Brilliant Idea or Completely Impractical?

[va32h]

Or both?

My husband will soon be sent on his third deployment overseas. He is supposed to leave in May. He will be gone from 18months to 2 years.

Having been through this before, I know exactly how difficult this will be for the kids - they will be miserable. And I know how hard it is to try to keep them happy and manage the household by myself.

I have no family here in Texas, and while we do have friends here, it's not the same.

So I would like to move to Phoenix, where pretty much my entire family lives, while my husband is gone. I've researched housing, and prices are comparable.

And hey, we'd be withing driving range of Disneyland, but that is just a side benefit.

I am self-employed, so my work is essentially portable.

The only sticking point is the logistics. It would cost a few thousand dollars to move all our stuff out there, and then eventually move it back.

I am usually a practical person, but I was just so incredibly unhappy during the last deployment. We all were. I really think this makes sense.

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

Or both?

My husband will soon be sent on his third deployment overseas. He is supposed to leave in May. He will be gone from 18months to 2 years.

Having been through this before, I know exactly how difficult this will be for the kids - they will be miserable. And I know how hard it is to try to keep them happy and manage the household by myself.

I have no family here in Texas, and while we do have friends here, it's not the same.

So I would like to move to Phoenix, where pretty much my entire family lives, while my husband is gone. I've researched housing, and prices are comparable.

And hey, we'd be withing driving range of Disneyland, but that is just a side benefit.

I am self-employed, so my work is essentially portable.

The only sticking point is the logistics. It would cost a few thousand dollars to move all our stuff out there, and then eventually move it back.

I am usually a practical person, but I was just so incredibly unhappy during the last deployment. We all were. I really think this makes sense.

Definately do it. 18 months is an awfully long time without someone to depend on. Try really hard to find the money, it's a small price to pay for your happiness and peace of mind. I wish you well.

And thank you and your family for your sacrifices for my freedom

 

[Daisy Chick]

When my sister was young and had only been through one or two deployements she moved home. She was just so miserably lonely with a two year old and a newborn and nobody else. She didn't "click" with the other young moms on the base and couldn't yet afford to move anywhere else.

I thought she'd continue to come home during deployments, but she didn't. Just that one time.

I vote both: It is probably impractical but also brilliant. You'll be happier and I'll bet your family would love to have you!

 

[lovemygoofy]

Having also done this more times than I like to think about and worked with many families, I say if you think this is best for your family and you can handle it finacially wise go ahead. Are you going to sell your house in TX and buy another in Phoneix? Can you afford to do both payments if need be in case one house doesn't sell right away?

Do you think being around your family all the time would drive you crazy? I couldn't do it personally. I like to visit then I'm done. Do you really think that being near your family would make this easier for you and the children? I know how hard it is for the children and they pick up on the vibes of the parents during the deployment and that really sets the tone for the deployment. Do they want to move and switch schools or leave their friends? Will you have a way to be kept up on information from someone like in your FRG while away?

I know that for some it's just easier for them to go home and since I don't have kids I don't totally understand your situation but I know that when I'm here, I'm around other people who understand my situation and can find other ways to get through it. While your family loves you and your family, unless they live that life they will never understand how it is to live through this.

Good luck to you. No choice is super easy.

 

[Sandy V.]

I think that if your family's finances allow it, you should move closer to your family in Phoenix. The support that you would get would be well worth it. It seems to be very practical to me.

Good luck!

And please say a big "thank you" to your DH for his service to our country!!!

 

[phorsenuf]

Or both?

My husband will soon be sent on his third deployment overseas. He is supposed to leave in May. He will be gone from 18months to 2 years.

Having been through this before, I know exactly how difficult this will be for the kids - they will be miserable. And I know how hard it is to try to keep them happy and manage the household by myself.

I have no family here in Texas, and while we do have friends here, it's not the same.

So I would like to move to Phoenix, where pretty much my entire family lives, while my husband is gone. I've researched housing, and prices are comparable.

And hey, we'd be withing driving range of Disneyland, but that is just a side benefit.

I am self-employed, so my work is essentially portable.

The only sticking point is the logistics. It would cost a few thousand dollars to move all our stuff out there, and then eventually move it back.

I am usually a practical person, but I was just so incredibly unhappy during the last deployment. We all were. I really think this makes sense.

I think it sounds like a good idea considering how hard it was for you last time. Would you be renting a place or buying? If you are just renting and know you'll be back would it be possible to maybe rent a storage facility for things that you don't really need to be with you while you're gone? I know I have all kinds of stuff that I don't use on a regular basis but have it nonetheless.

Is this a move you could do yourself with a uhaul and not a moving company?

 

[Luv'sTink]

I would move back home to be by my family. It's BRILLIANT!

 

[liamsaunt]

Move to where your family is! My BIL is in the army, currently briefly based in Fort Hood but he has had a year in Korea and a year in Iraq. My sister and the kids live up here. She has both sets of grandparents nearby, plus DH and me. BIL comes back here when he can get leave. It's much more stable for the kids, and Dsis is not alone on the base.

 

[taximomfor4]

My SIL says she won't ever live off base again. She thinks the families there are so helpful toward each other. She builds a network right away, and it sticks. Also, we try as a family to take turns visiting...depending who visits, it can be helpful or just more work, lol.

