BBQ , Bdays and Graduations $$$$

[dreamin_disney]

I've been working hard to pay down bills. May/june is going to be expensive months.
invited to
-2 birthday parties (May)
-2 graduation parties (may)
-1 babyshower (may
-2 mother's day gifts plus chipped in for food
-dd end of the year semi formal dance, $ for ticket, shoes and dress

June
-4 bday parties
-Dh bday bbq party decided to have one .In many years this will be 2nd party for him
-fathers day
- plus dd has end of the year fieldtrips we have to pay for

Dh never wants a party but this year decided to go for it. Trying to keep it simple with bbq hamburgers, hot dogs, links, nachos, fruit, dips , chips and salads. Right now the count of invites is 30 people but it might go up to 58 if he invites the entire family.

I might pick and choose which parties to go to and try and keep on track on paying off my debt by the end of june.


ok anyone else dealing with a lot of bday and graduation invites???

 

[allison443]

I've been working hard to pay down bills. May/june is going to be expensive months.
invited to
-2 birthday parties (May)
-2 graduation parties (may)
-1 babyshower (may
-2 mother's day gifts plus chipped in for food
-dd end of the year semi formal dance, $ for ticket, shoes and dress

June
-4 bday parties
-Dh bday bbq party decided to have one .In many years this will be 2nd party for him
-fathers day
- plus dd has end of the year fieldtrips we have to pay for

Dh never wants a party but this year decided to go for it. Trying to keep it simple with bbq hamburgers, hot dogs, links, nachos, fruit, dips , chips and salads. Right now the count of invites is 30 people but it might go up to 58 if he invites the entire family.

I might pick and choose which parties to go to and try and keep on track on paying off my debt by the end of june.


ok anyone else dealing with a lot of bday and graduation invites???

Sounds like you have a busy couple of months! All happy occasions though!

Why did your dh decide to have a birthday party (inviting 58 people) this year if you are trying to pay off debt? That's the thing that will cost you the most not buying your dd shoes for her dance or buying a mother's day gift.

Anyway hope you enjoy all the festivities!

 

[dreamin_disney]

Sounds like you have a busy couple of months! All happy occasions though!

Why did your dh decide to have a birthday party (inviting 58 people) this year if you are trying to pay off debt? That's the thing that will cost you the most not buying your dd shoes for her dance or buying a mother's day gift.

Anyway hope you enjoy all the festivities!

Right now its about 30 people. His parent are divorced so the 30 inculdes sibling from his moms side and gma and his dad and step sibling from his dads side and nieces and nephews. The other 28 would be my siblings which are his sistner n laws and his aunts and a few cousins. He's willing to do just the 30 but feels gulity leaving the rest out since everyone we see throughout the year and at the holidays, bdays. I've been with him for 15 years and this will be the 2nd party I've had for him . We were going to celebrate his 40th last year but he lost a loved one a week before party so he cancled it. I dont mind having him a party it will be budget as possible. I just have extra event that I need to spend $$ like shower and 2 graduations and dd's end of the year stuff. The Bday parties I knew I'd have to buy gifts 2 of them expect cash only.

Dh deserve the party . I was just posting to see how many others are also having more events $$. I also got a fb request for donating money to my nieces cousin to help send her to study abroad- i ignored that one since I dont even know the girl-lol!

My goal was to pay off my debt at the end of this month but it will just roll over to next month

 

[momof2gr8kids]

June is a crazy month for us too with invites. Luckily dh works lots of weekends, so we can say no to some stuff!

SD is graduating from college. Not sure what we are doing for that yet. No family in town, so may postpone a celebration until they come to visit.

In regards to your dh's bday celebration, I found that doing something like pulled pork is easier and cheaper than hamburgers/hot dogs for a large crowd. Once you add the tomatoes, cheese, pickles, onions, etc. for the burgers (and cut everything up!), it's not cheaper. For fruit, just cut up a few watermelon. That's always a crowd pleaser, and cheaper (and less work) than washing and cutting strawberries, pineapples, etc.

