Borderline Personality and/or Bipolar Disorder

[TacoBaco]

Does anyone on the boards (who doesn't mind sharing) have anyone in their lives (self, father, mother, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, spouse, child, friend, boss, etc. etc.) who has been diagnosed with BPD or Bipolar Disorder?

If you would be so inclined, I'd like to hear about behaviors you have witnessed, maybe what age the diagnoses was made, how you interact with the individual and just some general information about their everyday lives? Thank you!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Why?

 

[Princess Dolly]

Why?

I wonder why, too. It would help to give you the insight you are looking for to know why you are asking the question.

 

[TacoBaco]

Well... because I believe that someone in my life has BPD, and I struggle with whether or not this person realizes the chaos they cause, and whether or not they can truly help it. (both a doctor & psychiatrist have suspected BPD as well, but will not make the diagnosis because said individual is under the age of 18) Which is why I was curious when others where officially diagnosed..

Soooo, I wondered if anyone on the boards may have someone in their life with this disorder, and what some of your experiences have been,, how do you interact with someone whom you love, who requires extreme amounts of patience? And if it is yourself who may have it, what is life like for you? Help me to see things from your side of the fence. Is there anything I can do to help?

 

[Princess Dolly]

I've never heard that being under age 18 precluded anyone from a diagnosis (maybe before the 1990s, but not now). Yes there are some other mental conditions based on age that can overlap, but again that doesn't preclude them from persuing something. Go see a professional. From your description I am going to guess this is your daughter. You just had a big move. Go seek help if this is what you truly believe it is.

 

[ilovemk76]

Well... because I believe that someone in my life has BPD, and I struggle with whether or not this person realizes the chaos they cause, and whether or not they can truly help it. (both a doctor & psychiatrist have suspected BPD as well, but will not make the diagnosis because said individual is under the age of 18) Which is why I was curious when others where officially diagnosed..

Soooo, I wondered if anyone on the boards may have someone in their life with this disorder, and what some of your experiences have been,, how do you interact with someone whom you love, who requires extreme amounts of patience? And if it is yourself who may have it, what is life like for you? Help me to see things from your side of the fence. Is there anything I can do to help?

Is this your DD?

 

[clm10308]

I would seek a 2nd or 3rd opinion from a medical professional that specializes in working with children with those issues.

My nephew was diagnosed as bipolar among other things somewhere around age 6. I can't remember his exact age. This has been a difficult road for his parent and sister.

 

[shortbun]

I've never heard that being under age 18 precluded anyone from a diagnosis (maybe before the 1990s, but not now). Yes there are some other mental conditions based on age that can overlap, but again that doesn't preclude them from persuing something. Go see a professional. From your description I am going to guess this is your daughter. You just had a big move. Go seek help if this is what you truly believe it is.

I spoke to a well known child psychiatrist last year about this very topic. He said they don't like to diagnose before the age of 21-22. He gave an explanation but I don't remember the details.

OP, my brother was diagnosed manic-depressive schitzophrenic at age 19. He's in his 50's now. He's always been great about taking his meds, getting them adjusted, eating a very healthy diet, allowing enough time and environment for sleep. He never wants to feel that bad again, according to him. Back then and again now, they were administering electric shock therapy. He had a few treatments but never has needed them again. They also put him on a mega vitamin therapy which really helped. He still takes some supplements but mostly does it with diet. Good luck. The behaviors? They were bad but he ended up in a psych ward and it was up hill after that.

 

[Princess Dolly]

I spoke to a well known child psychiatrist last year about this very topic. He said they don't like to diagnose before the age of 21-22. He gave an explanation but I don't remember the details.

OP, my brother was diagnosed manic-depressive schitzophrenic at age 19. He's in his 50's now. He's always been great about taking his meds, getting them adjusted, eating a very healthy diet, allowing enough time and environment for sleep. He never wants to feel that bad again, according to him. Back then and again now, they were administering electric shock therapy. He had a few treatments but never has needed them again. They also put him on a mega vitamin therapy which really helped. He still takes some supplements but mostly does it with diet. Good luck. The behaviors? They were bad but he ended up in a psych ward and it was up hill after that.

Even if they don't give an official diagnosis, the OP would get the info she needs to deal with whatever is going on by seeking out a professional. Asking a message board how to deal with someone who may be either bipolar or Boderline Personality could have very bad results for the OP and her daughter.