You know yourself. Move back, if you think it will help you through. Long deployments are so hard! And right now, while the kids aren't school age yet, is a good time to do it...later, it'd be harder putting them into and out of schools.

Beth

 

[Debbie Jean]

This is a wonderful plan and WELL worth the money!

I can't help thinking that DH will rest easier knowing you & the little ones are with family and happier while he's away

 

[katerkat]

I'm spending $1200 to fly Russ, the two cats and myself to my parents for the next deployment - and his deployments are much shorter than the Army's. If he did a year-long tour, I'd definitely move to Jersey for the time. But my kid is younger and I don't have to worry about school or anything.

Will you be near a base to use Tricare? Or will you have to switch to Remote?

 

[mickeyfan2]

Seems like a real costly decision. This comment "I've researched housing, and prices are comparable." leads me to believe that you own a home in Texas and will buy in Phoenix. There would be realtor costs on the Texas home, closing cost on the Phoenix home and moving costs. They in 18 months the reverse will happen. Why don't you and the kids go for long stays with your family and keep the house in Texas. You could still do your business at the families house.

 

[hydster]

I've never been through what you have been through but honestly if you can swing it financially and think it's best for all of you then I think it's a wise decision! I would ask your kids if THEY want to deal with moving to a new school, making new friends, leaving where they live now all at a time when your dh is going to be leaving or gone. If they are for it and your dh is ok with it and you can swing it...why not?? If it helps you get through it I'd personally do anything to make it manageable!

I wish you all the best and I am so sorry there are so many people having to live without their spouse at this time! I KNOW I couldn't do it! Hugs to you and your family and I'm sure you'll make the best decision for you and your kids!

 

[va32h]

These are all good questions, and I have put some thought into them.

Having also done this more times than I like to think about and worked with many families, I say if you think this is best for your family and you can handle it finacially wise go ahead. Are you going to sell your house in TX and buy another in Phoneix? Can you afford to do both payments if need be in case one house doesn't sell right away?

We rent at the moment. We didn't know how long we'd be here, so we decided to rent instead of buy, although we ended up staying here for 5 years so we should have bought but that's another story.

I would probably rent in Phoenix as well. One of my brothers is a Realtor and we've already talked about finding homes in his neighborhood.

Do you think being around your family all the time would drive you crazy? I couldn't do it personally. I like to visit then I'm done. Do you really think that being near your family would make this easier for you and the children? I know how hard it is for the children and they pick up on the vibes of the parents during the deployment and that really sets the tone for the deployment. Do they want to move and switch schools or leave their friends?

The kids are excited because they would be near their cousins, who are very close in age. My oldest did express some sadness about leaving her friends. However, she would have had to change schools anyway because she is moving from elementary to jr. high in the fall, and would not have been going to school with all her old friends anyway.

My family can get on my nerves, as anyone's can, but that's why I'd have my own house!! For the most part, we are close and get along well.

Will you have a way to be kept up on information from someone like in your FRG while away?

I know that for some it's just easier for them to go home and since I don't have kids I don't totally understand your situation but I know that when I'm here, I'm around other people who understand my situation and can find other ways to get through it. While your family loves you and your family, unless they live that life they will never understand how it is to live through this.

I really don't feel like I get much support from the unit as it is anyway. My husband is active guard reserve, which means that while he is a full timer, he is attached to a reserve unit. So we don't live near a base, we live in an ordinary community, where none of my friends have spouses in the military.

For the last deployment and this one, he will not be going with his unit, but will be attached to a different one. It is certainly good for his career that he has been "requested" by some higher ups, but it sucks for us!

Anyway, I feel that I would be out of the loop whether I was in Texas or Timbuktu. The only reason I knew he was home last year was because he called me from Maine to say they were back in the states!

 

[mickeyfan2]

Now that I see that you rent, I vote that you move by your family.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

I have to say it might not sound that practical to all but I would think it is the only thing to do. Having your family around will make things easier for you and the kids. You can never have enough support from your loving family especially during such a tough time!
I will pray for your family.

 

[sorcerormickey]

I think if it is economically feasible for you - DO IT! It sounds like you would be much happier and DH would know support is there for you if you need it!

 

[ZPT1022]

I would go ahead and do it. Especially since the chance is there that it is two years. It would be nice to have the help around. Can someone fly out to where you are and help you move with a UHaul so you don't have to pay a moving company? Best of luck

 

[minkydog]

I'd absolutely move! this is the up-side of renting Wait until school gets out for summer, then pack up and move to Phoenix. Your brother can help you find a place. I think you & the kids will be happier in the long run.

My DH has never been deployed but we have moved around a lot. I am so unhappy when we are separated I don't know what I'd do if he were gone for 2yrs. Probably move back home

 

[irishbosoxfan]

Being military myself I say go for it!! You will be closer to family which beats all! The kids get to know their family better and if you can save money in the process so much the better!

If you know DH will be coming right back to TX when he's done,rent a storage unit for the items you really don't need,that way you can rent a smaller house which will cost less.

As for getting stuff that you will need to AZ--we've used ABF which saved us a ton of money over having movers come and pack everything and ship it and over Uhaul and their charges for mileage and the gas!!

With ABF they deliver a truck to your house and you load it--they only charge you for how much space you use--then they drive it to your new house and drop it off and you unload it! With all the family in AZ you can get it unloaded quickly!