 

[JessM]

It sounds like a busy but fun couple of months! I've been trying to pay off a card as well but it's going to be put on hold while I celebrate all of the accomplishments of the people in my life. Graduations, Birthdays and Baby Showers are once in a lifetime, enjoy them even if it means putting debt off a bit. Just don't add to it

For your DHs birthday I'd ask people to bring drinks and sides to share. Most ladies I know are dying to try out some pinterest recipe anyways It would cut down on costs if you only had to supply meat and buns.

 

[LJSquishy]

Our entire year seems to look just like that now. It is always someone's birthday or another family get together where we have to bring items.

We finally decided to just stick to our budget and buy $10 gifts for the kids, nothing for adults, and turn down some of the get togethers. We're tired of not having a single weekend to ourselves. We don't celebrate our own birthdays by getting the family together and having a party (because we don't want to spend the money) but the other adults on my husband's side of the family do...and it gets expensive, even when we just bring a dish to share. Everyone has kids now except for us, so instead of the old group of 6-8 we would have, it's now 12 people. We used to spend more on gifts for our nieces and nephew, but now that there are 4 of them (and counting) we stopped spending so much per kid and just do $10 gifts.

We turn down a lot of get togethers now, though. We need and deserve our own time together without extended family. We almost always turn down events where they want to go to a restaurant, because that eats up our budget since we rarely go out to eat as it is. They think we're rude sometimes for declining invites, but we need to be in charge of our budget, not them.

 

[scrapquitler]

Our entire year seems to look just like that now. It is always someone's birthday or another family get together where we have to bring items.

We finally decided to just stick to our budget and buy $10 gifts for the kids, nothing for adults, and turn down some of the get togethers. We're tired of not having a single weekend to ourselves. We don't celebrate our own birthdays by getting the family together and having a party (because we don't want to spend the money) but the other adults on my husband's side of the family do...and it gets expensive, even when we just bring a dish to share. Everyone has kids now except for us, so instead of the old group of 6-8 we would have, it's now 12 people. We used to spend more on gifts for our nieces and nephew, but now that there are 4 of them (and counting) we stopped spending so much per kid and just do $10 gifts.

We turn down a lot of get togethers now, though. We need and deserve our own time together without extended family. We almost always turn down events where they want to go to a restaurant, because that eats up our budget since we rarely go out to eat as it is. They think we're rude sometimes for declining invites, but we need to be in charge of our budget, not them.

I agree with this. I also noticed that the OP mentioned a father's day gift for her husband, I'd suggest skipping that. We dont' do birthday presents for one another, mother's day, father's day or anniversary gifts to each other. Instead we just go and do something fun and inexpensive to celebrate.

As to your DH party, instead of doing the whole cookout, just have everyone over for cake and coffee. Bake the cake yourself, etc. You can have a lot of people over and have it be a LOT less expensive than a full blown BBQ.

 

[eeyoresmom]

Me too, and although they are happy occasions I'm starting to stress about the work for me to pull all these celebrations off (never mind the money!) DSis birthday yesterday, DN birthday Tues. DD's prom Sat, BFF daughter's wedding Sunday, DD's birthday Thurs, family reunion next Sunday, DD's grad party next Mon......into June wih the first 2 weeks of June going just like that(actually 3 weeks, I forgot about Father's Day and my other DD's birthday!

 

[dreamin_disney]

In regards to your dh's bday celebration, I found that doing something like pulled pork is easier and cheaper than hamburgers/hot dogs for a large crowd. Once you add the tomatoes, cheese, pickles, onions, etc. for the burgers (and cut everything up!), it's not cheaper. For fruit, just cut up a few watermelon. That's always a crowd pleaser, and cheaper (and less work) than washing and cutting strawberries, pineapples, etc.