Knowing she just moved and does not have employment may make it difficult, but there may be some county or state program that may be able to help.

 

[Stitchfans]

My ex husband is bi polar. He did not tell me before we were married and I was blind sided when he went into an episode. I stood by his side for 18 years of marriage but couldn't any longer because I just could not dig us out of debt any more. Had dug us out 4 times with the last time resulting in having to sell my house.

From what I understand just like with everything else not everyone has the exact same symptoms. My ex went on big spending sprees. Referred to himself as Santa Claus on his last episode. Then later changed to Superman, where he thought no one could "touch" him. That of course was during his highs.

He goes on high and low moods swings. He becomes very irrational, irritable, unpredictable, a social butterfly who spends money he doesn't have during his high moods. When he is in a low he is withdrawn, very quiet and sometimes very sleepy. My ex was usually on a high, seldom low. One of the classic symptoms is feeling like they do not need their meds because they feel well and then they go off of them.

From what I noticed the episodes can also come during specific seasons. My ex's usually only started during winter or spring. Often ruining Easter. Not sure if that is an actual symptom for triggers. Each person has a trigger, which along with stress puts them into an episode. Or at least that is how it appears to work with my ex husband.

Hope this helps and hope you get the loved one the help they need soon. A person suffering with the bi polar illness can live a "normal" productive life if they work at it. In my ex's case the only reason he is an ex is because he did not want to stay as a couple if we were not married. I could not afford to have my name legally linked to his for fear of losing everything in case he spent it all or did something foolish to end up being sued.

It was his choice to move on and break up our family. Maybe in his case, I am assuming the responsibility of being part of a family was too much.

 

[shortbun]

Even if they don't give an official diagnosis, the OP would get the info she needs to deal with whatever is going on by seeking out a professional. Asking a message board how to deal with someone who may be either bipolar or Boderline Personality could have very bad results for the OP and her daughter.

Knowing she just moved and does not have employment may make it difficult, but there may be some county or state program that may be able to help.

Well, some of you have way more information than do I. Staying in contact with a medical professional is no doubt a good idea.

 

[TacoBaco]

Yes, it's the DD...

And yes we have sought help, from both doctors, counselors and psychiatrists... DD rarely asks for help, on the rare occasion that she has, by the time we make to a place that can help her, she has already switched moods... We have even been to the hospital before and were told that they didn't offer the services she needed and recommend us to counselors... She doesn't want counselors, we've been thru many for several years, who all eventually "give up" on her, because she won't open up..

She was on some medicine once, but quit taking them because she didn't feel that she needed it,, I however felt that she was doing MUCH better, and saw improvements in both her mood, and behavior..

I'm not really searching for advice, I'm just curious how others have found the courage to continue every day, for those who have been in the situation, they understand what I mean. Some days are just so hard...

AND, I do realize that the move has threw her into a new, unstable environment,, and stability is very important... BUT, we moved from a small town, where everyone had already labeled her a misfit, because they just didn't want to understand her... and then she fell into the wrong crowd and began living up to everyone's expectations, I know she wanted to change and leave that label behind, but she couldn't find the support she needed in such a small town judgmental environment. Now she has a fresh start, to reinvent herself...

 

[CathrynRose]

Are you sure she's not just a teenager.....who just moved....across the country?

I remember being PISSSSSED in Jr High, when we moved a mile away, into a wayyy bigger house, because I had to switch schools. I can't imagine, across the country.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Bottom line, they have to take meds. If she won't take meds and is under 18 you can put her in in-patient treatment.

Yes it is hard. However you are in a race to get her on her meds before she turns 18.

Once she is 18 you are screwed, trust me.

That being said, not all people can be helped by meds and you have to continue searching for a place that will help you.

Think of it as a quest.

Sending you a PM...

 

[SaraJayne]

Are you sure she's not just a teenager.....who just moved....across the country?

I remember being PISSSSSED in Jr High, when we moved a mile away, into a wayyy bigger house, because I had to switch schools. I can't imagine, across the country.

That's what I'm thinking. Not to mention the instability of neither parent having a job.

 

[furb & dez]

She was on some medicine once, but quit taking them because she didn't feel that she needed it,, I however felt that she was doing MUCH better, and saw improvements in both her mood, and behavior..

I'm not really searching for advice, I'm just curious how others have found the courage to continue every day, for those who have been in the situation, they understand what I mean. Some days are just so hard...

