Bah, Humbug

[solfan68]

maybe I am just tired of the whole commercialization of Christmas.

"Look, Charlie, let's face it. We all know that Christmas is a big commercial racket. It's run by a big eastern syndicate, you know."

Sorry. Couldn't help myself. Here's hoping you all find some point of joy in this special time of year.

 

[crazelion]

Honestly, I have no particular reason to feel this way. Time is running short, we are actually heading down to Disney on the 11th and I AM excited about that! I haven't seen the lights at Disney since we moved from CA. DH's work schedule usually doesn't allow him to get off in Dec.

DH has a job. We are not in any dire straits. We stay within budget, so it isn't really about money (although with pay cuts things are tighter, but hey, he has a job.)

Honestly, I think part of it is that I had pneumonia most of November and couldn't get the gifts made I had hoped I could and now there is no time.

We don't go anywhere or see anyone different at Christmas (family all live far away) so there isn't anything special that way.....

Just can't get in the "spirit" this year.....maybe it all just seems like too much work, overwhelming to try to get gifts off in the mail, etc....in time. It may just NOT happen! Christmas may have to come late for some people this year.

DH's family is hard to buy for. Don't want to go into too many details, but they stress me out.

Dawn

Please don't push your self and let body heal. That is most important thing. I know I had pneumonia/sinus/bronchitis at Thanksgiving last year. Did feel like doing anything until January.

You can always start a new tradition.

I am not in the mood either. But I am getting there. I think learning the real meaning of Christmas just being with family and friends is making me happy.

 

[hoosiergirl7]

I'm only feeling that way because I LOATHE where my husband's job has moved us. This will be our 3rd and final Christmas here. We're actually traveling to see family but I'm looking forward to the day when we only make the occasional journey to see the in-laws. DH is retiring from the military next summer and we're moving to where I grew up and my family is because we are so much closer to my family than we are his parents. His brother lives in my hometown since DH's brother's wife is my best friend and she convinced him to move there almost 3 years ago to be closer to her family.

I also hate the house we're renting but it's convenient to DH's work and is in the area where we wanted to send DS to school. It doesn't feel like home and we really dislike our landlord as he's not doing as good of a job taking care of the property as he should. And this baffles me as he said this summer that he and his wife are planning on moving in here when we move out.

I have gotten a bit of shopping done but I'm not looking forward to decorating the house.

 

[eatatmidnight]

It is ok to have those feelings. You may be on to something when you speak of the commercialization of Christmas. Remember the old song "Tis a gift to be simple"? This may be the year for you to embrace that philosophy. So, for now, focus on the Christmas things that strenghten your relationships and set aside the things that don't.
(well you or dh do have to buy the inlaws something or they may become outlaws

One thing that has helped me when I've felt this way is to find someone or some charity that needs help and serve...if even for an afternoon.

Pixie Dust and hugs to you

 

[avgeek81]

I recently moved to FLA, so this will be my first christmas away from family. Also i work in retail so you know how the holidays are for me. I wasnt planning on having a big tree, i just brought a mini tree from home. But my roommate insisted on having a big tree and she put out lights in the yard. I have to tell you it really put me in the spririt.
Also my friend has a 3 yr old so we get excited for him. Tonight we are bringing him to the tree lighting. We also found a radio station that plays just christmas music.
And since i now live in FLA i get to see disney at christmas for the first time. Yesterday i went to Seaworld, next week im going to epcot and plan to see MK at somepoint this month.
Im going home in Jan for my moms birthday so ill see family then. she said she might even keep the decorations up for me.
I hope everyone that is feeling blue can find a reason to celebrate

 

[C.Ann]

I'm having trouble getting into the spirit too. My sister died of breast cancer in August and I am dreading the first Christmas without her. Thanksgiving wasn't too bad because we could just pretend she was at the in-laws but I am afraid Christmas will be really hard..

I'm sorry.. The holidays are always particularly hard when you have lost a loved one..

Just do what you can (or want).. That's the most anyone can ask..

 

[mafibisha]

I understand. We too are having manyyyyy issues that could keep us from the Christmas spirit.

What makes a difference for me, is remembering the *true* reason for Christmas, the birth of Christ.

I may not be *happy* all the time (major understatement! ) but I do have *joy* because He makes all the difference.

I hope y'all will find true Christmas joy, too.

 

[DawnM]

Got a few things for the kids this morning.

The kids want a ping pong table and I have found a good one used (my kids don't care if it is used!) but the problem is going to be hiding it from now until Christmas. I may have to give it to them early as the people selling need it out because they are moving.

I had hoped to surprise them Christmas morning.

Ordering my parent's gifts this afternoon.

Dawn

 

[DawnM]

So sorry for the many of you who have lost loved ones.

