Being the trip planner for a group of family members - help!

[ilovetotravel1977]

Those who are the planners in your family (i.e., me) know how hard it is book a small WDW vacation, let alone a trip for lots of people!

Going to WDW/US in January 2018 is my family (me, DH, DD8), my sister's family (with 3 kids, 17, 15, 8) and my folks (mid-late 60s). My DH goes and asks his brother's family (with 2 kids, 14, 4) if they want to come too, then he also suggests asking HIS mother! Ugh! DH brother's family has been to WDW 4-5 times so they know the drill, but do they know the drill I will be putting them through? LOL

How on earth do you communicate to the latter invitees that this trip will be very detailed and structured in terms of seeing everything we can, and if they can't keep up (or don't want to), then they are on their own? How do you keep everyone together in terms of fastpasses? What if you can't get enough passes for all the same ride time? Ugh. My brain hurts just trying to figure that whole scenario out.

So I guess I am looking for advice from folks who have had to be the planner for a large group of people. What would you do differently if faced with such a large task again based on past experiences?

Thanks!

 

[minnie mum]

BTDT. Never again. My suggestion. Don't even think about spending all your time together. You can thank me later.

One way would be to hand it off to someone else. Get a TA who will make all your reservations, ADRs and FPs for you. Keep the room reservations separate for each family, on their own accounts, but link them and request that they be close together at the resort.

Maybe just plan one meal per day together as a group.

Provide everyone with a general plan. Which park each day. ADRs that you have made for the group. Suggestions for CS meals. Provide a suggested park touring plan for each day. But I would let each family make their own FPs. Getting a consensus on which 3 rides the whole group wants to FP will be next to impossible. Encourage everyone to tour at their own pace, perhaps starting out together, then meeting up again later.

Best of luck. At least you've got lots of time for planning.

 

[ilovetotravel1977]

Thanks for your suggestions.

I was ok with being one of two organizers (my BIL is a planner too) for our initial group of 10. The fam knows I am a sleuth for deals and super organized. They are willing to let me take the reigns and run with it. Not so sure DH's family would feel the same way. It's a lot of money to not have your vacation tailored to your wants/needs...I think that would be something I would get them to strongly consider before them saying to me "Just book us to do what you guys are doing".

 

[ilovetotravel1977]

BTDT. Never again. My suggestion. Don't even think about spending all your time together. You can thank me later.

DH, MIL and DD8 and I just went on a cruise this past April...and we all stayed in a balcony cabin together. Not doing that again! While MIL is great and loves to stay up late and do stuff, when they say you learn a lot about someone when traveling with them is so true.

We spent every waking/sleeping minute together. BTDT. Never again.

 

[SaraMc]

Does everyone have Facebook messenger ? You can set up a chat and talk about things so they all can be a part of it. Or use Google Doc's to share together? That might help with the planning. As for each day, maybe pick 1 fast pass together , or a meal. You all can't do everything together. You all will have a horrible time. We often travel with extended family and this works for us. Also when we meet back up for the day we have lots to talk about about the things we did when we were apart.

 

[lisaviolet]

I have done a huge family trip, two sides, to WDW and had an absolutely wonderful time. And some beautiful smaller ones. That doesn't mean no one irritated each other, but in general is was beyond a lovely memory. And despite what I have listed below, we were together for most of the vacation - remember that as you're reading and planning yours. Honestly, sounding a tad pompous, I really made great choices the first time out. I was very lucky.

Suggestions -

*Book a few days for your own immediate family at the end of the vacation - it really helps - it's nice to unwind
*I would not make plans for everyone every single day - some people will not want to run around and they shouldn't have to as it is their vacation as well (as you said). And are some first timers? Don't run them ragged. Insert smile.
*Do not book every meal together, I would do maximum of once a day unless they are all on board for a specific meal - save time for different schedules and options of being spontaneous - ordering in etc.
*my groups just happened to arrive and leave at different times - just days apart, due to work/school. It ended up to be wonderful as we were all excited to greet groups and gave some time for smaller groups.
*don't forget one group might love being on their own at times - your biggest fear might be beautiful for some - insert wink
*also be firm about airfare - that it can change in minutes, the pricing so don't drive yourself bonkers. Let them book on their own or if you want to do it be firm that you can't give a quote and expect it to still be there.
*don't underestimate pool time or whoever wants to go to a water park - if January is unseasonably warm when you go - it often is a great memory. Simple things.



Fortunately when we went you could be more spontaneous with your plans at WDW, I hear you on some of the new changes making it harder to manage.

And I have DVC, which makes relaxing with family so much easier. Do you own? Or would you consider renting? Even then I gave everyone their own room/suite. And even in a studio I did not put four people in it, just two - not kids and adults - I mean I didn't have my sister and niece stay with my parents, just because I could. It was really important that everyone felt like they had their own space to unwind. And one suite was huge, so we could all be together when we wanted to - made a couple of meals in the kitchen for the entire group. It was nice to relax with family.

