Birthday: how to avoid sibling jealousy?

[lilvictorians]

We're considering visiting the park the last week of August and celebrating our son's 10th birthday. We're worried about jealousy from his 7-yr old sister with all the attention.

1) What has been your experience with this?
2) Is it a problem, or do the cast member try to give the sibling some special attention too?

We're also considering taking this trip in mid-June, but are worried about massive crowds.

Any advice and sharing of your own experiences, would be appreciated.

 

[PigletGurl]

I have no advice for the sibling part, but for the crowds, there arent any massive crowds in mid june, They are totally manageable. I usually go in mid June!

 

[mystic_path]

Well I think the best way that you can work around this is involve your daughter as much as possible. Sure it might be her brothers birthday, but while in the park you can always get your daughter a birthday pin too, to show that she is along celebrating her brothers birthday. You can also do things like if you buy him a birthday treat such as an ice cream cone, then get her one too so she doesnt feel left out. For the birthday you can always take your kids to a character meal such as Goofy's Kitchen. The characters there are great and I find they take quite a bit of time with the kids while taking pictures and things. You can get individual pictures of the kids with characters or doing different things around the park so they are both highly involved doing something fun. As long as your daughter is happily entertained I am sure she will be alright.


As for mid June crowds... It wont be PEAK PEAK summer season, but I wont lie it will be busy. Just make full use of your fast passes and take your time. You will be just fine. Look into Ride Max if you want to take full advantage of all the rides you can in one day.

 

[Krissy Marissy]

I agree, just try to keep her involved. Maybe explain that today is brother's birthday so he picks but tomorrow you get to pick what we ride? Mystic has some good tips!

 

[DizNee Luver]

The happy birthday button gets quite a bit of attention, where the other buttons not as much so. They do have a large selection of buttons available that your daughter could wear: first visit (if it is), I'm celebrating, etc.

We celebrated our son's 8th bday & the 3 yr old wore the I'm celebrating....our son was wished a happy birthday a ton & honestly, the 3 yr old didn't seem to mind it. We did a character meal & he got a special dessert & song & he shared the dessert with her...so again....not a huge issue. We did buy the "goodie bags" when we got to the restaurant & they put it on our table before we were seated....we got one for each of them & she was thrilled to be getting a present!! The goodie bags are available at most of the sit-down restaurants and are $4.99 & $9.99 each.....so just a suggestion.

We also made sure our daughter had a gift or 2 to open (find an excuse to be celebrating....good report card, growing 2", etc....make something up) & that way when your son is opening presents she doesn't feel totally left out.

Anyways, that's what we do when at DL or at home to keep the jealousy down.
Hope that helps!!!

 

[pixiewings71]

Well, we avoid it by making sure they both get a trip to DL for their bdays. Seriously, this year everyone in our families will be in DL on our bdays, all 4 of us. BUT we are close to drive down. If that's not possible just get his sister a celebration button or maybe pick a day on the trip to celebrate her bday. Give her a gift card to spend on herself, take them both to the Pat E Cake party and have them both wear their bday buttons. I'm sure there are many ways to ensure she's not jealous. Maybe (depending on when her bday is) upgrade your hoppers to APs and bring her back for her bday next year.

 

[Disney Dreams]

When your son gets his Happy Birthday button, ask for an "I'm Celebrating" button. While you could get one for everyone in the family, if you JUST get one for your daughter, that will make her feel special as well. Also, CMs will ask her, "What are you celebrating?" throughout the day as they see her button. Then she can be part of her brother's big day and not just "along for the ride" (so to speak hehe)

- Dreams

 

[DizMe]

Well....I'll be a little harsh here and say that's life. It's his birthday. He's going to get more attention. She'll have plenty of fun, get her share of attention too, but it's his birthday, not hers. Kids shouldn't always get equal everything on a given day as long it balances out overall.

 

[JadeDarkstar]

get her a bday button they will both get birthday wishs an feel special buy one the goody bags for each of them.
they might both get cupcakes. (with the birthday buttons)
the charcter meal or patte cake party is a good idea. they would have fun both of them

 

[fairycat]

If you are going to be in the parks for more then one day why not have DS wear his birthday pin on his birthday and do all the fun things that come with it being his birthday, and then the next day celebrate your DD's "Un-Birthday". She could wear her own birthday pin that you can jazz up as an "Un-Birthday" Pin or leave it as a birthday pin and let her pick the rides and do some of the things her brother got to.

I would do a little extra for your DS since it is his real birthday, and he only gets one a year, but your DD does get a future Birthday. But you can still make it fun for both of them.

