Cam's New Lease on Life Journal (comments welcome!)

[traceycooper]

oooh Cam i'm so glad you got to go shopping
sounds so exciting make sure you take pics when you try on again
snacking ok so far

 

[keenercam]

Thanks, everyone for your support. Work has been more stressful than ever in my career. I vacillate between not being able to eat anything for fear of it not staying down, to stress-eating everything in sight. Surprisingly, I am still the same weight as a week ago.

cross-posted from my planning journal on the DIS brides forum:

Work has been so busy and stressful that I haven't had much DIS time!

First, I wanted to say what a GREAT time I had trying on dresses with Kathy and Judy. They were so supportive and non-judgmental and honest and I didn't feel self-conscious at all about being undressed in front of them. That is a HUGE deal for me. Our bridal consultant at the Demetrios Salon at Macy's Cherry Hill was so sweet and helpful and very, very patient. We ended up being there more than 3 hours!!! I don't know how many dresses I considered and how many I tried on but Kathy and Judy think close to 20! Kathy is involved in the theatre so she spent a lot of time under my skirts, straightening and tugging! LOL! Judy helped me maintain modesty, being in charge of the panel you can insert in the back of a dress to cover your skin so you can go out to the pedestal/mirrors. It was SUCH a positive experience that I absolutely intend to buy my gown there.

When all was said and done, we had 4 gowns that we all really liked on me. I have pix of me in them and will email the link if anyone wants to see. Just PM me your email address.

Will try to catch up on journals this weekend! I can't wait to hear how all my WISH journal buddies are doing!

 

[toystoryduo]

Cam,

I'm sorry to hear about all the stress at work. Sending some prayers and your way. Please be sure and take some time just for you each day.

 

[traceycooper]

Hope your having a great weekend Cam
Off to pm you for pics

 

[Blueeyes101817]

have a great weekend cam!

 

[deekaypee]

I kept promising myself that I'd come over here to catch up on your busy, busy life--I can't even imagine how exhausting & stressful it can be! You're doing such a great job, juggling all these responsibilities & demands & commitments. You should be proud of yourself--I am!

Hope you're having a great week!

 

[keenercam]

Wow! You guys are all so wonderful and so faithful. Thank you so much. I have been beyond overwhelmed and just not coping well. The stress at work has been beyond compare and there is so much going on with our friends that I feel like I should devote all of my time to being there for them, which I just am not in a position to do.

I think I've unofficially dropped out of the Big Loser challenge (I just haven't had time to visit the thread and have "forgotten" to weigh in this week) and one of my spark team DIS teammates is taking care of the March exercise challenge for me. Those are the types of responsbilities/commitments I normally love because they help me stay on track and provide fellowship opportunities and lots of support and encouragement. Alas, I am of no help to those groups right now and I am viewing the commitments as additional layers of stress instead of in the very positive way they should serve.

Unfortunately, my stress eating has been out of control and even the thought of trying on and probably ordering a wedding gown this weekend has not been motivation enough for me to get my butt in gear. Sunday night was the first night I'd slept in a week and since then I have only been doing marginally better. Usually I am so good at coping with stress and though I may vent, for the most part, most people can't tell how stressed I am. Monday night, however, my friend/partner walked me to my car, really trying to urge me to let him drive me home or to the Y but I told him I was fine. I ended up crying all the way to the Y and pulling over to try to pull myself together before seeing anyone. Last night a friend sent me an edible delights gift to cheer me up and I was an hysterical mess on the phone with her when I called to say thanks (love you, Carrie! ). By the time I got off the phone with her I felt so much better. I think I need hourly Carrie fixes in order to stay "up" and motivated, though, and I just HATE being so needy and high maintenance.

There are so many things in my life I can't control right now. You'd think I'd seize control of my eating. And I really think that getting back into a training routine (especially with the Minnie 15k being only 8 weeks away! ) will help.

This morning's breakfast was coffee cake that I didn't need and should not have eaten. I have to get back to logging my food and exercise and really thinking more about it. And I HAVE to get out of this funk.

Thanks for letting me vent. I'll be better soon. I'm sure of it.

