Breast feeding in church

[Dopeygirl]

I can sympathize with someone being uncomfortable and preferring that the mom leave service to feed their child (even though I obviously dont think it is necessary), but I am APPALLED that anyone would think that simply NOT FEEDING them is the answer. Everything I have seen of the subject strongly discourages trying to force infants to fit a strict 'schedule'. Yes, moms can try their best to plan ahead, but there is no way that the babies are always going to comply with even the best planning.

Amen!

Really, we are just moms, trying to give our babies what they need. Give us a little support please. For every mom who has the strength to feed their child in a public place, there is another mom at home, missing church, for fear of being judged.

Another amen! I'd venture to say its more like for every one NIP, there are 2-3 who are at home for those reasons. Not to mention the ones who never give it a chance for fears of being judged.

 

[Disney Doll]

Oh God...here we go again

 

[staci]

I was a bad mommy and brought her to bed with me when she woke up in the middle of the night. Then she just nursed off and on at her leisure. QUOTE]

We actually did that with ds too, although he never slept through the night until 15 months! For the first 6 months it was about every 3 hours. He would go until about 4 am from about 10 months on, but he held onto that 4 am feeding until I absolutely had to force myself to stop him

 

[staci]

Not to mention the ones who never give it a chance for fears of being judged.

I know quite a few of those people, I always found it really sad. One is a good friend of mine. She gave it up after less than 2 weeks with her first baby, but she is now at 5 months with the second and still going strong! Its so much easier when you have a circle of support around you.

 

[DisneyPhD]

I know quite a few of those people, I always found it really sad. One is a good friend of mine. She gave it up after less than 2 weeks with her first baby, but she is now at 5 months with the second and still going strong! Its so much easier when you have a circle of support around you.

Very true.

Oh and my DD only just started sleeping all night last month!!!! (no even every night now, but at least half the time! ) She would wake up to nurse every 2 hours on the dot! I was a pretty grumpy mommy for a while there.

 

[RoyalCanadian]

I'm a pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada -- that's about my only qualification for weighing in on this subject.

These are a few of my favourite things:

• hearing and seeing children in worship.
• finding crayons, Cheerios, raisins, Shreddies stuffed under the pew cushions.
• listening to baby bottles, toy cars, rattles and balls rolling under the pews.

All of these things remind me that the Church has a future. A Church without children at worship is a church that has little or no future.

I can see a lot from my vantage point in the chancel of the Church. Yes, I have seen mothers breastfeeding their children during worship. I have stumbled across young mothers feeding their children while reclining in my office chair (hey -- I was the one who told them it was a comfortable place to sit); I have found them feeding their children in the church parlour and the chapel. I have watched infants learn to roll over on the floor of my secretary's office and then learn which drawer contains the crayons and colouring books.

The congregation I served in Cambridge, Ontario provided pew bags (sewn by the Church secretary, initially filled by the Church women's group, and kept stocked with drinking boxes and raisins by the same young mother I found breastfeeding in my office one Sunday during worship). These bags contain everything needed to maintain the attention of a young child for about 60 minutes -- a colouring book, crayons, a picture story book, and raisins and a drinking box to fill their little tummies until it's time for the bread and wine at communion.

In all these things I see the Church fulfilling its call to minister to the world. The Church is made for the people -- people are not made for the Church.

 

[staci]

I'm a pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada -- that's about my only qualification for weighing in on this subject.

I think that is a very strong qualification!

Your church sounds amazing! Can I come! (actually, I think the commute might be a bit much )

Seriously, though, thank you for your two cents

 

[luvmydogs]

I'm a pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada -- that's about my only qualification for weighing in on this subject.

These are a few of my favourite things:

• hearing and seeing children in worship.
• finding crayons, Cheerios, raisins, Shreddies stuffed under the pew cushions.
• listening to baby bottles, toy cars, rattles and balls rolling under the pews.

......In all these things I see the Church fulfilling its call to minister to the world. The Church is made for the people -- people are not made for the Church.

This is one of the lovliest and most poignant posts I've read in a very long time. Thank you for taking the time to write this, Neil. What a realistic, kind and inclusive perspective.

 

[disneyfreakjackie]

I don't like breastfeeding in public no matter how "discreet" one claims to be. So, of course I would say no to breastfeeding in church as well.

I AGREE!!!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I'm a pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada -- that's about my only qualification for weighing in on this subject.