I would make sure if you do an "Unbirthday" you take your DD to say "Hello" to Alice and the Mad Hatter and let them know its her "Unbirthday"!! You can do that while you play musical chairs

 

[FourM's]

We were at DL for DDs 10th bday in January, we have had problems with jealousy on bdays before so we allowed her sister to have a special day during our trip where she got to choose where we ate for the day and what rides to go on. Seemed to work well, they each had a day to look forward to and got to boss Mom and Dad around all day

 

[DisneySuiteFreak]

Well....I'll be a little harsh here and say that's life. It's his birthday. He's going to get more attention. She'll have plenty of fun, get her share of attention too, but it's his birthday, not hers. Kids shouldn't always get equal everything on a given day as long it balances out overall.

Ditto. Does that mean we're mean moms? Unfortunately life isn't always fair and even. Eventually over time it all balances out...usually.

 

[Desert Dwellers]

I agree with DizMe and DisneySuiteFreak. Each kid gets a birthday where they get to shine. If you give the non-birthday kid gifts and treats, it just dilutes the specialness of the birthday kid's day. Those are life lessons - wait your turn, learn to be happy for others, etc. I always tell my kids their ledger books will be balanced at the end.

Plus, she's at Disneyland. I assume she gets to go on rides, see shows, meet characters and eat treats. She's going to have fun!

 

[Stacerita]

Well....I'll be a little harsh here and say that's life. It's his birthday. He's going to get more attention. She'll have plenty of fun, get her share of attention too, but it's his birthday, not hers. Kids shouldn't always get equal everything on a given day as long it balances out overall.

Ditto. Does that mean we're mean moms? Unfortunately life isn't always fair and even. Eventually over time it all balances out...usually.

I agree with DizMe and DisneySuiteFreak. Each kid gets a birthday where they get to shine. If you give the non-birthday kid gifts and treats, it just dilutes the specialness of the birthday kid's day. Those are life lessons - wait your turn, learn to be happy for others, etc. I always tell my kids their ledger books will be balanced at the end.

Plus, she's at Disneyland. I assume she gets to go on rides, see shows, meet characters and eat treats. She's going to have fun!

 

[Mugglemama]

I agree with DizMe and DisneySuiteFreak. Each kid gets a birthday where they get to shine. If you give the non-birthday kid gifts and treats, it just dilutes the specialness of the birthday kid's day. Those are life lessons - wait your turn, learn to be happy for others, etc. I always tell my kids their ledger books will be balanced at the end.

Plus, she's at Disneyland. I assume she gets to go on rides, see shows, meet characters and eat treats. She's going to have fun!

I agree with this sentiment completely!

To the OP...my MIL is raising her daughter's 2 little girls. When they were younger, she used to have this mindset that neither one of them could DARE feel the slightest bit on the backburner about ANYTHING. She wouldn't make them share anything..instead, she bought 2 of everything. At birthdays, both got presents. At one point, at my own daughter's 2nd birthday, she ACTUALLY had the NERVE to tell my husband to RE-LIGHT the candles on my daughter's birthday cake, so that my niece could blow them out!!! he didn't do it of course (lol, i'm sure the look i gave him assured him he'd be a dead man if he did!), but you know, it took those girls a LONG time to learn that they couldn't be the center of the universe every second of their lives. It drove everyone around them nuts, and it made people not like those little girls (because of course they grew to believe it was OWED to them to be the most special little things on earth every second of their lives, and as a result they became very pushy, very obnoxious little people). Thankfully, much has changed since then in the way my MIL handles them.

But sheesh....isn't the fact that she's going to be AT DISNEYLAND, enough?? Some kids NEVER get to go to places like that in their entire childhoods, it's a HUGE treat. We've gone to DLR several times on our kids' birthdays (because we had AP's for a couple of years and lived close enough to the parks to go on b-days), and the siblings who weren't celebrating b-days couldn't have cared LESS that the birthday kid was getting a special song or cupcake or something. Heck, even though they'd been to DLR dozens of times, they were just happy to be there again.

I mean, to each his own, and I'm sure you're children are wonderful, precious little people. But mom to mom, it would seem like you'd really be setting yourself up for years of craziness if you're always trying to make sure everybody always feels "just as special" as everybody else every second of every day. Birthdays lose their luster if it's more of a "family birthday" rather than a celebration for the kid who's big day it actually is, IMHO.

Best of luck!

 

[roxydotty]

I agree with the others who say to let each kid have their special day on their birthday. It's your son's birthday, let him celebrate! When it's your daughter's birthday, let her celebrate in her way. Maybe at Disneyland, maybe somewhere else. I think kids need to learn to celebrate for their sibling or friends on their birthday. Help your daughter get excited about celebrating brother's birthday and going to Disneyland. It's his turn to be recognized and congratulated! She will have her turn.

Also, don't make this trip all about him. Instead remind them it's a family trip and it just happens to be brother's birthday. Unless you plan on making the same trip for your daughter on her birthday.

We went to WDW and it happened to be our youngest son's bday. We let him choose the restaurant that day. We let our other two kids choose restaurants on two other days. It was a trip for the whole family. He just had his special day, but the whole trip wasn't all about him.