Banging my head against the wall

[AprilShowers]

DD's birthday falls on the same day as our High School Reunion. She is VERY sad about this fact.

I told her we would celebrate the week before. Here lies the problem. The Sunday before, we are getting together with my family because Dmom leaves for Florida for the winter, and we can't combine the two celebrations. (don't ask) I was NOT consulted.

SOOOOOO I plan DD's party at the horse farm where she takes riding lessons. She wanted to have a family party there so her cousins could ride horses with her. They have a party room there in the barn where we could have cake as well. I planned the party for Saturday, Nov. 18. (this is the ONLY day we can schedule this party anywhere NEAR her birthday - I've scoured the calendar)

BIG PROBLEM. That's the day Ohio State Buckeyes play the Michigan Wolverines. Now DH could care less about this game, but my Sister and her family are HUGE fans and it's more like a national holiday than "just" a football game. They aren't coming to DD's birthday party.

DH is MAD!!! I told Dsis that we would pick up her kids, bring them to the party and then drop them off at the football party afterwards. DH says "NO WAY" I say that DD wants her cousins there, and it's not her fault that Dsis would rather party for a football game than her neice.

DH says "why should we make it easy on Dsis to miss the birthday?"
I can't win.......

 

[jcsbama]

Your family sounds about like mine when trying to plan a birthday party. Do you have to go the HS reunion? To me, not celebrating your DD's b'day on her b'day because of the reunion is just as bad as the sister not coming to the party because of a football game.

ETA: My sister was on the committee that helped plan her reunion. Because she saw everyone she wanted to see during the planning, she had no desire to go to the actual reunion. Just saying because you didn't really elaborate much about the reunion and don't know exactly how involved you are with the planning and feel obligated to go or just that you want to go to see your old classmates.

 

[jcsbama]

Also, don't punish the cousins because their parents would rather watch a football game. Pick them up as you suggested. Your daughter will appreciate it.

 

[mickeyboat]

I agree, encourage your DH to change his mind about picking up the cousins. Your DD seems to really care about them being there.

Denae

 

[AprilShowers]

We have to go to the reunion. We are in charge of the planning. I didn't have a say in the date, but I am coordinating the entire thing.

We are celebrating with DD the day OF her birthday with our family (the 4 of us) at home, just not the big celebration. We'll just be going out to the reunion the evening of her birthday instead of having everyone over the night of her birthday for cake & ice cream.

I know it stinks that we have the reunion on her birthday, but I can't get out of it. So I'm doing the best I can with what I have to work with.

I'm completely not mad at Dsis for not coming to the birthday, but DH is. The party starts 1 hour before the game, he thinks she should come to the party, and miss some of the game. What he doesn't get is that it's a MAJOR EVENT in their lives! I'm not kidding here.

 

[palmtreegirl]

I agree with you, I think you should just pick the kids up. If your SIL has plans already I wouldn't make an issue of it just to try and prove a point it's not the time or place. If you DH has a problem with your SIL's decision he should work it out between them and not involve the kids.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Tell your DH to deal with it and stick with your plan of picking up and dropping off the kids. They want to be there and your DD wants them there. The OSU-UM game is a huge game, regardless of the year, but this year even moreso, so I can understand if you're a big fan (like your sister is), that's a day you're not going anywhere.

 

[pozey]

Totally agree with Bob Slydell. Pick the cousins up.

College Football is VERY important to a LOT of people.

 

[Soccermom-Cheri]

Can you go to the reunion after DD has had her cake and gone to bed? You don't mention how old DD is. Birthdays are really important to kids.

You sound very organized, so I'm sure you'll have everything taken care of before reunion/birthday day. Are you coordinating the entire thing all by yourself? Can someone else from the organizing committee open the reunion and you come along later?

 

[AprilShowers]

Thanks guys! This is what I told him. Do you want to "make a point" to Dsis? OR do you want DD to have a happy birthday party?

It's our job to make sure DD has a nice party. It's Dsis's decision to come or not to come. If we want her kids to come, we're bringing them. That's that.

In case you haven't figured out by now, he has other issues with my sis. She has a bit of a selfish streak and he thinks that this is one of those times. (I don't happen to think so) She COULD compromise if she wanted to, but I don't EXPECT her to. They have this whole group of friends who get together every week for OSU football. And this game? Well......forget about it? It's like Christmas, Thanksgiving & Easter all rolled up into one!

 

[Bob Slydell]

They have this whole group of friends who get together every week for OSU football. And this game? Well......forget about it? It's like Christmas, Thanksgiving & Easter all rolled up into one!

It really is. I know it sounds silly to others to say that about a sporting event, but to an OSU fan, there really is only one game every year that matters and it's the Michigan game. And this year is even more special than others because of what's at stake (a shot at the National Championship).

 

[golfgal]

Ok, let me get this straight, you can't have a combined party celebrating your mom going to Florida for the winter and your DD's birthday but it is ok to not to go to a party because of a football game? Just out of curiosity, what would your sister say if you didn't go to the party for mom because you had to go someplace else really important like a shoe sale???? .

I see your point but it seems to me like you have already made a lot of concessions for your DD regarding this party and if your sis or her DH can't take a few minutes out of their day to take their kids to the birthday party, then so be it, UNLESS they are the only other kids invited. I guess I am just one that takes the attitude of I extend the invitation for the day that works and if they can't make it, they can't make it. Invite some friends from school and have that as her party.

 

[taximomfor4]

I didn't catch how old your dd is, and how old the cousins are. If they are little, it is definitely tougher for them to understand all the workings. Personally, because of the sheer number of birthday parties going on at all times, we make the ones we can, and miss the ones we can't. I am sure some get offended, but I think most people don't.

I say extend the offer to pick up the cousins for the party. If they still cannot make it, let dd pick some friends to have there instead, and explain to dd that whether or not someone can come to a birthday party does NOT correlate to how much they love/don't love you. Most parties have at least some guests not able to come.

 

[Frantasmic]

Go Michigan.