Hey, I'd like to come to your service and we're Jewish!

What a wonderful attitude you have and you are so correct. If people feel welcome with young children they will be more likely to come, will stay with it even as their children grow up, and will tell others.

 

[Nancy]

Are you serious? You do realize that formula is a relatively new thing, don't you? What do you think babies ate before it was around? The one thing I'll never understand is how people don't realize that every mammal "breastfeeds", as God/nature intended it- and we are mammals! Our bodies make the milk for a reason, it was never even a choice until fairly recently.

Before I comment on this, I have no problems with nursing anywhere, anytime...not an issue to me.

BUT, before formula all moms nursed, but back in those days Moms didn't leave their houses like we do now, they stayed home and took care of the baby there. Babies didn't leave the house until they were Baptized (I still have a friend that won't let anyone touch her babies or she won't leave the house with them until then, she wouldn't even sit outside in the summer with one of hers) Back before formula, Moms wore dresses and high heels and gloves when they went out...they didn't take their babies everywhere with them. Times change, different eras. So it's not the same because 50 years ago a Mom would never had BF in public. If you think people get in an uproar now over this topic, just imagine what would have happened 50 years ago.

 

[Missy1961]

I'm a pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada -- that's about my only qualification for weighing in on this subject.

These are a few of my favourite things:

• hearing and seeing children in worship.
• finding crayons, Cheerios, raisins, Shreddies stuffed under the pew cushions.
• listening to baby bottles, toy cars, rattles and balls rolling under the pews.

All of these things remind me that the Church has a future. A Church without children at worship is a church that has little or no future.

I can see a lot from my vantage point in the chancel of the Church. Yes, I have seen mothers breastfeeding their children during worship. I have stumbled across young mothers feeding their children while reclining in my office chair (hey -- I was the one who told them it was a comfortable place to sit); I have found them feeding their children in the church parlour and the chapel. I have watched infants learn to roll over on the floor of my secretary's office and then learn which drawer contains the crayons and colouring books.

The congregation I served in Cambridge, Ontario provided pew bags (sewn by the Church secretary, initially filled by the Church women's group, and kept stocked with drinking boxes and raisins by the same young mother I found breastfeeding in my office one Sunday during worship). These bags contain everything needed to maintain the attention of a young child for about 60 minutes -- a colouring book, crayons, a picture story book, and raisins and a drinking box to fill their little tummies until it's time for the bread and wine at communion.

In all these things I see the Church fulfilling its call to minister to the world. The Church is made for the people -- people are not made for the Church.

This is simply one of the most wonderful posts I have ever read on these boards. Thank you!

 

[castlegazer]

I'm a pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada -- that's about my only qualification for weighing in on this subject.

These are a few of my favourite things:

• hearing and seeing children in worship.
• finding crayons, Cheerios, raisins, Shreddies stuffed under the pew cushions.
• listening to baby bottles, toy cars, rattles and balls rolling under the pews.

All of these things remind me that the Church has a future. A Church without children at worship is a church that has little or no future.

I can see a lot from my vantage point in the chancel of the Church. Yes, I have seen mothers breastfeeding their children during worship. I have stumbled across young mothers feeding their children while reclining in my office chair (hey -- I was the one who told them it was a comfortable place to sit); I have found them feeding their children in the church parlour and the chapel. I have watched infants learn to roll over on the floor of my secretary's office and then learn which drawer contains the crayons and colouring books.

The congregation I served in Cambridge, Ontario provided pew bags (sewn by the Church secretary, initially filled by the Church women's group, and kept stocked with drinking boxes and raisins by the same young mother I found breastfeeding in my office one Sunday during worship). These bags contain everything needed to maintain the attention of a young child for about 60 minutes -- a colouring book, crayons, a picture story book, and raisins and a drinking box to fill their little tummies until it's time for the bread and wine at communion.

In all these things I see the Church fulfilling its call to minister to the world. The Church is made for the people -- people are not made for the Church.

Thank You Pastor! From another Lutheran. Although, I am Wisconsin Synod and well, we are an uptight bunch so I go to the nursery to breastfeed. But I feel also, that children are the life of the church and should be encouraged to commune with God throughout their lives - not discouraged by those who feel they are a distraction.

 

[sha_lyn]

Nancy... Human life didn't start 50 yrs ago. You skipped over centuries of women who did BF in "public". Actually by 50 yrs ago many women were bottle feeding not breastfeeding.

