Bridesmaid dress question...

[Indy's Girl]

I'm not having a disney wedding, but was hoping you ladies could help me out with a small problem I am having.

I know that bridesmaids usually pay for their own dresses, but am not sure how to broach the subject with my cousins (who I am going to be asking to be my bridesmaids) . This seems like a rather touchy subject, because bridesmaids dresses can get kind of spendy (I fell in love with a dress that runs about $180) and I have never been one to be comfortable asking other people to pay for things. So if you could give me some advice on how to do this, or tell me how you dealt with it, it would be a big help. I don't want to assume that they know they need to buy their own dresses, and I don't want them to feel pressured to come up with the money if it will be hard for them. HELP!

 

[JJClemson]

I think most bridesmaids would assume that they would be paying for their own dresses unless told otherwise. I don't think my girls ever asked me, but they just knew they were paying. If you think $180 is too much, maybe look for a cheaper dress and let them pick between the 2? Just a suggestion... sorry I could not be more helpful!

 

[StephSFL]

I like the idea of giving them a choice- that's what I did. I am the same way and hate asking people to pay for anything. I told my bridesmaids I had picked out three dresses at different price ranges and told them they could try them on and pick according to what they thought was appropriate. I was lucky in that they went for the ones I liked best!

 

[crzyred]

hello. i've been reading on this board for a while but i'm nowhere near close to getting married so this is my first post here. (i'm getting good ideas for the future!! thanks girls) anyway, i was a bridesmaid this past summer and never even thought twice about paying for the dress myself. yes they can get rather pricey, but the dress that i had to wear was a dress that i will NEVER again wear. so i struggled with that, but then again it was my best friend getting married so i kinda just said ok whatever she wants. i ended up paying well over $250 for it. And my sister was just asked to stand up in a wedding and all the bridesmaids assume they are paying for their own dress. i can't imagine how much more expensive a wedding would be if the bride/groom had to pay for all the tuxes and bridesmaid dresses.
but maybe you could bring it up by saying something like "the other girls are just writing a check for the downpayment" or something to that order.

 

[Moonpie]

I like the idea of giving them a choice- that's what I did. I am the same way and hate asking people to pay for anything. I told my bridesmaids I had picked out three dresses at different price ranges and told them they could try them on and pick according to what they thought was appropriate. I was lucky in that they went for the ones I liked best!

I did the same thing! I used the words, "I don't want you to have to spend too much for your dress, so let's go shopping together and you can pick out a dress you like in my wedding's color scheme." My matron of honor ended up with a dress she really liked, and she ended up spending over $350 for it. But it really was a dress that she liked because she picked it out.

 

[StephSFL]

I did the same thing! I used the words, "I don't want you to have to spend too much for your dress, so let's go shopping together and you can pick out a dress you like in my wedding's color scheme." My matron of honor ended up with a dress she really liked, and she ended up spending over $350 for it. But it really was a dress that she liked because she picked it out.

Great phrasing- much better than how I said it!

 

[Indy's Girl]

Thanks for all the ideas! I think I will probably try to pick out a few dresses in a price range and then ask them to decide so that they can choose what fits comfortably for them. Thanks again!

 

[Scillalee]

I don't know how many girls you have, but I have 9 bridesmaids. For me, I wasn't going to ask them what they liked because then I would get 9 different answers. I fell in love with a watters and watters bridesmaid dress that was $260. I know that is steep, but at the same time my parents paid for the bridal shower, and the only thing my girls were going to pay was their own dress, shoes, and hair. Still some complained, and I researched the same sort of dress with other companies. Everytime I found it for cheaper they didn't make the dress in light blue or silver. Finally I found a company that had the same dress (1 piece instead of 2) and came in the 2 colors I was looking for. It's price was only $140, which honestly I don't think is asking a lot. As a bridesmaid you had the choice of saying yes or no, and saying yes you take on the responsibility of paying for the dress you want. After all as a maid you are supposed to make the life of the bride easier, not harder by saying the dress is ugly, too expensive, or that you don't like the color.
I also ordered the dresses 10 months in advance, so that the girls could make monthly payments or pay all at once. The downpayment to order the dress was $50. So they had 10 months to pay $90. $9 a month is not too bad of bill............