Birthday Party Advice Re: Parents and Siblings

[HLAuburn]

Little Suzie is pleased to cordially invite Little Billy and a parent or guardian of his choice to her birthday party at the Super Fun Awesome Exclusive Waterpark. There will be cake and ice cream for the kids, canapes and mocktails for the adults, and a good time will be had by all.

Date:
Time:

Bring your bathing suit!

Note: A parent or guardian MUST be in attendance at all times, as the hostess will not be responsible for any accidental drownings.

***

Very funny...not sure if that's supposed to be a joke or not, but quite amusing! I think I'll copy and paste that to the invites...especially the canapes!

Frankly, at a birthday party, I DO expect the hostess to entertain and supervise my child. I would be most perturbed if I picked my (under 10) child up and the child said, "Suzie's mom told us to amuse ourselves and then went off to have a nap."

I'm not sure how many times I have to post this, but I'm only concerned about the kids safety around the pool. Personally, there's only a few people I would trust to watch my kid in the water, so I would NOT let my daughter go to a pool party without me or her dad, but obviously that's just me. It's not like I'm going to lounging on a beach chair with a frozen drink and instruct the kids to run along so they don't block my sun.

I appreciate everyone's advice, but I can see this is going no where fast! Thanks for all the responses and I'll be sure to update when we decide what to do and let everyone know how it goes! Other than that, I think I'm over the party planning for now...I need to get through Christmas!

 

[Magpie]

I still amazed at how many people will drop their kids off at such a young age with relative strangers. DD went to many birthday parties while in grammar school, but 5, 6, 7 years of age? How well do you actually know these parents? Overprotective -- maybe, but better safe than sorry. FWIW, she's 15 now and I don't go to parties with her anymore.

OP it's your party, you make the rules. Simple as that. No siblings -- fine, parents need to stay -- fine, they don't like it -- tough. Then RSVP no.

I always made the parents feel more than welcome and supplied food and beverages for them. As I said, there were also a group of us that used to take turns staying with the kids while the other parents left. And sometimes it was more of a social gathering for the parents than the kids. It's nice to actually be able to sit down and get to know the parents of your kid's friends.

At 5, 6, 7, my child was perfectly capable of calling me and asking me to come pick her up if she was unhappy. I was not concerned that the host parents would harm her in any way.

But you have reminded me of a very funny birthday party I attended awhile back. The boy was turning 12, and his parents were hosting the birthday party in their restaurant, which was closed for the event. The invitation was addressed to only my son.

We walked in, expecting to drop our son off, only to be snagged by the mother who was saying, "Sit! Eat!"

Every time a parent arrived, they were seated. No one wanted to be rude, so in short order all of us are sitting around a table, staring at each other. Meanwhile our boys huddled around a TV set in the corner, playing video games and ignoring us.

I had a nice chat with one of the other mums, but it was definitely awkward. And our poor dog was left sitting in the car, out in the parking lot, wondering what on earth had happened to us all!

My husband ended up wandering outside so he could discretely call his mom to let her know that she'd be keeping our daughter company for awhile longer. Then he came back and we did our best to break the ice. Unfortunately there were language problems as the adults spoke French, or Chinese, or Korean, or Russian... Luckily my husband's French is excellent.

Once the cake was served and the presents were opened, people cleared out fast!

I think it was a perfect example of a culture clash in action.

 

[Magpie]

Very funny...not sure if that's supposed to be a joke or not, but quite amusing! I think I'll copy and paste that to the invites...especially the canapes!

It's meant both humourously, and quite seriously! It's always good to be explicit about your expectations where birthday parties are concerned. If you like the invite and you think your guests will be amused, by all means use it!

 

[RadioNate]

All of this is EXACTLY why I stopped hosting birthday parties for my kids. My DS's last birthday party was when he turned 6. We went bowling and all the parents and brothers and sisters stuck around and bowled. My bill for the 2 hour party was well over $500.

The last 3 years we took him to WDW. My DD had a 1st birthday party and that was it. Last year we took her to MVMCP. This year my dad is coming over. I'll have a cake and likely send DS out to recruit some of the neighbor kids to come eat it.

 

[HLAuburn]

All of this is EXACTLY why I stopped hosting birthday parties for my kids. My DS's last birthday party was when he turned 6. We went bowling and all the parents and brothers and sisters stuck around and bowled. My bill for the 2 hour party was well over $500.

The last 3 years we took him to WDW. My DD had a 1st birthday party and that was it. Last year we took her to MVMCP. This year my dad is coming over. I'll have a cake and likely send DS out to recruit some of the neighbor kids to come eat it.

