Bus bad behavior ~ young Elementary age

[PaulaSue]

This is my oldest DC and new to me. This is her second year riding the bus.

On Tuesday my 7 yr old (this Wed), 1st grader got in trouble for standing with a bunch of other kids. The thing is she has no clue that she is in trouble for. (And here I thought the calls would be from talking too much, )

A paper was sent home and a call was made on the machine last night. I asked her about it a bunch of times and kept getting the same thing. She has no clue what is going on.

I went into school today and talked to the principal and the vice-principal. and now I can see why. They talked about it (only said standing is unsafe and to follow the bus rules) with a group, gave her a paper to give to me, but not actually told her by name that she is in trouble for standing on the bus and that is what the paper is about.

So what do I do to help make her understand it is unsafe. I want her to write a note to the bus driver but what else? I don't really know if grounding (TV and computer for a week) is the way to go. The principal said it is not really a big deal but I don't think she understands and I don't want it to happen again.

Most of my friend's DC are younger so I am asking for others OP.

 

[Disney Ella]

Can you just explain what would happen if the bus made a sharp turn or stopped suddenly while she was standing? And tell her that even if the other kids do it again, she shouldn't. It's certainly nothing worthy of a punishment IMO. She probably didn't even realize that it wasn't a good thing to do since other kids were doing it.

 

[mickeyboat]

I think a note to the bus driver would be sufficient. Also make sure she knows that riding the bus is a priviledge, and if she continues to break the bus rules, she will lose it. Then what would happen. Our school sends home a list of bus rules, maybe it would be a good time to review them with her.

This might also be a good time to review the idea that she shouldn't do something just because everyone else is doing it - she needs to make the decision for herself as to her own behavior.

Denae

 

[Rock'n Robin]

I think at that age just telling her not to do it should be enough. I don't think grounding or any type of punishment is necessary for this. If it was that bad they would have singled her out. I would just talk to her. I don't think a note is needed either, personally. But that's probably because my kids' bus driver is a complete jerk and I pick them up every day so they don't have to ride with him.
Robin M.

 

[hydster]

I think telling your dd about bus safety and why she shouldn't do it should be sufficient. I don't think writing a note to the bus driver is necessary. If she told the bus driver to shut up or something I could see it but just for standing I wouldn't make her write an apology. Tell her why she can't stand and warn her if she does it again THEN she will get punished for it.

 

[simba928]

I'm not a parent, but I think explaining what could happen if she were standing and the bus would make a sudden stop or even if it was in an accident.
When I was in 7th Grade, I was in a bus accident. It wasn't bad or anything. A car was in our lane (the guy was going the opposite direction as us, on a steep hill with sharp turns while it is raining talking on a cell phone ) We hit it obviously. Noone got severely hurt, but the other care got damaged pretty badly. There was one kid that always stood on the bus. When the bus driver would tell him to sit down, he would either ignore her or sit for a few minutes then stand back up. Only moments before the accident, the bus driver told the kid to sit down and for whatever reason, he decided to listen that day. Who knows what would have happened had he been standing. He probably would have flown over a few seats and somebody could have been seriously injured. I was sitting in the front seat on the opposite side as the driver. I flew forward and landed on the floor right next to the drivers seat, so you know that the kid would have flown forward. Hopefully something like that will never happen to your kids, though.

 

[Beth76]

Tell her not to stand on the bus. That it is unsafe and against the rules. Is it really that hard?

 

[tjmw2727]

I like the idea of writing a note, as much for your dd's sake as the bus drivers.

FWIW, this has worked very well with my dd's in the past. It seems to help re-inforce the idea of what was done and why it is wrong, unacceptable or dangerous depending on the situation. It also helps them to feel like they have done something to help correct the situation.

Keep it simple like,

I am sorry I stood on the bus and now I understand that it is unsafe. It is unsafe because _____________. She how many reasons she can come up with and this will give you a sense her understanding.

I like this because its a good logical consequence and addresses the situation. I wouldn't ground or punish in your situation especially since your dd didn't intentionally break a rule.

TJ

 

[mickeymo]

I think the letter of apology is a nice touch - I've had my children write letters of apology for misbehaving, I think it reinforces both that the behavior isn't proper and their actions affect others. One of my dd's teacher saved hers because it was the first apology letter she had ever received from a student.

Written letters of apology are rare - especially for a thankless and difficult job as a bus driver - it just might brighten his/her day...

 

[Beth76]

Did this only happen once? Or does she keep standing?

 

[PaulaSue]

Once on Tuesday, so far.

Thanks for all the replies!

 

[Living with the Land]

You know, if you have been to Disney and used the buses maybe she doesn't know it isn't safe. They cram those buses full and there are always people standing. Just a thought.

Holly

 

[PaulaSue]

You know, if you have been to Disney and used the buses maybe she doesn't know it isn't safe. They cram those buses full and there are always people standing. Just a thought.

Holly

not yet, only 56 days

 

[shortbun]

As a school bus driver, I can tell you that it is imperative she sit and stay sitting. Tell her in no uncertain terms that she is to stay seated! BTW, drivers usually do not enlist the assistance of principals unless they have asked several times and are being ignored. Bus seats are designed to protect you only if you are sitting down. Car drivers play all kinds of dangerous games with buses and bus drivers need to be watching the road. Protect your beautiful child and make sure she knows to sit.

 

[wilderness01]

Nice post from the bus driver. I agree, it is for the child's own safety that she remains seated. A note of apology is a nice touch. I wouldn't punish as she is young and a good talking to will probably do the trick. If it happens again, then I would punish by not allowing her to take the bus.

 

[Beth76]

Once on Tuesday, so far.

Then there isn't a problem, is there? I see no reason to punish her for breaking a rule she didn't know. And I see no need for a note to the driver. I think that would only embarrass her.

 

[PaulaSue]

Then there isn't a problem, is there? I see no reason to punish her for breaking a rule she didn't know. And I see no need for a note to the driver. I think that would only embarrass her.

I don't want to embarrass her but to make her understand it is a problem and not to do it again. If she gets written up again she will get banned from the bus for a week.

I grew up writing notes so I guess I am trying teaching it to my girls.

 

[Beth76]

I don't want to embarrass her but to make her understand it is a problem and not to do it again. If she gets written up again she will get banned from the bus for a week.

If she hasn't done it again then she probably understands the rule. You're making a bigger thing of this than it is. She didn't know the rule, other kids were doing it so she probably thought it was OK. She was called into the office, told it was wrong and hasn't done it since. I think the problem is solved. Perhaps a reminder not to stand on the bus again or she'll be banned wouldn't hurt. But otherwise, I don't see the need to pursue it any further.

 

[PaulaSue]

She wasn't called into the office (until I questioned the princpal on Friday)or anything like that, they just talked to all on the bus in a very general way. She really is not getting it that she did wrong. That's why I am asking for others OP so she doesn't repeat it.

I understand that you don't think it is a big deal but to me it is. Like the bus driver posted earlier, god forbid there would be a crash.

(She has only ridden the bus once since I found out about it on Thursday nite.)

 

[Lil_Tink]

Well...Our bus driver is a little crazy. She lets kids stand up..

We once almost tipped over the bus by all leaning to one side..

But I dont take that bus anymore it got a little crazy after they started moshing on it.