We did pulled pork sandwiches for dd's bday in Dec. so we wanted something different. I have 2 weeks to looks for hotdogs and hot links. I'm buying frozen patties and buns from costco. Dh has a check he got for costco i think through his creditcard. I was thinking about a fresh fruit bowl but watermelon is the way to go.

For your DHs birthday I'd ask people to bring drinks and sides to share. Most ladies I know are dying to try out some pinterest recipe anyways It would cut down on costs if you only had to supply meat and buns.

normally I would provide everything but this year if MIL, aunts, grandma offer to bring something I will except . Actually MIL offered to bring something just letter her know what. She will probably offer chips and salsa or a salad.

Our entire year seems to look just like that now. It is always someone's birthday or another family get together where we have to bring items.

We finally decided to just stick to our budget and buy $10 gifts for the kids, nothing for adults, and turn down some of the get togethers. We're tired of not having a single weekend to ourselves. We don't celebrate our own birthdays by getting the family together and having a party (because we don't want to spend the money) but the other adults on my husband's side of the family do...and it gets expensive, even when we just bring a dish to share. Everyone has kids now except for us, so instead of the old group of 6-8 we would have, it's now 12 people. We used to spend more on gifts for our nieces and nephew, but now that there are 4 of them (and counting) we stopped spending so much per kid and just do $10 gifts.

We turn down a lot of get togethers now, though. We need and deserve our own time together without extended family. We almost always turn down events where they want to go to a restaurant, because that eats up our budget since we rarely go out to eat as it is. They think we're rude sometimes for declining invites, but we need to be in charge of our budget, not them.

Dh and I usually dont have parties for ourselves. We usually go out to lunch or dinner just the 3 of us. Every year we do have a party for dd14. Gifts between dh and I are kept simple. Mothers day meant gifts for his mom and gma and flowers for my moms grave.

I agree with this. I also noticed that the OP mentioned a father's day gift for her husband, I'd suggest skipping that. We dont' do birthday presents for one another, mother's day, father's day or anniversary gifts to each other. Instead we just go and do something fun and inexpensive to celebrate.

As to your DH party, instead of doing the whole cookout, just have everyone over for cake and coffee. Bake the cake yourself, etc. You can have a lot of people over and have it be a LOT less expensive than a full blown BBQ.

cake and coffee wont do, it will be considered as cheap. Dont flame me I only say that because 2 people on dh's side did that and many other family members made negative comments about it.



We use to host xmas eve party but stopped due to certain people family members not being able to be in the same room and it being held indoors it started to get to crowded in my house, So Now we are down to only one get together at our house which is dd's bday.

 

[brymolmom]

Sounds fun and expensive.

Keep in mind that when you are invited to parties...It is your presence there (NOT presents) that the person really wants (or if you're being invited and this isn't the case - then it doesn't matter what they think anyway). So, IMO you should keep it in perspective and attend the parties but give gifts appropriate to what you can afford. Are the bday parties family or kids friends? How about just a nice card for some of them? Maybe with a couple $1 scratch off tickets?? Maybe bake some cookies and wrap them up nice?

If it really takes 58 people to invite family...I would stick to doing a BBQ for dh's bday but instead of family invite a small handful of close friends instead. That way the aunts/cousins don't feel left out but he still can have his party.

 

[dreamin_disney]

Sounds fun and expensive.

Keep in mind that when you are invited to parties...It is your presence there (NOT presents) that the person really wants (or if you're being invited and this isn't the case - then it doesn't matter what they think anyway). So, IMO you should keep it in perspective and attend the parties but give gifts appropriate to what you can afford. Are the bday parties family or kids friends? How about just a nice card for some of them? Maybe with a couple $1 scratch off tickets?? Maybe bake some cookies and wrap them up nice?

If it really takes 58 people to invite family...I would stick to doing a BBQ for dh's bday but instead of family invite a small handful of close friends instead. That way the aunts/cousins don't feel left out but he still can have his party.

The events are for family. The parties in May are for dh's csousins kids. I think we will skip tomorrows Bday party. He's not to close to that cousin and she only shows up to her siblings events. Last year we bought her dd a bday gift and not even a Thank you. Tomorrow is the babyshower and I'm close to that family member.