Dawn

 

[Lorix2]

Hi everyone,

I'm feeling blah this Christmas too.

The budget is tight here too and I'm disappointed in myself every time this year because I haven't put enough money away to enjoy the shopping experience without having to really think each purchase for my kids. They never ask us for anything, so at this time of year I like to splurge a little for them. My DH and I aren't even buying for each other and I hate that.

My DD18 is having extensive surgery on December 21st and the anxiety over it is literally making me ill. So, Christmas is not a priority to me right now because my mind is on her and helping her recover.

For the sake of my kids, I am pushing myself to decorate today and wrap what little I have bought so far to get into the spirit.

I hope everyone will find a way to enjoy these next few weeks and have a wonderful holiday despite all of our worries and circumstances

 

[rockiesfan]

The kids want a ping pong table and I have found a good one used (my kids don't care if it is used!) but the problem is going to be hiding it from now until Christmas. I may have to give it to them early as the people selling need it out because they are moving.

I had hoped to surprise them Christmas morning.

Do you have a neighbor with a walk-out basement? One year I found a great deal at a garage sale on a full size bar quality air hockey table. My neighbor offered to store it for us in her basement for four months!!! We didn't even know them very well because we had just moved here. Six of us carried it from her house to ours in the dark on Christmas Eve. It was a great great surprise

 

[DAISYDUCKRN]

I also feel sad and blue about the holidays, maybe it might do me some good to get things off my chest here since i cannot talk with my family, other than my husband. We have a great family and family life, or so we thought. Two years ago we found out that one of our children was doing drugs. The child hid it so well that we never saw it. We are both medical professionals and now we feel so much guilt that we did not notice. At that time we were taking care of very ill parents, and much of our focus was on them, believing all was well with the kids, sadly the parents passed away and it was shortly after that we discovered the drug problem. We spent a significant amount of money on therapy, etc believing that would help. Story continues, but as of now the child is somewhat better. I feel horrible as a mother that I failed to pick up on this problem and the guilt is consuming me day and night. So because of this I truly have no desire to buy gifts, but I did manage to buy some and will probably do more. We are putting up decorations today but have no entheusiasm as in years past. I feel sad and depressed, and have spoke to professionals who tell me I as a parent should not feel guilty. Oh well, this is my reason for not getting into the spirit this year. I think just writting this may have helped my spirit some. Thanks for listening

 

[MSSANDRA]

Hugs and prayers for all who have had loss this year. We lost my mom in October and Christmas is going to be VERY hard this year. We are trying to just do things a little at a time. We have shopped but no tree yet. Our 1st Christmas party is tonight so we will see how that goes. We have a four year old in our home and I am determine not to be a downer for his Christmas so that encourages me to push on.
Knowing we are not alone does help!!!

 

[C.Ann]

I also feel sad and blue about the holidays, maybe it might do me some good to get things off my chest here since i cannot talk with my family, other than my husband. We have a great family and family life, or so we thought. Two years ago we found out that one of our children was doing drugs. The child hid it so well that we never saw it. We are both medical professionals and now we feel so much guilt that we did not notice. At that time we were taking care of very ill parents, and much of our focus was on them, believing all was well with the kids, sadly the parents passed away and it was shortly after that we discovered the drug problem. We spent a significant amount of money on therapy, etc believing that would help. Story continues, but as of now the child is somewhat better. I feel horrible as a mother that I failed to pick up on this problem and the guilt is consuming me day and night. So because of this I truly have no desire to buy gifts, but I did manage to buy some and will probably do more. We are putting up decorations today but have no entheusiasm as in years past. I feel sad and depressed, and have spoke to professionals who tell me I as a parent should not feel guilty. Oh well, this is my reason for not getting into the spirit this year. I think just writting this may have helped my spirit some. Thanks for listening

I have to echo what you have already been told.. There is nothing to feel guilty about.. People who use drugs (even adults) are able to hide it extremely well.. Children are even better at it.. For many, many years I was a co-coordinator for a Tough Love group.. I dealt with parents of teens - as well as parents of adult children.. I saw parents who were professionals all the time - as well as ministers; police officers; teachers; doctors; lawyers; even substance abuse counselors.. If someone wants to "hide" a drug habit, believe me - they can do it, do it well, and do it for a long time before they are finally "outted".. Those parents felt just as bad as you do - but as we pointed out to them, there was no need to feel gulity - not to mention that "guilt" is a useless emotion and a huge waster of time and energy..

I hope that you continue to see improvement with the situation and soon you can return to your formerly happy self.. (Also my condolences on the loss of parents.. I'm sure that doesn't put you in a very festive mood either..)

Hang in there - and if you ever need an "ear" just to listen, feel free to PM me..