I agree!! This is all a little over the top, isn't it? Last year, we had just moved here and DD hadn't started school yet, so she really didn't have any friends to invite. We decided to go to DisneyWorld for the weekend, and frankly it was better than any party she could have had...probably cheaper too!

 

[RadioNate]

I agree!! This is all a little over the top, isn't it? Last year, we had just moved here and DD hadn't started school yet, so she really didn't have any friends to invite. We decided to go to DisneyWorld for the weekend, and frankly it was better than any party she could have had...probably cheaper too!

If we still lived in FL we'd be doing WDW for DD's birthday in Dec. I have till May to figure out DS's but now that we don't live near WDW I'm not sure what I'll do but the parent party drama exhausted me years ago!

 

[D&DDisney]

I just want to know when it became the norm for parents to STAY at a child's party??? I always thought the host/hostess should have enough adults there to chaparone the party and not expect the parents to stay. Why would I want to hang around at a kiddie party any way? If I didn't think the party was a safe situation, then I would't let my child go, but I wouldn't stay.

 

[luvmy3]

I never said I "can't be bothered with supervising the kids"...my only concern is the safety of the kids, and there is no way I feel like I can supervise that many kids in a pool type setting. It's as simple as that. So maybe the answer is to make it a situation where I do - maybe restrict it to 5 or 6 friends and make everyone stay together. Either way, if it's that much trouble to stay with your child (heaven forbid!) and help the host mom out by keeping an eye on your kid in the water, then maybe they are looking for someone to entertain and watch their kid.

Sorry, your posts come across that way, especially when you make comments like the second part I bolded.

I can understand wanting all the kids to be safe, however if you as the hostess aren't willing to make your own arrangements to do that, then you shouldn't have a birthday party where water safety is a concern

 

[Magpie]

I just want to know when it became the norm for parents to STAY at a child's party??? I always thought the host/hostess should have enough adults there to chaparone the party and not expect the parents to stay. Why would I want to hang around at a kiddie party any way? If I didn't think the party was a safe situation, then I would't let my child go, but I wouldn't stay.

I don't think it is the norm for parents to stay, for most school-age non-waterpark parties. In fact, in many cases it would be rather awkward if the parents did stay.

Actually, I did once host a party at a theatre. I paid for my daughter and her friends, who were about 7. My husband and I filled the two "adult" spots and there was a "party host" provided by the theatre (a teenager). MOST parents just dropped their kids off and left. One parent however hung around and said that she'd really like to see the movie, too. I told her she was welcome to join the party and then I nicely directed her to the ticket booth, where she could buy movie admission for herself.

The invite said "Sally", not "Sally and mom".

 

[hambirg]

Well, I haven't read all the posts, so forgive me if this has already been brought up. I would simply put on the invitation, "Families of the invited guest are more than welcome to spend the day with us." Then I would list the admission price for adults and children. I would plan on having enough friends there to supervise the invited guests and I would provide enough food and drinks for everyone. I just wouldn't pay the extra admissions. . .and yes I would expect that some people are just going to drop their kid off.

My nephew had a pool party like this (big municipal pool with waterpark features). They rented a party room and there was a minimum number of guests you had to pay for. BUT. . .they ended up paying quite a bit extra for siblings that tagged along. We had enough supervisor's though. . .family and friends to watch all the kids. .some parents stayed and some didn't. It was really that added expense of the tag-a-longs that was the issue. It more than doubled the price of the party.

 

[RadioNate]

I don't think it is the norm for parents to stay, for most school-age non-waterpark parties. In fact, in many cases it would be rather awkward if the parents did stay.

Actually, I did once host a party at a theatre. I paid for my daughter and her friends, who were about 7. My husband and I filled the two "adult" spots and there was a "party host" provided by the theatre (a teenager). MOST parents just dropped their kids off and left. One parent however hung around and said that she'd really like to see the movie, too. I told her she was welcome to join the party and then I nicely directed her to the ticket booth, where she could buy movie admission for herself.

The invite said "Sally", not "Sally and mom".

Maybe not in Canada but I did the whole birthday party thing in Texas and Florida and up until about 2nd grade it is 100% absolutely the norm for parents to stay especially if the party is at a location rather than at the child's house.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Maybe not in Canada but I did the whole birthday party thing in Texas and Florida and up until about 2nd grade it is 100% absolutely the norm for parents to stay especially if the party is at a location rather than at the child's house.

Wasn't the norm in Michigan or New Hampshire and even in Indiana only half the parents of 3 year olds stayed.
DSiL says it is not the norm in Colorado either
(at least not in our circles and areas of those states).

 

[kacaju]

Maybe not in Canada but I did the whole birthday party thing in Texas and Florida and up until about 2nd grade it is 100% absolutely the norm for parents to stay especially if the party is at a location rather than at the child's house.