The graduation party one is for my nieces so thats a "yes" and the one for Dh's cousin. Dh said we can skip that one. He's not really close to that cousin.

The two parties in June will be on dh's party day so those are cancled out for us. The mother of dh's two cousin always puts cash prefered. 4th party is for a child (family).

Dh's costco amercian express card earned him a check for $15 so we will use that. Plus .I earned $73 on my citi dividend card.

I just did my List and out of the 58 people I think 40 will show up for sure. Dh still hasnt decided if a full party or not.

 

[taymaesmom]

This past few days have been crazy for us. Dd graduated high school, so she needed a new dress for Baccalurate for Wed, she got a new dress for Graduation on Thursday plus $35 for cap and gown rental, plus pictures, dinner out. Plus I needed a new dress. Then younger dd had an awards program which she needed a dress (also worn to graduation the same day) plus she needed a dress for her 8th grade semi formal dance. Last night was older dd's graduation party spent about $500 on it and $350 on her gift. Today is my nieces b-day party so needed a gift for it. Total I think I spent $1000 just on the last few days. I know we bought alot of clothes but we are not normally dress up people so none of us had dresses, which were required for dd to wear under her cap and gown. Thankfully we got them all on sale super cheap but I had to buy 5 dresses! And on top of all of it, Wed is my last day at work for 3 months!

 

[dreamin_disney]

This past few days have been crazy for us. Dd graduated high school, so she needed a new dress for Baccalurate for Wed, she got a new dress for Graduation on Thursday plus $35 for cap and gown rental, plus pictures, dinner out. Plus I needed a new dress. Then younger dd had an awards program which she needed a dress (also worn to graduation the same day) plus she needed a dress for her 8th grade semi formal dance. Last night was older dd's graduation party spent about $500 on it and $350 on her gift. Today is my nieces b-day party so needed a gift for it. Total I think I spent $1000 just on the last few days. I know we bought alot of clothes but we are not normally dress up people so none of us had dresses, which were required for dd to wear under her cap and gown. Thankfully we got them all on sale super cheap but I had to buy 5 dresses! And on top of all of it, Wed is my last day at work for 3 months!

We got lucky on dd's dress and shoes. Her dress was only $12 (dress for less-ross) same dress at another store was $68.

There wont be any graduations until 2016 and that year there will be a total of 3 family members. Then dd will graduate the following year. Starting next year I will start putting $$ aside for her senior year stuff and graduation party. I'm just glad I paid off dd's braces in Feb and my car in March otherwise I'd bee feeling the pinch.

 

[lvillotta1]

Yes lots of things happening. Do you have an Aldi's nearby. If so you could buy everything you need there. They are 50% cheaper than any Costco,SAMs, or reg grocery store. Most fresh excellent quality fruit from 99-1.29.per carton or item. Can make a couple of large fruit bowls. Hot dogs should be on sale soon for $1 a package, hamburger patties are also excellent from Aldi along with hot dog and hamb buns for .89. All the toxins are also really cheap. Their chips and snacky stuff very cheap. I would make a huge crock pot of beans, few side salads and a sheet cake from Costco. Would also serve ice water,tea and Koop aid for the kids. Total I would think it would be around $100. That is a great deal for a nice party. I think alcohol really blows the budget and I am not a drinker of any kind so I would not be serving alcohol.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Since we all have kids (& some have grands) on both sides we have agreed to skip b-day gifts & Christmas gifts among our siblings & older nieces/nephews.
As for Mothers's Day, dh has always planted flowers all around in our yard which is fine for me. We call it a "Hallmark Holiday", not really a holiday but have been commercially conditioned to feel guilty if you don't 'celebrate' it.