 

[disneyhand]

I need some help I think.

I am just NOT feeling the Christmas spirit this year. I don't have any desire to get my decorations out, I loathe the thought of Christmas shopping, wrapping, or shipping this year......

I usually love Christmas.....I don't know what is wrong with me. I just really want to hide in a corner until the entire season is over this year.

Dawn

My children are all grown up now. It happened so fast and one lives in a different state. He won't be home with us for Christmas. Selfishly I'm dreading that. Thanksgiving was also hard. However I love Christmas! I always have.

The last couple years though I've become so burnt out on the over consumption and commercialism, the rush, stress and over spending. So I have spent the last couple years going out on a limb mentioning and in a few cases convincing/ wearing down family and friends to end the madness!

Now we don't do any more gift giving outside the core family with only a couple exceptions. Those are mainly kids. I love Christmas for kids! We now try to focus on traditions, time together and holiday events that are mostly free! This has been such a relief and freedom that I can't even describe it! Finding ways to help out others makes me feel good.

Last night we went to our small town parade and festival. We had a blast. Took a 10 yo nephew and a 6 yo neighbor girl. So fun. Free. I did spend $3.00 on hot chocolate and cookies though! The whole vibe there made me so happy!

Sorry for rambling. OP since you have young children, please talk to them.
Find a way to get them to help you with decorating and ask what's important to them at the holidays.

You may be surprised that they like traditions and decorating or cookie baking more than you thought. One year with a broken ankle and the mention of only decorating the tree, my daughter let me know that wouldn't fly. So she really pitched in to make it happen.

Back in the day my daughter at age 12 started the tradition of doing my gift wrapping for me. Huge help and she became really good at it!

So get help and participation from the family, downsize like crazy, find ways to make gift purchasing easier; order on line with direct ship, send husband out with a list. Focus on your kids and the non stress traditions you can enjoy. Merry, merry Christmas to you and your family!

 

[C.Ann]

I also think it makes a world of difference when there aren't any "little ones" (Santa believers) at home anymore - or you don't have young grandchildren to create that illusion of "magic" for anymore..

With DGD being 12 now, it's definitely different - very, very different.. Sure - we'll still have the spirit - and have lots of fun - but it certainly isn't the same as when she was little..

Know anyone you can "borrow" a little one from? (If so, grab us one too..)LOL..

 

[windycitymom]

The kids want a ping pong table and I have found a good one used (my kids don't care if it is used!) but the problem is going to be hiding it from now until Christmas. I may have to give it to them early as the people selling need it out because they are moving.


Dawn

What if you brought it into the house and put a big tablecloth or sheet over it (so it touched the ground) and put Christmas decorations on top? Tell them it's a temporary holiday table until the holidays are over? It's ok to squish some furniture together for a few more weeks. Or tell them it's the new laundry folding table LOL Even if they figured it out, I would keep it covered up until Christmas and then let them play with it.

 

[pearlieq]

I've found the quickest way to raise my spirits is to do good for others.

Do you know someone who could use some help this year? Maybe an elderly person who has trouble shopping or cooking? Can you adopt a family and make a cheery Christmas for them? Can you watch kids for a harried mom trying to get everything done this year? Do you know someone who could use some cheer from a nice, personal Christmas letter?

Look for ways to bring someone else up--you'll rise right along with them.

 

[DawnM]

No, no, no! You did NOT fail as a mother. If you were a failure you wouldn't feel any guilt at all! You are doing exactly what your child needs and sometimes you CANNOT tell what is going on until it becomes a real problem. And you were spread quite thin.

I am so sorry. But it sounds like things are heading in the right direction.

Dawn

I also feel sad and blue about the holidays, maybe it might do me some good to get things off my chest here since i cannot talk with my family, other than my husband. We have a great family and family life, or so we thought. Two years ago we found out that one of our children was doing drugs. The child hid it so well that we never saw it. We are both medical professionals and now we feel so much guilt that we did not notice. At that time we were taking care of very ill parents, and much of our focus was on them, believing all was well with the kids, sadly the parents passed away and it was shortly after that we discovered the drug problem. We spent a significant amount of money on therapy, etc believing that would help. Story continues, but as of now the child is somewhat better. I feel horrible as a mother that I failed to pick up on this problem and the guilt is consuming me day and night. So because of this I truly have no desire to buy gifts, but I did manage to buy some and will probably do more. We are putting up decorations today but have no entheusiasm as in years past. I feel sad and depressed, and have spoke to professionals who tell me I as a parent should not feel guilty. Oh well, this is my reason for not getting into the spirit this year. I think just writting this may have helped my spirit some. Thanks for listening

 

[disneychrista]

I am kinda feeling the same way and have for the past few years. It just doesn't have that magic anymore.