Ballroom Dancing

[RachelEllen]

Curious people's opinions.

Do you think ballroom dancing (Dancesport type dancing) is an inappropriate activity for someone married or in a relationship to be doing without their partner. I'm not talking about the time it takes or the expense, but the nature of the activity.

 

[Sugardimples]

I see nothing wrong is doing ballroom dancing with someone other than your SO.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Well I would ask my partner if s/he wanted to first. If not, the nI do not see it as wrong. I really don't think it is any different than say finding someone else to play tennis with you if your partner does not want to play tennis and you do.

 

[mtemm]

nope.

 

[RichNKatHolly]

Inappropriate? No.

Would I be 100% comfy with my DH doing it with another woman? I don't think so. I'd hope I'd be his partner if that is what he wanted to do though. Perhaps if I didn't then I wouldn't mind.

 

[cteddiesgirl]

I see no problems with it. Look at some of the professionals on Dancing With the Stars. Some of them are married, yet they dance with other people on a regular basis.

As long as the relationship is kept on a "professional" level, who cares?

 

[monkey68]

I don't think it's that big a deal if the spouse doesn't want to or isn't on the same level. If it's something you enjoy, then what's the problem? It's just dancing, it's not like you're marrying the person.

 

[Pakey]

If my husband wanted to ballroom dance with another woman, I'd say go for it. Then in secret, I'd be laughing my bahookie off at what that poor woman would have to go through.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would not want my DH ballroom dancing with a reg. partner. If he is dancing it had better be with me.

A couple of months ago we went to a ballroom dancing place in the city. Let me tell you even though we may have been the young ones there we were no match for the flair of the dancers. They were good and listening to the big band era was fun.

I will have to say that we were carefully watching the passing of the partners because it was entertaining. They had a "code" or system or something.

It was certainly interesting.

 

[clgwli]

Given both my DH and I have taught latin ballroom styles before I see no issue with it. Most of the time people just have a blast doing it and I have learned a lot from a partner who was not my husband as well. It's more common in our culture though to dance with others to begin with though, so that might be clouding our view a little more.

While I enjoy dancing with my husband, physically I worked better with most moves with someone who was shorter than my husband. We would absolutely tear up a dance floor at weddings or other social occasions and my husband enjoyed watching us together.

In all the times dancing with other guys only once have I felt uncomfortable doing so. It was a NYE party and a guy had drank a little too much and getting a little too close to me. In ballroom dancing there is almost always a 'dance space' that shouldn't be crossed. He kept trying to break form too much and I didn't care for it. I pushed him back on his girlfriend and moved on to someone else.

So most of the time ballroom dancing doesn't even bring in much "touching closely" in in appropriate ways anyway.

 

[RachelEllen]

Well, it's nice to see I'm not totally in left field on this one.

I've done some sort of dancing most of my life. Middle Eastern, jazz, ballet, etc. When I met my husband, I was taking ballroom dancing lessons, in fact. I haven't done anything in the past two years (new job, marriage, baby....too busy!) but someone at work mentioned that I lived near a really good professional studio. I got so jazzed at the thought of taking it back up. Maybe getting back to the level to do pro/am competitions, that sort of thing. My husband, on the other hand, has never shown any interest in dance. And the few times I've brought up taking lessons together, he wasn't interested.

So, I was so excited to tell him that I had found a studio really close to us. Found a teacher that was affordable and had time available that I could fit in once a week between work and the end of our child care hours. And, I was kind of taken aback when I could tell he was upset by the idea.

The teacher does International Standard btw, not even rhythm!

He said a few days later that he was just caught by suprise, and was ok with me doing the lessons. But I was just curious if I was way out of the norm even considering this.

 

[Imzadi]

It's ballroom dancing , not dirty dancing. I wouldn't have a problem with it.

So, I was so excited to tell him that I had found a studio really close to us.

And, I was kind of taken aback when I could tell he was upset by the idea.

He said a few days later that he was just caught by suprise, and was ok with me doing the lessons. But I was just curious if I was way out of the norm even considering this.

He was probably more upset by your sudden excitement for it, if you usually don't exhibit that for wanting to do other activities. It's weird to explain, but some people feel threatened when their partner feels passionate about doing something. It could be pumpkin carving, not dancing, and they'd still feel the same thing. For some people it's lasting. Glad your DH got over his.

 

[KSchwagg86]

Yea, I get uncomfortable watching shows like Dancing With the Stars and they basically look like they are having sex and the wife is just looking on from the audience--that would NOT be ok with me

 

[RachelEllen]

I love Dancing with the Stars. Maybe that's part of the problem! I should switch to some real ballroom competitions on PBS (not as glitzy, but much more representative of DanceSport). Trust me, shirts remain on at all times in the classroom!

 

[WDWDancer]

I competed on a national level in Pro-Am and Junior divisions....Latin/Rhythm/Smooth with a couple different partners (some which you guys know from DWTS). I did this super heavy (practiced a couple hours several nights a week), traveled all over the country & overseas from the time I was 16-22.

My ex df tried being ok with it bu the wasn't it came out, he was jealous of the time I spent with my coaches and the "acts" that were done on the floor. I tried constantly reassuring explaining its just dancing, getting him involved in the dancing, etc but nothing worked. A earlier BF informed me he didn't appreciate the looks I got, my coaches weren't gay so he knew "exactly" what was going through their mind?!?!?! Ya, this was from my dance competition videos he WATCHED that relationship ended faster then it started! LOL My current DF is AMAZING....he loves what I do, loves watching me do my thing, and has started learning so he can do it in social situations with me.

 

[Judy from Boise]

I would consider it the same as acting. It is not "you" per se but a performance persona.

 

[KristaTX]

I normally keep my mouth shut on these husband/wife jealousy threads, but I'll chime in on this one.

I'd absolutely hate it if my husband had a regular dance partner, or any female partner for just about anything, who wasn't me. Unless she was super unattractive . But I have always been the jealous type, even just in my own relationships with friends, family, etc. It's a flaw, but I'll admit to it.

I don't watch Dancing With the Stars, but haven't there been some instances where the couples ended up getting involved with each other? It just seems like the kind of intense, hands-on activity that couldn't help but make people feel close.

 

[Imzadi]

I don't watch Dancing With the Stars, but haven't there been some instances where the couples ended up getting involved with each other? It just seems like the kind of intense, hands-on activity that couldn't help but make people feel close.

There is a difference in dancing 6-8 hours each day, every day for 12 weeks straight, with only the two of them alone together, vs. a 3 hr. class once a week, with a full class, a teacher watching your every move and changing partners each week.


I would LOVE to take ballroom classes and learn the Argentine tango, one of the steamier, sexy dances. But, I am afraid, I will end up paired with --> , who wreaks of body odor , has no rhythm , steps on my toes all the time , and endlessly yaks my ear off , since he finally has someone trapped in proximity he can do that to, whereas people usually RUN when they see him coming.

It is usually not my great fortune to end up with a partner who looks like Giles Martini (or whatever his last name is,) who was one of the finalists in Dancing With the Stars, and did a delishously memorable full monty in Sex & the City.


And, OP, if your DH saw you drooling over Giles the way I was while he was dancing, yes, I can understand now why he was upset at first when you told him the news.

 

[RachelEllen]

The only reality tv couple I can think that involved married folks was the Buffy Actress on that skating show.

Besides, I'm learning international standard - waltz, foxtrot, tango (not argentine) that sort of thing.

(Oh, and Gilles was robbed.)