 

[lisaviolet]

Does everyone have Facebook messenger ? You can set up a chat and talk about things so they all can be a part of it. Or use Google Doc's to share together? That might help with the planning. As for each day, maybe pick 1 fast pass together , or a meal. You all can't do everything together. You all will have a horrible time. We often travel with extended family and this works for us. Also when we meet back up for the day we have lots to talk about about the things we did when we were apart.

The last line was the most beautiful part of our vacation of 13 family members. Don't underestimate it OP.

 

[lisaviolet]

Does everyone have Facebook messenger ? You can set up a chat and talk about things so they all can be a part of it. Or use Google Doc's to share together?

Or WhatsApp. Add a group there. Just mute the notifications so you don't go crazy! Laughing.

 

[allybabba98]

I have only travelled with m own family plus MIL once but the recurring theme I read in posts like this seems to be trying to stay all together is just to much. Would it be awful to just make a lunch and/or dinner reservation for everyone but then everyone plans their own time at the park?
Or, they book themselves but you link your tickets so that when you make your FP selections you can try and get theirs as well?
Good luck.

 

[starvenger]

I actually do annual family trips with my parents, my brother and his family (2 girls) and sometimes my other brother (no kids, but one on the way in a couple of months). With my 2 kids, that's 10-12 (soon 13). We usually do a cruise or resort (in fact going to Beaches Ocho Rios on Saturday) and leave the details to a TA. The takeaway I have from that is to let everyone do what they want but plan to have one meal together. Trying to do Every. Single. Thing. together will cause more friction than friendship.

As for planning, we are also doing a trip with my MIL and SIL (2 girls) in Barcelona later this summer. Rented an apartment and, for the most part, going to wing it. I'll try to let everyone know how it goes.

***
For you, with 11 people you may want to consider staying offsite, getting a house from Airbnb or vrbo. This might allow you to spend a couple of days just relaxing outside of the parks. Maybe shopping, maybe playing mini golf, etc. If there's a bbq, maybe have an evening of of grilling if it's not too cold.

As others have suggested, plan the ADRs and maybe the fastpasses as meet ups during the day, but otherwise let everyone do what suits them. If you have a battle plan, let them know and they can go with it or go their own way.

 

[rascooby]

We did a big family trip several years ago. It was before the new Fastpass system, so it was a little less complicated. I made hotel reservations for my family only. My parents stayed at the same resort we did, but my sister's family stayed at a value resort. I was glad we weren't with them 24/7. I made a detailed plan for every day. I made lanyards with the agenda for everyone to wear around their neck. I didn't want everyone constantly asking what we were doing next, so I hoped that would make them annoy me less (it kind of worked, lol). It was detailed as far as this ride first, this ride next, lunch here, etc, etc. I think I did make meal reservations for everyone when we had table service, after telling them that my family wanted to eat at this or that place and if they wanted to join us, I'd get the reservations.

Anyway, besides the sit down meals, I let them know that our family was following my plan, but they were welcome to do whatever they wanted. If they wanted to go with us, and they were ready when it was time, they could come with us, but we weren't waiting. There were times when we ordered and ate our food before they even ordered, so in those cases, we were off to the next thing and they could catch up or do whatever. Disney is expensive and we didn't want to feel like we were wasting time waiting around for them to get it together. We just warned them several times that we are very organized at Disney and we were fine with whatever they did, but we were sticking to our plan. I think everyone had a good time. I know we did.

P.S. Our next Disney trip, we didn't invite any of them, lol.

 

[darwinsrule]

As pp said, never again. You aren't keeping everyone together, and if you try to it is just going to lead to frustration and anger. Lots and lots of anger. We did a Disney cruise after 5 nights at the park and was trying to figure out how to toss my SIL overboard with a set of cement Mickey Ears strapped to head.

With the introduction of WIFI through the it is a lot easier to split up and keep in touch (DW and I do it now given the age difference in our girls). Set all the contacts up before hand. Set up a group bfast or dinner, that will keep the grandparents happy.

 

[tricia]

I've done a couple big family trips years ago and am planning another for about 16 people in April of 2017. I know we can't spend every day all together so I have done the following. It is a trip for my parents 50th wedding anniversary and they have 4 grown children with families of their own. I have planned 3 meals over the course of an 8 night stay for ALL of us to attend. Then I will book mom and dad meals with each of the 4 smaller family groups for some better 1 on 1 type time.

I will make up an itinerary of what I plan to do everyday and will include the hours for each park and their crowd rating, also what parades and fireworks are going on each day. I post this at the beginning of the booklet that I give to everyone:




Red highlights are what I will be doing that day.


Everyone is welcome to follow me. I will be trying to get to the park as close to opening as possible so that we can get a few of the big rides in with little or no wait time. This means I will be at the park by 9:00 or 9:30am every morning. Getting moving this early allows us to get a bunch of the big rides done before the terrible crowds and also the intense heat of the afternoon. If we get a lot accomplished this early we can maybe even head over to the hotel for a swim at the hot point in the afternoon some days.




If you cannot get up this early you can meet me later too, I will have my cell phone on all the time you can text me at 99999999.




If you want to do something else during the day that is fine too. BUT, if I made a dinner booking for you attendance in MANDATORY or my credit card will be charged. The bookings are made, and as long as everyone is there 10 minutes before the reservation time it should not take long to get a table.




