Bridal/Baby showers - How long is it appropriate to wait for late arrivals?

[Liz]

Just wondering how long ya'll feel it is appropriate to wait for late arrivals when hosting a baby or bridal shower.

I'm asking because my daughter and I attended a baby shower today that supposedly started at 1:00. At 2:00 the host said they were still waiting for a few more people to arrive and looked around with a "I hope no one has a problem with this" look. I quietly said to her I was sorry but we had to leave at 2:30 because we had another commitment that afternoon (not knowing how much longer we'd be just sitting there). At 2:20 the girl's sister and aunt arrived and the shower began. We stayed for the first game then left about 2:40. I think its so unfair to the ones who arrive on time to wait for every person who said they were coming to get there.

I had a baby shower for my step-daughter last fall and we waited about 20 -30 min. to give everyone a chance to arrive and I felt bad doing even that. But I think an hour an 20 min. is just beyond ridiculous.

Just wondering what you think. Thanks!

 

[pearlieq]

Uh, no way!

I would maybe wait 15-20 minutes, but after that, on with the show! I usually try to structure these things to that we eat and visit for the first 45 minutes or so before moving on to the more structured activities. That way latecomers don't affect the flow too much.

 

[Kae]

I think 20 min is more than acceptable. Because things happen, like getting lost, caught by a train etc.

Kae

 

[Beth76]

15-20 minutes is fine. Almost an hour and a half is how long the shower should take. Did they even let you start eating?

 

[LoveWDW]

My policy is that I start on time. Some people are always late. Some can't help it- an unforeseen occurence. But I likely have food on a time schedule and activities planned, and it isn't fair to those who have arrived on time to make them wait. I welcome latecomers with a smile, but the problem is theirs, not mine or that of my other guests.

 

[aprilgail2]

For showers it is always important to be on time since they usually tell you to be there at 2 if the guest of honor is supposed to arrive at 230 this way no one is walking in the same time as the guest of honor and ruining the surprise. The shower usually begins as soon the guest of honor arrives! I think waiting for late comers is rude.

 

[mrsheppo]

I gave a baby shower last night and it was scheduled for 5:30. At 5:45 we started eating and the latecomers arrived at 6:10. There was still plenty of food left and we started doing games and gifts around 7:00. I personally would not wait more than 15 minutes unless the guest of honor had not arrived.

I went to a baby shower earlier this year and the hostess asked us to arrive at 5:00. She told the mom to be not to arrive until 6:30 . Didn't stay much longer as it many guests were getting restless from having to wait so long.

 

[CEDmom]

I think waiting 15-20 minutes is fine but after that it's rude to the people who arrived on time. The only reason to wait longer would be if the bride or mommy to be wasn't there.

 

[Liz]

15-20 minutes is fine. Almost an hour and a half is how long the shower should take. Did they even let you start eating?

The only thing we were served during the time I was there was ice water. I'm glad to know I wasn't out of line by leaving when I did.

 

[Stacerita]

I wouldn't wait. I would have started on time. Thats rude to show up so late and hold up the entire party. If it started at 2, then thats the start time. Waiting a few minutes, no more than 15 though, would be more than enough for the late birds. Anything after that too bad. And for them to only serve ice water till everyone showed up was rude as well. If they were waiting for everyone to get there to do games or gifts, then they should have at least let you guys eat. Sitting there that long doing nothing is not good. I could not imagine keeping the entire party waiting for a few guests.

 

[daisyduck123]

I am a very punctual person & would've waited 10 minutes tops.
I agree with you that an hour & 20 min. is beyond ridiculous.

 

[barkley]

thats just nuts! even if it was the guest of honor i would'nt sit around and wait an hour (an unavoidable delay is one thing-but just being late?).

reminds me of a wedding i attended-schedualed to start at 5pm with the reception off site following. the wedding did'nt start until 6:40 there was no unforeseen issues, the 'bridezilla' had the mindset that it was her day and 'people always know weddings start later than they are schedualed'. she was pretty surprised when about 20% of the guests had to leave midway through the 2 hour ceremony (most had traveled from out of town and had babysitters to get home to) and threw an outright hissy fit when only about 20% total showed up for the reception (myself and my friend did'nt go-we figured since they still had to do the after the wedding photos it was going to end up being midnight before the bridal party strolled in).

i should add-when a subsequent baby shower was given for her the host wisely told her the start time was an hour earlier than the invitations read. like clockwork she arrive-30 minutes after all the guests

 

[Stacerita]

i should add-when a subsequent baby shower was given for her the host wisely told her the start time was an hour earlier than the invitations read. like clockwork she arrive-30 minutes after all the guests

UGH! Thats terrible. Can't stand when people have that diva like attitude and constantly show up late.

 

[Linda/MA]

I learned my lesson at a bridal shower for a co-worker. It was held on a very hot day in a place that had no AC! Guests were supposed to arrive around 1:00 and she was to get there around 1:30 (it was supposed to be a surprise). Well, she didn't arrive until after 2:30 and then went around and talked to every single guest. It was so hot, I couldn't stand it! Finally, she starts opening gifts around 3:00 with absolutely no help from her bridal party. I swear she untied every single ribbon so as not to break them. She read every single word of every single card, took the gifts out of the boxes and had to make some comment about each item and who gave it to her. Finally, around 5:30 when there was an opportunity, I got up and left. It was difficult to sneak out because you had to walk right by where she was sitting to leave! She hadn't even gotten to my gift yet, but I just couldn't take another second. On top of all that, when we got back to work, she made a comment that, even though it was supposed to be a surprise shower, she had an idea so she took her time leaving her apartment, thinking it was funny!!!! She is usually a very thoughtful person and I like her a lot, but this was too much. I won't even go into the wedding!

 

[EthansMom]

I hate it when a host and/or hostess holds off on entertaining guests until every last person has arrived. IMO, the host(ess) has more of an obligation to the guest who have already arrived than to someone who is not yet at the event.

If I were a hostess, I would only hold off the more serious entertaining (party games, cake) for 15 minutes if some guest had not yet arrived. While waiting, the guests who are present should be offered food and beverages.

 

[disykat]

I agree. The party begins when the first guest arrives (unless they are early, which is a whole new topic!) The organized activities should begin about 15 minutes after the the start time to give latecomers time to arrive. Ideally everyone would be busy and not even notice the timeline.

There is really no excuse for delaying for over an hour - obviously some guests will have to leave long before it's over at that point. While there are sometimes good reasons for being late (an accident, detour, storm, etc.), if I was the person that arrived late I would be mortified that they kept the party waiting.

 

[VirtuallyMe]

unfortunately someone will always be late...

At the showers I have attended- they usually have some finger foods available when people arrive- and there are generally some games available to start right away like the Don't say "baby" game or whatever- and at one I attended they had some paper riddles, puzzles, word finds etc- that were all done and turned in at the beginning- basically given those who were on time or early something to do while waiting for others to arrive- prizes were given for those who did the best on each of those things- and only one late arriver made a comment of not getting to do that- and the guest of honor pointed out that she was 45 minutes late lol (it was big sister fussing at little sister lol)

I could understand 15-20 minutes built into the party schedule for people to arrive- and visit before starting games but beyond that- no I wouldn't wait for someone who was that late.

 

[MareQ]

Personally I don't think any amount of time is acceptable to "wait" - if the party is supposed to start at 1 - it starts at 1. Anybody that comes after the starting time is LATE and will have to "suffer" if they miss out on any food, drinks or activities - nobody should have to wait for late people no matter their excuse.

Seriously - people need to be more respectful and it always seems to be the same group of people that are late over and over again. Why is it so hard to just be ontime for some people????