Bit of a sad thread

[dcentity2000]

This is quite a long, emotional thing, so feel free not to read. I'll try and keep it interesting for you all

At the start of October 2003 I moved to Southampton to start my studies at the university. As every fresher does I moved into halls - Gateley Hall in my case, a southern and quiet halls of residence. This was of course an intimidating time - I was studying quite far away from my girlfriend who I missed the day she left, I was being thrown in to a new residence, a new city, a new county, a new regime and all - seemingly - without anyone around me to help! How intimidating things can be...

Time passed and I got to know other members of my flat. I finally understood that the stereotypical view that students drank a lot and went clubbing all the time was complete rubbish - students weren't (at least here) anything like that, they were ordinary people, and absolutely wonderful to know! We all grew accustomed to propping our doors open and wondering in and out within our flat; meals became social things and we started to throw mini style flat parties. We became not friends but family.

I'm at university now, typing this, in my room, now stripped bare. No posters on the wall, no photographs with glossed smiles painted on their lacquered surface. No soft toys from my girlfriend, no letters from my family. Not even the dream catchers, incense sticks or tiny candles. Not even the voices of my friends.

My flat is now empty.

I cannot describe or even begin to describe to you the overwhelming sadness I felt climbing up the stairs to our front door this evening, knowing that the laughter of the people I knew would be in the walls, no longer floating in the air. The lights were all off, the windows all shut and locked. The place has a dull echo to it.

I miss how things were.



Rich::

 

[Van Helsing]

For a minute i thought you were an English fan writing from a Portuguese jail

 

[Danauk]

I know what you mean. When I moved out of my shared house that I lived in with my best friends for 3 years at uni I felt the same. But 6 years later I love my life, my home (which I moved into straight from my uni house), my new friends and my new surroundings.
Good luck.

 

[Saffron]

That is sad. But you have great memories there!

Imagine how a mom or dad feels when their last or only baby moves out. Even though it can be a very proud moment for a parent (like a wedding or college or their child's first apartment etc), there is still something so sad in the brand new silence.

Until the party begins that is!

 

[luvmydogs]

I'm so very sorry you're feeling sad, Rich. Reading your post took me back to my freshman year in college--1984! I went to an all-women's college in NY, and it was quite the intimidating experience for me, too. So many of these women were from elite private schools, drove Jaguars of their own, and looked to be the epitome of wealth, prestige and intelligence--never did I think I'd fit in. Oh, how my prejudments proved me wrong! I made friends with some of the most wonderful, interesting and diverse group of women--we became like sisters. For four years we shared each other's successes, failures, boyfriends and family tragedies. Like you and your friends--we were family. Separation in the summertime and dealing with the abscence of friends who were graduating before I, was a sad time.

For what it is worth, Rich, I graduated in 1988, and some of the most important relationships in my life presently are with those wonderful women whom I met 20 years ago! We are separated by hundreds of miles--thousands in some cases--but it hasn't diminished the closeness and familial bonds that were formed so long ago! Some friends have come and gone. Priorities have changed and some have lost touch--it's all part of life. But you may never likely experience the kind of friendships like you will while you're at university. You're there together; learning, celebrating, arguing, experiencing ...The list goes on and on! I'm sorry you're feeling lonely, but believe me, your friends are out there, telling others of their wonderful mate, Rich--their friend they just can't wait to share good times with again. And they will!

I'm sorry if I'm sounding out of touch and too "motherly." Take care, Sweetie, and I hope you feel better about things very soon!

 

[Cinderellafifi]

It won't last! Stay busy and focused to keep your mind occupied. Keep posting here, too, so you know you aren't so much "alone."

 

[Micca]

Time to get out and start clubbing

 

[arminnie]

Originally posted by luvmydogs
I'm so very sorry you're feeling sad, Rich. Reading your post took me back to my freshman year in college--1984! I went to an all-women's college in NY, and it was quite the intimidating experience for me, too. So many of these women were from elite private schools, drove Jaguars of their own, and looked to be the epitome of wealth, prestige and intelligence--never did I think I'd fit in. Oh, how my prejudments proved me wrong! I made friends with some of the most wonderful, interesting and diverse group of women--we became like sisters.

If that was motherly then I will grandmotherly. I started my freshman year at an all-women's college in New Orleans in 1964 and had pretty much the same experience as luvmydogs. "So many of these women were from elite private schools, drove Jaguars of their own, and looked to be the epitome of wealth, prestige and intelligence--never did I think I'd fit in." I made wonderful friends that I still have. In fact, I am going to New Orleans next weekend for a once a year brunch that we have to catch up with each other.

I'm so glad that you made such good friends that you will miss them this summer. I hope you are still having reunions with them in 40 years like I am.

 

[minniecarousel]

Summers can be tough! My younger son is staying in his University town this summer, but he comes home when he can (it's about 2 1/2 - 3 hr drive). He's been helping friends move out - & he changed apartments too. So many of his best friends graduated and he broke up with his girlfriend about 3 months ago. I'm hoping that he has enough to keep him busy until classes start up again in late August.

So hang in there, Rich - the summer will go by fast! (do you have some fun things to do this summer? Try to stay busy.)

 

[OhMari]

Good Lord, my daughter cried the first month home and she was in her second year at a university. August 30 cannot come fast enough for her.