Here in NJ once my kids reached Kindergarten I stopped staying at the parties.
I have 3 kids who are now 17,14 and 10

 

[surfgirl]

OP here...

So if they want to sit in the cabana and eat, fine with me as long as they know where their kid is.

This is where I see the fault in your logic. You repeatedly state that you want an adult to SUPERVISE their own child. However, you are also "fine" if they sit in the cabana and eat. Those two actions are mutually exclusive unless the cabana has full view of the entire waterpark.

As many have posted, drownings (which I think is your fear?) occur extremely quickly. The parent may "know" that their child is {waves hands} over there. However, unless they can "see" them, the parent's attendance is meaningless since they are sitting in the cabana.

I would avoid the whole parent thing and hire high schoolers to supervise. You won't consider that ?

---------------
Babysitting at parties: I don't expect my kids to be "babysat". However, I don't expect at age 6, that I need to stay either (although I do most of the time). A children's birthday party is exactly that ... if you want to "show off" your new waterpark, why don't you invite 4 or 5 families which avoids the entire problem.

 

[tlbwriter]

I can understand wanting all the kids to be safe, however if you as the hostess aren't willing to make your own arrangements to do that, then you shouldn't have a birthday party where water safety is a concern

Maybe this varies by location. I've been to several pool parties for 10-and-under and most of the parents stay. It never would occur to me that this is an odd request. It's a birthday party, not a jury summons - if you don't like the conditions, just politely decline.

 

[kirstenb1]

Maybe not in Canada but I did the whole birthday party thing in Texas and Florida and up until about 2nd grade it is 100% absolutely the norm for parents to stay especially if the party is at a location rather than at the child's house.

When our older dd was that age, I definitely planned extra food/bev, assuming some parents would want to stay. I agree that by 2nd grade, no one stayed, unless it was a good friend.

 

[HLAuburn]

This is where I see the fault in your logic. You repeatedly state that you want an adult to SUPERVISE their own child. However, you are also "fine" if they sit in the cabana and eat. Those two actions are mutually exclusive unless the cabana has full view of the entire waterpark.

"Appropriate supervision" is in the eye of the beholder! Every parent's idea of keeping up with their kid is different, but I think I said I want each of the kids to be accounted for by an adult, that's all. If they feel comfortable sitting in the cabana and the kid checks in, that's fine by me, and if they want to go in the pool with them, that's fine, too.

Like I said before, I'm really "over" all this and I've pretty much decided what we are going to have to do if we decide to do the waterpark. I guess if I offend people or turn people off from coming to the party, then oh well. My biggest priority would be the safety of the kids and secondly that my daughter has a nice birthday, so I guess I'll have to do what I think would make those things happen.

 

[Help Please!]

HLAuburn,

Good for you! Some of these Disers can get a bit crazy! I understand where you're coming from, and I'm sure when the time comes you will make sure that the invitations are clear for the families. Good luck with whatever your daughter decides to do!

 

[surfgirl]

"Appropriate supervision" is in the eye of the beholder! Every parent's idea of keeping up with their kid is different, but I think I said I want each of the kids to be accounted for by an adult, that's all. If they feel comfortable sitting in the cabana and the kid checks in, that's fine by me, and if they want to go in the pool with them, that's fine, too.

Like I said before, I'm really "over" all this and I've pretty much decided what we are going to have to do if we decide to do the waterpark. I guess if I offend people or turn people off from coming to the party, then oh well. My biggest priority would be the safety of the kids and secondly that my daughter has a nice birthday, so I guess I'll have to do what I think would make those things happen.

1) appropriate supervision is not in the eye of the beholder in a water park situation. Does the lifeguard sit in the office ? Parents sitting in the cabana is an extremely false sense of security.

2) I'm sorry you are "over" this. You asked for advice (see topic title) and have received exactly that. You don't always get advice you like, but when you ask, you get it. While it got a little OT, I think everyone has been respectful. If no one had responded, you'd be crying, "Why isn't anyone responding to my thread ?"

3) If your biggest priority is safety of the kids, you wouldn't be encouraging parents to stand in the cabana.

good luck. have a rockin' party. What is wrong with my suggestion of hiring some teen age girls to walk around and keep on eye on the birthday kids ?

Some of these Disers can get a bit crazy!

I'm curious, why would you say this ?

Because she asked for advice (see thread title) and we gave it ? Was anyone disrespectful or calling names ?

 

[DisneyMomx7]

How is it crazy to say you can't have your cake and eat it too?

Point - either insist that the parent stay with the child and let the siblings come too (should a parent have to pay a babysitter in order to have their child attend a birthday party?) or no siblings rule (which is fine) but hire extra lifeguards or teenagers to watch the kids.