BUSH POSTPONES AMBITIOUS PLAN TO CALL MORE NATIONS EVIL
Goal of Adding Forty Nations to Axis May Have to Wait, President Says
President Bush acknowledged today that his plan of adding up to forty more nations to the Axis of Evil over the next five years might have to wait, citing budgetary concerns.
Much as I regret not being able to call more nations evil right now, it simply is too expensive to do so, Mr. Bush told reporters in a press conference at the White House.
Mr. Bush explained that one unanticipated result of naming nations to the Axis of Evil was, in his words, As soon as you call them evil, dont you know they start acting as evil as you said they were.
While Mr. Bush said it was gratifying to see nations whom he had called evil living up to that designation, their evildoing had proved costly to U.S. taxpayers, with the United States spending billions to send troops to the Persian Gulf and perhaps billions more to defuse the North Korean nuclear crisis.
For this reason, the President explained, his plan to add such nations as Cameroon, Norway and the tiny Republic of Togo to the Axis of Evil would have to wait until weve got the dough.
Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz had advocated adding as many as one hundred nations to the Axis of Evil, including such surprise picks as Canada and the Netherlands, but even he acknowledged today that budgetary concerns would probably scuttle those plans.
Axis of Evil are three of the most expensive words in the English language right after dividend tax cut, Mr. Wolfowitz said.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
Goal of Adding Forty Nations to Axis May Have to Wait, President Says
President Bush acknowledged today that his plan of adding up to forty more nations to the Axis of Evil over the next five years might have to wait, citing budgetary concerns.
Much as I regret not being able to call more nations evil right now, it simply is too expensive to do so, Mr. Bush told reporters in a press conference at the White House.
Mr. Bush explained that one unanticipated result of naming nations to the Axis of Evil was, in his words, As soon as you call them evil, dont you know they start acting as evil as you said they were.
While Mr. Bush said it was gratifying to see nations whom he had called evil living up to that designation, their evildoing had proved costly to U.S. taxpayers, with the United States spending billions to send troops to the Persian Gulf and perhaps billions more to defuse the North Korean nuclear crisis.
For this reason, the President explained, his plan to add such nations as Cameroon, Norway and the tiny Republic of Togo to the Axis of Evil would have to wait until weve got the dough.
Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz had advocated adding as many as one hundred nations to the Axis of Evil, including such surprise picks as Canada and the Netherlands, but even he acknowledged today that budgetary concerns would probably scuttle those plans.
Axis of Evil are three of the most expensive words in the English language right after dividend tax cut, Mr. Wolfowitz said.
**** BOROWITZ REPORT ****