This (bold, above) is extremely common from what I understand. "I feel better! I don't need this medication!" *rapidly worsens, crashes, start therapy again* "I feel better! I don't need this medication!" *rapidly worsens, crashes, start therapy again* "I feel better! I don't need this medication!" *rapidly worsens, crashes, start therapy again*, repeat until they die.

If it was a more distant relation or a friend/cow-orker/whatever, my advice would just be to cut the person out of your life. People who are BPD/Bi-polar are basically timebombs and (from personal experience) not worth wasting any mental energy over. Untreated, they will wreak havoc and drama on everyone they know. With proper treatment they can be as normal as anyone else, but there's always the chance for things to go off in just a heartbeat.

Since it's your daughter, all I can offer is condolences and hope that you find some kind of peace. If you're lucky you may get through to her eventually and she might get better. Personal experience shows me that's not often the case.

 

[Princess Dolly]

This (bold, above) is extremely common from what I understand. "I feel better! I don't need this medication!" *rapidly worsens, crashes, start therapy again* "I feel better! I don't need this medication!" *rapidly worsens, crashes, start therapy again* "I feel better! I don't need this medication!" *rapidly worsens, crashes, start therapy again*, repeat until they die.

If it was a more distant relation or a friend/cow-orker/whatever, my advice would just be to cut the person out of your life. People who are BPD/Bi-polar are basically timebombs and (from personal experience) not worth wasting any mental energy over. Untreated, they will wreak havoc and drama on everyone they know. With proper treatment they can be as normal as anyone else, but there's always the chance for things to go off in just a heartbeat.

Since it's your daughter, all I can offer is condolences and hope that you find some kind of peace. If you're lucky you may get through to her eventually and she might get better. Personal experience shows me that's not often the case.

I've dealt with my mom having bipolar disorder since I was 10. My father passed away when I was 12, so for a good amount of time it was just her and me. Yes, there have been ups and downs. But we always got/get through it. Anyway, what a hateful post.

ETA: Seeing you are missing your signature and avatar, I guess this type of post is just par for the course with you.

 

[ZachnElli]

OP'r, are you being serious? Some of the responses have me thinking maybe not. I am dealing with this with one of my kids and I don't believe you took her to a hospital and they couldn't help you. I live in a much smaller city and we have in- patient pediatric psychiatric units in several hospitals here.

 

[TacoBaco]

Are you sure she's not just a teenager.....who just moved....across the country?

I remember being PISSSSSED in Jr High, when we moved a mile away, into a wayyy bigger house, because I had to switch schools. I can't imagine, across the country.

That's what I'm thinking. Not to mention the instability of neither parent having a job.

No, no,,, this has been an issue since she was in grade school, she is now entering 10th.... We have been in counseling, and seen multiple counselors/therapist, doctors and psychiatrist since 7th grade...

This (bold, above) is extremely common from what I understand. "I feel better! I don't need this medication!" *rapidly worsens, crashes, start therapy again* "I feel better! I don't need this medication!" *rapidly worsens, crashes, start therapy again* "I feel better! I don't need this medication!" *rapidly worsens, crashes, start therapy again*, repeat until they die.

If it was a more distant relation or a friend/cow-orker/whatever, my advice would just be to cut the person out of your life. People who are BPD/Bi-polar are basically timebombs and (from personal experience) not worth wasting any mental energy over. Untreated, they will wreak havoc and drama on everyone they know. With proper treatment they can be as normal as anyone else, but there's always the chance for things to go off in just a heartbeat.

Since it's your daughter, all I can offer is condolences and hope that you find some kind of peace. If you're lucky you may get through to her eventually and she might get better. Personal experience shows me that's not often the case.

Denial is a huge issue with BPD, from what I've read it's very hard to get them to accept that there is a problem...

And for those who asked why they won't make the diagnosis prior to 18, well, I was told, that for BPD anyway that it's a personality disorder.... and the personality of a 15 year old has not been fully established,, they are still growing and changing,, and aren't fully developed till 18-22,, therefor they don't like to "label" them prior to full maturity...

 

[RadioNate]

Are we talking BiPolar or Borderline? Borderline commonly uses the BPD acronym in mental heath circles. They are two very different diagnosis in the DSM-IV. While they share some symptoms they are pretty different disorders. The root causes are generally significantly different & treatment varies a lot between the two.