I told my mom & MIL I would steam clean their carpets for MD. To them, it's like a gift since they can't do it themselves, it would cost a lot to pay someone, & I have a carpet steamer. The only cost is buying the detergent which a $20 botttle will do both of their houses & ours too. I give dh practical gifts for FD. This year will be a Black Rapid camera strap to make it easy & safe to carry his camera on our summer trip.

To OP, unless all those b-day invites are for small children or adult milestone birthdays, I would decline. After a while it's gets tiring. I have a co-worker who has hosted catered parties for the past 3 Saturdays in a row: son's 16th bday, renewed vows for 25th anniversary, then her daughter graduated college. I asked her if the rest of her family was ready to kill her.
I later heard her on the phone pleading with someone to try to take off work to attend her dd's college graduation Mass the Friday night before the grad party. OMG, I'd be excited for all of these things for my own family but really wouldn't expect all of our family members to be as excited as we are. Enough is enough, both financially & considering people's weekend free time.

 

[dreamin_disney]

Yes lots of things happening. Do you have an Aldi's nearby. If so you could buy everything you need there. They are 50% cheaper than any Costco,SAMs, or reg grocery store. Most fresh excellent quality fruit from 99-1.29.per carton or item. Can make a couple of large fruit bowls. Hot dogs should be on sale soon for $1 a package, hamburger patties are also excellent from Aldi along with hot dog and hamb buns for .89. All the toxins are also really cheap. Their chips and snacky stuff very cheap. I would make a huge crock pot of beans, few side salads and a sheet cake from Costco. Would also serve ice water,tea and Koop aid for the kids. Total I would think it would be around $100. That is a great deal for a nice party. I think alcohol really blows the budget and I am not a drinker of any kind so I would not be serving alcohol.

There's no Aldi's in my area. I will start looking for deals. We will make a huge cooler jug of lemonade and a few of two litter sodas. Theres a Mexican market down the street and the vegetable are always cheaper so I will buy lettuce, tomatos and maybe red onion. I figure nachos are good to munch on.

Heres what i'm gonna do
-hamburgers, nachos and dh will have to pick between links or hot dogs. Nachos are a big hit here.
-fruit watermelon
-chips/dip
-chips and salsa
-costco cake
-lemonade/sodas/water
------------------------------------
if we go with smaller party Hopefully he goes for carnita mini mexican tacos, beans, rice, chips and salsa. cake

Since we all have kids (& some have grands) on both sides we have agreed to skip b-day gifts & Christmas gifts among our siblings & older nieces/nephews.
As for Mothers's Day, dh has always planted flowers all around in our yard which is fine for me. We call it a "Hallmark Holiday", not really a holiday but have been commercially conditioned to feel guilty if you don't 'celebrate' it.

I told my mom & MIL I would steam clean their carpets for MD. To them, it's like a gift since they can't do it themselves, it would cost a lot to pay someone, & I have a carpet steamer. The only cost is buying the detergent which a $20 botttle will do both of their houses & ours too. I give dh practical gifts for FD. This year will be a Black Rapid camera strap to make it easy & safe to carry his camera on our summer trip.

To OP, unless all those b-day invites are for small children or adult milestone birthdays, I would decline. After a while it's gets tiring. I have a co-worker who has hosted catered parties for the past 3 Saturdays in a row: son's 16th bday, renewed vows for 25th anniversary, then her daughter graduated college. I asked her if the rest of her family was ready to kill her.
I later heard her on the phone pleading with someone to try to take off work to attend her dd's college graduation Mass the Friday night before the grad party. OMG, I'd be excited for all of these things for my own family but really wouldn't expect all of our family members to be as excited as we are. Enough is enough, both financially & considering people's weekend free time.

Mothers day is MIL and Dh's gma's day. Dh will make me breakfast and give me a card and this year he put cash in my card, which I will use toward bills-lol! To me a simple hug and kiss from dd and dh is enough for me. I've never been a "you better buy me a gift" type person. As a kid I wouldnt even ask my mom for a $1.00 silly putting egg because $100.00 was a lot of money and I knew she didnt have $100.00-lol! Dh is not allowed to buy me roses for Valentines day or any other day way to much $$. I dont even have parties for myself. I'm just a simple person .A gift for MIL and dh's grandma is a must. Taking them out to breakfast or lunch wouldnt cut it. Plus we chip in for the bbq food MIL has at her place.