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Cam
I hope your feeling better,
I went through feeling similar last week & am glad to report its got better so i hope it does for you too.
Take good care of you, & feel free to vent anytime

 

[toystoryduo]

Sending a great big your way, Cam. Please try and do something special for you this weekend. I hope that the situation at work improves for you very soon.

 

[MIdanceMom]

Cam,

I do hope that the stress at work can decrease soon. I am worried about you. Are there any yoga classes at the Y? Maybe some quiet time(and non-trainingfocused time) would help you center. I understand what you mean about controlling your eating, because the rest of your life is out of control. I am struggling with this too. I am trying to just focus on a day/an hour/ or a minute at a time.

I am proud of you for delegating the exercise challenge. Is there any more delegating you can do?


Beth

 

[Blueeyes101817]

I hope the stress at work goes away soon--i hate that!
Hang in there--do what you need to do!

 

[toystoryduo]

Sending a gentle and lots of your way today. Hope the situation at work is getting better for you, Cam.

 

[postesf]

Hey Cam!!! How are ya doing girl???

I saw on your Wedding Journal that things are going well on that front. Yay!!!

I'm so sorry work and all has been stressful lately. I really hope things start improving for you.

The Minnie...8 weeks away... geez! Don't remind me. I feel sooo unprepared!

You can do this!!!

Stacie

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Cam
hope your doing well
Hows the dress hunting going?

 

[deekaypee]

Just popping in to say hi, give you some and

I hope your days are going well and that you're managing the stress the best you can. I also hope your VR plans are moving along nicely. You and Howard deserve the best--I know you have that in each other, your family & friends, but you get what I mean.

 

[MIdanceMom]

Hey Cam,

Just wanted to stop in and say hello. I hope things are going well with you.


Beth

 

[toystoryduo]

Sending more , good thoughts, and your way. Hope you are doing well!

 

[keenercam]

Wow! You guys spoil me rotten with your support even when I have been so woefully absent from here.

So much has been going on that has kept me away. I have been outrageously swamped at work -- more so than ever in the 18 years I have been practicing law. It is quite draining and makes for long days, late dinners & late-night stress eating and no time for the gym.

This past weekend, we flew to Denver on Saturday night, drove almost 3 hours through a blinding snowstorm to Beaver Creek, CO (arrived 3:15am our time, 1:15 am CO time), attended my dear friend/partner's wedding on Sunday night, and left the resort at 10:15am on Monday morning--arrived home Monday night close to 11pm. I had congestion symptoms while there but have been really sick with every cold symptom above the neck imagineable since we got back. ICK!

Went to the gym last night but my equilibrium is off because of the congestion, so I rode the recumbent bike for an hour and that was it.

My weight yesterday morning was up exactly 10 pounds from when I was at the lowest adult weight ever. I was so frustrated with myself. Just a day of drinking lots of water, eating the right foods, and an hour of exercise brought me down 2.3 pounds, so now I am 7.7 away from my low point. I NEVER want to be at this number again, and I really, really NEED to lose a significant amount before I go for wedding gown measurements/ordering in May.

Thank you to everyone here who provides so much love and encouragement. I really, really appreciate you guys so much!

Oh, and for those who have asked, here is a link to my shutterfly album showing the wedding gown I have chosen:
http://camsgown.shutterfly.com/action/?a=0Ibt3DRs2cMWGu&notag=1

I'd love to hear what you all think!

Please don't post any pix from the album here, though, because Howard wants to be totally surprised and not see any pix of the gown or me in it before the big day! Thanks!

I'll be right here waiting!

Love you guys, Mean it!

 

[keenercam]

Okay, it's a relief to see the scale moving down now that I am drinking lots of water and eating less processed foods. Down 3.9 since Tuesday, which just convinces me it was from our "vacation weekend" and sodium. Now that the water weight is gone, I have to persist so that real weight will come off.

 

[postesf]

Hey Cam! Glad the scale is moving for you! Mine's not...Maybe it's broken??? (yeah, probaly not! hahah!)

Hope work gets better and you are feeling better soon! I've been fortunate to have get sick this winter... and spring is on it's way!!! Great job making it to the gym!

Keep it up girl! You can do it!!!

Stacie