get into the parks first thing, doing what we want until it gets really crowded then relaxing at the pool and going to dinner then back in to close it down. We plan on using FP like last year and just enjoying what we really want to go on and see. Since we have almost 6 days there we will have plenty of time with out rushing. At WDW I plan a bit differently and plan our meals at the parks we will be at and which park which day as well as the EMH. However having gone there every year for the past 7 years it is also where we hit what we really love and things we may not have done for awhile. Good luck and Ihope you can compromise with them for some shared and seperate time!

 

[disneychrista]

Have you talked to the other adults? Asked them if they would like you to do some advance planning, etc?

 

[bopper]

Some ideas:

If they don't want to get the park early, tell them you will meet them their and they can call you when they get to the park.

Since mom doesn't really want to do Disneyland, why not offer to take her kids one of the afternoons?

See if you can stealth plan...kind of steer them in the right direction. "One of the big rides you have to do is Pirates of the Caribbean. Why don't we get fast passes for that then we can come back and do that whenever you want with almost no line. After we get the passes we can go to (some nearby ride 1 or some nearby ride 2), Your choice.

So you look like you are making things more flexible and giving them choices.

If they don't want to make reservations, can you make some anyway and then act like that is where you want to go? "You know, I think the girls would really enjoy eating at Blue Bayou. They get to watch the pirate ships go by! Why don't we see if we can get in." Meanwhile you already have ressies.

This is really just a personality type difference. For as annoying it is to you to have everything open, they feel trapped by having it planned. That is why I am suggesting giving them the illusion of having everything open.

 

[TiggerandTink]

Thank you all for the ideas and the support!

Bopper I think you offered/summed up quite a few gems that I may take with me.

If they don't want to get the park early, tell them you will meet them their and they can call you when they get to the park.

This would actually be great. My family could do the fast and furious touring in the early morning and then we could all slow down and meet them mid morning without feeling like we are missing stuff or that we are rushing them. I may find a way to "suggest" this for the 2nd or 3rd days we are there. I know the first day we will all want to be together to start our adventure!

See if you can stealth plan...kind of steer them in the right direction. "One of the big rides you have to do is Pirates of the Caribbean. Why don't we get fast passes for that then we can come back and do that whenever you want with almost no line. After we get the passes we can go to (some nearby ride 1 or some nearby ride 2), Your choice..

This definitely sounds doable. I do something similar with my kids now to help guide them to choices that are acceptable but still allowing them to make the final decision.

This is really just a personality type difference. For as annoying it is to you to have everything open, they feel trapped by having it planned. That is why I am suggesting giving them the illusion of having everything open.

This is actually a great thing for me to keep in mind! As much as there vacation style is not mine, mine is not theirs either. And we do all have fun when we are together so I am confident that everything will work out in the end.

 

[TiggerandTink]

How close in age are these girls to your children? I think the younger girl might feel quite left out if she's not able to go with 'the girls' especially her big sister. Would it bother you to ride some smaller rides or is it all thrill rides for your family? Can you teach her parents about 'kid swap' for things she doesn't want to or can't ride? It might slow you down a little more, but it would be a kindness to share some Disney secrets like that with your friends.
...
Try to relax and slow down. There are lots of people involved in this trip, I'm sure there will be lots of compromises from everyone.
Enjoy the magic!

I am sure that we will all want to do some of the smaller rides, I mean who doesn't love Fantasy Land? I know we all do! So I definitely think that there will be lots that we can do together but I know that there will be times where the smallest of us will either not want to do something or will not be able to. But as you said I think if we all compromise we can come up with a solution. Like maybe if the bigger ones want to do a ride that she can't then the dad's can take them and both of us mom's can take her to do something special. Or we can mix and match the groups up so that no one feels left out but everyone has something they want to do.

And we will be in Disneyland where they have never been before and where magic happens, and we get to show it to them!! How GREAT is that!!! I bet I am excited enough for all of us and I know we will have a wonderful time.