Most of the parties are on dh's side. My side is a lot smaller. Most of the parties are Dh's 1st cousins kids. I'm also going to tell dh that our God daughter will have X amount spent on them and cousins kids will look for some nice but on sale. And if we dont go to a party we arent giving a gift.

 

[taymaesmom]

We got lucky on dd's dress and shoes. Her dress was only $12 (dress for less-ross) same dress at another store was $68.

I got as lucky with some, one of dd's dresses was originally $45 and I got it for $12, the other was $37 and I got for less than $10. My dress I got at Target, originally $32 but got for $5 because the seam has come open, I sew so bought it and fixed for nothing! I spent $15 on dds shoes but she was able to wear them to prom and graduation!

 

[irishsharon]

This is a hard time on the budget but hopefully July and August will be better Have the party for your dh and enjoy it!

 

[dreamin_disney]

This is a hard time on the budget but hopefully July and August will be better Have the party for your dh and enjoy it!

At yesterdays party I was talking to my nephew and he was saying about his wifes family didnt have a lot of money when she was little but they saved to buy a video camera and video taped everything and they watched the videos and he was touched. I think it made him think of my mom and not having any vidos of her or family gathering. For my wedding he video taped my wedding for me with my camera and he mentioned how he went around and asked everyone to give dh and I a message. My nephew is 29 and as he talked the sparkle in his eye. After my moms (she was like a mother to him) death the family kinda seperated and the only time all my side gathers is at my dd's parties. Well I got to thinking about the conversation I had with my nephew and thought life is short why not just have everyone over and get everyone on camera. Dec 2012 my mammo came back abnormal and I had to have more scans, then the dreaded call for a breast biopsy. Luckily is wasnt cancer just calification. I talked to dh and he said ok with inviting everyone. I'm just gonna look for deals and enjoy the time with family. Another weird thing is last year dh aunt passed away a week before his Bday, neighbor lost their young adult daughter(days after dhs bday and a friend's daughter I went to high school was shot and killed 2 weeks after dh bday , so the talk yesterday hit me.

60 on the list
- 8 cant make it
-18 so far have confirmed

 

[irishsharon]

At yesterdays party I was talking to my nephew and he was saying about his wifes family didnt have a lot of money when she was little but they saved to buy a video camera and video taped everything and they watched the videos and he was touched. I think it made him think of my mom and not having any vidos of her or family gathering. For my wedding he video taped my wedding for me with my camera and he mentioned how he went around and asked everyone to give dh and I a message. My nephew is 29 and as he talked the sparkle in his eye. After my moms (she was like a mother to him) death the family kinda seperated and the only time all my side gathers is at my dd's parties. Well I got to thinking about the conversation I had with my nephew and thought life is short why not just have everyone over and get everyone on camera. Dec 2012 my mammo came back abnormal and I had to have more scans, then the dreaded call for a breast biopsy. Luckily is wasnt cancer just calification. I talked to dh and he said ok with inviting everyone. I'm just gonna look for deals and enjoy the time with family. Another weird thing is last year dh aunt passed away a week before his Bday, neighbor lost their young adult daughter(days after dhs bday and a friend's daughter I went to high school was shot and killed 2 weeks after dh bday , so the talk yesterday hit me.

60 on the list
- 8 cant make it
-18 so far have confirmed

We threw a big first bday party for my ds and we were so happy we did because 5 weeks later my dh's brother passed away suddenly at the age of 34.Everyone was so grateful we had that party because for many it was the last time they saw him.My dh is going through double hip replacement surgery and the doctors thought that he might have lymphoma(he doesn't) life is about making memories.The bills will still be there tomorrow but are loved ones may not P.S So glad you are ok