Your dining plan gives you 1 table service (meals that have been booked), 1 counter service (lunch), and one snack per night.




MK – Magic Kingdom


AK – Animal Kingdom


EP - Epcot


DS - Disney Studios


Notes:




We cannot do everything on this trip. I did not get the water parks pass.




Meal plan: There will be plenty to eat for everybody for all of the lunches and dinners. Breakfast is not included, but I sometimes use my snack credit for the day to get a Danish or a muffin for my breakfast. Also, I pack granola bars and nutrigrain bars and other snacks in my suitcase to help out with breakfast and quick, cheap snacks. I also bring Mio or something and a couple of water bottles. Keeps us from having to buy beverages all day.




I would bring bathing suits everyday for Callum and Logan as there are small water jet/splash pad areas in the parks and if it is getting too warm let them change and cool off for a bit. Also, in the afternoon, or the middle or end of the day if we want to head over to either our resort, or yours to go for a swim we will be prepared.




When we first get into the park we will be rushing around getting all the big rides done. We will be able to just wander and hit the stores etc. in the afternoon.





I am still not sure how I will be handling FP+. Going to work that out eventually I'm sure.

 

[MarBee]

I just planned for a group of 4 families with 11 people. I booked everything and said "here is what my family and I will be doing. You are set up to do all of these things, too, but please do not feel like you have to because you don't have to do any of it. It's your vacation too. I like to jam pack things into the itinerary and go from open till close. You don't have to at all."
Some days people joined us for all things, some days just a few things, and sometimes none at all.
I was really nervous about it, but it actually worked out really nicely. Good luck!

 

[I Run Long]

I did this for our last trip. I was sooooo optimistic and didn't really take people's advice on the DIS. Wish I had. I booked all the FP+ (never again) - I did ask the other group (we were 8 in total so not a terribly large number) and they said, "oh no, just go ahead and book them and we'll do what you all want to do". Yeah right. I booked our ADRs (evenings only). Big mistake too. Sometimes they were on time for the ADR - other times they would show up anywhere from 20 to 30 minutes late. Then we would miss our ADR and have to wait until they could the restaurant could fit us in. Sheesh! Sometimes they would message me and say, "yeah we decided to hit the pool and we'll be there in half an hour". We had already been waiting for them! It isn't as though they didn't know when or where our ADRs were. I printed them a calendar listing them all including confirmation numbers at the start of our vacation. All of this lead to some hurt feelings and my decision to never plan a vacation with anyone, ever again. It's like herding cats. When we go again and anyone wants to come with us, they can plan every aspect of their trip. If they want to join us for dinner, fine, but if they're late we're not waiting. It was probably the most stressful vacation I've ever had. The other party had a commando touring plan. Up early, rope drop, in the parks all day and all night. We, on the other hand, get up whenever, go into the parks whenever and stay in the park usually until around 2:00pm and head back for a swim. The only thing we really plan and keep fixed times for are our ADRs. Like I said, never again. Good luck to those who undertake it!

 

[ilovetotravel1977]

I think I am going to do what some of you have suggested.

I'm going to let my BIL/MIL know what we are planning on doing, and suggest for them to do a link of their own plans on the MDE site (I don't think they do this). A lot of time, they stay offsite as well, so they are limited to FP+ 30 days out. I don't even know if they do the whole book-in-advance thing!

Then once our itinerary is complete, give them a copy so they know what to try and book to be with us (if they even like anything we are planning on doing!)

 

[hardis5]

I've done prior and as soon as you move beyond two distinct families (and you have 3 plus parents) I think you are asking for failure. As PP's have said, plan for a few common get togethers around a later day meal and all families should share plans (and if you are a card carrying member of PA - planners anonymous - share yours early).

Myself (part of my always be prepared up-bringing) I always contingency plan - and contingency plan the contingency plan - (weather can throw park plans for a loop) and go with the flow when there as plans can and do change. The weather, health or stamina of the others (especially kids or the elderly), attraction closures, promotions, etc, cannot always be planned or anticipated 11 months out (as DVC) or 18 months out as your are planning for on a day-by-day basis. Our plans often do change to allow us to enjoy as much as possible our stay (no fun doing the parks in the rain or the middle of the day in a hotter than normal stretch) but for some, a change in a planned day cannot be fathomed or be reasonable regardless of reason.

IMHO at all cost avoid trying to jointly plan too many large or everyone activities outside of meals, for frustration most often will happen. The magic happens when common plans come together for activity all have a strong interest in (be it a specific park, ride, attraction, location or meal) and all make it happen jointly for that memorable (in a positive way) portion of the holiday.

 

[Muskrat191]

We travelled with my parents, my in-laws and my BIL and SIL. I was the planner. I basically planned a vacation for my immediate family, sent the details to everyone and asked what parts they would like me to book for them. Everyone understood that I was happy for them to participate in as much or as little as they wanted, but if they committed, then they had to show up (on time!). It worked well. I also offered to book/investigate options for other things they may want to do separate from my immediate family, and ended up booking a few ADRs for them. I assume those went fine since I didn't get any no-show charges on my credit card