 

[KimR]

So it's not the same because 50 years ago a Mom would never had BF in public. If you think people get in an uproar now over this topic, just imagine what would have happened 50 years ago.

This is not necessarily true or maybe it is a regional thing. My MIL is in her late 60s and has told me that she used to watch mothers breastfeed on the bus when she was a little girl. She thought it was wonderful and that was what inspired her to breastfeed her babies back in the 60s when everyone else was formula feeding.

 

[DisneyPhD]

RoyalCanadian, thank you so much for your post. It brought tears to my eyes. I wish I could find a church like at close to me home. (I need to put more effort into looking.)

As a breast feeding mother I am happy that my older DD and her cousins know what breast are for. They are so used to it, it is not surpizing at all. I feel very confident that when they become parents breastfeeding is something they will strongly consider.

 

[georgina]

Now, if it were my first son, I would have never even gone to church for fear that this would happen and be scared that someone would be mad at me. He wouldnt take a bottle and ate very frequently. But now, if I had a baby and it were hungry, I probably would feed them in church.

Really, we are just moms, trying to give our babies what they need. Give us a little support please. For every mom who has the strength to feed their child in a public place, there is another mom at home, missing church, for fear of being judged.

I loved this post, staci. I too stayed home with my first a lot because she was always eating and would not take a bottle. By the time I had my third, it became necessary to BF wherever we happened to be. I couldn't be at the playground and make everyone leave because I had to feed the baby! There are so many ways disapproving people can keep others from going to church. Our pastor says it should be like a Thanksgiving dinner - all the relatives come and it can be noisy and messy.

 

[Planogirl]

Before I comment on this, I have no problems with nursing anywhere, anytime...not an issue to me.

BUT, before formula all moms nursed, but back in those days Moms didn't leave their houses like we do now, they stayed home and took care of the baby there. Babies didn't leave the house until they were Baptized (I still have a friend that won't let anyone touch her babies or she won't leave the house with them until then, she wouldn't even sit outside in the summer with one of hers) Back before formula, Moms wore dresses and high heels and gloves when they went out...they didn't take their babies everywhere with them. Times change, different eras. So it's not the same because 50 years ago a Mom would never had BF in public. If you think people get in an uproar now over this topic, just imagine what would have happened 50 years ago.

I think that you might have to go back more than 50 years but otherwise I agree with you. There was certainly a time when people were much more prudish and formal than nowadays and just didn't do certain things in public. I definitely can't see ladies from the Victorian era or during the colonial period out in public doing much of anything in fact.

But times change and things are changing now. It just sometimes takes time and a lot of people aren't willing to allow for that time.

 

[ReneeA]

I'm shocked at all of the posters that send their kids to the nursery. We go to a very old Catholic Church. It doesn't even HAVE a nursery in it. My husband was baptised there, and has attended his whole life so there is NO reason for us to seek another since we have kids. Our priest has always encouraged us to attend with our babies since it teaches them at a young age to go to church, and to like it.

Do they get hungry? YES. Do I feed them, YES. Do I whip my WHOLE breast out in public to feed them - NO. I have, however, modestly breastfed them during mass. Since there is no nursery, I assumed everyone would much prefer I breastfeed them to listening to a screeching baby...who, by the way would screech until I FED her.

As for scheduling the feedings around church, it was possible for one baby. My son would eat anytime, anywhere, hungry or not. Daughter would refuse and scream if she wasn't hungry and saw you coming at her with the breast. She ate when it was convenient for her...not for anyone else.

I think it's a natural thing to do...can't understand why some are bothered by it.

ReneeA

 

[Nancy]

Nancy... Human life didn't start 50 yrs ago. You skipped over centuries of women who did BF in "public". Actually by 50 yrs ago many women were bottle feeding not breastfeeding.

I guess I was thinking on how modesty morals have changed since 50 years ago. I was really commenting on the other statement made that was referring to that time, when formula first came in to the marketplace. Think June Cleaver...could you see her nursing in public? That's how I remember things from my childhood. I never ever saw a woman BF when I was younger. I really didn't see it at all until I was already in my 20's. (I'm 47 now) Maybe it was a regional thing. I do see it all over now and most of the nursing is done very discreetly. I have seen a few that just can't seem to nurse without exposing a lot...I feel those are the ones trying to push the envelope so to speak, waiting to get a reaction. Most I see you wouldn't even know what they were doing unless you were looking close and gawking.